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Hi guys, trying to hopefully get some opinions. I am very confused about whether or not I actually need treatment. I recently had an intrusive thought that disturbed me deeply, I ruminated for about 2 weeks and felt so much shame and guilt around it. After that, I started to feel much better and my brain started realizing that I have no need to feel shame because it’s just a thought. I started looking into OCD and found that this feeling of overwhelming shame and intrusive thoughts are common symptoms. I just dont know at what point I actually seek out treatment, or if I just say “ok, we seem to be moving past this, I think we’re good”. Is this OCD? Was this just a panic response to a bad thought? If anyone could offer insight, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

I've never been turned on by a woman. I've admired a beautiful woman but more so in ways I wish I looked that or a 'good for her' never anything sexual. My SO-OCD is back quite strongly at the moment and it's causing panic in me because I have no crush on any males at all and I've been single by choice for so long it's making me worry what if its because I'm really secretly gay or bi. I even get scared to test mentally thought of being a woman incase I like it. I've done this test before and came to conclusion it wasn't for me but now it's back again. I even used to watch WLW p-orn but not like the close ups it was more because it was less peeness on face.

I lie sometimes, and that sometimes turns into a lot to get out of work. I called in 20 times in 24 weeks which I was told by management that it’s unacceptable and they asked what they can do to help. (That was a couple weeks ago). And I called in yesterday. I wasn’t feeling well, but I should’ve went in anyways. It wasn’t that debilitating to not go into work so why did I do that ? I don’t understand why I make the choices I do, and why I continue to do them after being confronted and knowing that is wrong ? I’m terrified of getting in trouble by my boss. She’s quite firm, harsh, which makes sense because she’s running a store, you never really know what to expect when she’s there. it’s not easy to be around her and I know it’s not just me who feels this way because my coworkers have said the same :/. It’s like walking on eggshells and it reminds me of my home life with my dad. My dad isn’t a bad person, I love him, I know he loves me back and he always makes me laugh, but I get so extremely uncomfortable when he’s angry. It seems he’s always angry at something at least once a day, and I hate hearing my parents argue so I just turn my music up and stay in my room. I always fantasize about having my own place, and just doing a full 180. With my boss, There’s always something wrong or, something that makes her mad and it’s hard to be around her since she expresses her negative emotions quite harshly, to the point where it really can be unnecessary. this should not excuse my actions, but I swear this has to be one of the only reasons why I hate going there. Why don’t I just quit ? Well first, I can’t quit until I find another job, and secondly, even though I keep applying I never get responses back. I just continue the cycle of my actions. Why can’t I just show up, do my job, and go home. Why does it affect me so much ? I’d rather stay home, bed rot, and do nothing. Why ? I have the recourses to help myself be better, do better for myself and others around me but I don’t. I know it’s because of my mental health. No normal human being, with a healthy brain and rationality acts like this. I recognize my issue but I don’t have the motivation at all to fix it. I want to change but I also don’t because it seems too hard. All I do is self harm. Smoke weed. Bed rot, and go online. And when I’m not doing that I’m at work, the only time I get out of the house and actually do something. Instead of taking this opportunity I find ways and excuses to keep me home. I ask for shorter shifts, I’m only part-time. I work four hours a shift and I don’t work often, so why don’t I just go in ? It’s hard for me to write this without belittling and somewhat defending my actions. I’m not a bad person, I don’t do bad things, I don’t go out of my way to make someone’s day worse. I really do try to be kind and supportive to everyone, I don’t mean to hurt people and I don’t like the idea of it, I love to make people laugh, but I’m just causing my downfall and I hope I never take anyone with me. All I do is hurt myself over and over. I scarred my skin because I was upset. That’s kinda permanent. It’s not a smart decision. I wish I could make people understand my experiences and everything I feel but I know that’s impossible, and the more I repeat it the more it sounds like excuses, and it kills me inside. At the same time why should I explain my experiences, because my thoughts, and my actions shouldn’t be influenced by something that happened in the past. Nor should I let my mental health take this much of a toll on me. It’s irrational and not fair. All I want to do is belittle myself of my experiences and call myself dramatic but the more I do I feel worse, while also trying to make myself feel better because there has to be a reason why I do this and don’t change ? This can’t all be my fault can it ? Am I really that stupid and lazy ? Why don’t I just try ? All I ask myself is why. The guilt eats me up inside. Of course I’m not going to tell anybody about this except strangers in the internet because I’m ashamed of myself and don’t need the people I love to be too.

Starting Prozac Tommorow morning, and I’m terrified that I’m going to get bad side effects, I’ve seen some really scary articles about them, and it’s causing me a good amount of worry, anyone on Prozac or know anything about it? I’m really hoping it works in helping my ocd, I’ve been on Zoloft before and I don’t really remember and side effects but I do remember getting nausea so I switched to Prozac after a years break and ocd coming back harder.

Curious of what you guys think of this . My wife and I have not spoken in about a month . Not any particular argument just an overall harshness in many conversations leading up to the no talking , by both of us . Instead we have only been communicating through three methods 1- text 2- email 3- handwritten note . I am hoping when we talk again that we can each be more productive and polite with further future conversations. Feel free to weigh in with your points of view , hoping guys and girls both weigh in . Overall it is relatively quiet and peaceful.

Please give me good advice to manage all my evening at home when I am home alone please help me

From what I’ve seen from quite a few people on here and Reddit, dealing with intrusive thoughts during “private” time seems to be something i and many others sadly deal with. I’ve “sort of” gotten used to it but I wish I can enjoy myself sexually the way I used to before these thoughts took over my mind. It’s literally what started the POCD obsession for me in the first place, and why it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD when these thoughts are so prevalent when I’m engaging in something sexual. I always feel reluctant to actually do the deed sometimes cause of how present the thoughts are before I do it but I force myself to cause avoiding it isn’t gonna help. And honestly, I just want to get it over with before my sex drive and these thoughts clash and make it infinitely worse. I try my best to focus on what I know I want (gay porn) but it’s like windshield wipers during a storm. I see clearly for like 5 seconds then boom there’s something that shouldn’t be there and I have to stop. Over and over again. It’s even worse when I finish and it finds its way back on mind when it should be the last thing on it at such a moment. I can’t believe the one thing I used as a stress reliever is now something that cause me nothing but stress.

Hey everyone - honestly looking for advice more than anything. I have my OCD managed pretty well right now thankfully, but there’s always flare ups here and there. Anyways, I’m in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend of over 2 years now. However, year 2 was definitely the year we learned to argue. We got into our first fights and learned to navigate it etc. and we’re at a place now we hardly ever fight, if anything we have little spats as I like to call them. However, we had a little spat the other day, first one we have had in probably a couple months, and I’ve gotten to a place where I’m good at accepting we had one, learning from it and moving on. But, my boyfriend doesn’t move on as much. I think he gets really triggered if we have an argument of basically any kind and he doesn’t want us to argue at all. I mean, I don’t want us to have arguments either, but if they happen every now and then I don’t think it’s a big deal. He on the other hand has this outlook that we just should rarely argue if ever, but I honestly don’t think that’s realistic, and it truthfully puts this anxiety on me. He does come from a family with divorced parents so i do think this is his trauma coming up, but I’m nervous he won’t take that next step (an engagement) if we argue every now and then. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like a spat or argument every now in then is very normal in a relationship, but i think he associates fighting with divorce and breakups. Just not sure how to handle this. I also want to say that we never name call, argue toxically, etc.

At the risk of asking for reassurance, how did you guys deal with your ROCD after a breakup? Did you leave your partner or did your partner leave you? My OCD greatly affected my first relationship but I have come to terms with accepting that it didnt work out simply because we both decided we wanted to explore new things as we were very young and our goals did not align. Right now however I am in a much rougher spot because the person I was with does not want anything to do with me anymore and its been one of the most painful things Ive ever experienced simply because of how abrupt the discard was. Without the reassurance of having them by my side, everyday I question more and more what my actual feelings were for them. If I really felt limerence or just comfort, if I was attracted enough, if it ever felt "right," etc. My daily mood fluctuates from emotional numbness, jealous rage, and what I think is genuine melancholy only to then get a fight or flight response when I start to think that I was kind of forcing my feelings being with them. I miss so many things about them, I miss their body, I miss falling asleep together, I miss the comfort they brought me, I miss the chemistry that I felt couldnt be replicated with anyone else I know irl. Yet at the same time my brain just feels a massive void when I think of them now as if they never even existed or the dopamine rushes werent enough to make me really *feel* something for them. This automatically makes my OCD go and say “well, maybe you werent *that* attracted to them and thats why you had some doubts from the start.” I had similar thoughts when I was with them, but I also felt genuine excitement by seeing each other that I really just ignored my OCD and it did not impede much in how I perceived them or stop me from enjoying myself. The recurring “grass is greener” thoughts were definitely prevalent when I was with them but not even close to as bad as they are now that were broken up. They were especially inconsiderate of me and my emotional needs during the last times we spoke and that just made me feel like I had all the more reason to just accept my OCD and realize this person was never someone I truly liked. Its just so frustrating because even after all thats happened I cannot cope with possibly accepting that this was all a lie. I know that I felt great when I was with them even if the dynamic of the relationship itself was very imperfect. It just pains me that I probably will never see this person again and I will now have to deal with these thoughts and getting help on my own without them. This experience has warped my perception of relationships, of my own attraction, and what I even really want from a partner. So I’m genuinely asking, how did you guys deal with ROCD after a break up knowing that your ex partner will probably never talk to you again? I dont need reassurance, just want advice and examples of how to deal with this emotional turmoil. Any help would be appreciated in the meantime.

When he was a newborn I gave my baby an open mouth kiss (jaw opening) on his head. I’ve never seen anybody else kiss their kids like that. He’s almost a year old and I can’t get past it. I do it on camera on my hand in mirrors and on used to do it on my son’s head and cheek as a checking compulsion. One time I was checking on his cheek and he turned his head so it landed on his lips. I feel disgusted. I feel like that’s something that only happens between romantic partners. Also when he was 3-4 months old I was lightly stroking his back, the side of his leg, and then the inner thigh. I felt an intense amount of anxiety the entire time. I feel like I SA’d him with the inner thigh part. I’d compulsively check to see how far the crease of his diaper was from his private out of fear. I just want to be a good mother but I feel like a monster.

Hi everyone, I really need an advice. I discovered I have ocd two years ago. I tried to go to therapy for a few time in 2022 but it was terrible: my therapist didn't do erp and was convinced I didn't have ocd because I didn't have any physical compulsion (🚩). In November 2023, I started going to therapy again: finally, I received my ocd diagnosis. However, even my new therapist doesn't practice erp. She understands my disorder a lot better, but she doesn't give me homework or tips for exposures. I am not as desperate as I was some years ago, but I must admit I can't say I'm fine either. I constantly ruminate (even if I try not to) and I feel anxious almost every day. My main theme before was so-ocd. Now I have less obsessions regarding that, but I'm starting to develop r-ocd. I'm in a relationship since November and the idea of losing him or ruining our love do to ocd really freaks me out. Another thing I should add is that I live in Italy, and here it's very difficult to find a trained erp therapist. So my question for you is: do you think I should try creating a hierarchy of exposures on my own? Is it something that I can try? And if it doesn't work, should I try to see if NOCD can do therapy for people living abroad? It's very expensive and it wouldn't be in my language, but it seems to me that they are the only ones who really understand all this. Thanks to anyone who will take the time to read all this and give me an answer❤️

Saw a post today about the late blooming lesbians because this woman got married to a man and had two children only to realize that was a lesbian and now I don't know what to think as someone who is engaged to be married to a man that I love whole heartedly.. ✨️cue so-ocd✨️ Someone help 😭😭

Hey, this is my first post and I just need to get this off my chest. I’ve been suffering since 2019 now which feels like forever and in fact makes it feel more real as I can now remember back to times where I was struggling with this. I have had periods of calm but seem to have a flare up every year. I am yet to receive therapy but have been on Zoloft and am currently on Prozac. I am really disturbed by an image in my head that I may have done something sexually inappropriate with one of my dogs and have been suffering with this for years. I can’t work out if it’s a memory or not as it’s hazy but the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. It confuses me as I feel like if it had happened I would’ve felt guilty at the time and not just remembered it years later. I’ve always found bestiality abhorrent and can’t understand why I have the image and feeling of me doing this. He has recently passed away which caused a massive relapse as I’m now constantly upset that I can’t remember him properly and whenever I think of him I just get triggered which is distressing as I love him so much. I haven’t been able to get over this and just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I’m terrified of myself. I can’t tell my friends or family as I’m so ashamed by the content of my suffering and I feel so alone

For most of my life I thought what I was going through was normal. Before I started therapy, I had even 'accepted' that this was who I am... That I was going to be depressed, anxious, obsessive and compulsive for the rest of my life. The thing is, now I know that I don't have to be any of those things and for the most part, I'm not those things anymore. They weren't me, they aren't me, but they're apart of me. I've learned to manage them and my OCD and I couldn't be happier. Sure, symptoms come and go, sometimes more intense than other times, but I've learned how to manage them and I'm happy, I'm living in the moment more than I have for most of my life. You can do this too and if you're thinking about therapy, do it. I know it's not accessible for every person and I want to acknowledge that too and I hope you all get the treatment and support you deserve. This isn't forever and you have a community here.

I remember my therapist talking about surrendering to your thoughts does anyone want to expand and explain this.

Ordering Repeating Extreme overthinking Hours and hours doing my those OCD rituals Cannot read or write because of this Taking time while switching on fan/light etc.... Self harming No one understands about my OCD It's been 2 years Random crying and feeling helpless and lost most of the time Re doing and re writing and re reading Checking doors Arranging doormats sometimes takes like 20-25 minutes to arrange doormats Random and worst compulsions Example: Touch the door 4 times or else my loved one will die Then it becomes 4x4 16 Random imaginations of numbers Nothing becomes perfect Wasting all my time to study (I'm in 10TH GRADE)doing all these. Very slow while writing notes in class because of rewriting and my bench mates notices it sometimes and makes fun of it. Even my bestfriend doesn't understands me and laughs at it but she tries to support me but they are not understanding what I am going through. Compulsion while I go to bed when I am extremely tired and then I waste the next minutes or maybe hours doing those without sleeping even if I am tired or class the next day. Seeing all these my parents yell at me and makes fun of laugh at me call me mad or crazy.Mu siblings and my cousins laugh at me and says "Stop doing these.Why are you acting" "JUST STOP THESE". I ALWAYS DO RITUALS WITH THE ANXIETY THAT SOMETHING HAPPENS TO MY PARENTS.And I love soo much that I can't even explain but my parents don't understand why I am doing these and one day my father pleaded and cried saying that "Please stop this.Dont be crazy.You are making me sad and tense.These are just your thoughts". One day while going to a function(we were running late) and my family was in a hurry that time I was ordering the footwears which was kept outside my house it tooke me 8 or more minutes and my father yelled at me and He destroyed all of the arrangement with his leg and all my hardwork was ruined and watching this my sibling started laughing hardly and I broke down into tears and yelled back at him and said that I'm not coming without arranging these. COUNTING ALWAYS. Retyping things, My teachers noticed this during computer lab and yelled at me.

My sister randomly one day told me she had sex with our cousin and then every time I tried to ask her about what happened she would say it never happened or get mad at me for talking to her about it. I told a bunch of people and honestly i admit I think I wanted to get attention from people but it also made me feel like I was gonna explode if I didn’t tel someone. I ended up telling my roomate who was dating my cousin after he was treating her badly they broke up and she was sad so I told her that to make her feel better but now I feel guilty cuz why was I telling people her business? What if I was trying to smear campaign her without realizing it? Why did I want to shock people like what is wrong with me?

I saw a tiktok of this women talking about false memories and she was saying that false memories are impossible and that it doesn't exist. Then, I saw a comment that someone said people use false memory as an excuse because deep down their terrible people. Additionally, I saw another comment saying that false memories has been debunked. In the past few days, I just been feeling awful. My ocd has spiked and now I've lost all hope. My whole life, I never been thought I would be a terrible person and when this random memory, that I'm sure that it's true or not appear, I have a hard time trusting myself. After that, all mistakes I made in the past starts pouring in and I'm like, What the fuck is going on?!? I honestly don't see a future for myself. I don't see myself getting married, having kids, even accomplishing career dreams. What's so sad is back in January, I got accepted to go back to school to study graphic design. When I found out about the news I was extremely happy to finally do something that I want to do and move out of my lame hometown and start fresh. I don't even picture myself going to school in the fall. My life is pretty much dwindling.

I'm already going through so much. I just wish I could get it into my head that these memories of bad things are actually memories of intrusive thoughts I had that day, and not of real actions, because a person with OCD would never do what they most repudiate and abhor and which goes against their principles, and at that time I was already dealing with OCD, I was already avoiding small things for fear of causing harm. I didn't check everything like I do today because I didn't know how the rituals worked, but I always tried to be vigilant so as not to harm anyone, because the intrusive thoughts were intense and I was afraid they would come true. Apart from the fact that my little cousin has never changed with me, he loves me so much, he's affectionate, there's never been a sign that I've hurt him. He remembers little things from back then, he would remember something bad, right? But then it comes into my mind that he was asleep/sleepy and so might not remember. All the bad possibilities run through my mind and sometimes I get distressed, because I love him so much and it horrifies me to imagine that I might have done something bad to him. I don't have the strength to deal with all my problems and these OCD issues, I just want to come to a conclusion and get on with my life, because as well as the OCD I have other problems, such as my finances. Jesus, I feel like I'm going mad sometimes. I've talked about it here before, I know it's wrong to seek confirmation, but I need to get it off my chest, I'm already in physical pain from other problems, so having all these things on my mind makes it worse. I just wanted someone to help me, I'm desperate.

If anyone suffers with OCD harm or other OCD subtypes. ✨♥️ you’re not alone. Even though the my battle with OCD is won through the blood of Jesus. I have more healing to do. I’ve went through the compulsions (temptations); and the hospital visits for chest pains , and was sent home 🏡 because they didn’t see anything wrong , it hits spiritually. It’s spiritual warfare that’s why we are to put on the full armor of God to fight against principalities of the dark world. 🌎 it saddens me that for generations we have been suffering. Let’s turn our lives over to Jesus and let him help us.