Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Can constant looking in the past to check and fear you might of done something wrong make memories. I always have these images of things I fear and woke up today and had a horrible memory. It felt like I remembered it. I’m hoping it’s not.

I’m not a native speaker so sorry for my grammar … I’ve encountered a really frightening situation when I went to a public bathroom today. As always I took a paper towel so that I don’t have to open and shut the bathroom door with my bare hands. Then I recognised something on the toilet seat which I wiped away with that towel. After that, however, I saw that there was some kind of red spot on the seat as well - it was more on the inner edge so I didn’t see it before. Now I’m so afraid that I’ve touched it somehow. It was dry, I think … I left the toilet immediately after that … but felt so terrible ever since. Any of you also that scared of blood?

One of the biggest things I think we all have to gain in recovery is trust! Trust in yourself, your decisions, your relationships, your partner, your life, and trust in the universe! So many of the things we and everyone else worry about are questions that we will never get answered but it is comforting to know that you are where you are for a reason and sometimes when OCD is a bully all you can do is trust in YOURself. You have a choice and control over what you do, what you trust, and your life. You can’t control every detail but you can control what you let deter you (OCD) from what you want in your life!! Have a great weekend everyone, sending love and keep going strong! ♥️☀️🌊

Does anyone struggle with opening up to God because of their OCD? My mom is a born again Christian and I recently started to go to her church with her. I was raised Catholic, but I was never really a practicing Catholic. Recently I have been so down in life and I feel like the only way out of this is through God. My mom said to me today that I have tried different treatments for many years and none have worked, but I still haven’t given God a real chance. I just feel fake if I’m going to God because of my problems. I think I’m afraid that if I open to God and don’t get better I will spiral even worse. I think my mind definitely can go down a path of magical thinking and I don’t want to think God is the answer and will solve all of my problems because I know that’s not realistic either. I just want to get better, but feel very conflicted. I have these fears because I have suffered from magical thinking for a long time. Sometimes it’s not so present in my life and sometimes it is very. It’s hard for me to tell when I’m not doing it and sometimes I’m aware if I am or not. For example I have been obsessing over a certain number lately. It’s been driving me insane. I’m afraid that God will think I’m not good enough to be helped.

Im a person who really cares about how he looks, and i like if girls notice me or find me attractive. I started to think that this is egoistic and sinful cause i do it to attract the girls attention on me. And i cant decide is it really a sin or its normal and God doesnt see this as a sin, its only a sin if you start to view yourself attractive then anyone. (People really misunderstand when you say you like to look attractive for others and they imediately assume you have attention problems, i got this from my therapist... no i just like to look good when i see myself in pics, plus it makes me feel really good if someone compliments me, who doesnt...)

I keep relapsing to pornography and I'm finding it really hard to stop now. I was looking for adult fictional characters and for some stupid reason cp popped up and I clicked out of there very fast. I kept trying to make my searches only this one character but other results of that horrible stuff came up and I just backed out quickly

If you've been following my prior posts, you know I've been missing work about 5 times this semester for health and mental health related problems. Two of those times I needed a mental break, three of those I had severe issues like ibs and mental fatigue. I haven't disclosed any of my diagnoses to my employer because I didn't want to get discriminated against, and now... they hit me with this this morning.... I feel like I did something bad and now my workplace is retaliating by cutting back my hours as a school aide. Instead, they're gonna have me be a yard duty for 2 weeks, with an entire week without a job.... I don't know what to do? I feel like I failed the school and child I was working with, and this is all my fault. Education is full of vindictive and non-compassionate people.

I keep seeing things on the side of my eye and when I look fast it’s nothing but a tree or a chair depending on where I’m at but my mind imagines it’s something worse like a person and when I look it’s not has anyone ever delt with this I have a huge fear of losing my mind I been very hyper aware of my vision lately and eye floaters I think about what if I see something all day constant state of panic please tell me I’m not hallucinating

My boyfriend and I got in a disagreement that triggered me to start having bad thoughts again and obviously couples argue. But in my head it's like " no couple should argue. Maybe it's not right" On top of that he's taking a trip back home for a week. & I keep thinking “ that’s too long. When he comes back you won’t like him anymore “

:( I’ve been having really loud thoughts in my head that almost feel like voices but I can’t tell if their intrusive thoughts or voices im really scared I don’t want my life to be over

What was it like when you got to know what you’re experiencing is OCD? especially those of us who thought OCD was just about excessive organisation or contamination? i specifically remember reading about different mental illnesses out of curiosity when i was 12 and reading about ocd, my reaction was “hm sounds weird i definitely don’t have it” and i moved on. When i was 15, and I googled about my intrusive thoughts and it showed me what i’m experiencing is ocd i was so shocked? *this* is ocd? I was so astound.

Hey everyone, How has your week been ? Is there anything you have achieved and feel proud to share ? Also, if you haven’t achieved something you was wanting, let’s hear about it also so we can all support you. With another weekend fast upon us, I realised how poor I’ve been with self care in recent weeks! The quote “you can’t poor from an empty cup” is so true and made me realised how important it is to take even 5 minutes out every now and then to recharge and connect with your self. It can be super hard to do this when battling with OCD I understand completely but it’s also super important we try as we are all worth it and use a lot of energy when anxious with OCD. I can remember when I was really struggling at the start of my journey, I would try to doodle as I loved this, it helped and allowed me to also reflect how strong I can be and have been before as well as taking some time out. Your all worth it, important, kind and amazing. Take some time out this weekend for yourselves. 🙂

I haven’t been sleeping most recently and this triggers my dissociation and like five minutes ago I went downstairs to make water and I hear somebody outside and there’s this guy just on his phone talking in my brain made up a whole bunch of bad thoughts like he was gonna steal my dog that was out there and stuff like that so I came upstairs and got dressed and try to go out there and the guy was an out there anymore and I convince me I was schizophrenic and I’ve never been so terrified I feel so bad right now , nothing feels real I’m crying in my bed alone

I think that’s what it is .. I’ve been through a lot with relationships .. I’ve never had good luck with them .. after taking two years off of dating and not wanting to date except hook up or have fun i meet a woman who wanted the same ..well we happened to like eachother alot and get into a relationship.. she ends up being amazing and super supportive of my and mental issues. One moment I’m secure and confident and then the next after three months together start my normal ocd process of questioning if I wanna be here if she’s the one if I love her or if there’s someone else .. it’s really annoying even though I know I really don’t wanna leave but I still obsess about it.. we’ll now I’m in the headspace of doubting she loves me or maybe she’s tired of me already even though nothing different has changed .. I don’t want reassurance and to nag about if she loves me .. when I thought about this stuff a couple weeks ago I asked and she told me flat out she loves and cares about me and thinks I’m amazing .. that thought of wondering if she loves me then turned around again to me thinking what if I don’t love her or wanna be here ? Lmfao is that relationship ocd or am I just really damaged .

I’ve now been experiencing ocd symptoms for 3 months and they have slowly gotten less grip on my life. Is it bad for my ocd if I smoke weed, I’ve noticed it almost gets rid of my symptoms after I smoke it. I only smoke it on the weekends to wind down after a stressful week and to give me a break from the ocd stress. But was just wondering if this will effect my recovery?

Hi everyone, I just have a quick question. Can intrusive thoughts latch onto actual people. I notice when I don’t engage in my usual themed obsessions I get new on (with the same theme) but different people. It’s out of the blue too, and that’s why I think I react so much. How can I respond to these thoughts?

I am currently talking to a girl, and her friend set me up with her. I feel like a genuine attraction to her, but the problem is I haven't met her in person. I am meeting her tomorrow, and I am very nervous. Like what if I'm leading her on? What if I don't want to date her? I don't wanna lead her on. I've only seen pictures, and she is very beautiful, but it's like what if I don't find her attractive in person? Idk. And on top of that, my HOCD is bothering me constantly. And then I feel bad for thinking other girls are pretty, because even though we are just talking, I feel like my connection with her is like a boyfriend, and I feel like looking at other women is wrong. She's an amazing person, and I just don't wanna hurt her or lead her on. It's so frustrating because I don't know how I actually feel about her. I also tend to move fast, and I don't wanna scare her away. She is just so sweet and amazing, and beautiful, and I just feel like I am leading her on. I really don't want to. Idk. I'm not sure if it's just because I'm nervous about meeting her or what, but I'm scared.

Putting a TW here because this has distressing themes. A while ago there was an event (false memory/harm/pedophilic obsessions) where I was changing a diaper of a kid at work and I was upset because he was misbehaving a lot. I don’t even remember what happened but I just have general fears about if I wanted to hurt him or if I did hurt him in a sexual way. I have not felt joy in 2 months after this. But I don’t even know if anything happened, it’s just the possibility that it did even. And I haven’t been able to live my life with any happiness in so long. I don’t even necessarily know if I should call it traumatic because I don’t want to give reality to the idea that something could have happened if it didn’t. Like can something be traumatic if something didn’t even happen? And I’ve spent these last 2 months trying to figure things out and see if I can feel joy again. But I really feel stuck and scared that there’s not a lot of hope here. Any help is really appreciated, thank you❤️

Sorry I’ve been asking non stop questions this week. Sometimes I can’t explain it just something in my body will tell me this is all real and I can’t really tell you what I mean because even I don’t know. I sometimes won’t even have an intrusive thought sometimes I can just wake up and feel as if this has all been true. Can someone help me with this or give some advice because this is the part of it all that kills me

I tried to get better but still have intrusive thoughts, which feel real. But I'm not more anxious than before but get a little panicked. My brain feels like "normal". Idk what to do