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Are there natures remedies for anxiety and guilt? I’m experiencing more anxiety at this time of month and I’m getting honestly fed up with nothing helping

It feels so real, i feel like i’m realising my true sexuality. I don’t even know what i’m doing on here, i know my past themes were ocd but this one no. It feels too real. I’m remembering things from my past that prove it even more and i hate it, sometimes i think i should just accept my true self and stop clinging to men. I’m doing so badly tonight, and ERP is so expensive, I just want someone to talk to who knows about ocd. It gets really lonely stuck in my own head.

I'll use the bathroom at work...wash my hands with 3 pumps of soap...shake my hands 3 times...use 3 paper towels to dry my hands. I'll open the door to leave but I'll turn around and go back in 3 or 4 more times, making sure I didn't drop anything on the floor. When I buy a snack at the vending machine, I have to walk back a few times times to make sure the machine reset so nobody can use my card after me. When I leave work, I lock then unlock the door 3 times. I'll even write on my hand all the closing duties I've done, and then check them off. But still won't trust it, so I'll do it again a few more times. When I'm at home, it's not as bad. Except for when I leave for work in the morning. Stuff like making sure my hair dryer and air fryer is unplugged...3 different times. All of this shit adds up throughout the day and it's making me miss out on other things in my life. I know it is. I need HELP. I'm also a binge eater who loves fast food. I know my bad eating habits contribute to my OCD and anxiety. I hope so. Because it would be an easy fix if it were. But i know it runs way way deeper than that. What can I do? I feel like if I don't stop counting, something bad will happen. :,(

I haven't gotten my typical ocd symptoms in a while since I had changes in my life. But since a few months something strange started happening and it's getting significantly worse. I get some kind of fear of choking every time I'm eating something complicated. In the beginning it was when I didn't have water to drink while eating. Now it's not just fear of choking, but fear of stop breathing in general. Nowadays when I eat I start getting very stressed, feeling pain in my chest, like my heart is racing from stress, and my esophagus gets thicker or I feel it that way, and I can breathe, but I really fear swallowing food. It wasn't life that before, I always ate peacefully. The worst is, I actually choke with good now, but I think it is because I get nervous and I don't swallow properly. These things happened to me while I was eating in public but now it happens to me alone and currently.

Does anyone here struggle with real events around their POCD? I didn’t physically do anything bad, I have a few questionable memories that are tearing me apart. I’m also having some “memories” (it is like 50/50 on whether it’s real or not) that I touched myself while watching a really really disturbing scene in a horror movie (a scene that involved a child). I have no idea if it’s real or not. I was struggling with drinking around the time and would often drink while watching things, and I’m afraid it led me to doing something disgusting. I’m sorry I’m just feeling really distressed today. Like all the progress I’ve made is undeserved.

I’ve been in my relationship for almost 9 years and I’ve been married to him for one year. I love him so much, he is such a great man so patient and caring and kind. And I’m very lucky to have him honestly I feel like it’s really hard for people to find someone they love so much they are willing to do anything for that person even though they may get on your nerves sometimes. But unfortunately I’ve been experiencing rocd I’ve been doubting how I really feel about him, if I actually love him, if I love him “enough” rather I want to be with him, I’ve been questioning what if I end up liking someone else? What if I do like someone else? What if he isn’t enough? What if that’s why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling? Feeling guilty at the same time because I feel like he deserves the world, and I feel like I’m letting him down (although he has been super supportive) I feel like I’m not giving him what he deserves. And it’s been an ongoing anxious feeling like a ball of fear in my stomach crying asking god why, having panic attacks and constantly fearing the worst possible outcome. All I want is to be able to be happy again and sit with him and live our lives happily and forget that this ever happened but it feels impossible. It’s like I know I love him and that I want to be with him but I can’t get these thoughts to go away. And the thought of “you’ve been with him for so long if it was actually ocd this would’ve happened awhile ago” keep getting to me or feeling like what if it’s not ocd? What if this is actually how I feel and if it is then how can I move forward with him? I don’t like talking about how I feel much besides to him and my closest friends, and it’s really hard for me to fully open up but I want to be able to share how I’ve been feeling so that maybe someone on here can feel not so alone. Everything I look up for rocd it happens a lot earlier within the relationship and everyone has their version of it. And it’s hard to find people that just start experiencing it way later in their relationship so I really do hope that someone that is going through the same thing sees this and just knows their not alone and I really hope I don’t trigger anyone else. This is something that is awful dealing with it’s like living in your personal hell. It’s by far one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with, I’ve been feeling so exhausted and drained today. I’ve been very sad and just very gloomy today (I also deal with depression) and I have tried everything to make me feel better but it’s just one of those days. Everyone stay safe and you’re not alone, I really hope that each of you overcome your ocd for the better.

They say don’t care what people think Be yourself Do what you want to do But what if I don’t know I don’t know who I am What I want I don’t know myself People say “your nice and pretty” But I can’t help but think Am I? Do people really think that Or is it just for show Just to make me happy It doesn’t work U want something out of life All I have is 14 years of regrets My friends My hobbies My life I regret it all I wish I could take it back “Just move on” they say But how How can I How could I A quote I always say is Your biggest mistake is not having one But I don’t have to worry about that Cause I have too many mistakes Lots of people don’t like me They find mistakes I don’t remember making There is always something wrong Something to dislike about me I don’t wanna die but I don’t want to live like this I’m excited for my future but scared of my past How do I move on I haven’t done anything threatening Or horrible But it’s just stuck in my mind Those little details matter to me I feel like I’m just here Not doing any good Not doing any bad I’m like a robot Just there when you have no other option I’m always last pick My thoughts cave in I cant breath but I can I’m in pain but I’m not I show it but I don’t I tell people everything which helps Until they take it the wrong way Or use it against me So I tried keeping to myself Which already hurts me But on top of that People know something’s wrong People don’t believe me when I’m sick anymore Everything has to be mental now Whether I break my leg Put me in a cast and then ask what’s wrong with me They think I know the answer? They just think I need a “mental break day” Which don’t get me wrong I do But I was actually sick People didn’t believe me I’m not faking it I feel dead inside but too full at the same time How is that even possible Two years ago I didn’t have a single issue Life was great Till my sister got anxiety last year And joint issues Then all the attention was on her You do the dishes You take the dog out You go get me a soda But when I would ask why I had to do everything all the time It was hey, stop complaining and just do it Your wasting time Well my whole life is a waste at this point so why does it matter My knee hurts No that wasn’t allowed To them I was just copying my sister I got diagnosed with depression and my mom just laughed She didn’t believe the doctor Cause only my sister could have problems She had to be the golden child But I can’t be upset I’m the youngest The favorite But how do you know I’m the favorite Just because the stereotype for a youngest child is the favorite golden child doesn’t mean it’s always true Just because I wear bright colors doesn’t mean I’m happy I want to be happy I just want out of the house But I can’t till I clean my room But I can’t clean my room It’s a big old butterfly effect Except this butterfly is different Too faced we could say I don’t like those butterflies I like the ones inside of me That flutter every time he says hi That’s what truly makes me happy But if I talk about him to my “best friend” She gets jealous “Everyone always likes you” “Stop bragging” “It’s not fair” It’s not fair for you? Seriously that’s why your mad? Life isn’t fair That’s one moral I know is true I cared so much about you but did you always fake it back to me Clearly you don’t know me I don’t know if your even my friend Let alone best friend Trust me You don’t want to be me On the outside I may be “pretty” But inside I’m dying I feel like im stuck in a burning building Except no one’s coming to save me I’m left to rot out “Just talk to her” they say But how If I do it will make her feel bad and hurt I don’t want to hurt anyone especially her And then she will find something bad about me Something like a mistake And there’s that butterfly The bad one That causes more problems than needed At this point My whole life is a mistake No one can change my mind Because in the end me and that butterfly are the only ones who truly know what has happened

I have contamination OCD. How am I supposed to do ERP when I feel like there’s poison everywhere? I can’t live like this anymore but ERP is terrifying to me.

l have rumination and intrusive thoughts OCD. Is this something that gets worse as you get older? Other than medication, how can I deal with it in a healthy way? To give some context: I took a professional IQ test and scored 158. I have ADD which makes me feel like a spastic idiot most of the time. I never ruminate over contamination or harm of any kind. It’s always the same “death and my own mortality”. Also, I get song/lyric loops stuck in my head, all day, every day. My job is very intense and I don’t live near a city, making it very difficult to get professional help/help from someone with excellent credentials, who specializes in my OCD-type. I would greatly appreciate any self-help tips.

Am I really these thoughts? It feels like I am. It feels like I’m this monster and there’s nothing I can do about it

I have OCD ever since i could remember. My earliest onset was when I was 4/5 yo (I'm 20 now). It's getting worse as time goes by and the most notable relapse was in the first-half of 2022. Long story short, I was a freshman in university at that time. My OCD was so bad that I would use avoidance as my coping mechanism, I dropped absolutely everything, isolating myself from everyone, and that made me have to retake most of the courses in my 2nd semester, along with other implication. I have gotten back up now, and i'm mostly thriving. I'll also start ERP next month after a tiring search of OCD therapist in my country. My question is, how do you deal with the grief of the life that you could have lived if not for OCD? I was also having such a hard time with so many life changes at that time (loss of home, living with low income family, etc). So many missed chances and potential that I know I could take if I wasn't relapsing. I used to be a high-achiever before, even got into the #1 best uni in my country. It's so hard when everyone notices you struggling too. I used to just deal with my OCD (i didn't know i have one for most of my life) and stressing 24/7 while still achieving things. I didn't know what would come in the future as this has always how I operate most of my life.

I’m still starting to learn mine. They include… - Accidentally Doing something embarrassing or shameful in front of people you look up to (even small things) - Feeling super insecure on a day - Spontaneously get a message from someone who I like. - Waiting on someone I like to message me back. - See/hear/think of someone who is in trouble (in pain) and I get this feeling like I need to help them urgently!

How do you explain the unexplainable? How do you confide in those who don't understand? And what do you do when they believe they understand but just cut you deeper? And I'm not referring to OCD here, by the way. This is something I try to figure out everyday without success for the past 2 years, and I don't see it ever changing. I've never suffered so badly as I do right now...

I asked for reassurance from the stranger I was having what if thoughts about. I feel crazy. I feel like I’ve failed, I couldn’t handle the unknown. I’ve been fighting so hard for no reason it feels like. I feel kinda gross too. Like asking for reassurance and going through all of this alone.. without my boyfriend knowing anything. He has no idea I struggle so badly. He has no idea of the panic attacks and how hard I’ve been fighting. I wish I could just be freaking normal. I’m 25 and have little to no mental stability when it comes to ocd. I feel like I could break in half at the drop of a needle.

What is everyone’s favorite alcoholic drink if you drink and if not what is your favorite kind of juice!? i like beer honestly and good tropical sweet cocktails like lychee martinis!

I am dumbfounded by how my whole life has been laced with OCD, and I never thought my anxiety was OCD-esc, since that’s not how it is portrayed in media or discussed in society. I also never truly gave therapy a shot for 25 years since I didn’t think I was mentally ill enough. It took being diagnosed with severe ocd, and depression that made me take a step back. I was not expecting OCD or depression, since i thought i was just a “high strung anxious individual” and since i do, on paper, enjoy life - how the hell could i be severely depressed (when literally i spend an allotted 5 hours a week on crying and being a disgruntled emotional mess) I’ve been through 4 sessions of therapy and each time I cry, even though I never think I’m gonna when i enter the session. I’ve been told i ruminate and all the planning, and thinking and attention to detail and journaling on journaling is not helpful how does one stop ruminating? when rumination is the only thing i do in my brain i am ruminating about ruminating if i don’t keep myself occupied with some form of stimulus i’ll think myself into a panicked state anyone break free from rumination, or have any perspective to share thanks 🫶🏼

I can't seem to find someone going through what I am going through, so if you are 1) currently worried that the Israelites are special in some way compared to the Gentiles (or similarly about men and women, etc), and 2) no verses seem to completely disprove your worries, then please let me know! Especially if you, too, don't feel heard whenever you talk about this. I thought I heard that some Christian women sometimes feel off about the whole men being the head thing, but I haven't seen anyone having a hard time about it like I have a hard time about my somewhat similar situation (I'm male btw)

I feel doomed. I don’t know if God is real. The ocd shows me no other option that He isn’t. I read my Bible every single day as a routine not a compulsion. I just don’t understand why it won’t change. It causes me to question all things in existence to the point of making me feel like this isn’t just ocd it’s schizophrenia which is then going to cause me to never know the truth or my family or why I am here again. The Bible explains why we’re here but my brain says it’s not enough. This world has been flipped upside down to me since 2020. I am exhausted from all this misinformation we have now. It breaks my heart. I just want the Lord to help me. I don’t want to question who He is and I don’t want to believe what my mind is saying but it feels like I have no hope if I cannot distinguish between what is false and true. I just don’t understand how this could even remotely be a good thing but God says He will finish a good work that He is started. I just find it so like. Untrue. Now. Like. I don’t see Him 😭😭😭. And day 7 of dreary weather. It’s making me so angry today. I know that’s the anxiety but I’m just fed up. I’m tired of the lies feeling so real to my mind that my reality gets distorted.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ this happened 2 years ago after i was sexually assaulted, it started of an obsession for me where i was scared i would do the same thing and i was overthinking and kind of physical contact but this memory of feel like i did something wrong, my mum was coming to say goodnight to everyone and i think this was a compulsion and i put my hand spread out on the bed and i thought if she leans over she will see the hand and i remember thinking it will be okay and then i remember she leaned over and he r body actually touched my hand and i remember i froze and i don’t know why i didn’t move there was lots of thoughts racing and i thought if i was touching her private area she would of moved but she didn’t but im scared i did and i don’t know if it was just her stomach don’t know, but this has plagued me for so long i remember wanting to commit suicide after it happened and i couldn’t sleep the whole night and i was extremely distressed the the point of self harming my self, in the moment when it happened i completely froze i don’t know what happens but i know for a fact i wouldn’t of wanted to make my mum feel uncomfortable or anything and in the moment it’s like i blacked out i don’t really know it’s very difficult to explain but i told her which i know was a confession and i shouldn’t have but she said there was nothing wrong and she wouldn’t lie to me, and i remember telling her and she was completely unphased and even hugged me, but i feel absolutely broken i don’t know how i can heal from this or if i even deserve to

I'm trying to fill out my hierarchy and I keep running into things that I thought were just me being weird. How much of me is me and how much is OCD? Is there anybody left after you remove the compulsions?