Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’m talking to this girl and I really like her but my ocd is telling me she is lying about her age (18)

Does anyone else have those dreams where you wake up with an "o"? This morning I was having a dream of another adult touching me. And I woke up with an "o" But what's worrying me is that when I woke up I realized my sons foot was touching my hip and leg area. So I'm afraid somehow that caused the dream But not only that As I woke up with the "o" I knew his leg was there and instead of stopping it I let it continue but then I moved his leg away from me or tried to as it was finishing. I feel weird that I knew his leg was there to begin with. I can't help but think I did something wrong I just wish these types of dreams didn't exist where you wake up with the "o"

Hey, guys! I know that this is a community to help people with ocd but I really wanna share this Hard stuff with you to help me going through this. I met a guy who was incredible with me and we were together for three months. We talked about a lot of hard stuff and we lived fun moments together and I got attached, but he ended what we had cause he was going through a tough time. I'm so sad and frustrated cause I created many expectations. It's been so hard for me to accept this.

I have been an emetophobic since i’m a child i’m 32 now and over the last few years i have never been worse. I’ve truly spiraled and my contamination OCD is ruining my day to day life. I can’t go to any store or pick up my son from school without coming home and scrubbing my hands raw and spraying everything i have touched with professional grade disinfectant. My hands are so bad they are split , bleeding and so red and dry and i will keep washing them over and over even though it burns. If i touch something in my own home and i feel it’s contaminated i wash my hands and spray until i feel it’s clean. It has taken over my life and now with this norovirus outbreak i am just not handling anything well. I am at a loss and sometimes feel like i’m a lost cause.

when something happens i connect eveything between. like i was wearing my smart watch even though it hasnt charged. then i said its like your relationship. you dont have love but you keep going cause you used to that. and im doing this in everything. im connecting everything to my relationship and its so hard. does this happening to you?

I’ve had a terrible flare up of psycosis ocd over the last week, so scared that I’m gonna get psycosis or have a mental breakdown. and I’ve woken up this morning with thiught like you’re gay. But not a question of what if you gay but just repeated thoughts like you’re gay you need to accept it or your gays ns if you accept it all thsi will go away. And like I am anxious as in no I don’t want to be gay why am I thinking this but at the same time there isn’t really any anxiety which makes it feel real Do you know what I mean, has anyone dealt with this?

I cant take this anymore. My mind is flooded with memories where i felt some sort of panic or attraction when i saw a pretty woman. Yesterday i saw a video of someone saying the collab between shakira and rihanna was their gay awakening and i remember so vividly when i was young that i was obsessed with the video. I just dont wanna live a life where i’m attracted to women but i feel like i am. I just want everything to end

I often want to be able to drink alcohol like a normal 21 year old with friends, but then I notice I question if I handled my intrusive thoughts normally while under the influence. I then convince myself that the alcohol made me less aware and more likely to engage with the thought. Even though I think I’m fighting against the thought even more than if i was sober. It’s annoying because I want to be able to relax when buzzed but when the ocd thoughts start, then it’s harder to ignore them than when sober. I wish I could just trust in myself and know that even if i am tipsy, that i am stronger than intrusive thoughts and can handle them as I usually do.

Hi everyone. I have been doing better with my ocd and have less compulsions. Thoughts are always and will always be there. But my husband is treating me like I am in the thick of an episode. His father lives with us and he’s usually a major cause of my condition. He’s just overall messy and unkept. Today he was bleeding all over the place. I told my husband about it and left it at that. He rushed over to him and gave him some bandaids and something to wipe up. We were supposed to get ready to go to a friends house and I asked him to wash our daughter up and change her dirty shirt (stained with food she was eating) he flew into a rage saying that he doesn’t care about my ocd and doesn’t want to do xyz (while I’m packing the dinner I spent the last 2 hours making) We later went to a friends house .. and they were talking about lead paint being present in any home built in the 1970s and before. . where he degraded me by saying if he puts something up on the walls I will go and clean up any residue .. in reality he will just leave sprinkled dry wall and put the furniture over it as if nothing happened. I just need to vent. I feel like any type of request turns into him flying off the handle and blaming my ocd when they are normal requests.

I haven’t been on this app in months. I went from not being able to leave the house for over a year to getting a new job and going out with friends. I improved so much. Of course my OCD triggers would bother me but not how it used to. I had harm ocd and pocd. Wouldn’t really say “had” since I still struggle here and there with those two. But tonight took a turn for the worst. I won’t go into detail because this time it’s extremely personal. But to keep it simple I think I’ve developed a new trigger. I was exploring myself sexually for a few weeks now and it’s been normal I would say. But today I felt this urge to “explore” myself again and so I did but the feeling won’t go away. No matter how much I “explore” myself. It made me panic thinking I’ve become addicted to it or something is wrong with me. Why won’t this feeling go away? And now anything remotely sexual makes me have these intrusive thoughts and make that “feeling” more intense which in turn makes my anxiety worse. I feel hopeless. And I’m not even sure if it is OCD because I can feel the urge. It’s not just the intrusive thoughts but I feel it. And if you’re confused by what I’m saying I mean a feeling of arousal. It won’t go away and I have strong urges to relieve myself. But what if it will never go away and I can’t stop myself? Someone please tell me if they’ve experienced this before or if this is even OCD. I’ve experienced OCD and I can’t tell if this is it or not just because this is something completely new to me. I’m really panicking.

Something insane happened today. A couple of my friends and I went to a bigger city around 35 minutes away from where we live to get some food and go to the mall. By the time we were done and heading back home it was around 6:30 and was almost dark. We headed back towards home and the drive was going fine. We were listing to music and singing. I turned the music down as we all kinda calmed down and began to get into the turn lane to go onto the road that takes us to the town we live in. All the sudden there was a man. In the middle of the road. Not crossing the road just walking straight in the middle of the road. I slammed so hard on the brakes trying to stop but it wasn’t enough and we hit him. I can remember the sound it made when he hit the car. He then rolled off the hood and onto the road. I remember looking at my friend in the passenger seat and screaming and my other friend in the back seat screamed too. I think I put the car in park but I don’t really remember. I just watched as the man rolled around on the ground and I could see he was bl**ding on his head. My friend called 911 as I called my dad. I sat there in complete and utter shock and began to cry. I don’t even know how long I cried for. The craziest thing is that the man stood up made a gesture at me like “come on man!” and then walked away. The highway we were on doesn’t have by type of sidewalks or anywhere that you can walk on and honestly why are you in the middle of the road!? The cops showed up and talked to up and eventually found the guy and they think he was on dr*gs. I am so shaky and my compulsions are so bad right now because of all the anxiety and emotions. I can’t believe it happened and I really just needed to tell someone and vent.

i’ve had pretty bad anxiety all day because of what happened last night. basically it made me scared i was getting the stomach bug, but i never threw up. i also ate a pretty good amount of food today. however, all day today i’ve just been so anxious. it’s like one minute i’m completely fine and the next i’m scared that i’m nauseous and don’t feel good. i can’t figure out if i’m okay or not. i feel like it might be me getting scared that i have symptoms which then makes me feel like i have symptoms. it’s a never ending cycle. i can’t bring myself down. i feel like i’m going at 100.

hii, i struggle with spiritual ocd and for me that means i have protection necklaces and i can’t take them off in fear of something happening. any tips that might help me manage this??

Hello. I have been on here for a while but this is my first post. I'll cut to the point. I've always wanted kids. And now that my husband and I are trying for a kid.. I'm so nervous about it. I have a hard time touching doors and foreign objects because of germs as it is. And i'm worried all pregnancy is going to do is increase my anxiety. The fear is so intense that tonight I told my husband maybe I don't want kids?.. I do. But I don't know if I can put myself through hormone changes like that when I feel like I can't even control my anxiety most days nows. I've felt like this for 3 years....

I have been heterosexual all my life and been exclusively attracted to women in all aspects. Although, admittedly that I find all people aesthetically attractive (regardless of gender), it was in my nature to complement them and admire them for who they are. I’m currently in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and have been happy up until the end of 2023. It wasn’t until the start of January where the normal things that I did made me question about my sexuality. I kept obsessing over it and overthinking about it up until the point that I kept asking for reassurance from my family and partner as well as none-stop researching about it. It has been taking up my time in school and I’m losing my sleep. My mind was telling me that I was bisexual or gay, but deep down it felt wrong like it wasn’t me. I was having thoughts and fantasies that would wake me up and feel repulsed. I am slowly staring to get numb and be emotionless. I also have been very anxious and have started to get attractions and arousals that I didn’t like. I’m also starting to lose attraction to my partner and there have been instances where the thoughts were so close to convincing me. I just want to be happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose our relationship as well as our future. I don’t also want to lose my self. I have been getting false attractions, groinal responses, thoughts and images that are bothersome and makes me feel repulsed. It gets worse whenever I analyze my past. I don’t know what to do and I just want to cry.

With a little backstory, I've been struggling with physical sleep issues that a medical hospital is trying to to help me with (sleep apnea, TMJ issues, etc.). Anyway, I guess my OCD knows that sleep is a problem, so it's created an obsession around it. I was laying on my two pillows, on my side, and had the thought "Hmm, my shoulder is horizontally up against the pillows, is this squishing the pillows in, bunching them up? Is the level of the pillows now unevenly distributed because of my shoulder against it? How soft/hard is my shoulder pushing against the pillow?" It's ridiculous, because I've slept this way my whole life. But now I'm hyper focused on how my body is laying against the pillows and having to have the pillows perfectly even, without any dents or flaws in them. This sucks because on top of the physical sleep issues, now I'm having OCD sleep issues. Im just so tired. I wish I could ignore it, but OCD gets so strong when I lay on my pillows now. Any advice? Anything to tell myself that could help? Thank you ahead of time.

I woke up up from a nap today and as soon as I opened my eyes I was greeted with extreme feelings of sadness as if I wanted to to cry literally it was so heavy. Has any ever experienced that

(Long message) Today I’m feeling guilty about how I haven’t reached out to my (ex?) best friend for months. Here’s some back story: So I’ve been best friends with this girl since middle school and she’s always been nasty, very opinionated, very explosive, and was the type of person to say that being a “bitch” was a part of her personality. Also she would make snarky comments to me, she just isn’t a nice person overall. So you can kinda get a good idea of what kind of person she is. Anyway, we were super close and we decided to dorm together our freshman year of college (yes I knew that it could end badly), and it was pretty good the 1st semester but I started to get more irritated during the 2nd, mainly about small things but it kinda turned into me getting annoyed by every single thing. This was last year. At the beginning of last summer, I had wanted to distance myself just for like a week or two, just cuz I had lived with her for a year and I didn’t want to get irritated further. So that clearly took a wrong turn cuz then she started getting mad about how I wasn’t really hanging out with her, I was always with my bf, etc. Meanwhile she had only asked me to hang out about 4 times throughout the summer and 2 of those times I was already out with my bf. Then she was always starting unnecessary arguments with me, saying how our friendship was one-sided, and at that point I just didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. But I never told her about anything I was thinking, and the reason why I never did was cuz ever since middle school I was always afraid to share my opinions to her in fear that she’d explode and get mad, so for me to tell her how I felt about our friendship was a no-go, which wasn’t the best decision but it is way too late now. Fast forward to now, I’m at a different college (not cuz of her), it is the 2nd semester and the last time I’ve seen her was New Year’s Eve, and that was the last time I spoke to her. I’ll admit, ever since the summer I’ve been having this one-sided conflict with her, just bc of everything that happened and also the specific things she’s said to me during everything that rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously she doesn’t know I have these feelings towards her but like I said, it is way too late to say anything, even if it wasn’t I wouldn’t say anything, and I just have to live with it. But I have felt guilty about these feelings for a while, on and off, but also that I haven’t reached out to her. She hasn’t reached out to me either though. This is literally what I wanted too, I wanted to slowly drift apart from her and that’s what happened, but I just feel so guilty that I secretly hate her and I won’t reach out to her cuz of it, even tho she hasn’t said anything to me either. I just had to get that off my chest, but is this considered real-events ocd? Can anyone relate?

I feel the right thing to do is own upto my rape memory/thought, It was when I was intoxicated and walking home on my own I feel I grabbed someone and committed an awful act on them. What shall I do

Currently struggling with guilt on how my partner and I became a couple. I lived in a small town at the time and wasn’t getting out much. I forced myself to go online and meet multiple different men for dates. My current boyfriend stood out amongst the rest. We had good conversations and talked for about 3 weeks before meeting in person. Now I think this is where the issue/ocd comes into play. I wasn’t “obsessed” or “infatuated” with him at first sight. It was literally just a date to me and we got along well and just kept at it till 6 months in we were “official” My love for him was and still is an ongoing slow burn. I find him more attractive now than I did originally and he is a very good man who I believe I’m compatible with, but… My ROCD is telling me I’m just convincing myself. How can I love someone I wasn’t crazy about at first sight. I will meet someone I have more passion and lust for and leave him. Which causes so much anxiety because I don’t want that. I want our love to continue to grow, but I feel so ashamed of these thoughts at times.