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I’ve been struggling a bit after being in the hospital for two weeks and this my first day out. Any words of encouragement would be great❤️

Hi guys! I've turned to you before but a new situation occured today and I want to understand my response. Like I said I have OCD harm and it is surrounded about my children and my residents I take care of, whom I love with my whole heart. My youngest son is very physical and always on top of me. Because of my disease it drives me up the wall! I feel so bad but it really freaks me out. Long story short he was on me today. Hand wrapped around him. I had an intrusive thought " what if I did something no one would know" it scared me and I pushed through but my nerves were so bad I ended up pushing some part of my hand on his arm. I was rushed with guilt. I'm also fighting strep and just feel so guilty.

I just want to feel normal again. My new theme is destroying me. I feel so lost and I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm glad this group exists. One of my few comforts has been knowing I'm not completely alone.

unfortunately I'm having a rough few days with OCD this week, even though I'm super excited to be finishing college and making progress in my treatment and therapy, last night I had a dream about an intrusive thought and it made me worry and it's on my mind throughout the day, I couldn't even sleep very well because I kept waking up and ruminating about what that dream could or couldn't mean. I hope tonight is calmer and that it doesn't affect my sleep so much, I really wish I could get rid of OCD for good, it's just too tiring and confusing some days.

Hiii, I have feeling i found comfort in my OCD and sitting home because of that, i am also so depressed but I can’t change it, i am also doing exposures and going out with my friends, but it gives me anxiety and next day I don’t have energy to do same. What do u think take it slow and do it step by step, or doing as much exposures as I can and try to resist anxiety. Btw I have harm OCD and my biggest fear is to hurt someone, so that is why I prefer to stay at home

I was basically having a breakdown arguing with my family, I was in the phone and my cat kept coming towards my feet meowing and I got mad and used my foot to push her out the door but she kinda went far and she went meow:( I slammed the door and I feel so f-ing bad I feel like I hurt her and im an abuser :( ive never done anything like this. I pushed her really hard with my foot. I know I didn’t kick her but what if the push really did hurt her:( im crying so bad im supposed to go on vacation today I don’t want to leave her

So I have been 5 days without intrusive thoughts which is a big accomplishment for me. Yesterday broke the streak. I was job shadowing and this girl i thought was so skinny and pretty how does she not have a boyfriend and i thought I was a dude i wouldn't turn my head away and now I'm thinking no one has said this before and that this means something. I know it's my ocd acting up but it's annoying. Plus it also tried to say in a narrative that sounded like me that I would date her and i immediately felt disturbed which just again told me everything about who I am sexually as a confident and comfortable straight woman

Frist off, I am not asking for reassurance nor do I have concrete plans of suicide, so please don't flag. I am just asking because my therapist was asking if I had Suicidal OCD or actual suicidal ideation, but I am unsure how to exactly tell them apart. I mostly get thoughts of "I am worthless and don't deserve to live" and intrusive images of seeing myself commiting suicide, but they theme ego-dystonic. On the other hand sometimes there are feeling of actual worthlessness and being overwhelmed with life.

How do you deal with the feelings of numbness?

I cannot picture myself in a relationship with a woman, never have. Any daydreams/fantasies I have are men. I've always had a new male crush. But because I enjoy GOG pxrn I worry it means I'm into girls in that way. Even chatting to men my ocd is telling me I'm only doing it because I want to prove I'm not into girls. I don't think of women in a sexual way and don't think I'd ever want to. I just enjoy GOG corn but not because of the act because they seem to enjoy it more than straight where its just 10 min BJs lol. Help me out.

does anyone ever feel weird about explaining their compulsions to people? my mom doesn’t believe i have ocd (haven’t been diagnosed) because she hasn’t “seen” me do compulsions and when i try to explain it to her, i just feel so awkward. another thing is most of my compulsions are more of an in the moment thing than me doing the same thing everyday. while i do have ones that are typically a daily occurrence, mine are reliant on being in the moment and when i need do something a number of times to feel “just right” if that makes sense. anyways, it’s just hard to explain that to people and i almost feel embarrassed to. i know i shouldn’t, but i just feel abnormal in a sense.

Today i feel like crying. I am so upset today. All my thoughts are negative and they just make me upset. I feel like i need a break from life. Everything is so hard. I just can't do it anymore. I was strong for so long but today i feel like giving up. I want to feel free atleast for a day. Everything seems so tough. I am not that strong enough. 😭😭😭

My daughter is done with therapists. I don’t blame her. They shame and laugh. I quit trying to push that as it doesn’t help. Every few months she breaks down crying how bad her OCD and life is. She also turns her hurts on me. I’m broken watching her, not being able to help her. She can’t even work. She was told by disability she has OCD but no financial help was awarded. I guess she is high functioning which is a joke. Her life is shattered. My heart is broken.

My mind keeps going in circles and it’s so much to think about and I don’t know how to stop it and I’m all alone. I don’t have anyone I can go to and it’s hard for me to feel like anyone cares about me. Maybe my head is spiraling right now? It feels like it is 😭😭😭 I just want it to stoppppp it’s putting me in a fog and I’m so scared ):

Does anyone else get really anxious at night and have a bunch of compulsive habits at night to try and feel calm about being safe at night? For me this includes pushing repeatedly on door bolts and locks and also touching random items over and over again, as well as other random motions I do. Even with these things I can’t seem to relax and feel like I have a constant irrational fear about having my home being broken into, especially at night, and a fear of me or someone in my family being hurt. I don’t know what to do because we have an alarm system and I just feel like I am somehow always thinking of the possibilities and subconsciously listening for noises and I just wish I could calm down:(

Im scared of what’s gonna happen when I die like im so uncertain and I get BAD panic attacks about what’s gonna happen to me like I get these thoughts like if my gonna live forever, like is just a forever loop or is just gonna be nothing. Im catholic and I believe in heaven or hell but im really not sure. I’ve struggled with my faith since I’ve been 13 and it’s getting worse, I’ve heard about all these theories about what’s gonna happen after we die and I always get so scared about them. One time my aunt told me that we are souls, spirits that we are energy and just being in our body having an experience but our souls are immortal so im scared about the thought of living forever that scares me so much because at the same time I want to have peace. There’s other things that really really give me panic attacks about that subject but I can’t list them all here if you want to help me out then I’ll tell you more.

Hey guys so I just got broken up with in the last week. I’ve always had really bad ocd and self harm thoughts. When my bf and I moved into together I was so happy and he understood how to help me with my ocd. I didn’t have bad thoughts for the full 8 months we were together! And then we broke up bc I found out a lot of things he was lying about. I’m living back home again, single and all of my bad thoughts and urges are back again, I don’t know how to make it stop. Living with him is the FIRST time I’ve had these thoughts go away. Now everything is bad once again. If anyone has any advice that could help I’d appreciate it.

Hey guys! So I’m suffering with this subtype. I feel like I developed a crush on someone of the same sex and I have always identified as a straight woman. I’ve always been attracted to men. I feel like I get the feelings of a crush but it’s always followed by intense anxiety. “What if this crush is real?” “Am I now Bi?” I just can’t shake the feeling that the feelings are real and I need to accept them but then what if it’s false attraction or OCD? “What if I’m in denial?” I’m in a relationship with a man who I really love and want to be with. I only want feelings for him. I don’t want to like women or be attracted to a woman. What do I do?

Hello, I am fairly new to this app. I wanted to speak about the way I dream. I have dreams like I am hurt physically usually bloody either self inflicted or by some random person in my dream. Then I get saved by people I care about like friends or even people that I have a crush on. Or sometimes I have dreams that I speak about tramuatic events that I went through as a child to a crush and the feel bad for me and want to help me. I dont fear these dreams at all but I notice every time I sleep I ball my fists and when I dont I cant sleep.I clench my fists so hard in the morning they are sore. Also these dreams are almost every night.I am also very sensitive to how people talk to me if I am yelled at I shut down and have chest palpitations that radiate to my heart to my arms numbing it. Does anyone else experience any of these? Ive been researching and found myself here. For reference I have been tested for ADHD and I dont have it but I was told I might have OCD from the other symptoms I experience like heavy Intrusive thoughts, anxiety attacks/episodes, depression,dissociation ( like I am not real and even my emotions are like frozen and more) , bothered all day if something is moved by someone else when I put it a certain way, rituals ( blinking, and looking away from something multiple times mostly in number of twos etc), contamination ( washing my hands many times in between getting dressed after eacb task to feel clean), hating certain textures of fabrics or objects(more of a werid one ive had for a long time),procrastination, reassurance on all my action causing me to not think for myself, poor memory or false memory,and more.Any response would be helpful.

18+ I remember a few years ago I was still getting dressed and my gf opened the door to her younger brother without noticing I was still changing and he’s like a little over 3 years younger than me. he must’ve been 14-15 at the time. But I had my bra on I was just putting on my shirt and I can’t remember why but I didn’t say anything even though I noticed. I’m scared I traumatized him. It took my girlfriend like 10 seconds to realize I was still getting dressed. I was kind of off to the side but it looked like he saw me so yeah.