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working to conquer OCD
I go back and forth wondering if my anxiety and fear is coming from the Lord to try and get my attention. I'm in a healthy and loving relationship that is Christ centered. It doesn't make sense why I'm having such anxiety about moving forward in my relationship. I've read articles that say God doesn't give anxiety but instead peace. I've read that He doesnt want us to be anxious. But then I read the story about Samuel and Eli and how God caused unrest for Samuel to get his attention. I'm so afraid that God wants me to break up with my bf, but it isn't clear. My anxiety doesn't make sense. I am feeling so physically sick today.
I hate this disease. It’s robbed me of every ounce of happiness. I am scared to go near my daughter. I want to cry all the time. Please make it stop. How am I gonna go on like this. My baby!
Hi everyone! My first post here 🤗 I'm so glad finding this app, and this community. It's devestating that so many people suffer from OCD, but it gives me hope that a community like this exist and that people share their stories how they feel and so on. Thank y'all! 🙏 So now on to my question: Some of the comments and posts that I've read here is about problem-solving. Example: I had a intrusive thought about that my boyfriend isn't the one for me, and that maybe I'm not in love with him " for real". If I start to solve that thought like a real problem - for example by checking all the ways he is right for me, or maybe start to go back to memories where I actually felt I love - then that can count as a compulsion? Am I right or wrong here? Just need to figure out if my tendency to "solve" the "problem" could be a cumpulsion!
My yellow lab of 14 years passed away last night at midnight. It was she and I. I am completely heartbroken and feel that feeling of I don’t know how to live without you. Why does OCD decide to join the party now?? 🙄🙄 Pic of my beautiful Savannah girl. 💔
Okay so I was getting food after playing a game with some friends and I know that fighting or arguing against the intrusive thoughts makes it worse or can strengthen the frequency and intensity of the thoughts. I sort of fell into that loop and I keep getting the intrusive thoughts and it made me sort of panic because I started getting thoughts that made it seem like I did want to let's say do the deed but you know what it is. It started making me question whether or not it's something I wanted started filling me with doubt more and at no point did I ever see the idea as attractive but I started getting this sinking feeling in my gut sort of an existential sort of dread feeling and it made me almost like clasp my chest in fear. I might think that this is starting to get a bit out of hand cuz it's starting to affect me at a bigger level. Like I want to go hang out with my friends right now that are currently in the chat room and I want to go play this game with them but this keeps gnawing at my head like it's something I want to do but I keep fighting against it. Even that this sort of bigger level would you still say it's anxiety? Cuz it's starting to feel pretty real. Basically I know I don't want to do anything I haven't planned anything and I haven't set out to do anything at all if anything I've showed that I don't want to do anything and do the exact opposite but it seems to be just hitting harder and it almost seems like it's trying to convince me that it's a good idea But my true intentions fight back against it saying no I don't want to do that. One thing that really did affect me or one that hit me really hard in the gut was a thought that said you don't care about any of the things that you're doing or fulfilling responsibilities in life like your bank account or your job you don't care about any of that stuff just do it. And I'm like no I do care about my job and I do care about like the responsibilities that I've come to do in life knowing that they're important I don't want to do anything and it made it hard for me to even speak the words cuz I'm having trouble saying anything cuz I'm getting so anxious. I don't really think I'm in any danger of doing anything because I don't think I'm in that sort of mindset or anything but my thoughts are trying to make me think I am and they are getting pretty distressing.
I haven't read anything about it on this community but has any cisgender woman or cisgender man on here dealing with TOCD has immense anxiety thinking they might be non-binary-woman / non-binary man? It's extremely scary for me and has been messing with my brain. The thought of being a trans-man makes me tremble almost with discomfort, but when my brain tries to imagine what it'd be if I was a non-binary woman it doesn't feel that extreme. And that makes me want to throw up with fear. What does this mean? Has anyone been dealing with this?
I’m 16 years old am I’ve been struggling with ocd my entire life. It started off with compulsive hand washing and touching things until it felt right. I remember being only a few years old with compulsions. When I was 13 the pure ocd kicked in HARD. It was hard for me to do basic everyday things even writing. I went to the doctor and she signed a note for school giving me some extra time to finish tests although I only used it for one semester and haven’t really touched it in 2 years. I talked about my ocd and she immediately shut me down, she said “why are we even talking about this?” Verbatim. It really broke me because I felt like no matter what I would be judged for my compulsions. I know people with ocd tend to get severely judged the rare times we open up about these sorts of things. She referred my family to a child psychologist who misdiagnosed my older sister with anorexia. She doesn’t do anything. I have no trust in this woman and I don’t know any other way to get formally diagnosed to maybe get therapy or medication. I’m too scared to open about any of it to my family. My family knows I have ocd, but not how debilitating it can get.
So I'm trans, or I was pretty sure I was before my first big ocd flare up. When it first started the fear that I wasn't trans and had somehow been brainwashed or motivated by a fetish was my biggest theme and all the other themes i had seemed to stem from it or were related to it in some way. Since starting treatment ive been applying erp techniques to all my other themes and it helped alot to decrease my anxiety about them and help me gain clarity on my actual values and beliefs. But I just ca t shake this one I have to constantly remind myself of evidence and mentally review all the variables around my gender identity. I know it's compulsive but it's the only thing that gives me hope that one day I'll feel like myself again. I know that the more I ruminate on it and mentally check my reactions to certain things the worse it gets. I feel kind of trapped in this cycle
I had a similar fear on two different occassions I’ll label Episode B (2023) and Episode A(2021). The difference is Episode B I was completly blacked out alone for hours and hours whereas Episode A I was alone for like an hour an 30 minutes I asked my ex to come over and it took him an hour to get there and we were on the phone 70% of the time . Episode B Nov 2023: Severe fear that I molested my dog while blackout drunk since I live alone. Anyone had any similar alcohol blackout fears? I Have not drank since but when I drink I hit on people and get very sexual (beer google eyes and just nothing wrong with sexuality) but when I drink it comes out in ways and with people I don’t want it too and I don’t feel self aware I’m just acting out on alcohol and lower inhibitions. My point is since I have pure ocd intrusive thoughts of sexual intrusive thought with people,dog,family etc. almost daily basis. I have severe trauma/fear that what if I got home alone and like molested my dog or something. I was at bar hiting on a guy that when I saw selfie I took next day I would not have flirted with this guy in a million years (0% my type) and in the next bar and in Uber I was coming on to my best female friend. I’m a female and I would have ever hit on my friend in the 5 years we have been friends, she’s like my sister so because I was so drunk I was coming on to her heavy/begging almost as per what she said. She was upset about it but forgave me. However, I no longer drink with her or at all anymore after we left the bar (I went to three bars in the span of 5-6 hours and had prb 4-7+ drinks which were mojitos at first and then I blacked out so don’t remember). When I was dropped in lobby I was inside but accidently got out and locked myself out of lobby door for about an hour, I could stand and walk (though I would rock a little back and forth) and I was disoriented to some degree because there was a man entering lobby and he let me in lobby and got inside elevator with him, he got out on his floor 7th and I pressed 10th floor (I live on 11th) then got out on 10th took off shoes realized I was not in my floor. Went back to elevator press end lobby and then 10th floor. Then door open again then I saw myself trying to press 11th floor and eventually I got home to my floor (without shoes, I left in other floor and left purse/cellphone in lobby) my apt door was unlocked (due to the lock being broken) and was kinda lost I live in 11th floor and took me 2 minutes to get home since I got off wrong floor and pressed wrong button twice until I pressed 11th floor (I only know if this bc I saw security camera footage because I asked since I blacked out) and wanted to know how I got home. Once I got home I don’t know what happen other than I believe I showered and I found a tv remote control and and wet towel on bathroom floor and dog bone in shower and that I woke up naked in bed covering myself in a bedsheet and that i had left my dog locked in the bathroom (I believe with light on). As someone with ocd you can see how this has wreck havoc in my mind and uncertainty. I have no memories of anything, my fear is what if I had an intrusive thought and acted on it with dog or what if I was in a sexual state of mind still and acted with my dog. There was also a knife in my bathroom but I don’t know if it was there earlier from dying my hair or if I grabbed it in a drunken emotional state of mind ( episode A: 2021 I have grabbed a knife on another occasion a year ago once on the phone drunk with my ex bc I thought I had done something wrong to my dog an intrusive fear so I took that fear as what if something happen while intoxicated though I was only home alone for 30 minutes also I was fueled with sadness over our breakup so it was a bad mix ) my ex came over and that’s i) so I don’t know if I’m Episode B the most recent my subconscious mind grabbed the knife since I was alone and prb had fear or if the knife was already there from drying hair earlier to open a hair box bottle not sure. Long story short, it’s been 6 months since Episode B the thing about episode B I don’t remember anything/my train of thoughts nothing. However since Episode B occurred I have stopped drinking and planning on never drinking again but the uncertainty and what if and fear haunts me and I don’t know how to deal with the fear and uncertainty. I’m sorry if this is confusing to read. If you have any questions let me know. I wanted to share but also try to see if anyone has ever had a similar fear. It has been 6 months since this event and I have not drank since but needed to vent bc I’m starting to think about it more these past few days. It’s always been a thorn like something that bothers me most days I try not to think of that fear but these past two days I started to ruminate.
An ocd diagnosis did not stop me from falling in love or becoming a business owner. I am happy to be in therapy & feel supported on a daily basis.
Hey! I’m really in need of some encouragement right now, can anyone tell me their experience with ROCD and their recovery? I’ve felt very hopeless the last few days and it would be nice to hear some recovery stories and uplifting words.
I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I experience a handful of the same, intrusive thoughts regarding who I am and what I offer to the world, and things with my boyfriend. I have been seeking therapy through the university I go to which has been helpful, but my therapist is treating me with only anxiety in mind, which is why I think it’s effects are not longer. During the summer, I cannot use my universities counseling resources, and have been doing digging through this app to help me consider my options for when I need therapy. However, I am still under my parents health insurance. My parents know that I go to counseling, but they do not know that I believe I have OCD symptoms. It is also difficult because I believe that my parents were a huge influence on these symptoms. If anyone has any advice as to how I should go about this with my parents if I were to use this app as a resource for therapy.
What are some things people do instead of reassurance seeking (eg ruminating or googling)?
can someone please tell me if this is a normal rocd symptom? i’ve really been struggling the last few days. i have my first session tonight thankfully. but i’ve been having meltdowns and anxious 24/7 since this started. im now at a point where im looking at my boyfriend and not seeing him how i used to. like i know that it’s him but for some reason i feel like it’s not. it’s hard to connect who he is with his face if that makes sense. this is by far the most hurtful part i’ve experienced. is this normal?
Today is awful, got groinals a week ago, my father passed away and things got harder. I have hocd since September last year and sometimes have peaceful periods. Overcame false attraction and few other things. Also im taking meds for anxiety and depression and also suicidal. I have girlfriend and when we cuddle i get aroused but when thoughts come it gets more intense. Its wery uncomfortable and i dont know what to do anymore. Thank you for reading this, and hope you have some advice. Im currently 23yo
Does anyone else’s OCD get triggered by intimacy? Was intimate w my boyfriend last night and I just couldn’t stop checking and then if I didn’t feel turned on “enough” I was like oh it’s probably bc I’m gay etc. where’s the line between OCD and not being turned on! Granted on a good day / when my brain is turned off I have so much fun & it feels so good. Why does this happen? Does it happen to anyone else? Sometimes I feel so dirty or depressed afterwards
Anyone who makes art, what kind of struggles you face with it because of ocd?
So I was having sexuality thoughts and I tried using one ERP method which was “maybe or maybe not either way I will be fine” but then a random thought appeared that made me panic which was “what if I become bi or fall for a girl and can’t be with my bf no more?” And I instantly started crying because I don’t wanna lose him he’s literally everything to me. I also couldn’t fully cry out my emotions since I live in a toxic household and I tend to force myself to stop crying because I don’t want them asking me questions and then blaming on the people I care about. 😭
Anyways, aside from my last post, I wanted to come here and let y’all know that I’m basically recovered from SO-OCD! I have maybe one episode every two months, and that’s been going on for two years. Wanted to open up this thread and offer the floor for anyone who has questions for me and my experience!
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OCD doesn't have to
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