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Sometimes my brain spells out everything I see without me wanting it too

I’m worried that i will start believing the thoughts or act on them if I stop proving them wrong or fighting them. My life is like a loop now, I always get intrusive thoughts no matter what and all i do is ruminate and check how i feel about stuff so i’m not even a person of my own i’m just my ocd.. Any advice? 😰

I never realized this was OCD, but i constantly check my bp and i always have my fingers to my neck checking my pulse. I am terrified to die and Im scared to go to sleep at night because I feel like I won’t wake up. I also get really bad headache and feel like it’s a tumor. I feel like I’m going crazy

I’m not sure if anyone else goes through this or if it’s normal for PPOCD. But when my ocd flares up , it makes me feel less attached to my baby and gives me a ton of anxiety. I also feel like my ocd jumps to a lot of different themes. Will PPOCD last forever ?

I’ve been dealing with OCD for awhile now and finally feel like I’m taking my life back for the most part. Besides now having bad dreams that seem to fit with my thoughts. I’m not looking for any reassurance. In fact I’d appreciate it if anyone that sees this doesn’t reassure me. I was doing therapy here on NOCD for a couple months until I found out my therapist is no longer with NOCD. So now I’m stuck waiting for a transfer with zero guidance and all of this is still new to me. But recently everything is feeling a little too real for me. When I have a thought it feels like I like the thought. It scares me because I feel like I’m trying to hold back a smile. However it seems to pass pretty quickly and I know I’m supposed to sit with the uncertainty and uncomfortable feelings for as long as I can but this recent stuff is a lot. I’m trying not to let all this eat away at me and just move on with my life but it’s hard. Most days it feels like I’m lying to myself or just trying to hide from the monster I really am by making excuses. I know it’s just a flare up but if anyone has any good advice I could really use some right now. I don’t know what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong. I’m sitting with it the best I can but it feels like I’m giving it too much space in my mind and on the other hand sometimes it feels like ignoring it is compulsive. I’ve been working a lot with mindfulness and turning my attention back to the present moment as many times as I need to and it helps for the most part. Please any advice would be appreciated.

Let's me start by saying I already have a solid mental health team (psychiatrist and therapist). I also am officially diagnosed with hypochondria, GAD, panic disorder, and ptsd. I have had SEVERE anxiety all my life, especially health anxiety, it has made me completely housebound before in the past but I'm having new symptoms and they are scaring me. Has anyone here ever had this same fear obsession? I feel like my brain is fried, my thoughts feel scrambled, I just feel so out of it. I feel like I can't think, I feel lethargic, I have become super sensitive to everything, anything triggers a fear response in me, I can't concentrate, some days | feel so restless that i just want to crawl out of my skin. I feel like I've become socially awkward and more self conscious. I feel like I am having trouble forming sentences and carrying on conversations and I'm not sure if it's because i have become so hyperaware of what I'm saying because i am always on the look out for symptoms like "disorganized speech" and stuff. I'm constantly having mind pops of completely random memories, I'm having racing thoughts and so many more symptoms. I just don't feel like me anymore ): I feel like I will never be normal again, but at the same time I can't even remember what normal is like. I have been deep in this schizophrenia obsession for about 5 months now. If anyone can relate, please comment.

has felt this way and this just made me feel worse (:. I’ve had this feeling for a couple of days and I don’t know how to explain it. When I try to figure it out or even thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend, I don’t have the initial “i don’t want to break up” response i usually get. It feels like my feelings for him have left the building and I just have an empty feeling please has anyone felt this way before. It doesn’t feel like rOCD, idk how I fucking feel. I’m on the verge of crying but then my thoughts would just be like “you’re not crying about your boyfriend” if that even makes sense. Wtf do I do .

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I have the urge to jerk off to my intrusive thoughts (or I have the urge to jerk off when I have intrusive thoughts I can't tell) and it makes me feel awful... I makes me feel like I'm in denial and I want to crawl out of my skin. I know I shouldn't ask for reassurance, but I need it. Does anyone else experience this?

I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…

I’ve been homebound the last month. I went from being able to interact with the world, to being afraid of having a job, socializing, dating, pretty much everything. I even deleted Instagram and TikTok. I’ve only been comfortable watching Planet Earth and Anthony Bourdain. I have been walking the same route, I used to drive everywhere and explore my city. I loved traveling and even had a 3 month trip to Europe planned. I was going to do el Camino de Santiago to be alone with my thoughts. I cancelled that trip back in August due to the fear I was going to be killed. Thinking about it now, I think how I was once in a space where I was comfortable to be alone with my thoughts for 30+ days. This last month has been the hardest and recently got back on Sertraline. The side effects have been tough. I’ve mainly been experiencing SO-OCD, the fear of what if I’m a lesbian or bisexual. It’s transitioned on to the fear of being bisexual. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I don’t see myself dating, marrying, or having sex with a woman. And also experienced a bit of Harm OCD. I’ve experienced this theme on and off for the last 12 years and have been able to overcome. But I feel since I’m close to entering my 30s and just graduating and the feeling of getting older and being single just added another layer. And all the mental compulsions and googling added fuel to the fire. It’s truly exhausting. I’m going to Mexico for three weeks with my parents. It’s a quiet and slow living part of Mexico and I’m dreading it with this theme. I’ve been feeling a sense of sadness, will my life look like this forever? I know it won’t, but when you’re in the thick of it. It feels like it’ll be forever. I’ve always been a bit introverted, and have dealt with different OCD themes. If it wasn’t this one, it was the fear of dying. But I was able to go on with my day. This theme is just exhausting. My mom has been looking after me and it has been so great but I fear what if this is forever. And I never move out? What if my mom dies and I’ll be alone to deal with OCD? I know it sounds dramatic, but it just feels like it’s eternal. I’m 28, I should be starting my career, dating, having fun, going on trips, thinking about other stuff other than freaking OCD. I want a husband and children and a cute house. And it feels like I’m lying about that, but that’s all I wanted too. I’m trying to remember my values. Remember that this is not who I was. I used to be able to watch tv and movies and hang out with people and go to shows. Trying my best to live. I wasn’t triggered and if I was, I was able to move on. Why is it so hard to do that? I feel like this trip to Mexico will be a great exposure. I’m scared, but going to try my best and be present.

Feeling utterly hopeless at the moment 😔 I’ll have hours in a day where I’m able to resist compulsions and live a ‘normal’ life. Then one little thing will cause me to have a complete meltdown and be unable to function. I feel like I’m never going to get better

Okay so I've been non stop checking for a few days now and it's ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm constantly having doubts that I'm secretly bisexual and all this attention I'm bringing to it is making me depressed because I don't want to see men that way. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay but it doesn't make me happy or feel authentic neither have I ever had a crush on a man before the most I feel towards men is giving them a hug or thinking they're handsome but sexual things make me uncomfortable. The question is can checking pornography escalate things and make things worse for this theme? Or even checking in general like taking quizes, tests, asking friends or even wanting to experiment with porn to find the answer? Whenever I check porn my sens feel hypersensitivity towards them and if I feel anything below I go straight into panic mode. This theme is honestly ruining me mentally and physically and my relationship is getting more distant by the day I hate this and every time I post on here I feel so alone. I have no one to talk to and I'm afraid so any help would be more appreciated than you'd know.

This feels new to me. Has anyone had their OCD almost make them feel like they can trust anything about themselves anymore? I am obsessing over these thoughts of doubts I’ve had recently and I’m feeling kinda down and sad about it. Any tips would be spread! This is new for me. My OCD has really kicked up the volume and trying new things on me.

I’m at Disney world with my family for ten days and I should be having a great time, but I’m just struggling almost every moment not to ruminate. I’m walking around parks talking to myself, trying to persuade myself not to ruminate. I’m standing in line ruminating. On rides. And I have no privacy to cry or clear my head because I’m sharing a room with my kids. I feel like I’m a problem. I’m constantly being triggered. Constantly anxious. I feel like such a burden to my family. Making us late for things because I’m hiding in the bathroom talking to myself. They must think I’m insane. I feel so broken and tired. I just want to be normal. I want to enjoy life. I don’t want to dread waking up. I want to be alone, but if I am alone I know I’m going to ruminate. I’m at lunch with my family and I’m trying not to cry.

If you experience an excessive need to research and gather information about something how do you handle that compulsion? I find I’m doing that now with my ocd diagnosis and it’s exhausting. There’s never enough information to satisfy it . Any help would be appreciated.

I get thoughts in my head that make me laugh out loud… a lot. I think it is my Tourette’s but yeah I’m laughing at seemingly nothing in the street on top of regular tics. I’m telling myself it is because I’ve been so mistreated I’m losing the plot. Whatever it is I am certainly self conscious about it. I also worry what people will think and I know I shouldn’t. This has been happening for a few years now so it isn’t a recent thing. I got turned down by another woman and was told to enjoy single life. At 41 after 20 years single it isn’t what I want to hear. Any thoughts?

Does anyone know of a church that is familiar with OCD? I am located in the US, Florida to be exact but I wasn’t sure if there were some that offered online if not local. I would really like to find a pastor who understands ocd. Any suggestions? It’s hard to listen to sermons about hearing God and other things when I hear from all kinds of competing voices in my head. If nothing else, I could use some prayers. In a spiral about whether the voice (internal) is as God or oCd as it relates to a huge job change and my family by extension

I’m always waiting for the next horrible event to happen, and it’s sapping the joy out of my good days. I’m just waiting for the next time the house needs a major repair, or I’m waiting for the next family member to die horribly (even though no one is sick right now). I’m waiting for the next time my relationship takes a dive due to miscommunication. I’m preventing myself from making art my career because I’m convinced I’ll just mess it up, or I’m convinced no one would pay actual money for something I’ve made. I won’t go back to school because I’m convinced I’ll fail again, or worse, I’ll be too focused on myself to take care of my family. I’m so sure that everyone I’m close with in my life secretly hates me, and I know it’s the OCD but some days I’m just waiting for them to tell me I’m right, or I’m waiting for them to all leave me. I know I’ve felt joy, love, and acceptance at one point in my life, but those warm feelings don’t reach my heart when I’m stuck waiting for the next moment life kicks the chair out from under me.

Please pray for me to be happy