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How do I respond to intrusive thoughts. Any examples?

I am feeling hopeless and panicked for the first time. I don’t want to be dead. I want to not have these suicidal thoughts. I am so scared I will be stuck like this. It feels like if can’t get worse. I want to get better. I don’t want to die. Anyone feel like this before and get better?

I haven’t been diagnosed and I do plan to see a psychiatrist either by the end of this month or next to get diagnosed. But even if this is ocd I don’t think erp will work for me, so my main theme that I’m dealing with is harm intrusive thoughts towards others (that are mostly toward my mother) yes a few months ago (April and may) my anxiety would skyrocket each time I had these thoughts (which was everyday even to this day) and what would trigger me would be random TikTok’s of crime, and knives, and being in the kitchen, I would look at backgrounds of perpetrators, and see if I fit their profile. And that would give me anxiety even thought it was a compulsion. But now whenever I do see these triggers, they don’t cause as much anxiety as they used to, and even then my anxiety has waned since then, sometimes yeah I do get anxiety attacks, but not as bad as when this whole thing first started. Even then I guess I do somewhat of erp when I go to the kitchen at night and eat Oreos, but the thoughts don’t go away. Even then I feel so numb and if you were to tell me that I am going to snap and become psychotic I wouldn’t feel no anxiety or just feel nothing(maybe the tiniest bit of fear) but still. I don’t know if erp will work for me which then begs the question if this is even ocd. I really hope this is just ocd and not a personality disorder

is everyone with ocd just destined to worry about every theme? because i didn’t think i could worry about something else but here we are. and what’s even worse is i’m not even diagnosed. anyways, i’ve been struggling with suicidal ocd as of late. i’m having very contradictory thoughts where i just feel sick thinking about having to live the rest of my life with all of this anxiety or just living in general, but then when i think about self harm in any way, i start worrying and finding reassurance that i would never do that. i’ve reassured myself twice today which is usually not common for me, but once that reassuring feeling goes away, i’m back to square one. is this a common experience with people who struggle with suicidal ocd? i don’t understand how it came about because i’ve never worried about anything self-harm related. i’m thinking it was triggered by a movie i watched.

Hey, everyone. So I am a college student going into my sophomore year in fall. For reference I am 19 and have ocd which I found out recently.College is rough for me in social settings especially rotc which requires a lot of communication. So my freshman year in fall I avoided all outings but in spring I got out more and became more involved. I noticed when I got more involved I enjoyed it but it made me very exhausted mentally .I want to get even more involved in college and make friends because I only have friends in rotc and none through the college. One thing that I think about a lot is relationships. I recently left a toxic relationship of 4 years in March. This whole summer I have been wanting to get out again and potentially talk to people again.I have asked around and many people say that it doesn’t matter how long you wait after the relationship but if you feel ready again go for it. At first I felt guilt right after the relationship for wanting to talk to someone else but many people told me that healing is a process it won’t happen right away and it might even happen while talking to people. I feel like there is nothing wrong when talking to people before it gets serious because the mistake with my ex was we just dated straight away we didn’t talk to get to know each other. I want to start talking to people but at the same time I feel like God wants me to wait and be patient. So I am unsure because many people say God will bring the one to you when you are ready but if you seek you might be tested. Also I don’t know where to start with talking to people and finding people it’s like the dating market has changed and every guy that tries to reach out to me wants nudes and talk to me inappropriately.Also I don’t go out much it overstimulates me after a while. I just want to get to know someone and take things slow. Even if things don’t go that way it would be nice to have a friend. I have many friends but I keep all of them at a distance because I trusted my ex with a lot. But now I sit back and realize I never had even a true friend or a healthy relationship. And I know I am still young and their is no rush but that’s why I said to get to know someone before even getting to the relationship part.Any thoughts?

Hi! Does anyone think my ocd could’ve spiked through perfectionism in sports? I play sports at a high level and I’m insanely hard on myself. Is this a thing?

Hello everyone, I'm new here 💗 I have been really struggling these past few weeks with a memory of harming someone. This is all I'm thinking about and its making me feel physically sick with worry. I think I have instant false memories? Where I have an intrusive thought and immediately think it's happened. If I dont check my surroundings and immediately engage with compulsions (checking no one was harmed) then I know I'll be haunted with a false memory a few hours or even minutes later. Is anyone else familiar with this? It's destroying me.

Been struggling with my OCD, ruminating and compulsive behavior. I was watching a video from a podcast called “Cumtown”. One of the hosts, Nick Mullen, was talking about his childhood, being what one would call “troubled kid”. Purposely taking magnets, putting them on the computer screen to damage them and then blaming the mentally disabled kid in the classroom. Awful, right? Well then he talked about a time that he saw two kids playing “titanic” which involved them going to a tent and being unseen by other kids. One kid happened to peek into the tent and turned with a look of horror. Then immediately went to a teacher and told him, then the teacher walked progressively quick to the tent and separated the boy from the girl. Nick, jumping to conclusions and laughing, assumed that “the boy must have been molesting the girl if he had to be separated like from the teacher.” Then afterwards one the hosts asked Nick Mullen, if “he’d ever molested?” To which he responded “… I mean don’t think so, just a kid older than me sucked my dick once…” then laughing uncomfortable. This video really triggered my OCD so hard with images of every situation that Nick Mullen talked about. Of course, how would have I known that Nick would have been so dark about certain situations, however the fact that my brain could picture the things going on with his story really took my OCD to 8/10 in stress. It’s very difficult to cope at the moment and I am doing my exercises to diminish the stress, disgust and anxiety of this situation. I am just having a bad week with OCD and I am not coping well with it, plus I am 10 months sober, so I am dealing with sobriety as well. I am just overwhelmed with anxiety and stress. I don’t know what to do.

Anyone feel there clothes are contaminated due to things from the past? Like “I hung out with this person in this shirt….that person is someone I don’t want in my life….i need to get rid of the clothing because it’s contaminated with the individual”….????

I had a job opportunity come up and the owners of the place are a lesbian couple and that is making me freak and feel concerned about moving forward with this job. my ocd is telling me all sorts of things like that i want to work there BECAUSE of that or that i find the more masculine one attractive. i’m truly spiraling. i don’t know what to do my ocd just keeps telling me it’s true and it worries me that i don’t have ocd and i then worry because i love my boyfriend and it’s just so much.

I fucked up in the past, the individual I did wrong has forgiven me and wants to move on from this “mistake(s)” but I simply cannot. I hate myself and can’t fathom why I would even do or say such things and now all I do is feel shame and guilt. I can’t be in the now and I can’t seem to move on. Please anymore help…..

I’ve been going on dates with this guy. He is so so sweet, respectful beyond belief and what I want in a guy to date. My anxiety/ OCD keeps getting to me because I see him active on Facebook and Instagram and he hasn’t responded to my message for over an hour yet it active on socials. I don’t want to sound obsessive or crazy but I get worried he isn’t as interested. I try to tell myself he could just need to a break from talking to people, he may be bored and forgot I messaged him, etc. but my OCD keeps telling me he isn’t interested, is annoyed with me, etc. I’ve been cheated on before and had more than one time where this exact thing happened and the guy was not interested and kept ignoring my messages and it’s freaking me out. When he does message me back regularly he always sounds very interested in me still and says he wants to go on more dates still but my OCD won’t shut up. Any advice?? I hate that my OCD does this and I refuse to keep messaging over and over first. I don’t wanna look or seem desperate…. Help.

found messages of me and my ex bsf (she’s 2 years below me in grade, two and a half years younger) from 4 years ago of us saying sexual flirtatious things to each other and also sexual jokes. at the time we were two years apart. when i found this i thought i should just take myself out. i feel as though i am a p, i am my biggest fear now. i feel as though i cannot live with myself. im trying to tell myself i was young and we were both young but im scared i groomed her or something. also i just got so disgusted and in fear that this may get out (i told my friend about this and he said im not weird and to stop worrying about it) but im scared i will be called a p and have the label stamped on me. i do not want to be one. i don’t want to even be here anymore.

So for some time my relationship with my partner has been what would be qualified as a “Dead Bedroom” or a “Sexless Marriage”. I am working through a lot of shame and scrupulously from growing up in purity culture and my marriage has been harmed on multiple occasions by my compulsively viewing pornography and attempting to hide it from my spouse. Whenever I feel attraction or sexual desire for my spouse, it feels the same way as other intrusive thoughts (triggers anxiety, triggering BFRBs, thoughts of self harm). The main issue is that, I know that because of damaged trust in the relationship and my spouse’s own mental and physical health issues that these desires and thoughts are not reciprocated. I don’t want to put pressure on the relationship by communicating these wants and feelings, but I feel like trying to squash these thoughts at any cost seems counterproductive to OCD treatment. Anyone else have any thoughts or advice?

I think my life would be a lot easier. This is me confessing in my full selfishness. I don’t care that they’re kind, fun people. I don’t care that they like me or find me beautiful. They don’t need to have my bf as a friend. This is my honest, dark, evil truth. ☹️

Every few months (3-4) I have a flare up of my sexual orientation OCD, but during the periods in between those flare ups I still get the thoughts every day I just don’t have horrible anxiety and I’m able to brush them off better. Is this still OCD? When it first happened it was 24/7 for around three or four months, then got a bit better, but still was there in the background. This has been the case for the last ten years— it has never fully gone away, it’s just been in the back of my head. I’ve never forgotten that I’m afraid of being a lesbian, but there are periods where I’m so anxious I consider suicide. I’m too afraid to do therapy because I think I will come out of it as a lesbian. Please, someone engage.

Hello everyone, I am fairly new to learning about OCD and an acquaintance of mine commented yesterday that they had been tested for OCD and scored quite high. However, later someone (doctor or professional, not sure) told her it was not OCD because she was able to work and travel and she is now under the impression that true OCD is debilitating and “utterly consuming”. She was then diagnosed with autism. I am wondering how valid this statement about OCD is. It doesn’t feel right to me but..not completely sure. Thank you.

Hi all, Question/comment on my journey. I've been dealing with so ocd for a few years and have ridden it's waves but recently identified a new trigger where reading stories of people realizing they're gay after years of a happy relationship sparks a ton of fear in me. I did some ERP by intentionally reading these stories and trying to write down that it's ok and my partner is supportive and if I'm happy now I can be ok with that despite uncertainty. My question is while I'm reading these stories I got to the point of dizziness, nausea and was shaking. Should I keep reading stories and let the anxiety build in moments like this or am I ok at that peak discomfort to write down my what ifs and do deep breathing? I just want to make sure I'm doing ERP correct. Thanks!

[TW: Sexual trauma, fetishes and kinks, POCD, guilt and mentions of suicidal thoughts] I've been hit hard with a variation of my OCD theme (POCD woo 🙄). And I've been researching and seeking reassurance like there's no tomorrow. I was doing so good, but then OCD grabbed the reigns and bam! What I'm dealing with is a combination of my OCD, my childhood trauma, and my sexuality and fetishes. And these are fetishes I can't deny I have, but I don't want them! My OCD is royally messing with me as it's not so much, "I'm afraid I'll be attracted to thos thing" but more of "you're attracted to this thing so what do you'd like this messed illegal thing! Or what if you have looked at a messed up illegal thing and are going to jail! And no one will love you! And your life is over!" Etc. It hurts so bad, I wish my trauma didn't give me the fetishes and kinks I like. But I understand it's a normal way the brain helps you deal with stuff. It's been so hard and so scary. I hate that I am a sexual being at all. For crying out loud I've never even had a first kiss let alone literally anything more than that! I feel dirty, guilty and ashamed. I am seeing a trauma and sex therapist to help me process this stuff. But of course OCD being the attention hog is like "Lemme squeeze in here and just totally ruin your day!" Because god knows it never gets enough attention 🙄 I feel like if I have desires or things I like that are too messed up what's the point of me being alive of most everyone would call me a perverted monster. I don't want anyone to get hurt in real life. I don't want to hurt anyone. If my sexuality is demented and there's nothing I can do about it, how long could I live with myself carrying this awful secret? I need help, not reassurance, but how the hell do I practice radical acceptance with this???

I developed rocd after having a long distance relationship. I've had other themes before but didn't know I had ocd... Just called it anxiety. At first I obsessed over if the relationship was right or if he really loved me or I loved him. We finally moved in together and it switched to is he going to cheat on me and is he looking at other women. The problem is, bedsides having anxiety about it all day, that he does stare at other women ALOT. It makes it so much harder. He says he doesn't stare at women but I see him doing it. I used to enjoy going out and doing things with him but now I just watch him to see if he's looking at other women. I really just want to stop it and enjoy the relationship again. He knows I have ocd and is cool about it. I'm doing erp therapy for it. When I was married before if my ex looked at a pretty woman I would just give him a look and think it was annoying and move on with my day. Now I will obsess about it all day if my current partner does it. Any suggestions?