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With Harm OCD, is it possible to obsess over a thought so much, that the brain acts it out subconsciously via sleepwalking?

I keep thinking the worst will happen in literally every situation I'm in. I especially worry about infidelity from my partner and I know it sounds wild, considering they were my best friend before we even dated. Being cheated on, for me, only took one time. Once. And I was completely messed up from it and haven't learned how to let go of it and just...heal. I don't even think I tried to heal from that; I think I just shoved it under the rug. I'm looking into therapy now. I used to go every 2 weeks and that lasted me (consistently) around 7 months. Which benefited me a lot. I just don't think there's a lot my partner would lie to me about. This is what gets on my nerves about OCD; I've always heard, "Oh if you feel that badly about it then go with your gut feeling!" What if your gut feeling is literally always assuming the worst? It just hurts because literally NOTHING bad has happened and I don't believe it ever will. I just get upset bc it's like what am I supposed to do? I can't just come out and say all this or what I'm actually thinking about bc it's gonna make me sound insane.

I’ve been struggling with these feelings for months. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and it’s been a struggle. Not because of her, but because of outside circumstances most of the time, but a lot of our issues stem from my mental health. She’s been incredibly strong and has dealt with so much but she’s out some of her needs aside to help take care of me and help me. It’s been a lot on her. She got me out of a really bad relationship that I was in for 4 years and I think I put her on a pedestal. She stayed with me despite me going to a mental hospital for two weeks because of my OCD (that I hadn’t been diagnosed with yet) and how I was obsessively thinking about breaking up with her but knew I didn’t want to or at the very least I didn’t want to hurt her and on top of that I was having suicidal ideation and still do now (after our big talk I walked to all of our old spots we walked to in the beginning of our relationship and I nearly jumped off of one of them) Now I’m having issues determining what’s OCD and what my actual emotions are. I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with her (which is ridiculous because she’s literally everything I’ve ever wanted) or if I’m just really mentally Ill. We made a promise that no matter what happens we’d be at each others weddings. She’s my best friend and I’ve been able to be silly with her recently but we’re in a rocky spot where we’re taking a break over winter break and I’m not allowed to tell her I love her until I know I mean it. I don’t expect anyone to have any answers, but if someone can help me understand and tell me if you’ve had similar issues and how you got through? I have trouble remember a lot of this year and I think I have a lot of unfair connections in my head between us starting to date (in January) and how bad this year has been. I don’t know if I healed from my ex because it was immediate (I’ll be honest, I cheated on my ex with my current gf, which I have a lot of guilt over but I knew she was different and my ex tried to strangle me over Mario party and cheated on my twice.) It’s weird when I feel like I can’t remember any good parts of this year and most of my happy memories were from when we’d sneak around and very early in our relationship. I had a really bad drug experience that was a big catalyst for my mental health but anyway I’ll stop rambling on, it’s be nice if someone could relate to me. TL;DR: I’m having massive amounts of relationship OCD that makes me question if I love my wonderful girlfriend and I’m scared that I just don’t want to be with her anymore. Help.

Hey OCD community, I could really do with help writing an ERP script. Although I have health anxiety, I found a lump in my breast and went to my doctor and it turns out he’s not fully sure if it’s cancerous so has referred me on for further tests. Naturally, my OCD is spiralling and going into overdrive wanting to know if it’s benign or not etc. my rational brain knows I have to wait (that could be weeks) to get tests carried out but in the meantime, any guidance on writing a script would be really really helpful as I am very upset and ruminating loads. Thanks in advance

I have horrible harm intrusive urges and they are getting so much worse. It’s feeling like I’m about to act on them and that I’m so close to doing it. It also is starting to feel like I want to do it. I am really doing my best to accept them and not ruminate but I am really struggling and nothing is helping. I am very scared because it feels like I am getting weaker at holding myself back and I want this to just go away. Any advice would be great.

Me and the guy I’m seeing had a tough conversation last night, and now I feel terrible. He was telling me how I’m quite sexual and when he isn’t I get self defensive, which I’ve realised is because I’ve not had a proper relationship where I’ve had someone interested beyond a physical level. So him saying that sex isn’t the most important thing to him it makes me suddenly question if that means me. And now I’m sat here scared for our relationship as I’m worried he’s saying he’s not into me anymore. It feels that way and I know it’s in my head but it feels so real. Him saying we’re okay just doesn’t feel true. I’m too invested in him and now I’m being told that the way I go about sex doesn’t make it feel special I feel bad, I didn’t realises I was doing that or that he felt that way, but years of using sex as a way to feel emotionally secure or connected has ruined me finding it okay to do it in any other way. I don’t know how to feel connected with him when we aren’t, and that’s all on me I know that. I’m worried I never will, like right now I actually want to cry because I’m so scared to loose him but I feel embarrassed. He told me not to be but I really am, I think I’m ruining everything and I feel it my entire body feels it and I’m so so worried

I struggle with having things I don’t want to be thinking about in the shower. Even why I try to think of other things like what I plan to do tomorrow to keep my mind busy. I try to ignore anything bad that comes up and focus on what I want to be thinking. But I’m bothered because a song popped into my head from an olllld YouTube video that I watched as a kid that had a kid in it and I didn’t even realize at first and then I freaked out like wait no no no I don’t want to think about that in the shower. I tried to rationalize like ok, I recognized I DONT want this and I stopped this in my mind before it continued, this shows I don’t want this. But I also feel like I’m in denial and making excuses. It’s just so hard when this happens because I mean I’m in the shower it feels so much worse to have things I don’t want to think come up. Why did that even pop up into my brain? Why did that happen? I hate showering or changing because I worry about something bad popping into my head while I don’t have clothes on. Does anyone else have this? I try but it’s moments like this that make me think I can’t live like this forever. I don’t want this it’s so miserable. And I feel like I’m not worried enough I just feel tired of worrying.

Does anyone else find TikTok overwhelming for OCD? The algorithm seems like it’s built to trigger OCD, I always get stuck on videos that I know I shouldn’t be watching and then hours go by and I’ve turned my feed into my own personal hell of whatever I’m obsessing over. I recently got my feed to be more positive, but I still find the speed and intensity (colors, music changes, information, etc) of some of the videos to make my heart race so badly, even after I put my phone down. This can’t just be me **also I’m new to this app, definitely an upgrade from TikTok!

I miss my life before ocd. When I would never wake up in a cycle of overthinking and worry and the moment I open my eyes till the moment I sleep, it’s non stop intrusive and unwanted thoughts. It scares me, I don’t want to live my life like this forever. I cry so much, as I’m sure most of you would relate. My heart just feels heavy, that’s the best description I can give, I feel like I’m just existing not actually LIVING. (Not an existential theme) I feel like I just bring everyone down around me, my mental illness has an affect on those around me and though I can’t help I am mentally ill, it takes a toll on me when I KNOW I’m hurting others when they see me so sad all the time, including my daughter… I’ve been dealing with this for somewhere between 1-2 years, which doesn’t seem like a long time but when your life is this constant never ending doubt every single day sometimes all day long, it feels like forever… I just want to be HAPPY. Is that too much to ask for? To just feel genuine happiness and not have these obsessive ego dystonic thoughts 24/7, or at all… I try and keep my head above water and just keep swimming, I wish I could see an ocd therapist but im sorry even with NOCD, it’s TOO EXPENSIVE. I live in Australia so don’t have access to Medicare through NOCD therapy… what options do I have. I’m at a low point, trying to function every day and distract myself from my head by cleaning, looking after my daughter and dog, doing little activities to occupy my time. But there’s only so much distracting you can do I guess.

In the past I’ve had my therapy weaponized against me by my parents, more specifically by my mom. She has made comments like “your therapist needs to do her work faster,” “obviously your therapy isnt strong enough,” “go back to therapy.” These are just a few I can remember and phrases I only hear when my mom is mad at me. I go to therapy once a week for OCD and its not something that I discuss openly with my parents. I just had therapy today. My mom and I got in an argument today because I was mad she was dismissing something I was saying and walking away from me. I got mad and said “thanks for listening.” Her response was her angrily telling me to go back to therapy which I know is her way of saying that I’m “bad” basically and i’m the problem. Anyways i reacted really poorly and with a quick trigger i said “screw you” and she lost it sobbing. My dad screamed at me. I do feel bad for saying that but I have consistently had therapy weaponized against me as a reason that I’m such a terrible daughter and so “poorly behaved” that I just snapped. Growing up I was always called a “brat” and “snotbag” and even a “bitch” by my mother and my brothers. I had terrible behavioral problems because of my home life and was always iced-out for weeks/months by my family when I did something distasteful. My dad one time didnt talk to me for three months. I guess I just really need help because me saying “screw you” today got me into a lot of trouble and I feel really bad and tried to apologize but just got yelled at more. My parents dont understand how it hurt me and made me immediately defensive that I was told to “go back to therapy” just because i was mad about not being listened to. Also I go every week and my mom know. I dont even know if I actually am a good or bad daughter. I guess I just need honest opinions because if I am the problem I dont know why I cant control my behavior

Sooo, I am exactly two weeks on this med today and noticed what looks like a canker sore underneath my tongue… I can’t help but think that it’s a side effect of my med? But then I also think that I’m overreacting? I am the most indecisive f*cking person in the world and-I literally cannot stand myself most days. Part of me just wants to say “whatever, you deserve to be in pain, don’t go to urgent care” but I also don’t want to be in pain… baaasically… has anyone ever had a weird/similar side effect while starting fluoxetine? I feel like I’m losing my mind with anxiety right now…😐 like it’s pain that I can withstand, if I had to, but then again, maybe not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😑😑😑

Nobody really gets how I feel, no matter how hard I try to explain it. I feel so lonely.

I used the bathroom, washed my hands, and changed into my pajamas. I washed my hands a second time shortly after and then when I was done, I noticed a drop of water had gotten onto my pajama shirt at some point. I'm still not sure if: a) It splashed onto me during my second handwashing session (which I'm fine with) b) It splashed onto my stomach during my first handwashing session and transferred to the new shirt when I changed clothes (which I'm still fine with) c) It is toilet water that splashed onto my stomach when I went to the bathroom, then transferred to my new shirt when I changed clothes (which I'm not okay with at all) I know the water is likely from possibility (a) or (b). I never felt toilet water splash on me, and I spent a long time washing my hands both times. After washing my hands, water splashed a bit when I went to dry them, giving plenty of chances for water to splash on my shirt then. And if toilet water had gotten on, me it would probably never even show up on my new shirt because it would have dried by then, hence the drop probably wasn't toilet water. But it doesn't matter. The possibility of it being toilet water still terrifies me, even with all the evidence against it. Because of possibility (c), I decided to change my shirt a third time...and then the third shirt brushed against the spot on my stomach which would have been wet in the first place. I decided to not change shirts again. For a moment I was able to tell myself "it's OCD." But internally I am freaking out, because now I doubt that. I don't know if I'm endangering my family right now. I feel so lost. I feel like something always goes wrong and it ends up consuming my thoughts for hours. I just wanted to relax tonight, but my brain keeps repeating "What if, what if, what if," repeating everything that happened over and over again, repeating this internal debate about the situation with myself. I feel like I can only resist the physical compulsion of changing my shirt at the cost of my own sanity. Because I can't stop ruminating. I have no idea how.

How long do you do them? It just doesn’t feel like I’m doing them right. My level of distress doesn’t seem to change when I do them. It feels like I’m waiting for something to happen, but nothing does. Anyone want to share how you do exposures?

I was on an erotic site and this woman wanted to do stuff with me. She was in a relationship with another woman on the website. She said that she wanted it and that she hadnt done it with her wife in a long time. Long story short we explicitly chatted online but i feel guilty because of the experience. She said i didnt ruin her relationship but i feel like an evil person for doing it. Am i a bad person for this? Someone told me that because its an online chat site, that i have nothing to be sorry about but... i still feel like a horrible bad person who doesnt deserve love...

I have recently been having harm ocd really bad. I have bad thoughts and all I think about is how to get rid of them. I feel like a horrible person and the more I have these thoughts to more I want to cry. I just want it all to stop but I can’t get it to. And the more I confront my ocd the more i want to cry because I have this problem. I just want my life to be normal again.

I talked to my therapist at school today we talked about my family and my mom and how i was abused I told her that my mom always thought my dad would assault me even though he never did and she thinks I would do the same thing I don't talk to my father that much but he never assaulted me it makes me feel sick thinking about it I want to cry for what happened to me as a child with all the abuse but I can't And I feel bad having to tell my therapist what happened she said it's okay but I feel like I'm hurting her feelings by telling her these things

So I’ve started cooking for my family, since I’m unemployed and live at home I want to cook dinner for the people I love for when they get home, but I’ve discovered an issue; my ocd has really latched onto cooking, especially with meat, like I get horrible anxiety and intrusive thoughts about it somehow not being cooked enough or I’m defrosting it wrong it’s going to grow bacteria, and everyone who eats my meal is going to get horribly sick and die. I feel the need to Google a million times how the meat is looking and that it’s supposed to look that way, I’m quadruple checking the recipe to make sure I didn’t screw up, and right after I just double checked my brain goes “you might have read the measurements wrong, check again” and THAN after I’ve checked at least 10 times I want to confirm with somebody else that the food looks fine and I’ve read the recipe right. It’s horrible, I end up sobbing while cooking cause I’m terrified I’m gonna get everyone sick and I’ve mentally exhausted myself from compulsively checking and all the intrusive thoughts. I will say there’s a major silver lining: as soon as this started to happen I was able to see it for what it is, another ocd theme, and while it’s been really difficult to cope with, I don’t feel like I won’t be able to get over it, or lost on how to tackle this theme, I feel certain I’ll get over it, and I’ve never had that confidence before 🥹

The triggers I’ve worked on with my therapist have disappeared for me. Now there are new triggers popping up for me. The primary subtype combo for me is: - Self Harm + False Memory (I can’t remember if I’ve accidentally harmed myself) In both cases, these worries are always false but they feel very real. One thing that helped was getting my vitamin levels checked and realizing I need to take b12 supplements. When I take my b12 every morning, I don’t experience as much OCD. Also, reducing coffee intake throughout the day has helped. What has helped for you when dealing with new triggers? How do you avoid OCD from occupying your headspace?

18+ please. so I was on twitter looking at adult content (I’m grown) and I clicked on a profile and the first post said “high school baddie” I saw the caption and DIPPED I barely even saw anything thank God but I’m so done with this. Like why can’t people be normal. I wasn’t looking for this at all and I feel so horrible. I can’t do it anymore. I feel so guilty. It’s so disturbing. I don’t know how I’m going to recover. I feel absolutely horrible. iwkms,istots.