Welcome to
the NOCD Community

or do we all believe we are the exception...

I got social anxiety and I’m so sensitive and I have low self esteem and low confidence. Today my professor at university asked me to explain something to the class, I didn’t know how to explain it but I tried my best, I’m not confident but I can act as if I’m confident, my voice was clear and I kept eye contact with others and I was doing well, suddenly the professor interrupted me and mocked my explanation infront of others becauseI was explaining the wrong topic(he’s actually known for bullying students), and some of my classmates laughed VERY HARD, it sounded personal as if they were waiting for a chance to laugh at me, I didn’t say anything and just kept laughing and smiling but while feeling like a loser inside It really hurt me, I felt like people doesn’t really like me and they hate to see me trying to be confident as if I’m not allowed to, and I hate myself for being weak and not knowing how to respond and for being affected by it, these sort of events really trigger my OCD and worsen it, I feel miserable, what should I do?

Im 24 and have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. He is the best sex I've ever had and we had an amazing time together on sunday. TMI but I couldn't keep my hands off of him. Now I'm convinced im putting on an act and I should be with a woman. Whenever I meet woman I become convinced I have crushes on them and I think I'm in love with like practically all of my female friends I had for years. I don't feel attracted to my boyfriend today even though two days ago I thought he was so beautiful. This gets so exhausting not knowing how my day is gonna go ever. I want a break from this and the old me back but maybe I have to accept this the "new" me....I just want my boyfriend.

Having Harm OCD is really really scare, no doubt, but sometimes I look at something and I get the most weird intrusive thoughts that make no sense at all. So if you're feeling somehow low about yourself because of your ocd thoughts, read this. So a few intrusive thoughts of mine are: The other day I was again saving a bug and I had to take it in my hand, out of nowhere my mind shouts "eat it, it's delicious" and I was like "what?" and it seemed really suspicious cause I was always afraid of bugs in food and if I would see even the smallest bug I would literally lose apetite. I also get intrusive thoughts about me being attracted to dead things or that I want to taste dead rhings *I think this is because someone told me about a person that was in fact attracted to dead things and got me shocked* and now I have intruisve thoughts like "what if you're the same as that person?" "what if you'd eat that dead dove/rat" , or "what if you'll enjoy kissing a dead person?" and many more. it's very gross, I know but also suspocious of what ocd trying to do cause I have always been a person that wouldn't even touch a spit, now I just got a thought "what if it's not your ocd talking and you really like those things?" and it's funny because it's like ocd is trying to get his job back I also get intrusive thoughts like "people would look better murdered" and again, this is what I hated the most When I save bugs and all of the small things I get intrusive thoughts "it will be so easy to kill them" and even tho they are bugs, I get distressed because "what if" I do it cause they are small and have no power or help and it makes me sad I also get intrusive thoughts like "how do you know a life really matters?" or "how do you know they are real and matter?" . And somehow I am scared that I am going to be judged but this is just my ocd so ocd can be like that. I lost the counting on intrusive thoughts and I was really tired so I said to myself "do you want to beat this or let ocd beat you?" and as many suggested, I just let the thoughts come and go and I stayed in discomfort. Now I feel a little better because I have hope. So you should have hope too. Good luck!

I just don’t understand. I’ve been on Prozac for two weeks. The anxiety has somewhat subsided. It still crops up though, and the ‘what if’ questions are still there, along with intrusive images and statements. And my brain has now twisted it to seem like I’m actually thinking the thoughts and want them. The groinals have been really bad but I’m recognising that I don’t want them. But I’m still scared this is an awakening when I really don’t want that at all. I’m constantly on edge and not sleeping. The false attraction is the worst. Every time I resist doing a checking compulsion, my mind will flash to an image of a girl the SO-OCD has latched onto and say ‘but you have a crush on her!’ ‘you thought she was pretty!’ when I don’t have a crush on her at all and the idea of it makes me feel distressed and scared. I could use some advice right now.

I have a question for the people who have been traumatised to some extent from their OCD experience. How do you not be scared of it? For me, OCD took away all those things I hold most dear with "I don't deserve" thoughts. This included emotions such as love, excitement or just feeling happy. All these things are what I turned to in the past to deal with highly stressful events and now I suddenly didn't deserve them. The anxiety that came with this was horrific. 6 months after the flare I still haven't gotten over the fear, I have a relapse and I relive it all over again. How do I not be scared of it?

Hey everyone, I have seen therapists and been on medication. Neither helped me. Sadly. So I have a weird OCD. I have the typical contamination and health OCD. However, I have a huge fear of hemeroids. It's so odd and I haven't been able to find any information about it. Some say it's a eating disorder because it controls what I eat, how much I eat. I use do have a fear of bad food, you know you eat the wrong food and your Ill the next day. So there were many times I wouldn't eat. Or I'd eat my "safe" food which used to be bread. But now my fear of hemeroids, I can't eat pizza, without putting veggies on it and sour cream. I don't really go a day without eating some type of veggie or fruit. It started when I stopped taking Imodium. Which is odd because it used to constipate me like none other. I was really constipated which never worried me. But after quitting it... I worried and I had rituals. Bath every night. Stuff like that. I used to have wipes id use. Anyways fast forward I got over it a bit and it wasn't a worry. I used to work out 5 days a week. Drink protein shakes. Etc. Then did beauty school. It wasn't a big worry. Then I met my husband and we had our first child. Sadly we lost him at 16 weeks and after that I completely changed. I got obsessed again. But then got pregnant with my second child and I didn't have worries, had her and learned that I had a grape sized hem or skin tag. Once I was able to feel again it was there and wouldn't go away. Granted I was cut with no numbing and lost half my blood. It was rather traumatic. Then had my second child. Almost died while pregnant with her. Blew out discs. Broke ribs. It was bad. After them... I've been pretty bad. I can't even do anything with my husband in fear of hemeroids. I used to take photos of down there. I don't anymore. Now I just check. Which makes it worse because if I have no swelling I'll have swelling after checking so often. :( I haven't read anything about this type of OCD but it consumes my life. It consumes what I eat. How my day goes. If it's good or bad. It makes me stressed about any photo jobs I have, or any jobs I do. I used to barrel race and I loved life. Now I'm stressed and feel worthless because if I feel something there.... I worry. I worry it'll be a hem and be strangled and get bad. I'm worried it'll get a cut on it. I'm worried I'll sit wrong and irritate it. I'm worried I'll get constipated and have issues. My husband gets them with his IBS and he's just like whatever. But me, it ruins my life! I want to get over it. I want to be normal again. I just dunno how to. Because it's a physical sensation that even if it's not there it is. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm wondering if anyone else's POCD primarily revolves around teenagers. I dont see this discussed often but it's oddly a big fear for me. My POCD makes me afraid I'm attracted to teenagers and I have a fear of growing older and realizing I'm attracted to teenagers. I'm 21 and I dont even want to date 19 year-olds or be attracted to them because it makes me feel like my fears are confirmed. I get incredibly anxious. I feel like most people's POCD revolves around young kids but for me I'm terrified of hebephilia. I also couldn't find anything when I looked up OCD related to this, it's making me nervous it's not my OCD ..

My religious ocd has been flaring up again. I’m afraid that the only way to get over it is to not be Christian at all. Is anyone still a Christian who has overcome or greatly reduced religious ocd?

Aside from exposure practices, what other practices have you all been successful with?

I’m so done with not being able to afford help. I have a family and kids to take care of. I cannot afford therapy with my shitty insurance through work. I am so tired of suffering with anxiety from OCD. I hate OCD! I hate anxiety! It’s like you make too much or too little to get the damn help you need. Life is awful!

Super long post! But I hope it helps someone. Just to note off the top, if you're looking for reassurance here, you're probably not going to find it (sorry - but that's the point!) I've been seeing a lot of posts here with the format "I've had X thought -- does it mean anything?" or "I've had Y feeling and I'm afraid it means ___". If you've had OCD for some time, you know that the follow-up to checking or reassurance seeking is "are you sure?" It might sound like a bit of a bummer, but no matter what kind of reassurance you get from those kinds of questions (and trust me, I've had my fair share!), OCD will never have enough. That sounds really harsh, but if you stick with me for a bit, I promise it gets more hopeful towards the end (and in a way that doesn't require providing reassurance!). OCD loves to take intrusive thoughts, feelings, or urges ("I just had a thought that I could hurt someone") and focus on places where there's doubt ("how can I be sure I don't hurt someone?") and then tries to play out each circumstance with complete certainty ("well that must mean X which must mean Y which must mean Z"). In a way, this kind of "playing out the future" is a way to cover up the uncertainty we all have going on in our everyday lives. With ERP the goal is to allow ourselves to embrace the ambiguity at the start - "I just had a thought that I could hurt someone, and that COULD mean Z; but also maybe not." One thing that OCD often forgets is that thoughts aren't actions - they're just random! YOU get to CHOOSE what your thoughts mean. For example, I might have the thought "I'm going to make a peanut butter jelly sandwich". Does that /have to mean/ I'm craving a peanut butter jelly sandwich right now? Nope. Does that /have to mean/ I'm going to make one? Nope. Does that /have to mean/ that someday I'll be a chef that specializes in making peanut butter jelly sandwiches? Nope. Try to practice: "I had thought X" --> "that might mean something, it might not, AND I get to choose what it means". At the end of the day, I get to choose whether or not I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Try it out sometime: "I had thought X, which I think might mean Y. That may or may not be true AND I can choose what it means." It's important to recognize the difference between that and reassurance seeking or checking - which would look like "I had thought X, which I think might mean Y. I HAVE TO figure out what this means and make sure it's okay". When practicing this it's also important not to get yourself in the loop of "I MUST choose or figure out what this means RIGHT NOW." I've found that reminding myself that I'm an active part of my own decisions in my life gives me a sense of agency that OCD is working really hard to take away. By saying "I can choose", you're taking away the certainty OCD wants you to have about all of the catastrophic outcomes and giving yourself the room to embrace the ambiguity of "hmmm, OCD, I hear what you're saying, but I'm not so sure." It's not easy, and it's not something that will come naturally at first! But be patient and kind with yourself and treat it like you're training your mind to be resilient. You got this!

Hello!! If you use scripts, do you record yourself with an app, write them down and read aloud, or?

Sorry to keep posting here people. I'm feeling pretty hopless right now. I don't know what to do anymore, my I don't deserve thoughts are extremely intrusive right now about everything I do or feel. I don't have the energy to deal with them and I just don't want to deal with them... I know that me not wanting the thoughts is making them stronger, but I've been doing this for too long and I just don't want to anymore. I've got an emotion too, it's horrible and feels like something just isn't right. I got no idea what's triggering it, it's just there

So, Im looking for therapy in my country. But there all like "3 moths". I have ocd for 18 years now. I have soooo many themes, how can I ever tackle that in just 3 months. I know the tricks but i cant do it alone when a new trigger comes up, i get overwhelmed and need a therapist. Is it weird that i feel like i need therapy for maybe my whole life?

Guys is there something we can do when we got tired...we can't do compulsions then what can we do...I need an escape right now...nothing is exciting me...what can I do ??

In the start of my recovery I deleted TikTok because I felt like it was detrimental to my mental health. Now that im starting to get better I am unsure if I want it back. On one hand I feel like I’m wasting less time and have less negative thoughts being pushed on me because in it’s peak it felt like the algorithm on that app was curated to make me more anxious/scared. However on the other side of the coin is not using this app an avoidance behavior showing that I’m not really healed just using compulsive behavior to avoid being triggered

I have recently started a new job and i have a male colleague. I am so convinced i have a new “crush” on him but i have a boyfriend. I find myself sometimes looking for him and my heart will drop if i was to see him. I’m hoping this anxiety is because i don’t want to have a crush on him. I don’t know if this is my rocd or not. Is it possible for my ocd to convince me i like him and that results in me wanting to be near him even though i love my boyfriend so much. I don’t think i can carry this guilt anymore and i have been considering breaking up with him as i feel like such an awful person. I don’t know what to do i feel so upset

Cw// mentions of animal abuse (note it's of drawings and fake animals stuff but still) When I turned 18 I started digging into communities like 4chan and sites like it to look at the art that was there which ranged from bizarre disturbing furry r18 content to little cute ponies being hurt, idk why but I was drawn to it, like it freaked me but was drawn to it I never hurt or abused anything nor wanted too, like I would stay up might upset if I saw stuff of irl animals being hurt. But I git so desensitised to the internet, it wasn't until mid 2021 that snapped out of it started staying away from those sites. Ironically enough I later got into happy tree friends Either way I regret being looking at and interacting with that side and gen wish I can take it back

Hello, I'm currently going through the absolute worst time of my life mentally, I am living in a constant state of TERROR of what feels like the onset of schizophrenia or another horrific psychotic disorder. I do not have any delusions or hallucinations that I know of, but l've made a few posts explaining some of the symptoms that I am having, if anyone cares to skim through them. I just wanted to see if anyone could maybe share their story or experience if they've ever gone through this same theme? I am seriously going through hell. All the stories that I do see about people who went through this, it didn't seem that serious and they got over it in like a week or two, and they only seemed to describe being hyper aware of stuff out of the corner of their eyes and noises and stuff, that's it. It just feels so so much more severe than that in my case. Please someone pm or comment your experience. I've almost fully convinced myself that I have it or will be full blown psychotic in no time