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working to conquer OCD
been feeling good no anxiety but yesterday i was thinking about when my therapy appointment will come through and the reason why i'm starting it and now i'm anxious about it and the thing that's troubling me š£
I donāt want any reassurance just expressing myselfā¦ Knowing that youāve caused damage in your relationship and feeling guilty for stressing your partner out has got to be one of the worst feelings. Knowing that they could easily be with someone else not going through these issues with but then choosing to be with you brings in nothing but shame and guilt.
I canāt take this anymore!!! My anxiety is bad!! I really believe I wanna break up!!! Been obsessing about our issues that we wanna work on! I want the relationship ocd or anxiety to go away so we can try to figure stuff out together! I donāt wanna end it!!!! I hate that I feel the reason I canāt leave is bc I donāt wanna hurt him when I use to obsess about that so much before it got this bad! Please I know I still love him more than a friend! I want this shit to stop!!!
My ocd has most been a struggle in relation to procrastination. Over the past couple semesters, my anxiety would spike and my will to do assignments would drop dramatically. My friend notes that her ocd used to spike when she was stressed and suggested I may have the same problem. My mind and body almost go into a coma like state where all I want to do is lay around and avoid my assignments. This then reflects on my self image and how I view myself creating a negative thought space because I will relate my success on the classroom to my self confidence and self value. Among other things I get urges stronger sometimes than other times to do something a certain way. And itās not in the traditional way that you see on movies where someone has to turn a door handle 7 times before they can go through that door. But more like an urge to do something and if itās not done in that exact way, it just feels off, wrong and not right. Sometimes itās wanting to listen to a specific song, or laying an object down a specific way, or laying down in a certain position. Sometimes itās an order of doing things obsession. For instance; one time I was getting ready for the day. And I visualized for myself a perfect routine and order of things that I needed to get done so that I could prep for the next day. I got through a couple of tasks but then realized I couldnāt find my lifting shirt. This for some reason threw me over the edge, and out of frustration I could not finish the rest of my self assigned tasks. This sort of plays into the procrastination thing I think. Trying to self asses this mentally is very challenging. Trying to diagnose these invisible urges that have always been ānormalā to you and deciding whether they are from the cause of OCD or not has also been difficult. This semester I finally decided to see a therapist, and it didnāt go so well. Some how he forgot the reason behind my appointments being ocd, and he failed to reschedule after two weeks of visiting. Pretty embarrassing and frustrating overall. While trying to assess whether I actually had OCD I found out that my dad also has OCD. So maybe it something that can be passed down. It seems like my ocd really ātook offā when I realized I had it. The way people react to this has also been interesting. I donāt think people have enough information on what OCD is and how it really works. Most people think of it as an obsession to washing your hands a certain amount of times, or doing routine things a certain way. A lot like Bill Murrayās character from what about Bob. But for me itās so much different. Almost embarrassing or shameful sometimes to me because of the way some people have reacted when I tell them I have ocd. One professor comes to mind who gave me a strange look. I also worry about telling a girlfriend I have OCD because I hate them to think I have some large over-looming mental problem. Thatās all the thoughts I really have on that as of now.
Iāve got a lot of bad coping mechanisms. I smoke, drink, isolate and hurt myself to help quiet my mind when it gets overwhelming. Can these count as compulsions? (Also not completely sure if I have OCD)
Who has an OCD recovery story they wanna share? Could use some motivation.
Iāve been struggling with sexual ocd, im 13 btw so itās only clear that this would happen at some pointš”š” anyway itās Christmas Day and Iāve BASICLY been crying the whole time. Iāve always been close with my mum especially since Iāve been Ill and of course my ocd has decided to take a hold on that, I always thought I could tell her anything and and feel safe with her but this is somthing I canāt bring myself to talk about with her sheās knows whatās going on and sheās encouraged me to talk to her but I canāt do it. Iāve been having sexual intrusive thoughts about her and itās horrible Iāve been having thoughts fetishising mother daughter relationships, lesbian and men realationships, r@pe etc. and Iāve heard of the groinal sensation but Iām scared what Iām experiencing isnāt the same thing like I generally think if I wanted to I could masturbate to any of theese thoughts, I know it in fact. And that terrifies me especially since Iāve thought of some those before on purpose. I feel like there not even intrusive thoughts and Iām just a creep. I think if wither away and die without hugs and now I canāt get any my ocd has taken away the one thing I feel safe with Iāve never felt so alone and scared. I would never hurt anyone but that dosent make all theese wierd wrong sexual fantasies any more ok right? Please help me I know reassurance is proven as bad but I havenāt had any and Iām too scared and tired of fighting so please just this once help me feel less insane whenever Iāve made posts like this before no one repliesā¹ļøI hope your Christmas is going better than mine š
So after a mistake I made while drunk, one Iāve taken the adult approach to fix, Iāve taken full responsibility for and not sat here at all playing the victim when I know I wasnāt, all my friends have left me. They shamed me, they didnāt act like friends during the situation, they didnāt think about the other perosn they fully blamed me and now Iām sat here wanting my life to fully stop. I felt eith someone who was in a relationship, I was fully out of it drunk off my head and yes I did know. However bevauzs of the alcohol snd the sex my entire body was taken over my these 2 emotions, I didnāt care in the moment. My thoughts were, and Iām not gonna sit here and say they werenāt, they were selfish. I didnāt think of consequences or who I couldnāt hurt. Yet I did it. Im not this perosn, why I did it im not sure why I didnāt stop it I donāt know. Thinking back is hard itās so blurry I donāt even know how I got there. The guy was driving, he says he was drunk but idk what to believe anymore. Im not trying to excuse it im just explaining the story. Now Iāve lost everyone. Iāve told the girl and apologised, I told the guy to tell his girl, Iāve done everything I can. Im currently talking to someone who I really like, but theyāre away till April and we havenāt even talked about seeing other people we both just expected we would be, but I know heās been cheated on in the past and now im scared to tell him about this. Im not a cheater, I never have been never will be. But im scared heās not gonna see it like that, idk what to do now. I know I have to tell him to be respectful, but loosing him rn after everything else I think it might end me. Heās gonna hate me but thereās nothing I can do but explain how much I regret it and im learning from my mistake. People make mistakes right? Idk I know saying I was drunk isnāt a good enough reason, but itās the only one I have. I wouldnāt have done it sober, I wouldnāt have done it tipsy, I was completely hammered off my head and shouldnāt have been out or even in that situation. But nobody seems to care about that, so idk what im to say anymore. I didnāt do it maliciously, it just happened
Does anyone else think about life so deeply all the time, i have always been a deep thinker since i was young and ive had ocd my whole life so that has made me think 10x deeper. I always think and worry how we are all here and nobody knows why and the fact that we all die also terrifies me and we dont know what happens after we do die. Im terrified of the people i love dying . but i also have suicide ocd, i dont want to hurt myself ever but i worry that if i become so depressed that i will or something like that and that turned into an ocd for me, i really dont want to ever hurt myself but feeling depressed scares me. For years now it has been an ocd thing for me about the people i love dying and i have to do mental complusions every single day , although it comes in phases where its worse than others. It has gotten worse because my dad just turned 50 and i turn 19 in 6 days, life is changing and everyone is getting older and its been making me depressed and anxious and theres nothing i can do about it because it is life. I just want to know if other people feel the same also. Its christmas eve and im just depressed and i dont know why.
General statement/question for anyone who can possibly relate: I've been struggling with ROCD for about 3 months now, the typical "do I actually love him", "what if I don't and I'm just leading him on", "why don't I feel connected any more, this must mean something is wrong with us", "planning the future makes me anxious because we might break up"...the list goes on. I've been especially struggling these past few days. I want a big future with this man and I've never second guessed it until all these intrusive thoughts have come into my life with a bang. I hate them. I feel so emotionally drained and incapable of enjoying the moments I have with him because I'm constantly thinking about the things missing. The fact I struggle to stay present. As we all probably know the age old reassurance after an anxiety inducing thought- I do this fairly often, googling my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way. I am so beyond exhausted. I know I want to marry this man and a future with him isn't scary, it's just significant moments that trigger me and suddenly I'm spiring into the OCD cycle again. I just want to know other people feel the same? I've been feeling so flat and disconnected from everyone, especially him which breaks my heart. I know I love him, so deeply - even writing that my brain said "are you sure you do?". I just want to see if other people experience ROCD similar to me. Thanks
I hate that idek if it is rocd this time, how can I go from liking someone so much to then a week later thinking u don't like her anymore you're guilty about it and u wouldn't care if u ended things you should end things it isn't rocd ur using that as an excuse that feeling just isn't there anymore even tho I don't want to end things with her that's why I haven't since I've felt like this
I've got a Christmas party with my husband's family this afternoon and there will be a LOT of people there. I'm so anxious to go because his family always seems to be sick with something. There will also be a few very young children (walking petri dishes in my opinion). How can I enjoy myself and not let the fear of catching something get to me? I'll be using my response prevention messages of course, but those don't always work for me. There's going to be about 35-40 of us in a small home exchanging presents and eating and drinking. (I will not be eating or drinking ofc) It really bothers my husband when I'm anxious and uncomfortable around his family and I'd like to be calm and happy and enjoy myself for him and for my sake as well. Any advice would be appreciated!
I feel in the way today. Iāve been a good person and ticked all the friendship boxes. Iāve distributed Christmas presents and even put up with the people I donāt like. When I have good friends and I am a good friend why is it at these times I feel like a burden. Maybe exposing myself as a good friend makes me feel vulnerable.
I donāt know what to do at this point everyday Iām stuck in the same loop because I have got it in my head that I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing. Because for some reason when I imagined doing it to test myself I got anxious but at the same time it felt like I liked the feeling of doing that and I donāt know why, I donāt want to do that and it doesnāt make me happy thinking about these thought so I donāt understand why it feels like how it feels to do that Iām stuck in this loop of imagining the thoughts to test myself then feeling like Iām getting no answers or they it feels like I do like the feeling and then crying and telling my mum about it. Everyday weāre having the same conversation because I canāt get over this. There are no answers for me, I donāt like the fact that it felt like I liked imagining doing that but I donāt get it. I wrote down how i feel so I can try to figure it out so 1. when I try to test myself, I donāt like bringing on the thoughts 2. I instantly get an anxious feeling and feel like I need to go poop.(sorry bit tmi) 3.I donāt feel like I want to do that but for some reason when I imagine it it feels like I want to do that or like the feeling or doing that, and itās been really worrying me I donāt want to like the feeling of doing something so horrible and I know I donāt want to do that. I donāt know if my feelings are misfiring or Iāve confused my anxiety with āliking the feelingā but itās horrible I feel so worn out by this whole situation but i donāt know what to do, starting to worry that maybe I do have ocd but now I imagined how it feels to do that and I like it and itās worrying me. The only other thing I can think of is, is it possible that Iāve been having these thoughts for so long and itās felt like an urge and Iām frustrated from having the thoughts but when I tested myself and imagined doing that I some how āgave in to an urgeā in my thoughts so not that I like doing that horrible thing but because it feels like an urge and Iām frustrated that i donāt even know what Iām trying to say but I just feel terrible āwhat if I liked the feeling of doing that in the thought because it felt like a relief to give in to an urge in my thoughtā but I donāt actually want to do that so now Iām crying and ruminating constantly, there isnāt a day I donāt cry and Iām just lost, Iām walking around thinking I like the feeling of doing that but donāt want to do that?? I donāt even understand these feelings myself like I donāt even know what part of imaging that is making me feel like i like the feeling of doing that? Or what feeling is making me feel like that because I definitely donāt feel happy imagining these things so what is this? How can I like the feeling of doing something but not be happy about it and instead stressed 24/7 depressed miserable crying and a mess? Please can someone give me and answer it makes me feel awful thinking that I like the feeling of suffocating someone, itās honestly terrible and Iām just stuck in a loop or ruminating/deliberately imagining and testing myself and crying and Iām starting to feel like there are no answers for me and Iām just a horrible person with evil desires. Iām only 19 I havenāt even lived my life but Iām stuck on this idea/feeling that I like doing something so horrible please someone give me advice
Yesterday I seen a post my mates girlfriend posted on FB. I noticed on the pic some of her thigh was there, she has tights on I think. Anyway I kind of felt some arousal! I think she is an attractive person and I would never cross that line or anything as it's my mates gf! But why did I feel some arousal. Is it normal make biology or maybe it's OCD and feeling on edge by looking lol. Flipping mind!
Hi everyone, hope you all are doing well! I pray for healing for all those who are suffering from these unwanted thoughts. I want to share my story with you all to receive some guidance and hope. I am currently 18 years old and in desperate need for some advice. This can be a triggering story, so please read if you wish. I was molested at 3 years old by my preschool teacher. This has brought me a lot of trauma physically, mentally, spiritually,etc. I didnāt know how much of an impact it had on me, especially when I didnāt remember the incident until later on in my preteen years. I grew up to be a very shy and isolated individual. I was also bullied very badly my middle and high school years. About 6 years ago is when I had my first unwanted intrusive thought. It was about a family member. I started slowly disassociating with them. The thoughts continued getting worse and worse, and was about multiple family members then. About 3 years ago is when I started getting pocd thoughts. These thoughts give me so much distress, especially relating to my story. How can someone so evil take it into their will to harm something so pure and innocent. I get angry and cry every time I think about it. These unwanted thoughts affected me so much I get uncomfortable being around children. Please if anyone can give advice as to how they overcame these unwanted thoughts, it would be greatly appreciated.
Can you get use to the feeling of anxiety and it wonāt feel that daunting/painful as it once did? When I first had this problem the anxiety was extreme and painful and I wanted it to go but now Iām worried that my anxiety that makes me need to poop isnāt anxiety and is excitement because of the evil thoughts Iām really scared Iām feeling as though I enjoy these thoughts and want to act in them and I feel conflicted and very confused I donāt want to do that but now Iām worried Iām bad and have evil desires please help, people say online that they know itās intrusive thoughts because it feels horrible but the thoughts donāt feel really horrible anymore they feel like any other thought I donāt like them but they donāt cause me as much distress and now I donāt know if Iām confused or if I actually enjoy imagining doing those horrible things because it feels like I want to but I know that I donāt want to but my feelings are all mixed up please help
I wanted to ask anybody out there if anyone up there has the type of OCD that I have I have music playing in my head on a constant loop 24 hours a day 7 days a week I have conversations and I have music in my head when I'm falling asleep I have music in my head so it's hard for me to sleep and fall asleep so if anybody has any tips that can help me with this I would truly appreciate it. Thank you
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OCD doesn't have to
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