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how do you accept uncertainty I find it impossible and so distressing? It’s ruining my life😔

Just reflecting on one of the more tricky tactics OCD can throw at us. And that is the False Memory. If you've had it, you know how badly it can suck...especially if you're like me and already have a somewhat poor memory. The life cycle seems to be (for me) 1.) Random what if thought...either completely random or somehow tied to a theme you're currently struggling with. 2) trying to rationalize..."I would never actually do something like that" "doesn't sound like me" or "I'd definitely remember if I did that...no way I'd forget that" 3) building feelings of anxiety coupled with thoughts of "what if you did actually do that...why would you be feeling this building dread if you didnt...there has to be something here" 4) vague feelings of maybe having consciously repressing the memory. Vague feelings of starting to recall it happening usually coupled with imagining the situation. 5) the imagined scenarios you've pictured begin to feel like they could be real...slowly they begin to feel more and more real despite some small part of you knowing what you're allowing OCD to do. 6) boom...you know somewhere in you that this can't really be true but it's starting to feel so real. You start feeling shame, guilt, panic, fear, dread, depression...the guilt is growing. Who even are you? 7) ruminations for days. 8) you're starting to work on it. Do the necessary work. Accepting the uncertainty. Entertaining the possibility while also acknowledging that maybe this is still just OCD 9) the feelings are starting to lessen, but that feeling of doubt is still there begging you to come back and revisit it. You have to make sure! You don't know how to make sure as you literally have no real memory of it. Which also feeds the loop sort of. The lack of memory is just as much frightening as it I'd somewhat reassuring 10) you're finally starting to come down. You're still feeling residual fear/guilt/shame/whatever...but you're also starting to realize how silly all this was. You bounce back and forth between feelings of relief and realization that youre being crazy and feelings doubt and fear. 11) eventually you're ready to move onto the next thing OCD is gonna throw at you.

does anyone here suffer from both ocd and social anxiety? my ocd has been getting worse and i’ve recently realized that i also have social anxiety in new groups of people. my anxiety is so intense it drives me crazy. i wasn’t always like this. when i was a kid i used to be very confident and had a lot of friends. i always subconsciously shame myself for feeling this way and even though my ocd just let go of the last theme it had, my social anxiety has been making me even more miserable. social anxiety just seems to be such a loser disorder like «ooh i’m insecure and anxious and i’m afraid people will judge me» it makes me hate myself and i haven’t felt this way in a long time

My ocd is making me think I actually want to commit these hanus acts and I’m scared it’s something I actually want to do but I don’t want to do it and I’d never let myself

Let me start from the beginning. I’m a 26 year old mom, and the other day I was in the store saying my list of things I needed to myself out loud. Then I hear a guy (may 20 years old) say “ma’am are you talking to yourself?” Which I was saying my list. But when I looked at him he was just staring at his girlfriend. Later in the store I came across them in an aisle again and I heard him say “ma’am stop following us” (I totally wasn’t?) but I felt like at that point he was just trying to make his girlfriend laugh because he was saying it in a funny mockery type voice. And never directly to me. Well not long ago I was in the shower and I swore I heard my daughter call my name but when I got out she was still sound asleep in my bed. Then 2 nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard someone humming? So strange!! Then once again YESTERDAY I was in the shower singing to myself (normal enough right?) When I thought I heard someone else singing in the hallway but it also kinda sounded like when my dog is whining. But when I got out my dog was asleep. There was another time as I was falling asleep I thought I heard my own voice saying my name right in my ears! This is driving me insane. I’m terrified I’m schizophrenic. And everything I look up online says this is signs of schizophrenia. Does anyone have any insight? I feel like I’m checking every moment now if every sound I hear is real.

I’m really pushing myself to do exposures on my own and though I know logically it’s the right thing to do it’s so incredibly hard. I’ve overcome so many triggers and I know this is possible but it’s taking everything in me not to give into compulsions. Every second ocd is trying to grab me and lead me down the rabbit hole and it’s an exhausting fight. Just looking for words of encouragement ❤️

What's your thoughts?

I’ve had a really hard day, and OCD has convinced me my bed isn’t safe. My bed is my comfort spot so this is the worst place it could hit me. I have fear of paranormal contamination and bad luck/curses/haunting. Today was the birthday of someone who OCD believes to be paranormally contaminated. I was in the lounge and thought I saw a white cloudy thing out the corner of my eye but couldn’t see it when I looked again. It’s likely it was smoke or a reflection in my glasses but I couldn’t figure it out. I had a shower but got back into bed wearing the same clothes I was wearing when it happened. OCD is telling me that a ghost related to the paranormally contaminated person (because of their birthday) was in my house and has clung to my clothes so is therefore in my bed and will now cause all of the things I’m afraid of to happen to me whenever I use my bed. I wish i didn’t get into my bed but I was trying to fight it - it’s so hard to fight it when you then end up in a huge spell of rumination and planning of compulsions to alleviate the stress. I know I shouldn’t give in but I’m so afraid. All I want is a new bed but it’s not like you can just go and buy a new bed every time OCD tells you. I’m so tired of being scared that bad things are going to happen to me, and this feels like the lowest blow it could’ve dealt me. I just needed to get it off my chest to someone who understands, so if you read this - thank you.

I can't keep feeling this way

Has anyone on here have experience with being in a relationship or friendship with a narcissist? Just got out of a relationship with a guy that was emotionally abusive and pretty heartless. Im studying Narcissistic Personality disorder and was wondering if anyone has any experience. He has heightened my OCD a ton in the form of perfectionism OCD because he acted like I was the most imperfect person in the world. Working through it though with ERP

I am recovering from a pretty intense relapse with my OCD and it’s left me with different desires for my future. I have always wanted a family, but I am so deeply afraid of relapsing when I am married or have kids. I can’t even take care of myself when I’m like that much less children or hold a job. I’m afraid if it comes back I’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for and ever wanted. It petrifies me that it comes with out warning. I don’t want to get close to people in fear they will catch me at a time as such

Does anyone else with ocd feel like it’s hard to feel things sometimes. Like for example thinking of someone passing away u don’t feel sad. Or like just everyday things it’s hard to like know how u feel? If so what is this?!

My husband thinks he knows so much about OCD, like he’s an expert or something. I really struggle with confessing things with OCD, but any time I go to talk to my husband about something that actually happened and is not just a false memory, he doesn’t let me talk to him about it, but I just need him to know what happened. Of course, I know that I am probably blowing the thing that happened out of proportion, but how do I navigate this? He won’t let me talk to him about anything related to OCD really because he thinks I’m constantly “confessing” things to him.

What does that mean? I always hear people say it

Hello fellow ocd sufferers hahaha So yesterday my therapist asked me if I was exposed to gore at a young age which actually the answer was no And really nop But as I grew up I became a big fan of Tarantino movies and resident evil games Gorey things that are not so serious like evil dead and some horror movies Like I cannot enjoy movies where people suffer like really suffer or people torture other people or living beings just for the pleasure of it like hostal or saw There's like a limit of what I'd watch But the question of my therapist left me wondering if that makes me a bad person or that makes my ocd worse And if I should avoid these movies I really love Tarantino movies because they're about revenge, journey, self discovery, they have great soundtracks and amazing photography but idk My mind also hasn't been really well to watch that stuff lately

so i used to not give into the compulsions because my therapist told me it would relieve me more then being subject to doing it. I started having these meltdowns and get angry and have an episode, eventually i just gave into my compulsions and tweaking every little thing. I find its so comforting and helps me forget about what im stressing about. Since ive gave in i havent had any episodes, my anger seems to have resided. I’ve also had less intrusive/impulsive thoughts. I dont know really what to do because i find myself giving into them more and more everyday but at the same time im not really upset about it. ??

I’m exhausted and feel alone with my ocd. I’ve had it for 17 years and still feel like I need to beat it but I’m never going to get to that point and then if I’m starting to get better it feels unsettling. Can anyone relate? 💜

ive become fixated on the idea of somehow no longer being able to breathe and suffocating, just out of nowhere. and i know this isnt going to happen to me but im so scared of this happening that i start focusing on my breathing, and it feels like it IS harder to breathe but im pretty sure its just my anxiety and im playing tricks on myself… only issue is im not really sure if this is part of my ocd specifically

Does anyone else feel like OCD has become part of their entire life? Like I struggle with showering, using the bathroom, driving, trying to leave my house, cooking, eating, and doing my job. I feel like I’m drowning in it and it’s consuming my entire day and I feel like just breaking down and sobbing everyday over it. I see a therapist, and a psychiatrist but it’s been so bad that it’s taking a huge toll on my mental health and just my quality of life. I have gone through remission before, but it just feels like it has come back stronger and it’s just like seeping into everything in my day, it’s like I can’t ever escape it.

If I think all things done wrong are personal failures for erp are they going to make me do personal failures?