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working to conquer OCD
But - I feel worried that if someone finds out stuff Iāve done (as a little kid) in the past or what my ocd theme was that theyād all hate me and think Iām a pedo:/ Iām worried that theyāll find out and be angry or think that I lied to them when I hate pedos and sometimes joke about them - when Iām obviously a normal to person to them I feel like theyāll be betrayed if they find out
I canāt figure out if Iām really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think Iām seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.
So Iām new here so just let me know if I say or do anything wrong. Iām nervous to share this because itās been terrible thinking this way and I always thought something was wrong with me. Iām constantly thinking Iāll do sexual harm towards someone so I isolate myself and I make sure to NEVER watch kids with just me. I feel like a sick sick person who deserves to die for thinking and feeling this way. My thoughts make me think sexually about anyone in the room no matter how hard I try to think of something, anything, else. It is horrible. Is there anyone else who experiences this or someone who can give advice?
Hi does anyone else deal with bladder issues or overactive bladder? Ive been crying cause I have flare ups where their so bad that I have constant pressure, even after I pee. I told my doctor and ran all these tests and even tried a device for neveres to see if that would help (it didnāt). Iām trying a new Med but does anyone have that issues even after you pee you have pressure on your bladder from you breathe, move and ir gets worse until you really have to pee.
Does anyone find it impossible to be in a relationship? Iāve been single for nineteen years. There have been opportunities with women I have found attractive but I always back out because I feel like they arenāt the one or that we would argue or that there would be some bad outcome or I would be trapped with them and someone better would come along. Cold feet I suppose youād say. I thought it might be PTSD because of some abuse I suffered in the past but after reading another post about it I got thinking. Let me know your experiences no matter how irrelevant. Tx.
My medication caused me POCD and iām a nanny and iām terrified of one thing happening that keeps entering my brain. Since it is one thing over and over again does that make it not ocd? Iām so scared and donāt know if I deserve to be here
it's second semester of my second year of college and i'm already skipping classes like crazy. it's so bad because a lot of my teachers this year do not take attendance, which just makes me not want to go at all. but i feel even if they did i wouldn't go this semester because i've just been so a mess. i also haven't been doing any of my coursework so right now i'm just nervous. my parents said i better do good this semester because i have a scholarship as well and will lose it if my GPA is below 3. but i just feel like because of me i have bigger things right now to worry about other than school but my family wouldn't understand how bad it is right now. i tell them but i cannot talk about it with them in a way they will understand. plus i do not discuss the content of my intrusive thoughts that i have with anybody at all because i'm just so terrified of myself and hate myself right now
I have been involved in religion my whole life. My religious community is caring, supportive and patient. Nevertheless I feel anxiety when faced with the thought or idea that it is all based on a lie or human invention. At these times the only thing I can think about to get relief from the anxiety is leaving. I go to services even though I know these will compound these feelings. Is there a way to address the doubts and uncertainty in a healthy way without feeding the beast?
Will life go back to the way it was after I recover from ocd?
My partner proves to me each day how much he loves me. He is kind, patient, and most importantly present. Even so, I obsess over the small flaws and convince myself he isnāt good or he is a āliar.ā Itās almost as if i self sabotage and will believe the fears in my head to the point where I am obsessing that he isnāt the one. The constant theme was planted in my head when his EX 2.5 years ago called him a Narcissist because he no longer wanted to be with her. Now every time something isnāt perfect i obsess over that term and convince myself he is a bad person over very minor things. please help me. i love him and he sticks by my side even when iām in an obsession. I have shared these thoughts with him and he will sit there and go through the characteristics of a āNarcissistā and will logically help me see that he doesnāt fit that description to help me cope. He is good. I just want to be happy with him rather, him being my theme. My ocd attacks all things I love the most.
The good news is that we can tolerate these 'difficult' feelings- we may not enjoy them but they are manageable. I have never ever heard anyone say to me that they LOVE anxiety- but they can get through it and they don't need to 'do' anything to get rid of the feelings when they have OCD- the feelings will pass on their own. You can do this.
i got this app because i have order and symmetry ocd, but after reading the descriptions, i relate some of the other types of ocd, and canāt tell if i have that as well. all the time i notice that i āmessā with my eyelashes- i donāt pull them out or anything, but i kind of bend them in a way that feels ājust right,ā but it generally goes on for minutes or hours because i physically canāt get myself to stop because it doesnāt feel just right. is that maybe perfectionism ocd? iāve noticed recently too that when i remember old memories, like ones 10+ years ago, i wonder if theyāre really real or if theyāre just a fake occurrence that i made up. i especially think this when i remember some of my earliest memories, like from being a toddler, and i feel like thereās no way i can prove theyāre real. is that false memory? (ofc this isnāt a professional diagnosis, but itās be nice to hear from other people who do have it to give insight)
In the beginning of this, I started having moments of clarity where I knew my obsession was ridiculous and untrue. I even remember saying given my past it's nothing to worry about. Then when it started going on longer I started losing more hope it was giving me thoughts of liking it and I started getting those moments of clarity less and less until I stopped getting them completely. I started doubting my past. When I tried to recover the first time, I still felt like I believed the thoughts. Then of course it attacked my past randomly one day in high anxiety and I got a third false memory. I got maybe 2 moments of clarity then. But ever since it's been like 0 moments of clarity, stuck believing it. Basically my question is, when you start believing your OCD theme or start doubting your past bc OCD does, can the moments of clarity and the attraction to the opposite sex go away completely?
Iām a trans man, Iāve been on testosterone for over two years and Iām post-op top surgery. Iāve rarely ever had doubts about being a man ever since coming out but the other day my intrusive thoughts have just been horrendous and Iāve been really struggling. Iām constantly questioning things like what If Iām not really a guy and what if I actually am a girl. I havenāt really had any gender dysphoria in awhile so Iām questioning like what if Iām not really trans? And what if I donāt actually see myself as a man? Logically Iām trying to tell myself itās just ocd but then itās like what if itās not my ocd and what if youāre not actually trans and what if youāve been lying to yourself. Iāve never dealt with this before and been really really struggling with it.
Does anyone else worry and going to sleep so much that it's hard to go to sleep and stay asleep. Or how does ocd affect yalls sleep. I just found out that I had it after years of battling thought about my health and other things in my life now I'm obsessing over sleep.what makes it worse is when I have a clear mind after distracting myself I revert back to the slave mind and it feels again like a weight is in my mind.
Hey everyone. This is my first post here and itās probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and thatās it. Well, Iāve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasnāt aware this was OCD). Iāve definitely felt it more recently, but I know itās always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didnāt know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think Iāve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess Iām saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. Iāve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I donāt think they really understand the amount itās affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say āI Need Helpā. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she canāt work with me anymore and Iām not sure when Iāll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months Iāve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I canāt. I find thatās my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe thatās why the people around me donāt feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about whatās the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I donāt do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesnāt feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically itās just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like Iām some where else all the time. And Iāve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. Iām also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like itās all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. Iām so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like Iām stuck here. I canāt make decisions, Iām never present, I canāt make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I canāt just be without questioning everything and Iām constantly in my head. Iāve also started getting high all the time because I feel like itās the only way to escape my brain but Iāve felt like itās getting out of hand. Iām starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when itās OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder thatās weighing down my life and energy?
Dont be too harsh to yourself. Your struggle with ocd doesnt define your personality. And healing is a process so stay patient.
I am barely able to keep on living. I can barely get to bed without hours of washing. I can barely get through a shower. I know I should probably head to a hospital but my last time in one left me feeling extremely misunderstood and traumatized. I really need another option than meds or therapy. My anxiety is simply too intense and worsens far too quickly for me to do therapy. I have tried to start therapy a few times the last couple of years and have only been told I am not in the right place to do so. I really need a way to lessen my anxiety. I'm considering anything from surgery to stimulation. I did find a story of a person similar to me getting better with Focused Ultrasound but that was with a trial that seems to be over.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
