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My intrusive thoughts are telling me that im repressing my attraction when i dont ever want to ever be attracted to men in any way…

Sometimes I feel like my partner is a trigger, if that makes any sense. Like he does everything right and is so sweet but when I FaceTime him I get triggered. Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone?

So while in the bathroom today, I was cleaning myself and had my clothes on the closed toilet and my hands were wet. I didn't want to get my clothes wet while I was cleaning and I had to go. The urge was there and... I urinated in the sink because I thought it would be convenient in the moment. I don't prefer the sink over the toilet by any means though I know there's people that do. I've done this before in the past and didn't feel guilty from what I remember but I do now. At one point it really heightened my anxiety but it went away. I see it as the same as urinating in the shower but again it's not something I would prefer over the toilet. The toilet is the main use for me but I just thought in this moment it wouldn't be a big deal to go and make sure the entire area is clean afterwards

Need to vent. So my boyfriend who I was dating for a few months decided to ghost me out of nowhere instead of just break up with me. Haven’t heard from him in over a week and he’s been posting IG stories so I unfriended him and assume that’s just his immature way of saying he lost interest. I’m 29 I’m too old for this shit and even though he was a little younger he seemed mature/like a different person when we first got together. I know that means it’s for the best this happened sooner than later but it still hurts :( any positive insight or advice would be appreciated🥺

when we randomly get intrusive thoughts/images it's because our ocd brain is constantly in alert to scan potential non-existent threats out of everything. This behaviour is reinforced everytime we answer to these threats. If we react to them and start thinking that they actually mean something, the brain will be actively in the look out for these "threats" anytime anywhere and make them appear out of thin air even in the most ridiculous and illogical way possible. We can reduce this constant vigilance by refusing to aknowledge future threats (intrusive thoughts, triggering scenario/episode)

Ok sorry this is kinda a quick post just desperate for help. Any advice anyone who can provide some help or advice. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and suicidal at the moment so writing this isn’t easy, I’m struggling to find the words to describe how I’m feeling right now, so I’m just gonna lay it out as it is. Although I haven’t been formally diagnosed with ocd I have allot and I mean allot of the symptoms. My life and mental state is horrible and it’s hard. Ur I try and get get by with the good things in my life. Sorry I’m not here for a pity party or sob story. I know you all are better and have enough to worry about. Basically I had a friend who was 14 and I met when I was 17. We talked for a few months and while we where pretty chill out conversations sometimes involved more suggestive things. Talking as teenagers do. However as I was getting close to being 18 I knew I had to stop this out of morals and my own judgement. So I did. Or so I thought, I’m my opinion what i said here was wrong and my ocd if I even have it is telling me I’m a creep and some monster who deserves to die and suffer. Basically now I was at the time 18 we where playing Truth and dare. Classic party game for boring nights. And I asked what there best pickup line was. I responded to there’s with “aha that was funny” and moved on. I just feel the dare I said was sexual or inappropriate to ask them. And I feel horrible so horrible I can’t even begin to explain it. I feel hopeless and I’m slowly losing grip of myself. I don’t wanna seem like I’m begging or asking for reassurance but any semblance of hope would help. Or advice honestly I would be great full for both. Thank you for reading whoever you are and i hope ur day is going better than mine.

I still don't understand why my ERP is not affecting my mood much. I have been able to maintain my composure and let my thoughts pass by for the past week but I still feel like I just want to do nothing. Even when I force myself to do chores or engage in fun activities I just feel depressed. Am I just not disciplined enough in ERP yet or am I going to need something to help with the depression aspect of this? I'm curious what others who have been through this kind of feeling think.

I can’t stop having intrusive, almost constant thoughts about someone I used to talk to online in a romantic way. Yesterday it bothered me that my boyfriend didn’t like a song that I like that this person liked because I had a lot of music in common with that person so it triggers me when I don’t also have it in common with my boyfriend sometimes. So I told him why I was bothered when he criticized the song and then he got upset saying basically he always has to worry that I’m thinking about random nobodies from my past and worrying if I’m comparing him to them (oh and I had the thought “he isn’t a random nobody” which it was really hard for me to deal with the fact that I had that thought and I still don’t know why I would have had it if there isn’t some truth to this fear. Anyways I have a hard time being realistic with understanding that it hurts him too. Instead I expect him to take it perfectly because if not then I worry he’s toxic. Also the thoughts themselves are driving me crazy it’s unbearable. This theme was super common for me months ago and lasted for months (about this same specific person) and now it’s happening again and it makes me feel so bad. Why is it about the same person I’m so worried about the possibility of me not being over him and sometimes it almost feels like the thoughts are fond and I hate it so much it is the hardest type of intrusive thoughts in my experience for me to deal with. I took some lorazepam so I’m waiting for it to kick in but I just can’t stop picturing the person in my head. Why can’t I just be left in peace to enjoy my relationship I can’t explain how much pain and anxiety it causes me

So. Brain has glomed onto a new tactic to keep this BS going: Whereas before it was every suspiciously coloured spot, it is now also, "did we touch that person/their blemish/cut/wound/scratch/etc? Are your clothes now contaminated with their blood? You might bring hep C home..." and so on. Despite the fact I do not even casually touch people or like to BE touched--I never have, not even before COVID. It's always made me uncomfortable. High fives and fist bumps were even only with family and friends--of whom there are very few. Trouble with this is it's summer now, everyone's wearing less clothing and getting hurt more. It's awful to go to work now because I am automatically checking people and brain is always on alert. Triple threat: I work in a popular drugstore. I cringe going into the first aid aisle. The constant mental review is a nightmare, and reminding myself to "trust myself and my habits" is wearing thin and no longer as effective. I wear latex/nitrile gloves at work and am constantly running to change them and wash my hands. I have disinfected my purse two days in a row (I never did before!) because of "what if"s... I can't keep doing this. I am an assistant manager. Not only is this bad for MY mental health, but I am letting my team down with how distracted I have become. I am incredibly lucky I've been there so long and that my boss knows the real, non anxiety having me and believes I can get better. I know ERP will be the answer, but in the meantime... what can I do? If my damn amygdala would quit mouthing off so quickly and so often, logic could come back, but it's just getting worse day by day. I am reaching my wit's end, and have considered quitting my job, which I love and has been a cornerstone of my life for nearly 8 years. I can't lose everything to this stupid mental illness.

Real Event OCD is a nightmare. I wish I could just forget my past, every event and every detail and every false memory too. I know the guilt, shame and anxiety I'm feeling is supposedly 'disproportionate' to my events but since my events involve p*rn I feel like it's not disproportionate, and I hate how stupid and oblivious I was. Even though it's been six months since my last event, and years since some of my others, I feel like I'm gonna be living with these feelings forever.

In my head I have created a world view that seems pleasant to me. A world view where everyone has a very special place, irreplaceable, and world shattering if a relationship that should be wasn't. That world view doesn't exist in reality. Social relationships are pretty malleable. If I didn't meet my friends, they'd be just as happy, and so would I. Etc. And I wish I never thought up that view of reality and the "how things should be" that comes with it. I should be alright with the fact that myself and others are okay without each other. And I'm just upset with how I've developed my thinking...

I keep getting intrusive thoughts saying im bisexual and its making me feel like im not anxious about it… like its making the intrusive thoughts feel like they are “passive” in my mind and less loud and obnoxious in my mind… what do i do…?

Hi I’ve been struggling with these thoughts for about a year now. It started with suicidal ocd, I used to be really scared of it, now my brain added another theme which is existential OCD, I’ve got very often this questions even when I’m doing something really basic like moving a glass from a place to another or completing another tasks I’ve got this question coming up “ why I’m even bothering to do it anyway we all gonna die at some point, why should we even bother to do anything if we all gonna die in the end” which puts me in a really really depressing mood, now I’m not sure if this questions are based OCD or if it’s a symptom of depression ? Honestly I don’t identify myself as a depressed person, I only been diagnosed with anxiety last year after I suffered many years of it, after I understood it … I don’t feel I struggle with it anymore I finally thought I’ll start enjoying my life then these weird and terrifying questions started to pop up in my head on a daily basis. Now my actual question is…I know exposure and prevention therapy helps with this disorder but I feel other themes have loads of examples, could someone give me some examples of exposures in suicidal and existantial ocd ?

Had a rare moment today where i thought that even if i seem to respond more to nude pictures of women than men, it doesnt mean i experience no attraction to men or cant just be somewhere on the kinsey scale. It doesnt mean i dont enjoy being with my partner (male) Idk why though it upsets me cos I am starting to find some things unhelpful. Like i feel like i doubt anything I feel for men as comphet, as not enough in comparison to women if their bodies arent as hot, or get scared ill be unfulfilled or not know if i never try with a woman. A lot of this based on sexuality talk on reddit or talk (great for ocd, i know 😂) Sometimes im okay with the uncertainty of it and sometimes im not.

I’m dealing with so-ocd and I’ve identified straight all my life and now in fear I’m actually bisexual at the age of 25 and I feel like I’ve been in denial as I had this theme twice before. This would be my third time I’m dealing with this theme. The false attraction feels so real. I can’t see any pretty girl and question my attraction. I’ve tried to let keep the thoughts in my head, but the second I see a pretty girl. I begin to spiral. I want to date and be straight but everytime someone askes me get a boyfriend, I begin to spiral and get triggered. Why is that even if I’m straight I’m getting triggered? Can my orientation change after doing ERP? Am I forcing myself to be straight? Idk my head hurts everyday. Not asking for reassurance I’m just confused

Me and my partner are sorta trying for a child but I'm really worried I'll end up giving them this disorder. Am I being irrational? Are there any parents who could chime in and give me advice?

If i try to accept i feel so much guilt and sad and even depressed like im a bad person and i have to fix this, but i realize to that then i become perfectionist, and its really exhausting to always be perfect for God, and you become obsessive with that, its not healthy. But i cant accept im like this and this is okay cause God still loves me... i still feel bad about being sinful... so then i say to myself that maybe im not sinful cause i really avoid many bad things, so i might be good but then i get guilt again cause "who i am to say that im not sinful, im a human too, i cant say that"... This might come from me not knowing what is really a sin, there are alot of things people call sins, but i want to understand why is it a sin. This really makes me not enjoy my life cause i call sin many things i enjoy doing and now i feel guilty about doing them...

TW - feeling sad for life? Paul said that he had "unceasing sorrow". Will I always be sad about these things that are making me sad, even if I stop obsessing over it?

I keep questioning if i like my partner and daugther? And if i like anything i used to love… its like i can’t feel joy when im being with the ones i love anymore??? Is this normal ocd??

Anytime I see my triggers it’s an automatic body reaction that makes me feel like I like what I’m looking at before I even start thinking of the whole picture. Just the first reaction my body is telling me I’m turned on. I don’t even look at the people I usually like the same anymore. My brain and body have just gone into terror mode. It’s telling me im attracted to kids, how I hate my dog and don’t love her, and that everybody hates me. These all go against how I feel but now I don’t even think that’s true anymore. Ocd has taken my identity again, within the span of 3 weeks I have only had 3 good days to myself where I wasn’t feeling any of this and now im feeling it all at once again. Im so tired of not feeling like I don’t know who I am. Im tired of the constant questioning. Im tired of my first reactions not feeling like it’s a big problem to me. Im tired of my brain and body lying to me. Im just tired. Im not strong enough. Im going to a psychiatrist soon and getting in medication in hopes I can find a way to not feel all of this as intensely so I can actually focus on doing erp. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to be a pedophile. I don’t want to hate my dog. I don’t want to hate my life. But I am getting to a point where if the universe could do me one favor, I would want it for me to seize existing and for my family to forget about me. They would all be better off and that would mean I can stop overthinking and worrying or even having a conscious. All of this overthinking could’ve gone to something useful but instead I’m in constant battle of not wanting to be a pedophile and I keep losing. I’m not positive enough for this. I just want my suffering to end. I won’t commit suicide but I won’t say no if someone offers to shoot me.