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I don’t know if it’s ocd or if it’s a real realization or change

Anyone else’s shower routine take forever?like I don’t know if it’s related to OCD or not but this is my routine,so I get in the shower wash my hands rinse the bottles under the shower so there’s no stuff on it then I shampoo my hair and condition,use a wet cloth to wash my ears very thoroughly which takes like a minute 😭then I wash my hands again then I wash my face and then I wash my hair bobble then tie my hair up and wash my body and I have to get every crevice like inside my belly button in between my toes,scrub under my nails with a clean brush which I soak in bleach so it’s 100% clean every time I use it 😭I use a loofah and I wash it after every use and then I exfoliate not every day, and then I wash my body again and then I wash my hands again and then I get out the shower and make sure I don’t touch any door handles or anything and then I do my skincare and put deodorant on and that takes forever too because I spend like a minute doing it to make sure it’s fully applied and then I wash my phone then wash my hands again then dry my hair and get into bed,I don’t know if this is part of OCD or not but saying this out loud sounds very excessive 😭

VERY TRIGGERING MY THOUGHTS ARE ESCALATING

I just wanted to put that today because I can't believe how much this horrible thing has messed my life up and I'm so angry at it

Does anyone on here with a traditional view of marriage suffer from HOCD? Just curious.

So I don’t really no what this is or if I deal with it completely or how to deal with it. Obviously if it’s an intrusive urge it’s something unwanted but is it possible to “semi” act upon it? Or of curiosity? (But not do something extreme) like if anyone else saw it wouldn’t look like you did anything terrible but you know that you did it? I don’t know if I’m making sense… but does anyone ever get curious about the bad thoughts and urges? And does that mean it’s not ocd but it’s something else/worse that needs to be dealt with? I really want a therapist to see this lol I also feel relatable to my curiosity I had as a kid when it comes to being kind of aggressive. Like one time I pinched a baby just to see what would happen; I feel bad for it now. But i worry about stuff like that within myself that may not be ocd because I don’t want to turn in to a monster that does terrible things to kids or people. But I feel like I’m looking for excuses to keep doing little things. Even thought I don’t want to want that. I want to be normal. I think. I hope.

I have existential OCD as well as avoidance OCD. I’m not sure what to call it actually, but I have had a lot of issues with social rejection, and struggle with excessive rumination, avoidance, and maladaptive daydreaming. I have made a lot of progress with doing exposures, especially when it comes to my fear of the world and the future. That being said, I still feel so alone. Before I knew I had OCD, I still had an understanding that I had a huge issue with perceived social judgment. I have been telling myself for a long time that what people think about me doesn’t matter, it only matters how I feel about myself. I have tried to engrain it in me and for a short while, I even got a false sense of confidence I had never had. At the end of the day I still feel so ashamed and embarrassed to be myself. I have a really hard time trying to like myself. It makes everything harder. I don’t enjoy eating. I don’t enjoy playing guitar anymore because I don’t feel good enough to even play it. I don’t enjoy taking care of my body because I don’t enjoy being in my body. Taking a shower feels humiliating and wrong. Interacting with people makes me feel like a fake person. My head gets so clouded and I don’t even know how I come up with responses. I feel like I am on the verge of letting the mask slip simply because I’m too exhausted to hold it up anymore. I haven’t told many people I have OCD and have been struggling with persistent depression because I don’t get taken seriously. It feels like being mentally ill is a trend now, therefore people don’t take it as seriously when you say you have something .. I don’t understand how people can romanticize something like that, because my mental illnesses have done nothing but scare people away and attract people who want to use you. In what world do people want to go around bragging about that and then shut down people who are legitimately mentally ill because it doesn’t fit their fantasy. I cannot let people in my life know that I am not okay, but at the same time I am cracking, and I feel close to panic way too often. I feel like i’ve had to fake every positive emotion for the last year and intermittently almost my whole life. I know that what I am complaining about is touching more on depression than OCD, but I don’t really have anywhere else to get this out. I also wanted to know if this was normal? I have, regardless if how I felt, done my exposures, tried to take care of myself as best as I can, and still continue to work towards a future career. I feel like my compulsions aren’t as strong as the used to be (some days are better than others) but I still feel like a shell of a human being. Has anyone else experienced this as they were progressing through exposure therapy?

I once heard from a fellow psychology major that people with OCD get songs stuck in their heads easier than others. I know this is definitely true for me because I have a song in my head probably 90% of the time (no exaggeration). Does anyone feel this way? I’m interested to know.

anxiety is night tonight it's to do with past events and uncertainty so i'm feeling about down

Ok so there has to be a reason my body sometimes does things I don't want to spontaneously like doing a quick movement that I know will bother/somewhat "hurt" my cats, like I'm not doing it on purpose my body just like sees my cat and acts on its own before I can even react and stop myself. I feel super guilty afterwards and pet them to make up for what I've done. And I do have OCD, one of my theme being harm OCD, specifically about hurting my pets. But this isn't OCD, it has to be something else no? I read about impulse control disorder, but it doesn’t seem to fit since there seem to be a buildup of anger or something, it’s too spontaneous to be that in my opinion, I also found something about depersonalization but I don’t really feel like I’m spectating my life.

Does anyone else have a fight or flight response to an ocd trigger that makes you yell or snap like an angered response, but it's actually just fear and lack of regulation? If so, what do you do?

So my ocd is raging today. I have had a lot of intrusive thoughts that really disturb me but I don't get anxious from them anymore. I know I don't like those thoughts but why am I not getting anxious from them anymore?

It's this time of the year, the spooky month, me personally i like this time of the year... i dont know why, but I like the spookiness, maing pumpkin latern(even that im 22...) and i even enjoy watching scary things this time of the year. I don't live in usa so we dont celebrate halloween here, but i would like to dress as something scary and go to a party or have fun somewhere with others. But then some christians say that "real christians shouldn't celebrate Halloween cause its demonic, its preaching satan" and it makes me so angry and it makes me rumminate... How dressing up as a man made scary creature that doesnt even exist would be satanic? How thats preaching the devil? Some christians judging so quickly, if death is involved in something, its satanic, its preaching the devil... As i said i dont live in usa so i just saw halloween in movies, anf i never saw anyone preaching the devil. Of course if someone does a ritual or satanic things, you should avoid that, but dressing up in a scary costume and have fun with people isnt bad, i dont understand why people say its satanic... Christians shouldnt be afraid of the devil, the Bible says to avoid things that preaches the evil(that would be rituals and witchcrafts) but nowhere says to be afraid of the devil, cause God is way more powerful then anything... remember he made them too...And christians always come with the "God says do what is good and lovely" well do you go out and harm people? No yall having fun, maybe there are some satanist who celebrates this as the day of the devil but for other people this is just a day when you dress up for something and you have fun... Its like alcohol, the Bible never said to never ever drink, just dont be an alcoholic, this is the same, dont join rituals and witchcrafts, but you can have fun in a respectful way to others, and if this triggers you to be afraid of the devil then okay you can skip it but dont judge others as satanists if they celebrate it... I know this will be a big obsession for me this month cause as a said i like to watch scary things before halloween and i like the whole thing but since i became a christian its very triggering... Also i want to hear your opinion, expecially from people in usa

Harm OCD is making me question my kindness. I've always been a kind person, put everyone else before me. Since Harm Ocd, I see everything different and I don't know if it is from the disorder, but my mind is constanly thinking about "Why to be kind and not evil?" "How do you know you like to do good more than to do evil?" or "Try evil stuff 'cause you will enjoy them" .. I aslo get sensations of "truth" and I am scared.

Can OCD make you think that you don't love people? my thoughts perssuade me that I don't have feelings. It's not true. sometimes everyone feels aphathy right? but because I have felt it too, now I think that I can't love amd feel in general and etc. Is it relatable to you?

Do people with ocd also have obessesive thoughts of friendzoning their boyfriend/girlfriend? It's been bothering me so bad it doesn't stop. I repeat myself that my boyfriend is my lover my soulmate the one I want to be with romantically. It made me view my relationship as friends and it's bothering me alot. I don't want my boyfriend as a friend I want him as a lover. That's why he's my boyfriend duh. I told him and he said don't worry! It didn't stop it still stuck with me. I have been arguing and trying to fix these thoughts for the hours and hours. I become relief than I end up spiraling then relief than spiraling. It made me feel like a bad girlfriend because I love my boyfriend as a lover! I want to marry this him. After a few hours of ruminating, I decided to play a game and teamed up with this friend who is a boy and ik it was gonna be a issue for me because I'm gonna end up having obessesive thoughts soon but I only view this friend as yk friend obviously. But then I started to have thoughts of liking him or secretly liking him and it made me panicked because I felt like I was cheating on my boyfriend and stuff and I started to have these unwanted feelings and I hated it. I left and has a anxiety attack. I was crying because I really didn't want to friendzone or cheat on my boyfriend. Then my obessesive thoughts just made me believe I was crying for the boy I was playing with and making me think I had these secretly feelings for him and I started to panick more because that's not true!!!. I don't have feelings for that boy I never did I only have feelings for my boyfriend and I only love my boyfriend!!!. I don't care about that friend I have a boyfriend!!!! But it's making me believe it so much and I feel like I did have this false crush on this boy and now I'm scared that my boyfriend is gonna end up having a crush on his friend. I feel like I messed up I'm trying to tell my mind that I was crying for my boyfriend and I was crying because I was scared of leaving my boyfriend or cheating on him and also crying because I didn't want to have these false crush on a boy again.

Is anyone a checker? It’s one of my biggest compulsions. So exhausting. How do you deal with it?

Whenever I start talking to a guy if I don’t know if I like him or am not excited when he texts me it automatically makes me think I’m a lesbian. My mind starts telling me that I wouldn’t feel like this if it was a woman. And I get images and scenarios that feel real and like I like them/want them. I’m so confused all the time and feel like I’m going to be alone forever

I have Rocd and I keep on getting a bad feeling in my chest about my bf like to where I have anxiety! The feeling is telling me he’s doing something behind my back but I have his insta and snap passwords and everything! I don’t know what to do I almost wanna look thru everything which I kinda have already! I don’t know what to do bc I hate this pit in my chest feeling and I’m scared it’s not OCD

I often fear hurting my fiancé but I often don’t avoid because I can’t we live a in a small home but my first instinct was to go back to my dads because I didn’t want to hurt her. But I know that’s not something I really want and that I love her. I do tend to tuck away in my game room a lot and I don’t know if that’s my way of getting away from her but we sleep together so I don’t know if I have just gotten used to being around her no matter how much the thoughts bother me. Is this a normal thing?