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working to conquer OCD
Would someone with a fear of being gay ever be a willing participant in a gay relationship and feel reassured by having gay thoughts, fantasies, or urges? Am I just confusing genuine attraction with OCD?
Prisoner to contamination OCD here and the "things" I "have to" do to stop the. feeling of some imaginary plague overtaking me just keep multiplying. The whole Covid lock down and sanitization really made my OCD spiral. I'm still wiping groceries. I can't touch anything public or money without sanitizing. I wipe any surface I come into contact with or have some kind of plan of how I will conduct myself (what to wear, if I can cover my head, come home change, shower) just to make it through, say a dentist appointment or a manicure. Yes, I can complete the tasks, but the thoughts of the ritualistic washing just looms and makes me more anxious and depressed. I know not to go into specifics here, but can anyone chime in? I only have a good day when I don't have to come into contact with things or use my coping compulsions. Unfortunately nocd doesn't have an available therapist that accepts my insurance. Anyone here have success with ERP? I just think it would be extremely difficult.
Im so tired. I don't know how will i feel better. I tried everything but i feel so bad. My heart hurts and i can't breathe. I feel stressed for no reason. Im so tired. Im really tired of everything. I want to pray without stress. I want to be in a relationship, be a healthy and good partner without stress. Im so tired. Is it normal for OCD to be active for EVERYDAY? What if i upset, use, idealize, hurt, be obsessed, cheat my partner? What if i can't stay loyal to God and be a bad servant? Or what if God takes my partner away from me? Relationship and religious ocd, but sometimes pure, meta, s.o and more. This shit is taking my life away and i can't stand that anymore. I can't do it. I can't get a therapist. It's so expensive. No one here to help me. I feel like the worst servant, worst partner and worst daughter, sister in the world. I want to accept myself but OCD makes me feel like i don't deserve to live. Im so tired. I can't even look at enviroment. I walk by looking at FLOOR because everyone and everything triggers me. I feel so horrible. I always feel like something bad will happen or something is wrong. I misrecognizing my partner or others because of OCD. OCD makes me feel like everyone hates me. Even writing here makes me feel guilty for no reason.
I just saw this video of this lady talking about coincidences and death. I know I shouldn’t have read the comments but I did. It now has me freaked out that my thoughts are facts and will happen. How do people have gut instincts? It freaks me out. Has anyone ever feared this?
Hello! I am a happy mess because I met a cool guy (I saw him once so maybe I am in an illusion) but he asked me to hang out today and I really want to go and get to know him more. On the other hand, there's two guys. I am not dating anyone, but the truth is that I rn don't want to date anyone either right now. For one of them I think I liked him in some occasion in my life and he is honestly one of the kindest people I know, but the way I like him has no sexual or corporal context. I can't imagine myself even kissing him, but I care deeply for him. The other guy is also a kind friend who helped me during one of the most difficult times in my life and we used to make out sometimes, but we have stopped it. He is kind and attractive, but I don't see myself in a relationship with him. I know that both of them liked me in the past, Idk if they still like me being honest. I contact both of them in a daily basis, the first one is my biggest company in college. I am afraid I am being a piece of shit for hanging out with the boy I met. What should I tell the 2 guys? I don't want to lose their friendship, but I don't want to fool them too. I
Do you guys have any tips for dealing with OCD when you feel like your real events 'prove' your theme? A lot of people when discussing ZOCD have a harder time distinguishing it from having a paraphilia. Honestly, I worry so much that I'm just an anti-contact z**phile whos in denial, and I think a lot of that has to do with the messy discussion around it. There are days where I feel more secure in myself and days where I feel like I dont really know myself or fear I'm in denial. I know for a fact i would never harm an animal and have no desire to. The idea of being a z**phile is so distressing to me especially with my fears of abandonment. However with my real event, I worry it's proof I am one anyway. I feel like deep down i know my events were just a result of growing up with unfiltered internet access and being exposed to things I shouldn't have been (specifically furry porn art). but I still should've known better, and that's what gets me most. I've been almost a year porn free! But it still haunts me. I might be the only one in this boat but if anyone has any advice (especially on dealing with it outside of therapy) I would be grateful.
Or feel like if they allow themselves to recover from OCD then bad things will happen? Any answers or feedback will be greatly apprecaited So I ask this question as I have struggled really bad with OCD for almost 4 years now. So bad that I haven't worked in that time and I have spent all of my savings as I have had to live off it. I am 36 now and up until 4 years ago I had always worked and had a nice amount of money saved for a house deposit. The really frustrating thing is that I feel that I know exactly what it is I need to start doing in order to get a grip of my mental health and this horrific OCD but because I don't feel worthy of being happy and free of ocd and because I've told myself that if I do then something really bad will happen it stops me from allowing myself to get better. I've had over 150 hours of councelling in the past few years aswell as some ERP but because but because off these feelings I can't seem to get better
Would you say these are fairly common symptoms of this theme? - seemingly a ‘brain breaking’ thought that comes from nowhere? Up until 25, never considered I was anything other than straight. - complete loss of libido - seemingly loss of attraction feelings for the opposite gender. - constant feeling of anxiety or that something is wrong. - inability to seem to focus on anything else other than this topic, the anxiety it causes. - loss of interest in anything that you knew you once liked. Music, games, socialising, family. - constant battle with your mind throwing up evidence that you are XYZ, which means it’s not ocd. - fear that you ‘believe’ the thoughts due to how very real it feels. And because it feels real, even more fear and anxiety comes. - constant wanting to evaluate everything you see. Men/women, things you associate as being xyz, even how you talk. - after several years, almost complete loss of who you are. Not really knowing who you are anymore, or wether you even are xyz at this point. - almost the first thing my mind does every morning is ask “are you anxious, are you thinking these things” then bang, off to the races. Are these all common symptoms? And treatment. My psych keeps telling me. “You have to just allow yourself to continue living your life with these thoughts and feelings happening in the background. Even if you believe them or they feel real. Maybe they are true, maybe they are not. Then get back to living a healthy life” But I keep seemingly getting sucked in. As soon as it feels true/real. It’s like I give up? And my ability to soldier on seems useless if it’s real/true?
Does going about your day while having intrusive thoughts and urges/sensations count as a exposure?
I see there a lots of OCD subtypes but which one would Trichotillomania fall under so I can follow it?
i’ve been having difficulty feeling a lot of guilt for past things i’ve done. such as mistakes etc. it’s even hard for me to share these things because i feel like such a bad person for them. one thing is for the longest time even up till recently there’s times i wouldn’t wash my hands after using the bathroom. i have no idea when i didn’t. but now i feel terrible for it. idk if i was being lazy at times sometimes ik my hands would be clean so i felt i didn’t have to other times i was lazy. i’m sure everyone has probably done this at one point in their life however i feel i probably did this more often. if i was cooking i’d wash my hands ofc before. but now i feel bad for potentially getting germs on other people bc i was being gross. this is hard to share bc i’m so scared of judgment. sometimes i’d turn the sink on and pretend i washed my hands when i was lazy. like i said i don’t know why and i have this insane amount of guilt for it. i keep thinking what if i put people at harm bc i was being gross. i used to babysit and i do think i washed my hands after using the bathroom most of the time or all the time but now i’m worried what if i didn’t them i’m putting the baby at risk. i just hate myself for this bc thinking back to it it’s so gross. i did this even up till i was 18 it’s not like i didn’t know right from wrong. like what is wrong with me why did i do this? and if you’re going to hate on me or make me feel guilty pls don’t respond bc i already feel very bad. i just can’t get this out of my head and don’t know why i did this so often. :/
Today I ran out of money in my HRA account so now therapy is completely out of pocket I’m scared I can’t afford to get better. (My husband says we’re fine so I really think this is an irrational fear) but I can’t shake the feeling. Maybe it’s my ocds last ditch to get me to stay sick. I keep checking back accounts and calculating how long I’ll need therapy to get better…
Good Evening, First post and glad to be here! I would like to sympathize and resonate with all who are suffering at the moment. I am really going through it and truly realizing what a monster this disorder can really be on all aspects of your life. Sending good vibes to this entire community that you find peace and comfort! I am posting to see if anyone struggles or experiences the hyperawareness fear of sounds , music , auditory imagery, or loud pitch screams or anything of that nature .I am petrified of hearing voices or hearing something that may not be there, which obviously plays into my health fear of schizophrenia. I will relentlessly play and repeat noises in my head then try and “ neutralize” them with another sound. This leads me down this intense, panicky thought loop that can play on repeat for hours on end. It gets to the point where I don’t even know what is an obsession or a mental compulsion anymore. Also , I am now conjuring up scary noises and sounds that are bringing me back to my first mental health battle 17 years ago. Wow what a memory bank! I will get the Joker’s laugh from Batman or an intense, fast bass line of a song that I fear will repeat forever if I don’t cancel it out with something else. It is truly embarrassing that I am this deeply effected randomly by noises and sounds. When I’m at my highest point of anxiety I tend to touch my ears or hold them to check and reassure myself that it’s my thoughts and not hallucinations. I also have a compulsive need to listen to external sounds /music to distract myself. I am not seeking reassurance as I know this is a serious symptom of mine and I have to live with that % of uncertainty. I thought it would be helpful to see if anyone experienced this in their journey to recovery and what tips you could provide to help manage. Thanks all! -Mike
Anyone on Prozac for ocd and does it help? Or anyone on Lexapro and it helps?
So this is why I hate this app. It’s designed to help people with OCD. But God forbid you post something that makes someone “uncomfortable” News flash: we’re all uncomfortable. You post something and people report it. So I guess only people with lesser forms of OCD receive support on here.
i’ve been cheated on and left a 3 year relationship august 18th, its now almost a month later, my dads birthday to be exact. and i went out to eat with my parents. and i kept having the intrusive thought that if my dad cheated on my mom. and now i feel like i can’t trust anybody. because i told my ex how fragile my heart was and everyday for 3 years he reassured me how he would never cheat on me. he said he couldn’t even cheat on me because he only has eyes for me and that i mean more than anything to him. he said why would he want to ruin us. and then guess what?? he ruined us and now my trust is shattered and idk anything anymore.
I’ve had a really awful day,last night I researched and I know I shouldn’t have and it was at night time, I was left feeling extremely anxious to the point I felt my insides were burning,then I woke up feeling the exact same,I started crying when I woke up and I was reching and now I feel so physically ill, my stomach hurts so much and I feel as if I’m going to throw up,i also feel so weak,and I’m not sure if it’s an ilness or just anxiety,but all I know is that I feel absolutely awful in every way
How does one live a nuanced life…it feels like everyone on the internet (and thus everyone irl) uses black and white opinions to simplify morality and I feel like a bad person if I don’t just blindly agree…all these simple platitudes that people on twitter use to make morality into this simple easy issue. I find it hard to believe that the people around me are living with nuanced thoughts on these polarizing issues until they start talking about it and I feel like my brain is breaking cause I want to say “bad person!!! Cut them off”, then if anyone is trying to promote nuance they’re “anti-cancel culture” and basically alt right…Does the world really work this way can someone actually hold nuance in todays day and age or is it just my OCD brain
Recently my rumination has been so bad that my ocd doesn’t focus on one thing. It feels like my brain is just flipping through a theme book and obsessing over every theme there could be… does anyone else suffer from this
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