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I can’t stop crying because of my thoughts and feelings. I can’t even sleep in peace. I need help but I really don’t feel comfortable telling anyone my thoughts even my therapist

i didnt know that being alone at home make my anxiety worse how to cope with that

My daughter is 8 and is diagnosed with OCD, poor insight and ADD. During the school year, she was taking both Prozac and Jornay PM(comparable to old school Ritalin but time released so you take at night). We had trouble filling it at beginning of summer, so we decided to take a break from the Jornay PM. We immediately noticed that she was a much happier child. Fast forward 3 weeks and we gave the Jornay to her before gymnastics camp 2 days in a row. Her compulsions increased tremendously and she was agitated, extremely intolerant to all noises, and I could go on. She needs to be on something for her ADD for school but I don’t want her to be miserable in the process. In my mind, the side effects are not worth the educational benefit at this point. Any advice on medications for ADD that have not exacerbated the OCD and do not cause extreme mood swings? TIA

I’m having a really hard time with people disregarding my legitimate concerns about COVID as me just being “unwell.” I know I take it to an extreme that most don’t. But the basis of my concerns, I am positive, is legitimate and objectively reasonable. I can tell pretty clearly when I’m responding too intensely due to my OCD, but for a number of reasons, my comfortable levels of risk are extremely low. I follow scientific journals and professionals in related fields— not some bunk conspiracy stuff! But people who know me seem to be brushing aside my concerns with wanting to avoid COVID as entirely OCD-derived, rather than that I go overboard with my preventatives. For quite a while, I was simply masking in public places and not going out to eat. But as people have eased their caution, I’ve been compensating by increasing mine, and now I’m masking in my own home as my housemate is no linger masking and actively socializing. I realize there will be overlap with OCD in this area, but I also know that this is a conclusion I’ve also reached otherwise, too. I am in several high risk categories and my health leaves plenty to be desired as it is, and seeing my friends and watching the news articles about healthier people my age and younger having a myriad of terrible health issues come up after their COVID infections, I don’t want to risk the initial illness or the potential chronic conditions it could bring. And frankly, I’m an incredibly depressed person, and one more thing that makes it harder for me to get out of bed in the morning may be the thing that makes me stop wanting to even wake up, literally. I don’t ask people to change what they do. I realize everyone has different standards and that I can’t expect them to align with mine, nor would I want to insist. So, as a result, I compensate for that lack of caution with myself. I haven’t seen a movie since 2019, I haven’t had a haircut in longer since I was already overdue for one before 2020. I have eaten in one restaurant, seated outdoors, and that was the same visit that someone I was with genuinely narrowly exposed our entire group to COVID. I’ve had OCD result in agoraphobia for other health issues before. I used to be scared I’d have a medical emergency if I went out for a walk, and could generally push myself through it, and as long as I kept momentum, I could keep going with it and relax. I just hit my mid-thirties and I truly can’t recall a time where I didn’t have OCD, so I’m pretty familiar with it at this point, and this is the hardest I’ve ever had with it because -the thing I’m afraid of is a potential outcome-. Hell, a pandemic illness is one of my greatest fears. It’s an absolute shitshow of it all converging into a miserable slog. But constantly, things I worry about come true. I don’t think it’s some cosmic force, I think I’m just good at noticing potential negative results. I’ve had medical issues in recent years that even doctors nearly persuaded me wasn’t a big deal or even happening, and when I finally saw a specialist, they confirmed that it really was going on and I was right to be concerned. I feel like I’m trying to protect my health and people are telling me I don’t need to, but if something happens to me, who’s going to help me? And will I hear that I should have been more careful (like I’ll be telling myself)? It’s also hard because while I can talk about OCD and explain it very clearly so that people understand I’m not delusional or dangerous or unable to be otherwise rationale, something about this and the fact that I am heavily sequestering myself into isolation as I try to establish a place that feels safe to me makes people look at me funny or respond to me like I’m nuts, even to reasonable things. I had a housemate who very possibly have COVID, so while I was isolating in my room and masking (before this became my norm), the housemate was hanging out in the main parts of the house constantly unmasked. And because I had shared a space with them unmasked, I was waiting to hear the result of their COVID test back. The concern was great enough that it stopped said housemate from going to work as a preventative, but after several days where the results should have been back and I wanted to know so I could potentially have stopped being so hyper-cautious, I finally started asking one every day or so if the results were in. I was treated like an annoyance. Eventually, enough time has passed that they wouldn’t be “contagious” anymore, and my own test (which came in sooner than theirs somehow) was proving I didn’t have COVID either. Which was great, but I still wanted to know what their result was in case we’d had asymptomatic cases since even those can still cause very quiet illnesses in the long run and because it meant I needed to be VERY sure I didn’t get it again. But people didn’t think it was important, so they treated me like I was nuts for wanting to know this. This is already exceedingly long, but I’m just exhausted of the whole thing. I don’t know when this is going to improve, I really will quit taking precautions when evidence shows they aren’t necessary, but we don’t know when that really will be, and in the meantime, the true effects of COVID will take some time to be seen. And what we’re already seeing isn’t great! I find my other OCD habits are intensifying, too, and that’s sure not fun! I aim to get into therapy again at some point, but now I need to find a therapist who, while not just patting me on the ass about my worries, at least believes that COVID should be avoided, even if their response to it to try to do that is different than mine. It all absolutely sucks and I’m sick of every last element of it. My mom even was diagnosed with cancer in 2020 and died in 2021, and while still mourning that and processing the trauma of that experience, it was all so much worse happening during COVID. Ugh.

Before my boyfriend and I had something he also said indirect that he finds my friend attractive. My boyfriend and I met on a dating platform so we texted a whole year before meeting. So in the beginning it wasn’t really serious from both sides and we didn’t think it would become a relationship. So when I send him a photo of me and my friend he sometimes said that she can come to etc. Just things that makes me know that he finds her pretty tho. But now when we have a relationship, almost a year. I’m still scared when he’s with me and my friend that he still finds her pretty or that she’s is nicer than me and will go to her. So when I don’t like it when he’s with my friendgroup. What can I do about this and should I be scared?

Its making the intrusive feelings feel so so real… its making it feel like im in denial when i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual in any way shape or form…

I’m freaking out over possibly having diabetes or being close to it. My health anxiety is going crazy. I know there are things I can do like eating better and exercising but my brain is like “what if that doesn’t help” or I know there is medication I can take but I don’t want to. I’m losing it, I’m so terrified

It has been over a year since I took off college to work on my OCD and I still am not really feeling ready to go back. I feel stuck

Sometimes I have so much going on in my head at one time - and I have layers of intrusive thoughts one on top of another - all together and sometimes I don't know or remember which one caused my anxiety but I have to go back and solve them or reproduce the feeling that came up so that I can "disregard" it properly. It gets so exhausting because I'm always chasing after random thoughts and feelings all about similar themes - that are constantly getting triggered - by silly things. The fear is - I won't know its ocd unless i go back and solve them. I think this might be a compulsion? Does sitting with the discomfort with this Also work?

Possible trigger warning if anyone else has an ED. I saw a post online that basically said if you cant have a restrictive eating disorder without being fatphobic. I have Anorexia, struggled with it for years. I truly believe in beauty at every size and eating what you want, I've never been the type of person to judge others for their bodies or what they eat. I would never look down on someone for their weight and I hate it when other people with my disorder shame people for being overweight or use it to 'encourage' themselves. I do have an unexplainable fear of gaining weight but that unfortunately just comes with the illness and i only ever apply these standards to myself. There's even been times I wished more people could think more like me so that I wouldn't be insecure about gaining weight. I genuienly dont equate weight to anyone's worth, to me it's just a number until I'm the one on the scale. My OCD is telling me now that by struggling an ED i hate fat people or am being offensive. That I should force myself to eat even though it makes me anxious and it's not something I can just force myself to do. I've been in this horrible limbo all day with my mind on whether or not just being sick makes me a terrible person. :') I hate OCD.

I don't know what to do anymore nothing I do to try and get over this real event ocd helps. My day goes like this - 4am, wake up in sudden panic attacks where it's near impossible to get back to sleep. - The I don't deserve thoughts start instantly eg I don't deserve to relax/sleep, I don't deserve to have thoughts, I don't deserve the sound of the birds outside, I don't deserve anything really. - Following this depression kicks off and because I feel down it makes the "I don't deserve thoughts totally believable. - I start to mentally punish myself - I try to break the cycle by doing this things anyway, but this takes so much energy. Something I have limited of in the first place due to lack of sleep. - The rest of the day continues with my moods going up and down like a roller coaster. - Later in the day I start to panic, as I know the anxiety attack that inevitably awaits the next morning. - I spiral into hopelessness wondering what is actually going to stop my head. I start looking for answers (do I contact the guy that I hurt?). - I try to be functional for my partner in life, but I fail and constantly break down crying. - I try to enjoy a bit of tv before bed before medicating and going to bed stressed knowing this is about to start again tomorrow. I'm not sure where to go from here people, I'm quickly running out of energy and will power to deal with this groundhog day effect, I need to see results!. My psychologist keeps trying to dig through my past and she doesn't understand ocd whatsoever. I'm tempted to go up the hospital, but they're just going to drug me up and send me home despite having no understanding of ocd as well... I'm literally cornered... I've got no options. I just wait around all day waiting for something to give and if I keep going down this path it's going to be my mind and body. Has anyone else been where I am and can offer some advice?

Hey everyone. Yesterday was difficult, today I feel slightly better. I’m really upset because I KNOW I shouldn’t be compulsively researching stuff on Google, but I read this thing that says there are women that are a 100% straight and don’t feel absolutely anything for any woman. So it just makes me wonder, what about aesthetic attraction?? Aesthetic attraction to me feels like something. Idk how to describe it. It’s like a feeling that you get when you look at someone that is attractive. I feel it in my chest so maybe it’s like anxiety mixed with pleasure? Idk why I feel some physical response but I don’t like it. That’s what made me get upset. I feel this, so am I not 100% straight?? I don’t wanna be bi or gay, even if I was I wouldn’t wanna act on it. Even though my brain and body feel like they want to but I DON’T. Bi or gay labels don’t resonate with me, so I will not act on it. Mix all this with the false attractions that don’t feel false, and the unwanted sexual responses your body has and it literally makes up enough “proof” that my worst fear is true. I wanna be with my bf forever, and marry him and have children. That’s been my dream ever since I was a little kid. I think my fear stems from there and also the fact that I would be terrified to be alone in life. I just want to be completely straight, soooo badly. I do not wanna be with a woman in any way. Just thinking about sex or romance with one makes me feel upset and wanna cry and literally kms because I hold my relationship so dear and it’s literally the most important thing in my life. Even my body has these disgust responses but it’s like my brain likes the thoughts and feelings. Ugh idk I really just needed to vent. Sorry if it’s too long. Hope y’all are having a good day.

I feel beside myself. My partner focused ROCD feels like it will never end. I'm panicking because I feel like I'm running out of time because I'm 37 and want to be married with kids before it's too late, but im struggling to take the next step in my relationship. My boyfriend treats me amazing and we have a healthy and loving relationship. I keep chasing that euphoria that I think I should be feeling. We have been together 1 year, 7 mos.

I just saw a tiktok and I feel so awful now, before I write what this woman said I want to warn that it could be very upsetting, and that it is absolutely NOT TRUE!! But the video was this woman saying "It literally just occurred to me, um, intrusive thoughts? Are literally just your intuition." I know that she just doesnt know what she's actually saying, but the way she said it makes me so mad, and knowing she has no clue how horrible and harmful that statment was!! I still remember the first time I read when I was reading about OCD that intrusive thoughts are actually the opposite of what you actually believe or want or feel, it was like a bright light washing over me how relieving that was for me. I only did that research after being debilitated by them for like 5 years, and when I started having these horrible uncontrollable thoughts and imagery around 7th grade, I thought it all must represent my deepest, suppressed unconscious desires. I had no idea what was wrong with me, and my experience makes me wish people were better educated about mental disorders and OCD in particular, knowing how much distress I could have been helped from had I known more about OCD psychology. Anyway, to anyone reading this, your intrusive thoughts are NOT your "intuition," and they are not representative of you or your character.

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing well for themselves today. I'm having a flood of Religious OCD thoughts that sound a bit like - Am I going to go to hell? What if i'm in the wrong religion? Do other religions go to hell? Which one is the right one? Am I a good person and do I deserve heaven? I think this is ok, but if it isn't, am I going to hell? I know that this has the potential to get better when I start therapy properly and use the techniques that I've learned. I also am going to introduce regular mediation to my routine. But has anyone here had similar thoughts before, and what is it like when they get better? It seems like there is a constant looking threat of all these things coming true when I die (even though they are just thoughts).

Every since I started doing this, man, my ocd has been going haywire. It’s just super exhausting - it’s like I’m fighting it, and it’s doing it’s best to survive. Making up all these narratives constantly, god it’s exhausting. It’s like the more I attack it, the more ocd stuff goes through my head. So annoying. What have you guys done when this has happened?

Every counter OCD thought (compulsion?) I have, my mind responds with THIS SOUNDS LIKE DENIAL. And then I have to stop doing it. I’ve stopped going on detrans Reddit because I feel like this is a “cult I was sucked into due to denial”. Is it possible for intrusive thoughts to come in feelings and inner natural statements. I will look in the mirror and my brain will say “I hate my face”. And I will feel hatred towards it. I feel uncomfortable about being female. I don’t know why. It doesn’t seem like ocd but like actual dysphoria. This is a way I have NEVER felt. And I perceive my self as a man or a transgender person in denial in my head. I feel happy and calm and smiling, so nice even to the point of happy tears when I feel more SURE it’s ocd and not dysphoria. But when I am faced with the (actually pretty rational) fear that I am transgender my hands are shaking and I feel nauseated and I feel like i wanna die (panic attack). Even when I am sure I want it and that it is my TRUE EMOTION. My intrusive thoughts can be so specific. I’ve started reassuring myself that I can enjoy certain things even if I am transgender . Is this still TOCD or does it sound like something different.

I'm tired of feeling like nobody is truly listening to me, and feeling all alone despite trying my hardest to explain what I'm going through. I feel unloved. I feel unnecessary. I feel like there isn't any comfort for me, and despite therapy, I still feel terribly depressed. It might be my fault why I'm still doing poorly, though. Whenever I am not directly ruminating, these feelings are in the back of my mind. I feel like talking about it isn't helping me feel less alone, and so I don't even know why I am typing this. What I probably need is to be alone for a while and not talk to people about this.

Today was the worst day today. I was ruminating yet again about a past event that happened in my life (which is typical for me because that happens when I overcome an event from the past that I was ruminating over.) I had recently gone back to a compulsion the night before to gain some reassurance (thankfully there were some ppl on the internet who did me a favor and never gave me that reassurance.) But sadly, I went ahead and still found it. It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but I decided to accept it for what it was. I don’t want to alarm anyone because my friend told me that what I did wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was, but that thought got to a point where I was worried that if I told a hotline person about this, that they would report me to the p*lice and I would be sent to jail and personally, that freaked me out because I have school and I’m planning on going to college and that thought was ruminating in my head like crazy. I could barely focus on anything else. The only thing that helped me get my anxiety out of that thought was playing a game with my siblings, but other than that, I felt like such a stranger to my own mind. A part of me didn’t even think I was stressed out (a part of me still thinks I wasn’t) but if that was the case, then I would’ve felt better than I did in that moment. And the truth was, I didn’t feel better. I’m trying to tell myself that people make mistakes and that I don’t have to do anything crazy, but a part of me feels like a villain for not telling a mandate reporter about this, just so I could do some ‘justice’ because my religion says so. I know what my religion means when it comes to ‘justice’, but I know myself too. And I know that I’ve become a better, smarter, and more pious person than I was before. And I know that God doesn’t want me to live in this guilt and regret for a while just so I can finally live the life I want. I want to live that now, WHERE I CAN MOVE ON. My stress and my anxiety has taken such a toll on my body, I just want it to end. And I want to live peacefully, and I just don’t want to go to jail. I feel kinda alone in this world, even though I have God and my family with me. It still feels like I have so much pressure on myself that I can’t even regulate my emotions like I always do all the time, and I’ve just had enough of ‘calming down’ all the time. It’s not an insult to be mad, upset, angry, or even frustrated. Maybe that’s just telling someone something they need to know.

I managed to calm down a bit but my head doesn’t want to forget about the thoughts because it felt like something bad was going to happen and that it was real (I was home alone with my mum and I had these horrible thoughts, they weren’t even intrusive I deliberately brought them on and i don’t know why) but it was a thought of smothering and then it was thoughts of dragging my mum and then it was about burying (I feel horrible even writing that) but I deliberately thought of them out of no where and it felt real that that was about to happens and I kept feeling like I wanted to think about the thoughts and kept imagining them even after getting hot and cold chills and heart beating fast I felt like I wanted to imagine it for some reason and now I’ve been worrying for a few days a lot and feeling really crappy and everytime I think if the thoughts I feel really crap and it feel real like it could have happened and now I’m worried and feeling like I don’t even know if that’s what I actually wanted to do? - I know that sounds crazy but had anyone else had ocd for a long time and now you don’t even know what you want or how you feel? At the start of ocd I knew I hated the thoughts and pushed them away. And now I don’t even know when I’m anxious because I’m use to the anxiety and I don’t even know if I actually want to do those horrible things or not and that’s really scary where as before I knew I didn’t want that 100 percent but after having this for so long it’s like. I’ve become confused and don’t know who I even am, irs scary and that day it felt like those thoughts were going to happen and now I’m thinking does that mean everytime I will be alone with someone this is the result and why did it feel so real like it was good. To happen and that I wanted to and was deliberately thinking the thoughts it’s really scary to think about but at the same time it’s like I’m confused and think I like it and want it but really those thoughts make me feel sick but feel so real and I can’t always tell they make me feel sick and disgusted 😞 I managed to calm down and ignore it and felt better but now I keep feeling like I need to think about it to check or because it’s a problem since what if it could have happened and in the future it could happen now? And I keep having this horrible feeling that it could have happened and just didn’t and that it could happen next time and that I don’t even know if I wanted it or not and I feel really Worried and am believing that I do and I’m so confused and don’t went this to be true 😞😞