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Does sexual orientation feel like you in the closet?

I feel like I’m a bad person

When I get really stressed I obsessed about that I never vill sleep again. I'm so fucking tired of it. It's hard because I have a lot of autoimmune diseases so logically I also know that I need sleep. Which making it worse because that tells OCD that I'm right. I do all the classics things, telling my self that I can go one night without sleep, that I can cancel the important thing tomorrow etc. But it doesn't not help. It makes it worse. It's not about sleep it's about me worrying about a lot of real stuff I don't want to think about so I think about that I will never sleep again. Any ideas? I know I will feel stressed and it will be a lot for me to handle tonight. But I don't want to give in to my compulsions. That's all. I want to take the fight. I just needed to tell some one and know I'm not alone. I've done it before with OCD so I know I can do it. It's just so hard when it's all in my head.

Everyday I spend my whole day convincing myself I would never hurt anyone. I run through all the reasons I never would I don’t have a history of any harm, I love all the people I’ve thought “what ifs” about with my whole heart. Constantly begging god to show me a sign that promises everything will be okay. I’m exhausted I feel so scared of myself everyday. I’ve thought these things with most everyone but I stay home with my little girl and that’s where the life shattering fear comes in. I’m just tired

I don't think I experience intrusive thoughs anymore, just the constant feeling that my fear it's true, every though I have doesn't seem egodistonic, I just react like it's the truth, and I don't want it to be but it's not like I have a choice

i read some things about ocd and the different types of it and symptoms and I can honestly relate to them (im not trying to diagnose myself with ocd but I think I have a type of ocd) lemme explain: so like this been happening since the summer. me and my best friend did something sexually together and me and her afterwards wasn’t okay after that and she told me how she felt afterwards and after that I felt totally disgusted and sick about myself and that’s when all the intrusive thoughts started. I keep having the urge to kill myself everyday I keep thinking about death and it’s getting to the point that I can’t eat because after I eat something I immediately think I’m gonna die because I ate something. When I’m at school or in public I have bad anxiety and thoughts about me dying. And after the situation happened with my friend (I’m Christian) I just feel like God is so disappointed in me because what I did. Nobody knows this situation. Nobody knows what’s REALLY going on with me. Im trying to stay strong but it’s getting really hard to im at my breaking point the thoughts are getting worse and worse everyday I wake up with these intrusive intense thoughts. I want help. But idk how to help myself. I try to go to my mom for help she doesn’t understand me nobody understands but me.

Hi guys I struggle with ROCD a lot and I change from so many ROCD themes. Right now, I’m worried that my fiancé is abusive. He will never ever cuss at me or do anything crazy, but I find that when he is mad (not at me, just in general), he will start like hitting things. Like for example, we were studying and he was trying to figure out some code for his comp sci stuff and he couldn’t figure it out so he starts like hitting his chair. I’m really really worried that I’m going to end up in something abusive. Again, he does not ever cuss at me or yell at me and he is very understanding when I bring a concern, we’ve been together 3 years now. I just go online and I type in “my boyfriend hits things when he is angry” and I see the domestic abuse thing pop up so I’m really freaking out

I really struggle with knowing when to do erp and whether to just push through because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and dysregulated in life that it’s like why add more? It’s almost like flooding oneself purposefully. I don’t know if I need to tone down the exposures or what to do ?

How long were you in treatment before you felt that you didn’t need treatment anymore?

does anyone else feel happier and peaceful when they aren’t in any relationship so they isolate and feel happy and think they don’t have OCD. which makes you believe that it’s the Person that’s not good, but then you go into another relationship and Boom OCD relationship happens again and you feel that you haven’t learned anything.

I fear I’ve reached the end of my road. I’m scared. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live. I’ve struggled with depression for years I’m 27. I can’t see away forward. OCD has consumed me. It sounds nice to not suffer anymore.

How do you reduce your anxiety when you feel like your ocd/anxiety is getting overwhelming? I had a anxiety scare an hour ago, but that went away quickly when I found out that I was worrying for nothing. Now that I feel relieved, I still feel a bit anxiety. I'm almost getting emotional because I feel like my anxiety is trying to latch onto something else at the moment and I'm scared.

I have always been a person who believes in signs and everything happens for a reason. This makes OCD even harder because I am constantly seeing everything as a sign that the thoughts are true, and I even set up signs by linking unrelated events. One random example, I will say something like ‘if I go outside and the first car I see is red then it’s a sign the thoughts are true’ or if I browse the newspaper online and the first article I see is related to a car then it means my thoughts are true.’ These are just a couple of examples of magical thinking. A car and SO OCD are completely unrelated. The thing is the law of probability is these things will happen at some point, and if they don’t for a few times and then do, I focus on the the times they happened and see it as a sign from the universe, even though other times it didn’t happen. These are just two examples of many examples. Can you relate to magical thinking? I’m also constantly seeing signs in quotes, music, tv programmes, anything related to relationships or sexuality trigger me. I always think the universe is speaking to me. Please know I’m not homophobic, I have a brother who is gay and friends. Although, they trigger me somewhat at present because of this theme. I actually believe sexuality is on a spectrum for many people, but I am in a relationship with a man who I love, so these thoughts disturb me for that reason. I have had various subsets of OCD since 7. I was diagnosed at 18 with harm OCD and have a history of body dysmorphia and eating disorders which are part of the same obsessive family. OCD loves to latch on to what we value most i.e relationships and sexuality. It attacks our happiness. OCD has haunted me in one way or another for most of my life. SO OCD is by the worst subset I’ve ever had.

It’s so frustrating when you’re doing so well, but then experience a bad moment. Lately, I’ve been off and on with my harm thoughts. There’s days where I can allow it to coexist and go on with my day perfectly fine, but then there’s others where it’s too hard. Tonight is one of those nights. My whole demeanor and mood instantly changes when it starts to overwhelm me. I get so much anxiety which makes me thinks it’s nothing but thoughts, but then my feelings say otherwise. It’s like I never have a definite answer on whether this is truly me and even if someone tries to persuade me it’s not, I don’t feel better because it doesn’t feel like it. With my germ anxiety, I’m able to remedy it with music and distractions, but with my harm thoughts I have never been able to find something that instantly makes me feel better. On nights like these, I’m glad I’m able to come here without feeling scared that someone is going to judge or insult me for what I’m going through.

It ruins every single day I don't feel like I'm self I have no self worth left I'm a constant mess I'm constantly panicking I can't do this anymore everything triggers me every single day is something new iv been struggling with this for ten years every single day is hell I haven't even eaten in days bearly I spend days obsession and my partner has to help me and it's putting strain on our relationship I can't even express how low I am and how I can't do this anymore I'm constantly having. Seizers from stress I ocd In my sleep it's constant hell everything triggers me I can't do anything without conpoltions I'm constantly in fight or flight and frozen in fear every single day I can't do this anymore

Whenever i have some trauma or i am going through a very hard phase of life or people's behaviour upset me, i just want someone to talk about it. Is this also a part of ocd or it just means that i need emotional support? I really want someone to listen to me without telling me i am wrong. Sometimes people hurt me too much and then they just act like they did nothing and i am overreacting. This made me an ocd patient that made me thinking all the time why someone just don't understand me and put themselves in my shoes for a while so they would feel how i feel but i have learnt something in my life that nobody can genuinely understand your pain unless they have been through the same. I just want open communication on everything to be clear. My mind gets confuse.

I always wonder why I have OCD. It’s odd that I don’t have any trauma or family history (except for anxiety and depression) And im medically healthy. It confuses me.

I cannot seem to stop the cycle and I’m questioning how much longer I can manage like this. I keep having a symptom, or so I think. It’s not super consistent, and when I’ve gone to the doctor to explain it, I feel like a crazy person. Its sharpish, tingling pains in my stomach that do seem to be more present when I’m stressing and hyper fixating on them. But sometimes just pop up on their own. I won’t notice it for a few days, and then I’ll feel a twinge in my stomach and absolutely have a freak out over it thinking it’s some stage 4 something. I’ve stopped wearing certain clothes and working out because I’m afraid of “triggering” it. I feel like I can’t even distinguish between what’s real and what’s not anymore. How will I ever know when to actually go to the doctor for something if i don’t know that what I’m feeling is even real? Has this happened to anyone else?

Accept uncertainty and question your assumptions about worst case scenarios. Recognize all or nothing thinking and practice taking a step back. It's tough, but we can do this!

I kind of concluded that this event that happened when I was 6 was rape but now my ocd has latched onto whether it was rape or not or whether I was responsible for it. My mom left me with this baby sitter who's kid was 11-14 and he was a sociopath i swear. I remember he'd constantly ask me to kiss him and I'd say no whenever I could and he'd like badger me and I would do it because I was scared and he knew this. He tried to make me give him a bj and I'd keep saying no and he was like "otherwise I won't be your friend" or other things. Either way I was really scared of him and I think it was fairly clear I was scared. This other time he made me have anal sex with him saying other wise ghosts will come and hurt me and I was like 6 and believed it. He also said he'd kill NY parents or hurt my parents if I said anything so I didn't. The whole thing felt super coercive and he'd generally bully me or scare me in ways. My ocd is like well you shouldn't blame him it wasn't rape and it wasn't sexual coercion but I think at 12-14 you know not to force six years Olds to do things and the fact that he threatened me means he knew it was wrong but my ocd is latching onto this.