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working to conquer OCD
I'm literally just exhausted, I just to cry and rip my brain apart. I either get sexual images or gay ones or weird ones. I'm literally worn out, I don't see the point in keep doing this if I have to stay like this. I would rather die or lock myself alone for the rest of my life than being with someone of the same sex. I truly feel like I'm gonna do or say something screwed up. I just want this to stop please
i have a date tomorrow! which is exciting but also really fucking scary. like they’re so nice but we’re watching movies together and im worried they’ll make some move i can’t abide bc of my ocd like if they try to like. Put their arm around me i might freak out i can’t can’t can’t handle touch and i don’t know WHY
I’m about to sit with the thoughts and let them be there. Here goes nothing. I’ve had some weird anxiety all day and I just want to cry. I haven’t really thought about the thoughts to much I’ve just noticed them all day. Ugh I want to be better already. Wish me luck!! I’m about to go through hell letting these thoughts be here but it will be worth it
Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.
Ok so just now I got a really bad intrusive thought it was “what if I’m actually gay” but I’m trying to handle it as good as I can. I’m always nervous that I don’t actually have ocd and I’m just denying that I’m gay. I almost did a compulsion, it was to look at pictures of girls (not naked just normal pictures) to see if I was attracted to them in a way that I would be considered a lesbian, but I stopped myself. I’m going to allow these thoughts to sit and make me upset. I’m not anxious but I think that’s just because I’m getting over the thoughts. I’m not going to look through this app and try to find reassurance I’m going to make sure I don’t make myself feel better. I’m home alone right now so my thoughts are wondering, I’m thinking a lot. I’m going to play games to kind of separate my thoughts, and make myself feel calm. Games have always been a big part of my life, I love games so that will bring me joy. I wanted to post this just so I could show myself that I can get through hard times, and hopefully this will help someone else!
First time posting and just feel like sharing my experience with OCD because apart from my boyfriend no one in my life really knows I deal with this! From the youngest age I can remember having this horrible feeling of just uncomfortableness that would come and go and I'd label it like 'oh here's that really uneasy uncomfortable feeling again' but never really knew what it was. I can always remember having occasional distressing thoughts about never seeing my family again and feeling compelled to carry out 'neutralising' actions to feel calm. The first biggest/long lasting obsession that I can remember was being about 10/11 yrs old and panicking about whether I was a lesbian or not, I used to spend my evenings Internet searching, googling checklists, quizzes or 'characteristics' of lesbians ( All of which I know now are really stupid and based on stereotypes, but I was young so), interestingly this obsession went away as I reached the age of about 14, because as I developed my own opinions of the world, I had mates that were gay and I sort of decided that didn't really care if I was a gay or not, I just accepted the uncertainty of the obsession, so the obsession became less frightening (easier said than done tho right!!!!). But then I just began to develop other obsessions about family members being harmed, when they didnt text back, worrying abt if my mom had been hurt at work and feeling the need to ring my dad after school purely because id invented this situation in my head of my dad not coming home. I still have this obsession now, but I'm almost 21 so it's a bit embarrassing calling ur mom up making up some excuse about why you're ringing but infact you're panicking about her welfare. When I got my first boyfriend at 17, we arranged our 2nd date weeks ahead and I cancelled the night before because I had convinced myself he was going to hurt me. By 17 I had developed alot of obsessions about my loved ones being harmed; my boyfriend lives an hour away from me and he used to get public transport home late at night from mine, I used send him with strict instructions to text me often hahahaha, he'd text but I'd still have that awful feeling so I used to walk round in circles on my rug in bedroom a certain amount of times until I knew he was safe. I then developed severe relationship OCD where I'd get intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend cheating on me/finding someone else, I would constantly ask for reassurance, it would provide temporary relief from my anxiety and then the obsession would return (Ive learnt first hand how reassurance is literally your own worst enemy when it comes to OCD). I had no idea I had pure O until this year. 20 years of my life with this and I always thought my behaviour was normal and what everyone else did, even tho I'd spend my time carrying out compulsions constantly like asking for reassuarance or retracing things with my eyes a certain amount of times, picking my skin excissively (dermatilliomania - can't spell lol) and saying phrases over and over in my head. BUT I still had no idea it was ocd? This was definitely due to the stigma of OCD and never knowing it's actually what I've had all my life. I still have obsessions now obviously, mostly harm OCD but I'm lucky, I feel like I've made massive progress already and there's some great things I've learnt - seriously if anyone ever ever wants to know or talk! Not here to provide reassurance just a listening ear and maybe give some support/ points on what's helped me so far! THANK U for listening!!!! :-) hope u all have a nice day
Is there anyone who has beat or is close to overcoming their OCD and do you have tips on how to beat it?
What should I do?? ?? I keep thinking “I should smash this jar on my cats head” and the urge is so strong. But obviously I don’t really want to. It’s making me feel physically sick. I usually just end up screaming into a pillow. But NOTHING makes the thoughts disappear except when I reach the point of exhaustion by crying for hours and end up just sitting in my bed feeling numb. Unable to think at all. Is this going to be my life forever?
Any other females here have sexual orientation theme ocd not feel like a woman anymore? . I feel so unpretty and depressed
Does anyone else with Contamination OCD have a problem with bathrooms in general? Most of my more bothersome routines are bathroom related (hand washing, showers, and wiping) and it makes it hard to talk about my OCD with anyone, just from the fear of embarrassment. I still would like to find support, but I haven’t met anyone with similar issues to mine. Any pointers etc would be appreciated!
Plz I need ANSWERS GUYS WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF THE THOUGHT DOESNT BOTHER ME ANYMORE I RLLY DONT THINK ITS “RECOVERING” BC U CANT RECOVER JUST IN SECONDS U HAVE TO DO ERP THERAPY IM DO CONFUSED HELP
idk how to explain this but i’ll try the best i can lol: ok so one night i was in bed and scrolling through this app and focusing on not doing compulsions for my HOCD (hearing other ppls stories can trigger me sometimes so i use them as exposures). anyway i read a post about someone who had HOCD & TransOCD. i thought “poor guy, that must be really hard”. then of course i thought “am i trans?” but i didn’t even worry about it because it’s one of those things that just isn’t something i need to worry about you know? it almost seems silly to worry about haha. anyway, the thought didn’t give me anxiety—almost at all (because for me it’s just a no brainer). then i started to get all worried about getting TransOCD, even if i really wasn’t fearful about becoming trans. so basically, i know i’m not trans, i’m not questioning who i am, and the thought of being trans doesn’t really make me nervous or afraid (because i just know it’s not true)—i’m just worried that this will turn into another OCD type...and THAT is what i’m obsessing on. how do i help that???
How do I even know that this is ocd anymore ? I’m so confused and sad . This is not what I wanted in life
After reading a lot of comment I’m starting to feel like ocd is just ocd there are no limits or themes u can be ocd about any thought...and I think I’m right bc u all know people with ocd have an imbalance in the serotonin in the brain or something like that I’m not sure,so if u have imbalance in ur braind doesn’t mean u have to have hocd,pocd,rocd the brain doesn’t control that thing so that’s why,I guess
Any one manage to reduce over washing hands or long showers? What did you do to wash less? Especially during days you feel contaminated.
I do really feel like personifying my OCD really helped relieve a lot of the anxiety. That and finding a community of people who are having similar thoughts! Being able to take a step back and name a thought as OCD helped me so much. The anxiety is there as MUCH as it was along with the thoughts but knowing that they’re not MY thoughts helped me with direction on where to go from there. I can now get a thought and tell myself it’s ocd because I know it is even when I’m doubting it. I can say to myself even when I’m doubting the ocd that it’s called the doubting disorder for a reason and feel better. I grew up always feeling ~different~ because of my thoughts but never knew they were ocd related and knowing that felt like putting the last piece of a 600 piece puzzle in its place. It helped me put a name to my problems and be like “wow, that explains sooo much” like honestly a weight has been lifted. For that reason,I know I can get through this gross and horrifying disorder.
Hey y’all, glad to be here!
Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)
Hey I was wondering, for false memory OCD, does anyone here get it and is there usually little to no evidence of what the person thinks happened?
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