Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Has anyone been stuck in one theme for over a year?I currently have been stuck in the same thought of losing my partner for over a year

Is anyone else a teacher with pocd? I taught High School for 5 years. I left, but now I need the consistent income again- tried real estate, but I just wasn’t making enough yet. I am now faced with an opportunity of returning to the classroom to teach, but my ocd is spiraling.

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff throughout the ages of 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

But - I feel worried that if someone finds out stuff I’ve done (as a little kid) in the past or what my ocd theme was that they’d all hate me and think I’m a pedo:/ I’m worried that they’ll find out and be angry or think that I lied to them when I hate pedos and sometimes joke about them - when I’m obviously a normal to person to them I feel like they’ll be betrayed if they find out

I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.

So I’m new here so just let me know if I say or do anything wrong. I’m nervous to share this because it’s been terrible thinking this way and I always thought something was wrong with me. I’m constantly thinking I’ll do sexual harm towards someone so I isolate myself and I make sure to NEVER watch kids with just me. I feel like a sick sick person who deserves to die for thinking and feeling this way. My thoughts make me think sexually about anyone in the room no matter how hard I try to think of something, anything, else. It is horrible. Is there anyone else who experiences this or someone who can give advice?

Is there anyone out there that is a mom with harmmocd if so message me I’ve been struggling for years 😭🫶🏽

Hi does anyone else deal with bladder issues or overactive bladder? Ive been crying cause I have flare ups where their so bad that I have constant pressure, even after I pee. I told my doctor and ran all these tests and even tried a device for neveres to see if that would help (it didn’t). I’m trying a new Med but does anyone have that issues even after you pee you have pressure on your bladder from you breathe, move and ir gets worse until you really have to pee.

Does anyone find it impossible to be in a relationship? I’ve been single for nineteen years. There have been opportunities with women I have found attractive but I always back out because I feel like they aren’t the one or that we would argue or that there would be some bad outcome or I would be trapped with them and someone better would come along. Cold feet I suppose you’d say. I thought it might be PTSD because of some abuse I suffered in the past but after reading another post about it I got thinking. Let me know your experiences no matter how irrelevant. Tx.

My medication caused me POCD and i’m a nanny and i’m terrified of one thing happening that keeps entering my brain. Since it is one thing over and over again does that make it not ocd? I’m so scared and don’t know if I deserve to be here

it's second semester of my second year of college and i'm already skipping classes like crazy. it's so bad because a lot of my teachers this year do not take attendance, which just makes me not want to go at all. but i feel even if they did i wouldn't go this semester because i've just been so a mess. i also haven't been doing any of my coursework so right now i'm just nervous. my parents said i better do good this semester because i have a scholarship as well and will lose it if my GPA is below 3. but i just feel like because of me i have bigger things right now to worry about other than school but my family wouldn't understand how bad it is right now. i tell them but i cannot talk about it with them in a way they will understand. plus i do not discuss the content of my intrusive thoughts that i have with anybody at all because i'm just so terrified of myself and hate myself right now

I have been involved in religion my whole life. My religious community is caring, supportive and patient. Nevertheless I feel anxiety when faced with the thought or idea that it is all based on a lie or human invention. At these times the only thing I can think about to get relief from the anxiety is leaving. I go to services even though I know these will compound these feelings. Is there a way to address the doubts and uncertainty in a healthy way without feeding the beast?

Will life go back to the way it was after I recover from ocd?

My partner proves to me each day how much he loves me. He is kind, patient, and most importantly present. Even so, I obsess over the small flaws and convince myself he isn’t good or he is a “liar.” It’s almost as if i self sabotage and will believe the fears in my head to the point where I am obsessing that he isn’t the one. The constant theme was planted in my head when his EX 2.5 years ago called him a Narcissist because he no longer wanted to be with her. Now every time something isn’t perfect i obsess over that term and convince myself he is a bad person over very minor things. please help me. i love him and he sticks by my side even when i’m in an obsession. I have shared these thoughts with him and he will sit there and go through the characteristics of a “Narcissist” and will logically help me see that he doesn’t fit that description to help me cope. He is good. I just want to be happy with him rather, him being my theme. My ocd attacks all things I love the most.

The good news is that we can tolerate these 'difficult' feelings- we may not enjoy them but they are manageable. I have never ever heard anyone say to me that they LOVE anxiety- but they can get through it and they don't need to 'do' anything to get rid of the feelings when they have OCD- the feelings will pass on their own. You can do this.

i got this app because i have order and symmetry ocd, but after reading the descriptions, i relate some of the other types of ocd, and can’t tell if i have that as well. all the time i notice that i “mess” with my eyelashes- i don’t pull them out or anything, but i kind of bend them in a way that feels “just right,” but it generally goes on for minutes or hours because i physically can’t get myself to stop because it doesn’t feel just right. is that maybe perfectionism ocd? i’ve noticed recently too that when i remember old memories, like ones 10+ years ago, i wonder if they’re really real or if they’re just a fake occurrence that i made up. i especially think this when i remember some of my earliest memories, like from being a toddler, and i feel like there’s no way i can prove they’re real. is that false memory? (ofc this isn’t a professional diagnosis, but it’s be nice to hear from other people who do have it to give insight)

In the beginning of this, I started having moments of clarity where I knew my obsession was ridiculous and untrue. I even remember saying given my past it's nothing to worry about. Then when it started going on longer I started losing more hope it was giving me thoughts of liking it and I started getting those moments of clarity less and less until I stopped getting them completely. I started doubting my past. When I tried to recover the first time, I still felt like I believed the thoughts. Then of course it attacked my past randomly one day in high anxiety and I got a third false memory. I got maybe 2 moments of clarity then. But ever since it's been like 0 moments of clarity, stuck believing it. Basically my question is, when you start believing your OCD theme or start doubting your past bc OCD does, can the moments of clarity and the attraction to the opposite sex go away completely?

I’m a trans man, I’ve been on testosterone for over two years and I’m post-op top surgery. I’ve rarely ever had doubts about being a man ever since coming out but the other day my intrusive thoughts have just been horrendous and I’ve been really struggling. I’m constantly questioning things like what If I’m not really a guy and what if I actually am a girl. I haven’t really had any gender dysphoria in awhile so I’m questioning like what if I’m not really trans? And what if I don’t actually see myself as a man? Logically I’m trying to tell myself it’s just ocd but then it’s like what if it’s not my ocd and what if you’re not actually trans and what if you’ve been lying to yourself. I’ve never dealt with this before and been really really struggling with it.

Does anyone else worry and going to sleep so much that it's hard to go to sleep and stay asleep. Or how does ocd affect yalls sleep. I just found out that I had it after years of battling thought about my health and other things in my life now I'm obsessing over sleep.what makes it worse is when I have a clear mind after distracting myself I revert back to the slave mind and it feels again like a weight is in my mind.

Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?