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the NOCD Community

My gene pools trash. Bipolar, ocd, anxiety, general depression, schizophrenia, a little cancer, manic depression pretty much you name it and it most likely runs in my immediate family. I have so many thoughts and have yet to pin point what’s wrong. So far I’ll I’ve gotten from my psychiatrist is anxiety and depression. I stopped therapy for a while and I have no one else to I guess tell this to so yeah.

Why does this feel so real?

I am very new to dealing with my OCD. I mentioned in an earlier topic that there is a word that bothers me. If it is said around me I have to shower and wash all my clothes. And those clothes are forever contaminated. It started with one shirt and since I started with that it has grown to more and more things being contaminated. What would my at home treatment for this be? What would the exposure be? The word I guess but how do I work on it and not feel like all my clothes are ruined?

can OCD develop later on in life?? i’m 17 and have always had rlly bad anxiety and i guess i’ve always known i had a little bit of OCD (since anxiety and ocd are closely related) but the OCD part of it has never been this bad. i would always worry, get reassurance from wherever i could, and that would kinda be the end of it. it’s never ever been like this before or hit me like this before. it’s almost like my anxiety has somehow turned into OCD throughout the years. is that possible?? can OCD develop or at least become way more noticeable later in life?

*me preparing to share with loved ones or friends about my mental illness* *taking a deep breath and being brave* me: “So... I wanted to share something deep with you. I have recently been struggling with OCD.” them: “OH MY GOD ME TOO!!!! I hAtE iT wHeN tHiNgS aRe NoT cLeAn!!!!!!!!!”

how do I tell my family I have ocd?? . I'm 20, I see them pretty much everyday and it puts a strain on my relationships with them because they have no clue what's going on with me. My mom (amazing mom but... ) can come across cold it's just her personality, she's had a hard life from many external factors and so she doesn't really understand mental illness and how someone can be 'unhappy' when they have a comfortable life. I come from a family of very very strong women and if I told them I feel like they'd just think it was an excuse/attention seeking. They're supportive people but not very understanding in mental health. I already feel very different to my family just based on my personality/values/view of life - this could potentially make me even more of a distance from them no??? how do I even tell someone I have ocd do I just say it???? pls and insight any1 can give soooooooo appreciated thank you

I had an intrusive image and got a groinal response... back to square one ?

I have seen some answer to worried people in SOOCD and HOCD posts like: "Just be yourself!" "If you feel so convinced then you are!" "There is a lot of sexualities out there that you can choose." Is okay to not give reassurance. Is not okay to trigger people that is asking for help.

I’ve had HOCD for nearly 2 years now. For the last few months I had a pretty good handle on it. But last week it totally came back!... Except this time I am totally convinced it is real same-sex attraction and desires. This is terrible... one minute I was straight and the next, bi or gay. Like I just turned magically right like that. I don’t know if it’s real or not, because how could it be? How can you turn from straight to something else? And the worst thing is, the attraction was toward my good friend, with whom I’m rooming next year at college for freshman year! Sorry if I seem obnoxious. I cannot live like this

I’m new here. I have dealt with different themes of obsessions but lately I have been worried about hurting my kids or spouse or someone around me. Ive had extremely distressing time for the past two weeks and feels like all I think about. I’ve never had this before and it’s so scary. I don’t want anything to happen to them. I fear losing control. They just switched me from Lexapro to Effexor so I’m dealing with the physical as well. Anyone overcome this?

I'm writing this again. Because my post just got marked as spam. My ocd clinic told me to expose myself with all of my intrusive thoughts. Let's all fucking do it and let all these gross vile scary horrible thoughts out under this post. Guys, help me out with my exposure therapy! Let's write our intrusive thoughts on this post. Eg, I want the devil to possess my mum. I want the devil to possess my nephew. I want the devil to possess me. Help me out guys! Write yours on here. I want to be sexual with inappropriate person. The more disturbing your thoughts are, the more likely I am to write all of mine under here too. And if you mark this as spam, it's only making my exposure better, and making yours worse. Because you've basically told me my thoughts are wrong even tho I want to be reassured that they're just thoughts. Let's be brave. Come on.

A reminder to HOCD sufferers who keep “testing” their sexuality: “A 2015 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology undermines long held beliefs about heteronormative sexual orientation. The study looks at gender expression in women and measures their physiological response viewing a variety of pornographic material. It found that, regardless of how women self report their sexuality, their bodies respond positively to both hetero- and homosexual sex. Meaning, women's sexuality is complex and not within the bounds of strict hetero- or homosexuality.” https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ypa7vk/straight-people-dont-exist-new-research-says

I keep feeling like I’m letting god down Bc I’m dating an agnostic person but he’ll pray with me and he says maybe one day he’ll become a Christian and he’s offered to go to church with me. I keep feeling like “god wants me to leave” but idk if it’s my ocd. Any tips ?

How do you guys cope with uncertainty? Today I was on my phone and then my sister came into my room, and as soon as I saw her I got an intrusive thought and got tense. I don’t want reassurance, I would just like advice on how to reduce the intensity of the thoughts, as we all know we can’t get rid of them

Has anyone else ever had an extreme fear of medication and if so how did you overcome it? I’ve been prescribed Clonazepam, Lorazepam, Xanax, all the things for my anxiety to use as needed but I never take any of them due to the potential horrendous side effects I’ve read. I have this irrational fear that taking the med will cause me to become more anxious, or like black out or lose control or something ridiculous. I know it’s an irrational fear and that the point of them is to help, but I just always scare myself with a google search. My anxiety has been getting a million times better with meditation, mindfulness, CBT and ACT therapy but sometimes it would be nice to reset the sleep schedule with one of the meds I’m prescribed. I even now fear taking hydroxizine which is nothing more than a strong antihistamine but I read one bad article about it. Tips?

Hi guys, I’m new to NOCD, just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to cope better than I am at the moment. I’m 21, and I’ve been struggling with OCD for 6 years or so, but I’ve only been diagnosed for a little over a year. I’ve completely smashed the prerequisite score for diagnoses but I constantly feel like I’m making negligible progress. I have been having CBT for 10+ weeks (I lost count) and I have learnt to manage the checks and “physical” aspect of OCD, but the Intrusive Thoughts have multiplied so badly that I cannot perform simple actions without a mental battle. I have considered medication but it is not something I want to pursue unless absolutely a help from others’ experience (luckily I get free prescriptions and healthcare from the NHS, so cost isn’t a factor). How does anyone cope? Is there any experiences that have made anyone laugh? Sometimes I get so worked up that I can’t take myself seriously ? but I just want to know how other people feel since I do feel like nobody really understands what it is like, and just tell me to “not do it” which isn’t really any help! Thanks ?

I feel like I’m always letting my therapist down , but I just feel so cornered when she wants me to go to group sessions ...

So, my relationship ended (not only because of ROCD but also because of real problems). We were long distance and it's been almost 1year without seeing each other. It got tough and I was so frustrated and started to feel as tough it was not as important to him as it is to me (even he saying it's not true, I kind of started to feel him more distant and our relationship was less intense and lacked the synchronicity it once had). I constantly talked about the importance of good communication and said it was lacking on our relationship and we should work on it, but I didn't receive good feedback (no attitude, just a "yeah"). He was working A LOT and we had no time to talk (only at night and he only called me when i asked). So I started to see him putting less effort while I was giving a lot and receiving little. The resentment came and I was tired and bitter the last two days before we broke up. Our relationship was already fragile by the ROCD which theme for a while was "he doesn't love me" and we were still working (at least I was), so when I said we needed to talk and sort things out once and for all, I said I felt as if I was carrying all the relationship on my shoulders and it was draining me, and he felt offended saying that's not true and he's tired and out of patience and we better break up then. I was shocked that the first suggestion he gave was that we should break up, so I think he already wanted that maybe. He said it was hurting him and he didn't want that anymore because I don't acknowledge his effort while he's working a lot and etc. The point is, if he wanted to work on the communication and the relationship itself, wouldn't he make a space to start a conversation about the relationship instead of me being the first to do it every time? I suggested we worked on it, but he didn't want to because he said "we already did that and it's always the same after a while". I felt he was just being pessimistic and didn't want to do the work anymore so he escaped. I said I can't be in a relationship alone, so that's all I could do. I feel some guilt now because my mind keeps telling me I should be more understanding and if I expressed in another way we'd still succeed. But I know it was more than that, and I'm trying to let go of it (all the plans, all the good moments and how sweet he used to treat me). How to get over it?? Sorry for the long text, I'd just really appreciate some of your words on this.

I have an obsessive thought about jumping off a balcony and killing myself, also a similar thought of hanging myself with a belt i own. Can someone explain how I should do ERP for this specifically?

Don’t feel like getting out of bed today because of all the ocd contaminated related things surrounding me. I need to return things back to three different stores because they are contaminated . I want to buy them again but my wallet is contaminated so can’t use that to buy them. Today just seems like a massive struggle already and I have no food to cook at home because I can no longer use my kitchen. Does anyone else struggle to eat or drink things they fear are contamination. I’ve struggled for over 22 years and don’t know how to go about help. My gp has never understood the full extent and just prescribed me drugs.