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Anyone else struggle with this theme? What has helped you? Its a fear that I will loose control. Even just reading the word triggers me. I don’t want to die and it’s constantly on my mind ruminating.

I’m a 13 year old girl and I think I have ocd. But im not sure. At around maybe 8 or 9, I remember giving signs, like touching things 5 times or 10 times, and other things similar to that. I’m now 13, and I feel like lately it’s gotten worse over the last year or so maybe. Here’s a list of my compulsions. I stay up until 8:00 AM or 9:00 AM counting to 5 because if I don’t God will send me to hell and I need to ask for Gods forgiveness. I love God In The Name Of Jesus Christ Amen At night before going to bed, I need to g and fix my bed at 7:50 AM and only :50 because if I went to bed at 56 it’s the devils number and I love God In The Name Of Jesus Christ Amen When scrolling, I need to scroll 5 or 10 times Before going to bed, I need to shake my sheets 5 times, shake my pillows 5 times and shake my blanket 5 times. And there’s way more regarding around do this or you’ll go to hell, it’s really exhausting. My parents noticed the way I act but they just get mad at me for it, I just really want to get help.

I came back from my psychologist and she told me that I suffer from massive anxiety, with that a bit of depression and the ocd plays on it. So now I have to cope with that and find the powers. If someone has something empowering to say, I’d love to hear 🙏🏻❤️

I’m tired. I’m absolutely tired. i cry and cry. i don’t know who to turn to. my ocd/pocd is physically weakening me. Also I’m someone who likes to interpret dreams. so I dreamt of me swimming and when I searched the meaning, some said I’d go to jail. & this sent me spiraling. please help. i really really wanna do therapy but mom says I’m not at that stage where I need therapy yet.

I’m currently really struggling right now and I’m not sure how to feel. The past 2 weeks my marriage has been awful, for so long I’ve always brainwashed myself into thinking everything is fine. But it’s not. My marriage is toxic. We fight horribly very often and I hate that because we have a 2year old. I’m constantly worried that this toxic cycle is going to affect our little one. Sadly I’m the only one that thinks about this. My husband never tries to get a therapist, he constantly says that’s I just need to learn how take his behavior in, he threatens to call my family and “expose” me everytime we fight, he uses my trauma against me when we fight, he constantly wants to isolate me from all family members which is extremely depressing for me. I know my family has some narcissistic tendencies but since I work with a therapist I’ve learned how to not let their tendencies affect me… I already lost my dad almost 2 years ago, so it doesn’t help that I have a husband who always encourages that I cut off my family members. What irks me the most is how cocky he is. I love that he’s confident but I hate how he uses it in a way where he thinks I’ll never find anyone better than him… and he treats me as if I find him extremely attractive when I unfortunately don’t anymore… that attitude has been a major turn off for me. I’ve also made it very clear to him that I want to be single, I’ve been saying this for months. I told him I’m tired of our toxic cycles and I see how it’s effecting my mental & physical health. For my own sake I want to see what my life is like without him. What upsets me is how much he tries to treat me as if we’re all good, like we’re a happy couple. And the moment I open my mouth everything crumbles… but why? All because I’m reminding him how I truly feel? I’m tired of these games of fighting like crazy and then playing love dovey after. It’s messing with me. Since things have gotten progressively worse I find myself longing for a previous partner of mine. Someone that treated me so well and nothing compared to what I’m going through now. My husband knows my ex and I had a conversation together not long ago, nothing flirtatious at all. Just a little catch up as we haven’t spoken in years, he’s very close with my family so we were bound to talk again one day. The not so great part and this may sound ridiculous but I feel like I could tell that he missed me. Almost like he was still waiting for me. I started to feel very impulsive , like I needed to be with him immediately! Because why not ? I’m so tired of being unhappy it’s making me dread my current marriage more and more. My heart just wants to be happy again. I want to be with someone who respects me, who treats me well, someone who can be there for me… I don’t get that. I feel like it makes sense for me to long for someone else. 😞 But at the end of the day I try to remind myself that I’m feeling many emotions right now and that my ocd is trying to make me make decisions asap. But I know that’s the wrong thing to do, especially when feeling very impulsive. I’m also trying to let my feelings subside over my ex.. because truthfully I don’t know how things would be if I were with him, I don’t know him that deeply anymore, it’s been so long. And lastly before going into any relationship, I feel as if I need to work on loving myself first. It’s hard.

so i haven’t been dealing with false memories or real event odc for a whole now but i literally just woke up from a terrible triggering nightmare at first i was ok and relieved when i woke up but now doubt is setting in and the part is in the dream i think the person is made up. but i have doubts i think i got this dream because i was thinking about kissing my partner right before i fell asleep and yesterday i was looking for a video of my little cousin and i had an intrusive “what if” but i was able to brush it off. so it may be that all i know is that i keep getting flashbacks and i hate it it’s disgusting and i hope its not true. and i don’t think i could accept it if that is the truth its just so wrong

What’s the first intrusive thought you had that took you into an ocd spiral which eventually led to your proper diagnosis? This is a judgment free zone!

Hello, I’ve recently moved to a new school and have been attending my new school for a month now. But recently, I have felt like I need to talk to more people in my classes since I just moved there. Sure, I have some friends already but my mind and thoughts keep telling me since I don’t have a ton of friends in my English class, that I need to talk to more people in there but I have social anxiety. Same with my Math class, my mind keeps telling me that since I have recently moved to a new school, I need a fresh start but I feel like I have already ruined that fresh start at a new school because I haven’t really been that outgoing or myself towards people in my classes and that’s what I was wanting when moving schools. I wanted a fresh start but now since I haven’t really pushed myself out of my comfort zone and talked to people in some of my classes, I feel like I’ve ruined my fresh start at a new school. Especially since I have been there for a month now, I feel like it is too late to be a new person and be myself and be outgoing there. I wanna talk to the peers around me and in my classes but I have social anxiety. I wanna just be my funny self like I am at home but idk how to do that at school or in public places. What do I do?

Bombs have been a big fear of mine for a loooong time. Tonight i was laying in bed and heard some beeping. Normally i know the source of every noise in my house because as a kid i would investigate every sound, ive never heard beeping. I got pretty scared and braced myself for impact but a couple seconds alter nothing happened. Then i went to the bathroom and i heard it again. I froze up and then my brain very quickly urged me to text my ex girlfriend that i love her before i die and go into my moms room. I grabbed my phone and went into my moms room. Turns out the beeping was from the tv show she was watching. 🤦‍♂️ while it was pretty scary its kind of laughable now. I could’ve just wildly changed my whole life because of a couple beeps.

Sometimes i can say “this is an intrusive thought i dont need to worry about it) and move on. But sometimes it feels real. I cant tell whether i should listen to it or not. Ive been having headaches, jaw, and ear pain. I was scrolling through comments of a video on jaw pain and someone said they had felt the same and found out they had a tumor. Im terrified. I dont want to die and i dont want to sit in the hospital for days until im better. I have a feeling this one is better safe than sorry but i cant trust myself anymore. I have so many doctors appointments and my mom cant afford an mri or anything crazy like that and im so scared ill get really sick and the tumor will kill me

Officially trying to get help for my OCD. Contamination OCD is mainly what I’m struggling with right now. It feels like my brain is going to explode from the thoughts on repeat. Just wanted to vent that in a safe space. Stay strong everyone.

I clearly remember the day it started. I was in sixth grade in 1967 and like the flick of a switch I felt off one day. I kept thinking I had died the night before but was still moving around. It was so weird but it continued from then on, the intrusive thoughts, the constant moving around and racing thoughts about what has to be done that day. I’ll walk into a room to do something but end up doing several other things before getting to that. I’m 67 and retired but every day I struggle with unwanted thoughts (never about harming anyone or myself but about bad things that could happen. I think the worst in any situation. I’m so tired but know no other life. Glad to know I’m not alone.

My therapist reminded me to have more compassion with myself. That resonates in my head right now. We acknowledge all the triggers and negative thoughts...I forgot about the positive and beautiful things that's have also happened at places that trigger me. When we set unrealistic goals for ourselves, then we trigger the rush of negative thoughts. Do you give yourself the compassion you should?

I find myself in an incredibly difficult and distressing situation, and I desperately need your help and guidance. The contamination and health concerns related to my OCD have taken an almost complete hold over my life. What's worse, my husband has been manipulating me for years, exacerbating my OCD and causing immense emotional pain. It started gradually, with him making hurtful remarks, seemingly incapable of finding happiness when I was happy. As my OCD worsened, his behavior became more extreme. He took my beloved dog to the basement, claiming it was a threat to me. However, he didn't stop there. He started using derogatory and offensive names for my dog, such as "satan dog" and "fucking dog." Every day, he expresses his hatred towards my dog, saying he hates dogs. This relentless emotional abuse has only served to worsen my OCD. In addition to the emotional torment, I have endured several traumatic experiences, including three painful miscarriages, constant fights with my husband, prolonged separation from my family for seven years, a pervasive feeling of unsafety, and the isolation imposed by the COVID-19 pandemic. Rather than supporting me through these challenges, my husband has made it his mission to make me feel worse. He frequently works long hours, leaving me alone for at least 12 hours each day, with no relatives or friends to turn to for support. To add to my distress, my husband has bombarded me with distressing news and videos, particularly those depicting plane disasters. Consequently, I have developed an intense fear of boarding planes, which hinders any possibility of being reunited with my family. This fear has also spilled over into other aspects of my life, making it impossible for me to go out or even open items from the grocery store due to obsessive thoughts about contamination. What concerns me even more is the mistreatment of my dog. My husband has locked him in a small transport box, leaving him in darkness throughout the day. He keeps the key with him and has purposely created obstacles, such as leaving trash and disgusting items, to prevent me from accessing my dog. Yesterday, he even threatened to kill my dog, a threat he has made multiple times before. I have pleaded with him to give my dog away to someone who will care for him, but he adamantly refuses. He has also made disturbing comments about getting rid of his cokatiel. The constant fear of harm to my beloved pets and to myself and my baby is consuming me. In my desperation, I suggested divorce as a way to escape this torment. I promised not to ask for anything but to leave with my baby, as my husband shows no interest in our child and often ignores us. His indifference and disconnection have become glaringly apparent. Although he claims he would never hurt us, his demonstrated intent to harm innocent lives — our pets — leaves me doubting his words. If he is capable of such cruelty, I fear he could easily harm us as well. He seems bored and annoyed by our presence. Adding to my distress, I feel trapped and unable to seek help from authorities due to his threats. He has warned me that if I reach out for help, he will manipulate the custody of our baby, blaming it all on my mental health struggles. Furthermore, my lack of citizenship complicates matters, making it even more challenging to find a way out. I have tried to confide in my family, but they refuse to listen, believing my husband to be a good person. I desperately long to return to my home country, but the distance of over 11,000 km makes it seem impossible. If my pets are harmed, I fear I will never be able to regain a sense of normalcy. My husband consistently blames me for everything, compounding my heartbreak and leaving me shattered. I implore you, the members of this forum, to offer any advice, support, or resources that could help me escape this abusive situation. Your guidance and assistance in finding a way to safety would mean the world to me. I feel utterly brokenhearted and in dire need of your help. Thank you for taking the time to read my plea. I eagerly await your responses and appreciate any assistance you can provide.

Anyone here suffer from contamination OCD? I hardly see any posts about it and, after searching, I read that others have said the same thing even years back.

Hello everyone - for the first time in a long time, I decided to reopen this app. I remember this time last year I was desperately scrolling through the comments section, hoping to find a positive story. I had a debilitating breakdown last year that left me unable to work, leaving London and living with mum. Everything that made perfect sense to me suddenly stopped making sense, including my loving relationship with my boyfriend. I spent weeks having panic attacks, and then months in a deep depression until finally, I started to experience happiness again. It terrified me that my brain could work like that, but it did and I’m slowly beginning to accept this fact. Now, a year on and after ERP therapy, I can safely say that I’m in a much better place. In fact, my boyfriend and I are just fine and now living together happily. The whole experience has made me realise just how much he means to me. No feeling is final. OCD can make you think that your life is over, that you’ll always feel a certain way and that you’ll never get better - but you can. There’ll be good days and bad days, but you’ll find peace again. Dx

Is it actually possible to get to the point of no longer having a certain intrusive thought or subtype of OCD? Or is it ONLY possible to learn how to deal with it? Thanks

How can you know if you are really attracted to someone?

Next week I’ll be in a psychiatric day-care clinic and I am sooo nervous and also scared. I never thought I would be doing it but I think it’s the right next step. I am just scared of opening up, meeting new people and the change that is about to happen. Have you been to a psychiatric clinic and have some tips for me? Or maybe you can tell me what will happen there. I just need a little encouragement, it really frightens me..

Curious! I’ve suffered from OCD for years and we all know drinking makes it worse. I’ve dabbled with going somewhat sober and changing my lifestyle and I’ve definitely see differences, especially with my diet. Coming off a couple weekends of bring drinks and can feel the fear seeping back in…anyone else?