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I had the fleeting thought of what it would be like to be a woman, and now I'm overthinking about being possibly transgender.

Is anyone else scared to recover because that could mean that it isn’t OCD? 🙃🙂🙃🙂

some of the many issues with OCD i have is having a whole routine before bed, but this routine isn't just making your bed comfy or making sure to shut the window though these two are also important, it's brushing my teeth for at least 10 minutes or i don't feel clean, making sure i've checked my wardrobe properly, make sure the draws in my bathroom are shut and i cannot physically go to sleep if i haven't slammed my door open at least 5 times. i need to do everything in patterns of five or my mind won't be comfortable. i'm very young still in school and i've told my parents about these reoccurring thoughts constantly but they don't really think it's a big deal, but it takes over my whole life and i swear by it and i just wanted to know if there is any way at all just to make the thoughts a little less overwhelming for me and not as constant, i just feel hopeless at the moment like i will never be able to stop these thoughts. thank you.

Unable to sleep, my area was making me anxious so I started cleaning at 7AM randomly. I don’t have a problem with cleaning, convincing myself I’ll have a long deserved shower to wash away germs. However, my cleaning process contains an entire system of what needs to be done first to prevent cross-contamination, going from least dirty to dirty. However, my dad did something that made me visibly angry, placing a pack of unused sponges I had used for the process, was right next to the bottle of face cleanser I use daily, right after I finished cleaning everything spotlessly. Distressed that my daily cleanser was next to something where germs could be roaming around, even though they had been completely new sponges. I wasn’t sure what to react in that moment besides obvious frustration spurring in my head. But I thought a little too much about how I should feel, and then I told myself, “Should I be angry? Well, yeah! After all this work I put in?” I’m an 18 year old, but I felt like a child had just came out and groaned into a tantrum. A child-like tantrum unlocked inside of me. I gave my mom an earful about my dad’s actions. I wasn’t actually mad at either of them but angry at what happened. Through my own lengths to avoid it, I poured the contents of my cleanser into a new container and discarded the old contaminated bottle. Because of this, this is the big reason I keep most of my own products in my room, nothing out of greediness and pettiness, but the possibility of contamination. Overall, I felt a lot better after a deserved shower, but I never knew how my temperament could spout the frustrations of that of a child. I feel a kinda bad for reintroducing my 4-year old self to my parents at ten o clock in the morning so I’m going to treat them to a salad lol.

I hope this is okay to put here, I feel awful. I also feel like it doesn't belong here. I just need to get it out somewhere. So there's a huge social problem with what's called a fetishisation of mlm (gay people and relationships). It's basically where predominantly females engage in for example fiction with gay relationships. This is not necessarily bad on its own, it's when these people view the people as just objects in the relationship and it changes their view (negatively) on real mlm people. Also when women read it just for their own enjoyment of reading two men being together. So the thing is, I read lots of fiction and in fact 100% (pretty sure) is mlm. For obvious reasons this made me panic because I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that gross person and the thing is I do understand. It makes sense to me why it makes people uncomfortable. Some people say it's bad under all circumstances and that they will block you if you're like this. Again, I understand. Others say it's fine as long as you treat gay people with respect in real life. Which I like to think that I do. I have noticed that I tend to think female characters have less depth and are less interesting than male ones and I feel bad that I think this and hopefully I am able to change that. Hopefully it is only due to the fact I've always only read things with mlm in. I just wanted to watch my favourite show's new season again but then I started thinking what if I'm just fetishising mlm again. I don't want it to get views from something bad I've done so I started reading up on Tumblr and I think it is what I'm doing, I hate it with my whole heart and I so understand why people find it gross and terrible and I hate that I might be part of it, I just want to enjoy the show and I love the characters but I don't want to now. I just feel so guilty I don't know why I'm like this I just want to be good and respect everyone why can't I just enjoy it why did it have to make me bad? All I want to do is enjoy it. This show, it's my safe space. My happy place. And I can't live with myself. I love it so much and I don't know what to do. It's my favourite thing ever. I'm just so angry that I've turned out like this. Thank you if you made it this far. I just don't know what to do.

As an adult i’ve always made sure that the people i’m around are also adults, especially in regard to dating and relationships. (as i should, there is nothing wrong with this) Very recently i had an epiphany; there are tons of calendars in use around the world, and there are multiple ways of calculating ages across cultures. This has led me to freak out Should I just assume that everyone uses the same calendar and age calculation system as me? that seems irresponsible, because there is possibility of that not being the case. If i meet someone online and he says he’s “20” then what does that mean? Do i assume he’s referring to the age standard I use? Or do i have to do intense research regarding all of the age calculation systems and calendars across the world? This has been causing me a lot of distress and would really like some advice.

Is it just an excuse for people who rightfully feel guilty for wrongdoing? My therapists and loved ones have assured me that nothing I did was abusive or traumatic to anyone, but it's hard to listen. Is it time to forgive ourselves if we've received this type of assurance? I know reassurance seeking is bad in OCD, but you have to have at least some idea of how others view you I think if you're going to move on.

I woke up feeling super off and now I just can't control ym thoughts and I'm spiraling and freaking out I think I need someone to talk to

Dr has prescribed me Lexapro for ocd until I can get in to see a psych eventually, I’m about to start therapy in January aswell…. Was just wondering if anyone has had positive experiences with Lexapro? I know everyone is different, so maybe I could just ask for anyone who has found a medication that works for them, I just wanted to know a thorough explanation of how it makes you feel & how it has helped with your intrusions/ocd… I am quite nervous to try it because of side affects and fear it’s just another trial error phase…. I have quit smoking pot and going to stick with taking it same time every day where as in the past with 2 previous meds I was still smoking and not having a routine with when I took the meds. So obviously it didn’t work properly… can someone just give me a bit of hope, please?

I’ve been in a relationship for 1 years with a smart, funny, amazing woman. There’s a two year age gap, I’m 28 and she’s 26. We met on tinder, so I knew her age and hobbies before we met. She could pass for 16 quite easily, although I could pass for 18 as well. The problem is, people give us looks and reject us at restaurants and bars all the time. Just yesterday we went for dinner, it was an “order at the bar” place so we waited at the bar and while everyone coming up was getting served, we were ignored. Finally the girl working there said “we can’t serve kids at the bar” and looked at my girlfriend. Another time someone asked us to fill in a questionnaire about our experience at a mini golf place. He asked how we were related, “Sisters??”. We said no. He asked ages and I said 27. He said “no way you’re over 20” then looks at my girlfriend and says “and this child?”. She even got ID’d at the cinema a few months ago for a rated 15. It makes me feel violently ill. I see her as her age, always have. My friends and family have never said anything about it other than we both have “baby faces”. I deal with intrusive thoughts about everyone and everything but the POCD ones are the ones that control me and lead me to hate myself the most. Has anyone had a similar experience with a partner? I’ve also found her own family speak to her like she’s a child and it creeps me out even more. They’re very controlling and aren’t happy she’s even dating at all. Only this year did they stop tracking her phone. In their house, there’s no locks, not even on the bathroom door. They message every hour or so asking what she’s doing. I feel for her the most, because I’m insecure about one of her insecurities. Isn’t that fucked up? This is a woman with a masters degree and a full time job.

I cant live with myself every day im riddled with guilt and shame My boyfriend and i were messing about and he was doing stuff to me and when i tried to reciprocate he said “not today” because he said “hes wearing jeans” and then he said “theres not enough space” but i was like no its fine we can go to the back and i was like “take your jeans off” then things escalated even more and i asked if he had a condom and he passed me one and we had sex BUT i felt like i was so pushy about him taking his jeans off so i messaged him in the evening and apologised incase i was and he replied with laughing faced and said “no youre fine 🤣” But i cant help thinking im a rapist and i couldn’t live with it- i would never want to hurt my boyfriend i love him so much Please someone give advice

I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good about not letting the intrusive thoughts take over during the day, because there are things to do. I can let it scream in the background while I go about my day. But at night when I go to bed…this obviously gets more challenging. How do you guys handle intrusive thoughts at night? Do you guys have an evening routine that helps relax you? Since ruminating is my primary compulsion, this can be difficult for me. Maybe I should start doing a nighttime meditation every night to help me fall to sleep?

hey so im currently suffering with what i think is pocd and false memory but i just feel like i haven’t heard of anyone else going through exactly what i have which makes me think is it actually false memories or have i done this awful thing before and my brains just trying to block it out ? i’ve recently had to leave my job because of this i was working in a school but was coming home on a night time and going back on my every footstep each day convincing myself i had done some awful things and i really couldn’t take it anymore, im so scared to be by myself incase i convince myself i have done something and when my brain tells me i have i cant help but believe it and the more i go over and over the situation the blurrier it gets which convinces me more something bad has happened and i must just be blocking it out even though deep down i know i have not i think it doesn’t help either that i dont have an ocd diagnosis so i constantly say to myself what if its not ocd and ur just trying to convince urself it is it all feels like a never ending cycle to me and i really cant see a way out right now, how am i ever going to know for definite i didnt do these horrible things ? i also think this all stems from my fear of being away from my family and prison and the fear of prison and being away from my family overtakes the fear of being a horrible person which is the main thing im struggling with today because i am constantly saying to myself what if you dont feel guilty about the thing you think you have done your just more worried about prison does this make sense to anyone has anyone been through something like this 😞

Has anyone intentionally gone without friends? My friends have decided to dump me without an explanation and I just don’t feel like going out of my way for people right now. On the one hand I do have some projects I can work on with the free time I’ll have but on the other hand I worry I’ll become cold, cynical and mean.

I often get images of disturbing things in my head rather than having a fear that I’d do something to someone else. Does anyone else experience that? Like I’ll have a flash of people’s privates and then it sends me into a panic and I have to move quickly 😞

So I’ve been trying to no longer desensitize myself from animal cruelty (That being said I understand this is privileged and some people only can afford/eat meat for whatever reason) BUT I grew up NEVER eating meat or fish or whatever I had dairy and eggs sometimes but my mom had ethical issues with eating dead animals and so she passed down those values to me Now that I know cheese and eggs come from the moms of those who are killed at slaughter houses I don’t know if I should be a full on vegan or not BUT mainly right now my OCD brain is telling me kill my own dogs since their food has meat in it and so for the greater good to save more animal lives I need to kill them And it also got worse for a second and said to hurt my mom as well since she feeds them I don’t want to hurt anyone I don’t want to contribute to the meat industry I WANT TO SLEEEEEEP any advice?

I have this special event this month in wich i wouldnt be near My boyfriend Thing is that today i was like joking with my boyfriend about a girl that told him to "smile more" in the last camp he had, after that another friend of us told me "imagine You have to sleep with her un this camp and she tells You to "smile more", the context of that, is because i was jealous because she gave My boyfriend a note that said "smile more" and her Instagram :(, i'm scared that might mean something and that it might come true.. like, what if what he says is like a prediction of the future..???

In the summer, my apartment became infested with fleas because of my neighbor. I will also admit that I had no idea I was supposed to give my cat monthly medicine for it so she got fleas too. The whole situation was awful and I ended up terminating my lease because of how poorly it was handled but I’m still struggling so bad with thinking everything is contaminated including my cat. I ended up moving in with my parents and they had fleas in the house for about 3 weeks since I had to bring my cat to their house. After moving in, I took my cat to the vet and was told she didn’t have fleas or any signs of fleas and I haven’t seen any in over 2 months. I’m still convinced they are there even though they aren’t. I’ve also just developed a phobia of any household pest that can infest. I don’t want to go to wooded areas or hotels in fear I’m going to get lice, fleas, or bed bugs. I check every black spec of dirt and I have eczema on my legs that inspect as if they were bites. I don’t know what to do because I’m in a constant cycle of being convinced the fleas are gone and then being convinced they’ll come back. It makes me so sick I throw up and I even lost weight because I couldn’t eat.

I feel like this one issue is making me crazy So I'm talking to someone as a potential date and some of our conversations have gotten a little lewd and suggestive. Without giving too many details I'm a support worker for vulnerable adults. I'd never respond to such messages around the people I support. But one day because of how the schedule went I had a break from the person I was supporting for a few minutes and responded something kind of lewd when they weren't around at all and I was walking back to my car. Idk if it's because I was technically still on the clock even though I wasn't with them for a bit but I can't shake the feeling that this was horribly wrong and completely inappropriate and it's driving me nuts going back and forth. For context there's also some things around relationships and sexuality where I'm also unsure of what's normal or appropriate because of an extremely sheltered upbringing and some trauma. So things like this that are probably no big deal to most people I'm so unsure about. Unfortunately my therapist isn't available this week but I'll definitely talk about it with her next time. But in the meantime I was hoping for some advice or thoughts.

Honestly I’m so scared. What if my special interest (a person) isn’t as great as I think she is? I’m so scared. I want to cry