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Still got loss of attraction. Kind of bored now, but still scared at the same time ? Maybe uts because im desperate to become attracted again. Not sure. Anyone relate? X

Hello Im looking for some support/maybe people who have had similar experiences, but anyway, leading up to this fear/new set of symptoms, I was having panic attacks daily over another health anxiety theme, I feltlike I was going to have anaphylaxis from anything that late (despite me not having any confirmed food allergies), it got so bad that I would sometimes eat my lunch in the parking lot of the emergency room. Then I started developing agoraphobia, I started getting lightheaded in public and a general sense or being unwell even unrelated to food fears. Then suddenly I became easily overstimulated /getting sensory overload and when I looked up my symptoms and I saw that this can be one of the first symptoms of schizophrenia prodrome. It's been ALL downhill from there. I now feel spaced out (dp/dr) 24/7. I feel like l'm afraid of everything sometimes, I'm almost too afraid to watch tv because I'm afraid I will believe their talking to me or something. I'm constantly monitoring my own thoughts/listening out for voices. I feel like I'm not thinking the same anymore, I feel different, I feel like my thinking is slower, I feel like I'm constantly focusing on trivia nonsensica shit rather than the task at hand.sometimes I get extreme racing thoughts, yet at the same time sometimes I feel mentally slow. Im having really bad disorganized thoughts all the time, I have random phrases, words, songs that don’t make sense pop into my head all the time now, almost like the kind of random thoughts you get just before you fall asleep. I'm over analyzing every single thing. Any background noise that I immediately do not know the origin of triggers me until I know what it is and can confirm I'm not hallucinating. I just don't feel like myself at all, I feel a giant cloud in my head and feel heavy headed. I'm sometimes completely unable to think concentrate. Sounds stupid but I feel like I can't even play video games normally anymore, ill catch myself just running around aimlessly doing stupid shit, focusing on trivial nonsensical shit like I've never played a game before, I get distracted by random details now in a game l've played forever. Point is I feel like I'm not thinking normal anymore. I'm having EXTREMELY severe panic attacks multiple times a day now revolving around thoughts like "this is the lead up and im going to lose my mind", have to live in a psych ward, lose my wife, never be myself ever again, not be able to function anymore. I can barely leave the house at all, I feel almost afraid to be around people while I feel like this, I ALMOST can't even go to work anymore, but I HAVE TO because I get my health/mental health insurance through my employer, it's the only way I can see a therapist and psychiatrist and if I lost my job my insurance would be gone. Everytime I have a panic attack now I think "this is it!! I'm about to have the psychotic break!" Hoping this is just a result of extreme stress/just another health anxiety OCD theme. I was prescribed .25 daily klonopin to get me out of this episode but it doesn't really work, it takes away the panic but the brain fog/slow thinking/nonsensical thinking and inability to think clearly feeling still remains, and the worrying/obsessing about it still. Really need some support/kindness. I've been in tears over this. Extremely stressful and debilitating.

I just realised that the faith i had in God was i fairy tale to make myself feel good. I doesnt say God deasnt exist, i still think He does, but i dont feel so safe now... I believed that if im with God, if i serve Him, if i believe in Him, he will give me a good life(not an easy but a good life) and he will save me from horrible things... but i was wrong. I learned that God lets bad things happen cause He gave us free will. If something bad happens it doesnt means that he made that but he allowed it cause people do what they want. So i realized i can get harmed, killed, tortured by people cause God doesnt interferes with that...He doesnt enjoys it, he hates it, He suffers with me but He doesnt do anything cause of free will. So the "i have faith in God that i will be safe" is losing its value...We just went to the beach, the trip was 7 hours and i was so afraid that we will get into an accident. I said i trust in God that we will be there safe... but then i thought God cant interfere on free will so if someone will run into us then He just let it to be... So this fear doesnt go away, before it helped to say trust God and i will be safe, but now i know its not the case... i can get killed or die anytime, God will not interfere with it... I still believe in God bit now nothing can make this fear go away cause not even God can give me full safety... And no "the heaven will be better" and "maybe dying isnt as bad as we think" doesnt helps... my suicidal ocd just turns on... I understand the logic, why He doesnt interferes, but no mather how strong christian you are, you cant say anything back to "what if i die" cause God just lets it happen one day...

Like everything out there is so vicious it has yo be sexual, controversial, insane and every media out there wants to push that into our minds by force. I can't watch a movie or a show without to having sexual stuff in it, lgbtq, murder, etc which are things that trigger me so much and make me confused of what it makes me feel. I think that it can somehow change people's minds by repeateadly watching it they start wiring neural pathways to react to those things in certain ways or in the long run becoming desensitized by it thus scaling to more shocking stuff to be able to feel joy or pleasure out of what they're watching. Sometimes I don't even know what is the thing that arouses me in some sexual stuff that I stumble upon by mistake on media it sucks so much.

feel like if i stopped watching porn i’d feel like 50 percent better already. it makes me feel so guilty and i get so many intrusive thoughts. last night i couldn’t sleep at all bcuz i saw this video and it didn’t say the age of the girl or anything but i was aroused by it and she looked young. i hate myself sm. i’ve told everyone i’m gonna try and stop but after a day or two i just watch it bcuz it makes me feel less anxiety about certain themes but makes sexual intrusive thoughts so much worse. i used to be scared of porn because i thought i would go to hell if i watched it and now i feel like for the past year i’ve watched way too much. anyone have any tips on how to stop?

Im aware that I have OCD — I am diagnosed with it, this isn’t my first theme, it runs in my family, etc. BUT, I am so scared that my SOOCD is just having OCD about my sexual awakening… I am terrified that the reason why I don’t want to be gay/bi is because I just don’t want to accept myself. Whenever I do a checking compulsion and ask myself “do you want to be with a girl?” I always think something like “no, I see girls as friends, nothing romantic.” I am afraid that I’m just suppressing my feelings for women and labeling them as friends because I don’t want to accept myself.. this OCD is never ending

Hello everyone, I'm new here and have severe contamination ocd that has been happening the past four years since I was 20. I'm 24 now and it seems to be getting worse. I don't want to be around kids because I know they're germy little gremlins and carry the main thing I fear that caused my ocd to worsen. I shower whenever anything above my chest has been touched (neck, face, hair). I wash my clothes after one wear because they feel contaminated after the use. I refuse to let people touch my bed or clean clothes. If I hear that anyone in my family is sick I freak out intensely and have to stay away from them. I also shower if I've been in public and people were coughing near me. If I don't feel like showering and that my above triggers aren't contaminated I just wash my arms up to the elbow and go to sleep because I sleep in short sleeve shirts and my arms touch everything all day. I refuse to touch my face, neck or hair after touching my phone or anything else. I bring a travel blanket with me but have to wash it after every use. I use my shoe to open doors and press the cross walk button. If I can't use my shoe I use my pinkie and immediately handsanitize sometimes twice just to have my hands feel clean. I have to use a utensil to eat when in a restaurant and would ask to change it if I see it touch anything. I work at a place that requires me to use a phone so I have to shower and wash my ear. I hold my breath when walking past people. I can't sit back in the car or on the couch because it'll contaminate my neck and hair. I also have to do a double wash with my hands to feel clean. I used to do it for 20 seconds but I do the hand wash for 20 the 1st time then 30 for the second. I can't wear purses with straps that touch my shoulders, same with back packs. And I use so much soap and lotion that don't help keep my hands moisturized. And if I get triggered by anything I sit there in a quiet rage and ramble in my head because I know saying anything out loud will have me look crazy. There are times though that I get angry and close to tears when it feels like I've been contaminated and when my family makes fun of me for things I feel I have no control over especially the intrusive thoughts, emotions, anger, fear, and tiredness I feel on a daily basis. I'm scared of doing exposure therapy because I know they'll have me touch something contaminated and have me touch my face and not wash it how does that help it'll just make me angry.

How to stop feeling overshadowed and comparing myself to this girl? There’s this girl in my friend group that I notice stares at me from time to time but she treats me now kind of like I’m nothing. She used to approach me but now, she acts somewhat cold and aloof when I initiate. She acts different around others. It seems so personal. She made a flirty comment at my bf. Idk if this counts as flirty but when he went to go help out my roommates with a tapestry. As he went to help out, she was sitting next to me and said “atta boy ;)” in a flirtacious way. He didn’t hear but I did and it was awkward. I was at my bf’s place and went to go say hi to my friend (somewhat friend but she’s friends mainly with bf’s roommates) who was watching a movie with one of his roommates on the couch in the living room. They were watching one of my fave movies and I shared how much I love the film. Her response was that she agreed, but then she kept glancing at me. There was nothing next to me but a wall. She just kept glancing silently while I was watching the movie. Idk if this was just in my head but it felt real. I felt her staring and I’m curious if it’s because I’m annoying and interrupted the movie by joining in or what else. She still stares from time to time. I’m friendly and nice towards her, but she acts like I’m just not interesting enough. She’s still polite but it’s like I’m nothing really. She acts open and excited and talkative with others but when I’m that way towards her, it’s dulled down. She also somewhat excludes me in groups. Idk if on accident because I’m forgettable or on purpose. I caught her giving me a mean up and down look once. I catch her staring at me from time to time. When I told everyone about me getting a job interview, they cheered except this one girl response was that someone she knew had that job and didn’t like it. It made me question if I should go through with it or not. Ever since the flirting thing, I’ve been trying to avoid her at work. I automatically feel overshadowed and I end up acting small and quiet. Me and her work together which we were at a potluck for our job and our coworkers started complimenting my jacket and she just stood there quietly staring in a serious way. When it was time to take a group picture, I posed playfully and everyone laughed. Her response was, “Wow she is so feminine and all” in a mocking tone. I didn’t see her reaction if she was mocking or not but it sounded like it… She’s usually the life of the party and people love her. Ever since the presumed flirty remarks at my bf, I’ve been hesitant about being around her. I’m just that weak of a person . It’s like whenever I’m around her, I feel small and it could be not her fault. I’m just insecure. No one seems to want to be around me but they wanna be around her. I feel like I’m no fun. I’m either annoying or boring. There was this one moment where at a meeting, we all had to share our concerns and questions about our role at the job. It was my turn to share and I ended up crying saying I didn’t feel like I fit in. She grabbed my hand and told me that I light up the room whenever I walk in and other compliments about my character. Her other behavior still confuses me though. The flirty comment happened after this.

Context: Hello, I'm Non-binary and go by They/ Them pronouns. ive never been diagnosed with OCD, but do relate to a lot of the syptoms. I am here to help and better understand myself, so please be patient and kind with me. Hello, this post may be a little on the sadder end, so read at your own digression. I feel so lost, so trapped, so scared all of the time. i feel as tho i will never escape my own thoughts or seeking for reassurance from them. i never want to like these thoughts and dont. at the same time, i dont know why i find comfort in hurting this way. i want to get better, and live my life without fearing what these thoughts tell me, but at the same time it feels like i cant live without them. who am i if im not hurting? if im not scared, will i hurt people? logically, i know who i am. i dont hurt people, i do know who i am, and want to be that person again. i was once so loud, bold, a bit blunt at times, kind, laughed til my stomach hurt, confident, etc. i feel none of that now. i feel almost nothing anymore except constant pain and agony. im always waiting for the next mental break down. "How many times will i cry today?" is always the question i ask myself. Will i ever get better? Will i learn to lead a happy life again without these thoughts and needing to feel hurt? Will I be ok?

Any tips on dealing with SOOCD while having a boyfriend and keeping that relationship strong despite the fact you might be gay or have all these thoughts and urges and uncertainty? I am so afraid I will hurt him one day, become someone completely different, and crush him and his dreams for us.

Last post of the day because i want to limit compulsions someones comment about how explicit anime content caters to P’s is making me think that looking at explicit anime content (i look at women my age range or my senior) in the first place makes me a P when i dont ever want to ever be one…

Hey guys so today I went to my physiatrist and she basically told me I don’t have ocd and that I need to fast for 30 ways off my phone and she told me to replace bad thoughts with good thoughts and my parents believe her because she’s a specialist and I told them that I don’t need normal therapy like she suggested to me that I need erp therapy and I’m so overwhelmed because I feel so misunderstood. And I already tried therapy here but it didn’t last long because he left and online it didn’t really help plus it was to expensive so I had to stop it . So I’m doing this all on my own if anyone has tips on how to concentrate with bad thoughts and get through your day without them bothering you . Thanks (sorry if it didn’t make sense I tried ) 😅

I'm going to delete this in a bit because of my ocd, but any kind words and suggestions before I do, are appreciated. I feel so defeated, I'm so drained. I practice ERP everyday, I can't do it constantly, I'm just suffering so bad with ocd. I've had it my whole life for as long as I can remember but recently it's got horrendous. Is anyone else suffering this bad? Has anyone else had it your whole life?

I just get better then i get to something new and im back again feeling the same, reacting the same way... i was feeling okay, then the days started to feel boring so i went to my head and then i got ocd again... then we went to a vacation to the beach and bc of the trip i got so anxious, now im having the same emotions and thoughts as i had years ago and the same reactions, maybe slightly better cause im not depressed but i start to have enough of this, and im not the person i used to be, that self confident, knowing what i want to do and focusing on myself... i dont know where to start, what to do for recovery, everytime i get here i forget the steps, and everything i do is rummination or avoidance... I feel like i dont want to recover, but i know thats not the case, im just avoiding the pain cause i know i have to face fear but without the tools i just make myself sensitized and sick...theres a differece between pushing yourself to the fear without knowing anything and facing the fear with the tools you learned... well i forget it everytime and i react the same way i did before... and after time it start to feel annoying to search for the tools again and again and it even happens that the same tools that helped before somehow doesnt help now and i just worry and avoid the feelings... What i heard from some people who had ocd is that they still deal with it, they just use the tools, sometimes its easy but when life stresses you,you fall back and you react again.. So if my whole life will be like this,that I face something new, then i get triggered, i react the same way then i have to learn everything again, and i lose myself,lose my dreams, then it s*cks...Before i wanted to be a musician, i felt like i found my passion,but now when i try to think about it i doesnt feel anything...doesnt feel that passion and happy feeling about it and if i try to push myself into it i start to get emotional... i thought that someday this will end and i will get stronger, i will get able to face new things but im just getting back to the same thing...losing my self confidence everytime...

What does a person without OCD think like? Is it much more freeing?

Cam someone helo me? I tried to ask a legit good question but no one wants to answer

Has anybody gone down the route of treatment for OCD and later discovered they also have ADHD? If do, did you find treating one helped the other etc?

I’m really stressing… I’m f21 and I have always liked gay male love stories/porn. I’m worried this makes me a lesbian or bisexual because a lot of queer women say that they liked gay male media because it let them be queer without having to acknowledge liking women. Also, I have a NSFW question…. Straight girls— when you see a guy you find attractive, do you get a single throb/pulse in your clitoris? I don’t, but that’s what my “groinal responses” feel like. I’ve read that this is how other girls feel with men. Please respond.

I visited a psychiatrist for the 1st time about my problem. I knew it had hocd, but still wanted a professional diagnosis for confirmation, and so did i get. But after listening and diagnosing, she said there are a range of people, and mentioned being an effeminate men. I was dumbfounded. I never mentioned anything about it, and it felt like she was making indirect claims. She also said to experiment if you feel like it, which is clearly a compulsion and we shouldn't give in to them. There is a difference between erp and experimenting. Saying be your own self isn't a wrong thing, but it doesn't seem to be helpful to the problem, specially coming from a psychiatrist. Even for therapy or something, she mentioned nothing but rather prescribed me meds. I didn't feel like continuing at all and the session got over after 15-20 minutes. I feel i have gained more knowledge and insight on my own through research.

So I am (M) currently going through a rough break up in which I decided to end things with my GF . I wanted to try and talk with her about how things transpired . We were dating for 5 years and about a year ago , she went out to a bar and exchanged numbers with another guy and stayed out until late and lied to me about it. I had broke up with her but she begged to stay and I took her back. Over that span , she gave other ppl her instagram , number etc . About 4 months ago, she broke up with me , and moved out but we were still talking to each other almost every day and promised to work on our relationship , sleeping in my bed etc. Come to find out she was talking to another guy within 2 weeks of our break up . and even had a couple sleep overs in which she said “ nothing happened.” even though we were separated , I found a problem with this because she lied and said she was not talking to anyone and she even justified it by saying we were broken up and it was none of my business even though we were working on things and hanging out everyday . Once again I decided to break up with her and she cried her way back . After promising to not lie to me anymore , she has done it repeatedly . Hurts because the person I once knew isn’t even there any more . Having her around triggers my ROCD , and i just want her to acknowledge her breach in trust but I feel like our relationship is ruined because of dishonesty and seeing things differently . Any advice ? I feel it’s best to break up and never talk to her again .