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Does anyone here struggle with faith? How do you manage it?

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is related to my OCD but idk what to do about this feeling and it comes from a feeling of not being in control of a situation, so I figured it might? If anyone has felt this way or has any tips I'd greatly appreciate it 😕 Basically, my husband and I were planning on having a lazy outdoors day today with our toddler, so I just threw on some leggings and a t-shirt. He ended up showering and dressing nicely and he looks very nice, but because it went against how I envisioned how we'd look today now I feel underdressed and sloppy, and I feel gross because I didn't shower too (he doesn't ever make me feel this way btw, it's a feeling that comes up for me often when things aren't how I expect them). What bothers me is that when this kind of a thing happens, I get like unreasonably upset like wanting to cry, and I don't know what to do to resolve the feeling. I want to change my outfit but I also don't want to, I feel bad about feeling this way because he does look nice and I don't want to make him feel bad for that, I feel physically uncomfortable in my clothes now, I feel like if I change outfits now it would be stupid. Sorry for the ramble 😞 I know it all sounds really silly but these little spirals really suck and I could use some advice. Again, idk if it's related to my OCD but I figured I'd put it here because most of the stuff I experience is related to my OCD so maybe this is too.

is this existential ocd? so basically i’ve had rlly bad moral ocd for a couple of months, and before that i had horrible health and harm related physical compulsions so bad i couldn’t sleep bc i couldn’t sleep in a certain position or i thought smth bad would happen to me. and i always had bad intrusive thoughts but nothing that haunted me as much as this. So my morals are rlly important to me and i consider myself a good person. But one intrusive thought said “since life is meaningless morals don’t exist they are just a made up concept.” I had severe panic attacks because of this and i felt like a horrible person. I couldn’t sleep and worry was on me constantly. I did mental compulsions like repeating, rumination, and some physical compulsions too. I also am doing a lot of avoidance bc this triggers me sm. I’m kinda worried i’ll start believing this even though logically ik it’s nonsense bc ofc morality exists but omf am i worried. i’m trying to not do any compulsions but pls anyone with advice?

Ever since mama and dada had an argument few days back, I've been throwing up due to stress. Things have gotten so weird.. idk I feel weird for some reason.. I can't take family drama anymore, it instantly makes me sick and not just mentally sick but physically. Now my mind's going back to the days I've been in hospital and this one doc said that due to all this stress I'm gonna get diabetes cuz I've already gotten PCOS and I might be at a higher risk of being a diabetic... Idk I hate feeling this way my mind won't shut up I want to sleep

I have been with my partner for 4 years now and he is the most wonderful man on the planet. We started dating when we were both 16 and now we’re 20 and going to college together. When we first started dating in november of 2019, he had a crush on this one girl but he told me that the crush went away as soon as we started dating (he friend zoned her too). He has sworn this up and down for all four years. This christmas I asked to use his phone (mine was dead) to look back on our messages to see what we did that first christmas together. the only thing is that i misclicked and read a text from his mom on that day that said (this is paraphrasing) “it’s christmas now… have you decided what you are going to do? and are you still interested in the other girl you said you just wanted to be friends with?” to which he replied “i think i’ve decided that i’m going to break it off soon. yeah, i’m interested in her but i think i burned that bridge.” I read that and had a full-blown panic attack because of the betrayal and deceit I felt in that moment. He had been lying to me, again and again, for the past four years. About the girl, about the fact that he said he’s “never had second thoughts about our relationship” and that he knew i was “the one since we first met.” He was beside me when I read the text and couldn’t come up with an excuse good enough because he was shocked too. I have no idea what I am supposed to do. We’ve tried talking, but I begin to panic every time I try and my OCD won’t let me forget about it. The worst part is that the crush is not a false memory like i thought it was all these years… it’s real and that’s worse and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

I'm a 73yo retired physician who's struggled with OCD most of my life. While initially tic like as a child, it has evolved into obsessive thoughts (like trying to figure out what time it would be if I interchanged the hands of a clock, constantly calculating exchange rates for money when I travelled overseas, figuring age differences between myself and someone else, to the month, etc), perfectionism (like cleaning shelves and countertops over and over until it felt right, screwing in a lightbulb until it felt right, often resulting in breaking it, etc.) But more recently small physical actions (like blinking 10 times in a row until it felt even, swallowing in a certain way until it felt right, often leading to drinking many glasses of water which I'd have to diurese the rest of the day, etc.)These are but a few if the myriad of symptoms that I get. It's like my mind sticks to things to keep it occupied. It's like there's a little dictator in my head that tells me what I need to do, and decides whether or not I did it right. It has waxed and waned throughout my adulthood, but I've managed to have a successful career and social life. I'm married and have a 24 yo daughter. But it sabotages enjoyment and peace of mind. There seems to be no definite triggering obsession other than the stress of aging and retirement, but over the last few months it seems to be getting worse. I had traditional therapy as a teenager, before OCD was considered a neuro disorder rather than from dysfunctional past experiences. I've had OCD targeted therapy including groups with the Anxiety and Panic Treatment Center in Portland, OR, which kind of helped for a while. I do see a family oriented therapist for other issues. As far as meds, once I conceded that I needed them, Paxil worked for a while, but had a side effect profile. Lexapro, although promising at first, doesn't seem to help much now. So I'm considering entering more focused therapy. I'm open to whatever ERP can offer, although the symptoms change continually. And the role of mindfulness... Sent from my iPhone

Have you reached a point where you’ve cried so much to the point where you feel numb and feel like you’re experiencing depersonalization and dissociation and just don’t know who you are anymore? I tried my best to be present and felt like a ghost around my loved ones. I went to my room and cried a handful of times. My family knows I deal with OCD and this specific theme. I just feel numb, I miss my attraction to men. OCD keeps telling me I’m in denial but I really don’t want to be with a woman. I remember having dreams ever since I was a kid about marrying a guy and even would play being pregnant by having a pillow under a shirt, have clothing for my future children, even a playlist of songs I wanted for my dream wedding. I’ve dealt with this theme for almost 13 years now. But I held onto that dream. It makes me feel like my attraction to men was false. I miss who I was, who was able to cope with this theme. My brother who came to visit stopped by my room and held me as I sobbed. Saying he missed my laughter and jokes and said it will pass and it’s okay to cry. I miss my nieces and nephews and being able to be present. I’m so thankful to have a supportive family, especially as a first-generation Mexican-American. We’ve come a long way talking about mental health, especially as my mother has suffered from depression. It feels like my identity and values and my being were stripped from me. I know they’re still there, but I just feel so far from who I was two weeks ago. I’m grieving.

Merry Christmas! Or, if you don't celebrate it, then I hope you're having a good day! If anyone has anything they want to talk about, or if you'd like to vent/talk about something getting you down, or if you just want to chat, or anything, I'd love to listen! :) (And don't worry about being a downer on Christmas, I'd like to listen if you want to talk about anything that's bothering you) If you need something specific out of a conversation (i.e. you just want me to listen and don't want me to comment or give my opinions or thoughts), let me know and I'd be happy to oblige! And, of course, I'm no therapist. Just thought I'd give that disclaimer. Also, if I respond in a way that seems like the conversation would logically be over but you still want to talk, I'll still be ready to listen! Sometimes I don't have a bunch to comment, but I'll listen for as long as you want to talk! And here's a fire for a fireside chat if you want 🪵🔥🪵

Today I woke up with the intrusive thought „did I harm my dog sexually during the night?“. My brain is specifically relating to the time of 3:57 when I woke up once. From what I remember I only woke up and thought abt going to the toilet but being too lazy and scared of the night so I went back to sleep. But I keep being worried I might have actually been up before that time and done sth. Like I seriously have no Memoires of doing so. Only things that I know were produced by my imagination bc they’re not really possible. I’ve already asked my mother if she had heard me go downstairs at night (we have like some kind of door that keeps you from falling down the stairs which is quite loud to open) but she said she doesn’t know and she hadn’t heard anything and said she’s 100% sure nothing had happened due to how my dog doesn’t seem to care at all and seems to not be scared of me. I’ve also thought abt asking my father and sister but they can’t actually hear anything. Maybe at like 3 am they were up tho for a snack? I know my father often goes to the kitchen at night to eat sth and my sister too. I guess I’ll ask both of them tomorrow. And the thing is that we actually have a camera in our garden which captures a bit of the door where my dog always sleeps and we have a light there so I could’ve been able to check up for my dog in the cameras. Turned out that my parents had turned the camera off at some point. Seems like they only wanted to capture stupid animals hopping onto our car and watching our own family go into the house. Wonderful. I don’t know what to do. The only thing I could now do is either trust my memories and let it go or check for the logic. Last time I was scared I might’ve hurt my dog, I realised that it wasn’t possible for that to have happened and that all of my memories were false. But to be honest, I’m so tired I don’t want to fill 5 days of my life with checking the logic of my obsession. I’ve had multiple su!cide thoughts by now. I’ve spent almost half my day crying. This is my lowest point. I can’t accept the uncertainty. I’m so far in this rn I actually today decided to lock my room from now on and hide my key, take a picture of it to remember it’s exact position and then close the door of the wardrobe I’m hiding it in and putting tape around the openings of the doors from the wardrobe. I seriously don’t want to keep living if this is the life my brain chose to give me.

i’ve been around for just a few days and, as it’s common to people in the OCD spectrum, I’ve seen a lot of reassurance seeking. and i thought about NOCD app’s administrators creating an emoji/reaction to the posts that represents “maybe, maybe not” as a way of this community to participate actively in each other’s acceptance skill. does it sound like a good idea? what do u think? (maybe, maybe not?)

I've been thinking about gender for the past 4 hours trying to define things and understand things and it has me going in circles. I'm afraid of being bigoted and hurting people's feelings. I'm afraid of turning into a horrible person just because all this gender stuff is complicated right now. Man and Woman have sort of lost their meaning but they also mean something to every individual and I can't describe it no matter how hard I try. I'd be relieved if we all ditched the binary terms but trans people still use man and woman and it gets really confusing because I don't know what that means to them and what it should mean to me, but I understand that gender is a spectrum and that it all doesn't matter but it does matter and I'm so confused. These two words floating around my head driving me crazy. I just want to understand things the right way. I still call myself a man, but I can't say that I am one. Nor am I a woman. I call myself non-binary because it's the only term that fits, but I'd like to identify as nothing at all. It helps me feel better seeing through my perspective as I am not a man nor a woman or anything. I understand that for other people it isn't a choice. Other people are women, are men, are non-binary, are both. For me I feel like I choose which to be, like a mask maybe. I am not comfortable in my own body and mind yet, so maybe I choose what to be, instead of just being. It's so much. I fully support trans people and who they identify as, but I cannot stop trying to define words that can't be defined without upsetting someone. I can't see the end of this. Does anyone have any insight? Or is this just one big OCD moment?

I don't understand why the title get rid of my OCD is in place and why there's such a high charge for the hourly service but there's not an immediate solution to place a person on medication. I'm just curious why. You know what person has OCD and at $200 an hour why isn't other means to help those individuals when those abilities to help someone are out there. There are medications but yet it's not prescribed instead a continuum of sessions which it could be both sessions and medication. Or is it do you want the person to really get better or do you want to continue with sessions. My therapist is a joy to speak with but I can't understand just like a doctor if you're hurting and you're in pain the doctor says it's going to take a while to heal meanwhile let me give you some medication to get rid of the pain or the temporary pain. I just don't understand that. If you know your client has OCD why not prescribe medication for them. Why does the client have to suffer week by week after they have already met with the therapist they have been diagnosed with OCD they have completed the paperwork online. I'm very confused. If I was to go to the doctor today for a broken leg they're going to fix the broken leg but it's going to take time to heal but they're going to give me medication to assist with that healing. Very confused. It's just all about money. You claim you care about individuals with OCD but you have a very expensive tab just to talk to someone about it.

Merry Christmas! Or, if you don't celebrate it, then I hope you're having a good day! If anyone has anything they want to talk about, or if you'd like to vent/talk about something getting you down, or if you just want to chat, or anything, I'd love to listen! :) (And don't worry about being a downer on Christmas, I'd like to listen if you want to talk about anything that's bothering you) If you need something specific out of a conversation (i.e. you just want me to listen and don't want me to comment or give my opinions or thoughts), let me know and I'd be happy to oblige! And, of course, I'm no therapist. Just thought I'd give that disclaimer.

I know it is Christmas but my anxiety is about NYE. Every year my friends want to celebrate it together and for the last years we have done so. However this year, I have not been much in contact with them and some friends organized a night, excluding other common friends of ours because they are not “party animal” and they want to be arty animals. Now on one side, I am not a party animal at all (even though I have been invited) and the idea of being forced into party animals celebration is horrible to me. However, my OCD is triggered by the fact that there are some girls that I do not know and my brain is already in OCD mode, telling me “You are going to be attracted by one of these girls,cheat on your bf and lose him forever”. Of course, this causes me tons of anxiety even though I know I am in love with my boyfriend and it is OCD talking. On the other side, my family is reunited to celebrate nye at my grandma house (she passed away in May) and they are all celebrating there and I feel like I will be happier there with them. However, I don’t know if I prefer that because I am compulsively avoiding the plan with my friends and feel safe or because I am truly happier with my family. I don’t want to do a compulsion, but at the moment I am so into the OCD cycle that I cannot distinguish anything anymore.

i had breakup nearly a year ago but i cudnt process or grieve my emotions as ocd was at its peak during that time. since then, ive always been occupied with ocd and the emotions of the breakup have been repressed. i really dont know how to release these trapped emotions. i want to move on but im scared that i might not move on and ocd wud act up. any advice?

is it alright to say that at times I really long for a friendship even tho I'm the type to disappear in between but idk it feels like I'm looking for approval from people and when I've gotten it.. I quietly slip away ... Yeah that does sound like ocd idk tho

hey guys. Suffered from OCD for ever. I’m 25 years old and I’ve identified as being straight all my life. There’s been times where I have gotten the fear of bisexuality and false attraction. It’s on and off for me. after doing so well it’s back and it feels so real. I’ve been better at ruminating but the thoughts get in my dream and haunt me. I’m 25 and getting immense pressure from my parents in getting married. I’ve always wanted a bf and to date but never have met the one due to insecurities and body issues… now with ocd idk what to do. im south Asian and due to cultural stuff my parents have been showing me marriage proposals from guys and that very very unattractive (sorry). I really want to open a dating app but I feel im actually bisexual and dating men is only a lie. dating is so hard and I want to be myself again. I hate how I have ocd. please share tips on what to do. I wanna be on my attracted to men or am I being denial/questioning my sexuality in reality. dating makes me so anxious and my parents keep telling me no one will marry cus im getting older. The pressure is rlly getting to me. how do I date and tell my partner I have ocd… I don’t want my kids to suffer w this disorder

I just feel so down, my life has been awful since April , I have no sex drive anymore. I miss how simple this used to be and it hurts so much. I don’t know who I am anymore or what to feel.

My ocd has been acting up and making me feel really scared. I guess some things I’ve seen have really triggered me and my thoughts are just so loud now. I just want to be able to enjoy Christmas tomorrow without being pestered by intrusive thoughts 😔I wish it would just go away :(

I feel not interested in my partner. I look back on good memories and they turn to cringe. I keep cringing and I don’t understand why. He’s so sweet and perfect for me just I just keep getting the ick. Please help