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Hi everyone. Does anyone have any experience with OCD rituals ruining their relationships? My boyfriend does not have any patience for me anymore and I am having a hard time with this

Im getting so tired! I keep getting the “i want to die” thought and feeling… and its coming everyday… Always comes out of nowhere.. and i had a very good day yesterday… the thought and feeling just keeps coming back.. all the time! And it always makes me doubt if its real 😔

So I want to quit drinking or work on moderation. But I’m scared to. Which honestly sounds weird. Sadly, alcohol is the only way I feel alive and actually kind of happy and (weirdly) motivated. I don’t drink during the weekdays but then I binge drink like crazy on the weekends. Anyways, I feel kind of like I’ve fried up most my brain cells from years of this and obviously alcohol increases OCD and anxiety and all that jazz. Anyways, long story short, just looking for some motivation or if anyone else has quit drinking/ learned to moderate and what are your tips and tricks.

I’ve recently had the epiphany that I more than likely have crohns. I’ve been diagnosed with celiacs disease but even with a gluten free diet, I still have symptoms. Then it hit me that it could be crohns since it can cause increased anxiety, celiacs, and skin and GI issues consistent to symptoms I get. Well OCD won and I searched info on crohns and the increased risk for cancer has me terrified. I started having these symptoms in 2012 though when I was 18. So I’ve dealt with this forever and feel like surely it would be better to be being treated for crohns with my primary and getting meds etc than continue to live the way I have been…..but people on here have spoken about how bad crohns treatment can be as well. I honestly just feel like giving up. I’m battling so much, that I just don’t have the motivation most days :(

I’m so annoyed right now because I’m starting college tomorrow and I feel horrible, my OCD is at an all time high and all I want to do right now is hide away and never talk to or see anyone again. I knew my mental health problems (OCD, depression, social anxiety, insomnia) would impact me going to college which is why I contacted my doctor about going on anti depressants months before hand but I am not being allowed to (it’s wayyyy to long of a story) It’s going to be so difficult to achieve anything when I’m in this state, my mental health problems have already destroyed so many opportunities for me and I don’t want this to be added to the list. All I wanted was that possible extra support from medication but nope I’m going to have to do this all on my own

So, I have a small note that I made of myself, but I noticed that I was on 150mg for a little more than two weeks where I then started to return to my normal routine of daily activities and soon I fell into emotional blunting so I'm worried that by me having returned to my usual routine since I was feeling better and since I was on a high dose, I didn't need it in the first place

I've had this discomfort in my right foot for the whole day and it's never been like this before. I'm afraid that I let my eating habits get the best of me for too long. I don't have any other symptoms of diabetes but this really scares me. I even get tingling in my feet by just crossing my legs while sitting down

It’s amazing how powerful OCD is, I went through the worst Mental Health experience of my entire life last year. I thought my life was over, that I was insane, and was convinced 100% I had schizophrenia. My brain was mimicking every symptom. It was terrifying. After starting OCD therapy and ERP. My life changed forever. I was actually mental stable for once. I felt happy and controlled for once. Now Schiz OCD is back , and it seems worse then before. I can’t sleep, eat, work, or even socialize. I constantly feel insane. My two biggest themes are Harm OCD and Schiz OCD. And these themes work together to cause me constant anxiety. It’s hell. I can’t even think straight. I’m currently dealing with DP/DR, command thoughts/voice, internal voices/thoughts that I can make not sound like me or my inner monologue, “What if” delusional thoughts,hyperviligance,checking if I hear or see anything externally(auditory and visual hallucinations) and many more. I question my insight constantly. I even went to the hospital the other day to get evaluated and make sure I don’t have psychosis. Everything I fear the most seems to be coming true. Constantly asking my parents and therapist/professionals if I have schizophrenia. Constantly looking for reassurance. Feels as if I’m thinking my way into psychosis and schizophrenia. OCD knows exactly what you fear and will try to one up you on anything. OCD will CONVINCE you everything that’s happening to you is true , all your biggest fears. OCD is trying to find new things to keep you stuck and hold you in fear. This experience has been horrible and I am convinced I’m going insane. But I’ve been through this once and I’m going to get through this again. STAY STRONG. Reach out to professionals, Resist compulsions, step into the fear, and relax a little bit. You’re not alone.

If a person finds out that you have been in hospital for 5 days and they wish you well but do not offer to visit you or even do not ask you if you need anything, are they still a friend? The hospital is within a walking distance from their home.

I have always had OCD tendencies, however it was until very recently in which I finally got a diagnosis. Life has been hard, lately. Some great things have happened to me - I got engaged, married, moved 2 times, adopted another dog, and am starting a family with my husband, so what gives? I have everything I have always wanted and with the person who is perfect for me. We always laugh, spend time with each other, support each other, and have many MANY great plans for the future, so why the intrusive thoughts? They are common for me - I always had to do things a certain way, couldn’t sleep unless I was the first one to do so, couldn’t handle school, never formed basic relationships (until I met my husband), and have the worst intrusive thoughts about my relationship and about my future. They always decide to enter in my mind when things are amazing. Moved in with my SO? Yep. Got engaged? Yep. Got married and moved? The worst intrusive thoughts I could ever imagine. I made myself so sick to the point where I ended up in the hospital and I lost 20 pounds. I didn’t get it. Why did I have these thoughts of “why don’t I want to be married?”, “what if I don’t love him”, “should I divorce him and leave”, “why do I fear for the future”. It makes no sense because I love him more than anything, cannot imagine a life without him, cannot wait to have his kids, and have the dream of growing old with him. Hell, I even have his initials tattooed on me. I have never been good with life changes, but this is new. With a lot of research and even more stress, I finally figured it out. The reason I am so distressed by these thoughts are because of how much he means to me and how much I am looking forward to the future. I had no idea that these were OCD-based intrusive thoughts. I have these ideas that I absolutely do not want to act on because I hold family, friends, and relationships so close to me, I had no idea what was wrong with me. With what I found, unfortunately it is all too common and can leave you as a shell of a person, someone you don’t recognize, and someone you hate, which is where I sit. Finally getting the OCD diagnosis that I have been waiting 28 years for has been a blessing, but also a curse because now all I think is “am I sure it’s OCD and not actually me?” Well this is not the case and what I need to learn. I am finally starting therapy to help get the answers and the support I need so I can become the best wife, daughter, sister, and future mom that I can be. My goal is to take back my life and my thoughts and stop obsessively worrying and crying all of the time. My current life is what I want and need and I need to stop my thoughts from trying to steal my own happiness. When I have good days, I have GOOD DAYS, but when I have bad days, they are horrible. If I can do it, you can do it. It just takes a community. ♥️♥️

I’m 15, I’ve been going in public places more often and men have always made me anxious, (I’m a girl) I’m not sure exactly why but I’ve always thought in my head “I’m embarrassed because I’m ugly and they’re handsome/attractive” , but recently when I’ve been going out this same exact things been happening with much younger boys, I’d say 10-20, now of course anything above 13 is fine , but 12 and 11 and 10???? A no go. And I’m confused as to why I’m anxious around them too, with the same thought in mind. + I avoid them the same way I avoid older guys- I’ve been thinking about this a lot but this seems very real and I don’t like it. But I avoid handsome guys, cause they make me anxious cause I think I’m ugly, so why do young boys make me anxious in the same way too???? It’s weird. And gross. And now I’m worried and scared.

Hi everyone! I’m new here! I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet, but I’m wondering if I have a form of OCD. I believe I have health ocd. Usually I hyperfocus on my body and how I’m feeling. If I feel bad in any way, nausea, chest pain, SOB, dizzy, i fixate on it. I was diagnosed with dysautonomia about 5 years ago which pretty much means my autonomic nervous system doesn’t cooperate sometimes, and my heart rate can get high and blood pressure can get low. (Im assuming since I was medicated the meds were helping at that time, I was on Zoloft). Anyways for the last three or so months I have been hyper focused on me passing out. I have almost passed out numerous times, and I find when I have to teach or talk a lot and get anxious it gets worse (the feelings of passing out). I think about it constantly, plan my life around it, always drinking salt water to keep my pressure up, skipping out on doing things like taking long walks, etc in case I will start to not feel well. Thursday something happened and I kept feeling like I was going to pass out, it was the worst I had felt, I had to climb to flights of stairs with my backpack to get to my car and honestly didn’t think I would make it, thought I was going to drop dead. Ever since I have been in bed or on the couch most of the time and am horrified to do anything in case that feeling comes back. I have been to multiple doctors who tell me I’m okay but these feelings don’t feel okay. I constantly obsess and panic that it will happen again. I’m worried I won’t be able to do my job tomorrow, or forever for that matter. I am so scared and feel like no one in my immediate life understands, this is so real to me. Not to mention passing out in front of people is so embarrassing, and I am a nurse educator so I talk to people and teach in front of people quite often. I ask for reassurance a lot from my doctor, family and co workers that I trust. Sometimes I feel it helps but sometimes my brain is too far gone. I also don’t eat food with my hands, that started probably about 4-5 years ago too! I have a big fear of vomiting and getting the stomach flu so by not touching my food I find in my head I run less of a risk of contracting the stomach flu. I guess I’m confused because I don’t do traditional compulsions, but thinking back when I had Covid I was obsessed with checking my oxygenation levels and heart rate to the point where my husband took it away! I’m just so exhausted and sick of this

Hi! I’ve been doing really good with fighting back against my OCD the past couple of days- but noticed my OCD is being more persistent and creative. I feel like I’m getting pebbled by more and scarier thoughts and although I’m doing well using my techniques, it’s annoying as heck. Is this something that is to be expected as I am learning how to fight him off?

I'm really scared that I have diabetes because I'm so hyper fixated on tingling in my feet. I don't feel any other strong symptoms besides this one right now. My right foot feels weird but it's not necessarily tingly or numb. I can still feel it but there's weird pressure. I don't feel extreme thirst or hunger wherever and I'm not going to the bathroom a lot. It's just this. I've been worried about this for a long time now. I'm just trying to drink water and calm down. I've always had these intrusive thoughts in the back of my mind about diabetes but I've ignored them because I thought they were the obsessions. I'm really scared

This is really weird. Although i know i haven't touched anything contaminated but i still feel like what if maybe i have touched something and that i need to wash myself and other stuff. Although my inner self tells me not to do the compulsions and i also never feel good when i do the compulsions but my brain just doesnt stop thinking about it until i do it. Why we just do (compulsions) whatever our brain tells us to do although we dont even want to do? These are not even our own thoughts. They are just hallucinations

Today I decided to not limit myself because I was uncomfortable with my POCD so I decided that I was going to be open. I went to church and there’s a bunch of kids at church and I was trying to be normal and I saw this adorable kid and I told my sister she’s adorable and she agreed and to be kind. I said to the kid “you’re so adorable”. She said thank you and that was the exchange but I couldn’t help but feel like I creeped her out or I was being creepy and I didn’t mean it that way so it’s kind of tearing me me up right now I don’t ever know if I’m going to be normal I don’t understand my feelings and my emotions I don’t know if I am a pedophile or it’s just the OCD I’ve been dealing with this for four years and it just won’t go away Another kid also came in today at church, and he looked like he was in my age group, but I don’t think he was by the way he acted, and I can’t explain the feelings that I was feeling at the time when he came in because he came out of nowhere and I couldn’t understand it I didn’t know if what I was feeling was wrong or the OCD, and he kept staring at me which was making it worse and I kind of thought. Well I’m a pedophile then because I felt like I liked him for some reason and I didn’t feel that way four years ago. So I remembered this movie I watched as a kid called little children, and there was a pedophile in the movie named Ronnie and he really did some crazy stuff in the movie but his story was basically saying you can be a pedophile in still not want to be a pedophile and I think that’s why I kind of lost it and now I’m thinking just because I feel bad or I feel guilty does not mean I’m not a pedophile because all the feelings that I’m feeling when that little boy came in to church must be true and I just don’t wanna believe it so now I’m hurt and I just want to be normal like when I was 14.

My dad yelled at me because I literally just walked away, instead of arguing with my sister I just decide to walk away but he just decides to yell at me and get mad at me and tells me no body can tell me anything because I get upset, when he literally does the same thing. He is such a hypocrite, I am SO TIRED OF BEING YELLED AT AND BEING TOLD WHAT IM DOING IS UNFAIR SHUT UP, I literally got thus behavior from YOU SO MAYBE U SHOULD CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU START BEING AGGRESSIVE AND START YELLING AT ME

made a couple posts about this recently. I have real event ocd over some careless actions I made years ago that actually ended up being incredibly hurtful and disrespectful towards someone I love. I didn’t realize the weight of them at the time. I’ve had on and off phases on feeling good or bad and just a couple weeks ago where I felt fine, but I had one trigger/reminder cross by recently and it’s snowballed over the weeks and I am at an almost all time low. I found a lot of comfort from having the hurt person in my life after the fact. I confessed what I did and did all I could to atone for my actions and prove how much I cared for them. We worked past it at first, but then a year-ish later they admitted they never really healed and now we haven’t spoken in months. That has been incredibly difficult to bear. I keep worrying about whether or not I confessed enough and went into enough detail and if I’m a liar or a coward for not admitting more. That plus just the massive regret, shame, and guilt and the worry that I’ve dealt irreparable harm to them and myself through all of this. I have been attending ERP therapy for a couple weeks and it’s been a long time since then but this is just a very low dip. I’ve felt miserable. It’s very difficult to be compassionate and respectful to myself when I really just am so upset and angry with myself. I don’t agree morally with who I was then, and am angry and felt that I’ve just thrown my entire life away and now it’s too late for me to have any chance of success or peace or redemption- if I even deserve it. I’ve gotten so hooked on judging and punishing myself but am also scared of my entire character being judged about my past by those close to me or the world around me. It takes all my strength to not reach out every day to the hurt person and just pour all my apologies onto them and try to fix it and hope they return back into my life. Idk maybe I’m just ranting and venting but it just sucks. It’s horrible. Like I’ve become this vile person, and there’s no chance for me to achieve anything I’ve ever dreamed of or wanted/ doomed myself and the other involved. I feel either so down and blue or just infuriated and vengeful towards myself. As much as I wish I would be able to heal I more so wish that I could just go back and fix everything in my past. I know that’s not healthy thinking and I know it’s not possible but I would do anything to fix this. Cause I feel like the present is so far back that how could I live the life I want. I’m gonna wrap this up so I don’t just talk in circles. I’ve said everything I wanted to and need to stop. Thanks for reading if you did. Any advice would be greatly appreciated please and thank you. I’ve been having more suicidal feelings recently and just overall hopelessness. Good luck to y’all and your journeys

I had to leave a job for the first time in my life because of OCD/anxiety and I keep ruminating on the uncertainty of getting a new job. How do I get out of the loop of rumination?

hi! i am a week into my freshman year of college, and i just realized that a lot of my anxiety is actually stemming from my OCD. for example, i am obsessing over school and completing work, and each time i finish/give into compulsions, there is something new that i obsess over. i am having issues with sleeping because of this, and was wondering if anyone knew how to help.