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does anyone else feel like their life is ran by OCD right now? Can’t have “me time” , can’t simply change my kid , can’t play with my kid without feeling like something is gonna happen. i’m crying right now about it and sometimes I just wanna give my daughter up for adoption just so I know it’s not gonna happen. but that’s gonna hurt me too so I won’t be entirely free , WHAT DO I DO??? help ….

Hey guys, I have taken just 1 pill of lexapro yesterday and I cannot sleep a lick. Is this Normal? Obviously not being able to sleep is causing me some anxiety of course. Still struggling to determine whether I am dealing with harm ocd or suicidal thoughts. Hopefully the meds and therapy can help.

Its a very anxious night for me as a parent. I went to tuck my child in and i worried with groinal responses i still hugged my child goodnight than worried did i brush up or lean toward them inappropriately and then she was sad i was leaving. I wanted another hug so i hugged her again and ocd tried saying i had bad intent. Its so exhausting fighting ocd as a parent in distress

My first memory of doing compulsive actions to ease anxiety was when my mom had her final stroke. I remember there was urine everywhere because she had it as she was going to the restroom and I was the only one home. I was 11 at the time and she was so scared and i didn’t know what to do, I was just trying to clean up the mess and help her while keeping it together. Long story short, while the paramedics where stabilizing her in the ambulance I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and no matter how much I washed I couldn’t get the “dirty” feeling off. It slowly progressed as I grew up and got worse and worse. Everything I touch a lot of time feels like either my brother or mother touched it. My brother was alway extremely violent and after my mom passed I started to have nightmares that he would sexually assault me, because my bio father is a pedo and I keep grouping my brother and him together, like they are working to ruin my life. And thoughts like that and everything with my mom is drowning me. I don’t know how to let the past go. I’m writing this because at the moment I feel so contaminated and I’m so stuck. Sorry for tmi, I just want to understand if my past is triggering my ocd and how would I solve that?? Even though that’s a big question , any advice or anything would be so appreciated.

Im actually confused is this an intrusive thoughts? when im doing something it feels like my brain is monitoring how i think how i feel or what i say. it would say things like these and i would fall into problem solving, trying to fix or clear any doubts my brain has or clearing out my intention. “ Did you feel anything when you looked at that kid?” “Why did you have that thought? you probably liked it” “Why did you accidentally say that? even though you said you didnt mean to say it, you still said it” (not verbally, still mental) “When you said the person is cute does that mean you see a kid in them? youre probably a pedo because of that” “what do you feel about their younger version?” “what did you think or feel during the interaction?” Sometimes these thoughts would come up to question me and would result into mentally checking what i thought or what i feel when something happend. Or like sometimes a feeling would come or a thought would come, this would make me question myself as to why i had that thought or feeling. Again this would result in me mentally checking or trying to fix or prove that i didnt even mean anything bad or trying to convince myself that its just ocd. I know i should but i feel like i really should clear it up, but at the same time i feel like im doing a compulsion. these are thoughts that questions my intention or why im having a thought at a certain moment which sometimes would come with feelings and make it look like its real which is why i fall in mental compulsions

I’m a Catholic Christian and I love my religion so much. I have found that every now and again, my OCD becomes triggered and I find myself distancing from God & my faith, and avoiding (or trying to) avoid God because religion starts to give me anxiety or trigger my OCD. Lately, like the past week and a half, I think I’ve been doing well. I’m still anxious (and talking about it makes me anxious too, so I guess this is kind of an exposure), but I’ve been trying to keep practicing my faith nonetheless. I’m proud of myself, I’ve been able to keep my OCD at bay and continue to live my life and practice my faith. I even have anxiety right now, but instead of dwelling on “what if?”, I’m trying to continue telling my OCD “so what?” I would just like to know, what do you guys do to deal with moments of anxiety or fear or irrational thinking?

This is my first post and I’m not sure how I’m exactly supposed to do this lol. But my puppy I recently got has fleas and she sleeps inside since she’s small and it’s hot so I’ve been cleaning my room and around the house and the pup but I can’t do much since she’s too young to take any preventatives. But I keep finding a flea on me and I’ve been anxious to sleep in my room thinking they might be in there or scared to make my room dirty so I’ve been sleeping in a separate room from my house and I recently left for 3 days leaving the care of the pup with my friend. I’m going back home today and I’m worried about the fleas even though I’ve been doing as much as I can. I’ve been relaxed while away but now that I’m returning home I cannot help but think about how I felt when I was home and it sucks because I love my home and being home and I don’t want to view it as negative but that’s how I’ve been feeling :(. And I just want some more hope about this flea situation or advice from people that have been thought this.

All i ever do is lose. Just lose at fucking everything in life even though I beg to god that I can win at least one fucking thing. To be good at one fucking thing. To be excellent at one fucking thing. And I cant even do that. I cant even win at my video games. The smallest win I cant even get. Im in fucking hell. A hell where Im alone and theres no one to comfort me because they think im feeling sorry for myself. I hate my existence and my life so fucking bad. What am I sorry about my life for if all I want to is make the suffering stop? I constantly play, try to improve, but theres nothing I can do that makes me stand out. Nothing I can do that makes me worthy of anything. I hate this world, i hate god for hating me, and I hate myself. Hate myself for not being good enough for any goddamn thing. Im sick. Im fucking sick. Im sick of this. Im sick of me. Im sick of not being good enough at any fucking thing despite my efforts. Nothing I do matters. Nothing about me is special. Im so goddamn tired of it all... im damned to hell... or maybe im there... i dont fucking know.

Is there a point to living anymore

Hi. I have been having extreme anxiety about passing out and fainting. I constantly am checking my blood pressure and heart rate and last week I passed out and went to the hospital. But it turns out it was just stress all my tests were clean. This happens especially when driving feeling faint and anxious. It’s causing me to have high blood pressure. If you go through the same thing what do you do to help yourself? Or coach yourself through it? It’s been a struggle lately.

Hi everyone. I am currently on Luvox after being on Prozac (20-40mg) for the last 5 years. Prozac was no longer working for me so my doctor/therapist and I decided to switch SSRIs. With help from my primary care doctor, I tapered off of Prozac while tapering on to Luvox over the course of a few weeks. I am now off of Prozac and on 150mg of Luvox. I had a couple good weeks where there were more good days than bad, but recently I have felt more depressed, anxious, and in my head on 150mg of Luvox. The anxiety/Harm/Suicidal/Relationship/Pure OCD has been ramping up and it makes me feel a bit hopeless that I won’t get better. The mornings are hard when you feel like it’s just another day suffering through the ups and downs. If anyone can share their ideal Luvox dosage/medicine combo where they finally felt consistent relief from intrusive thoughts and rumination, I would be so appreciative. I know switching medicine and doing ERP is a long process, and I’ve only been in the thick of it for 5 weeks (6/29-8/2), but as I’m sure you can all understand, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this disorder. Any positivity, encouragement, advice, coping mechanisms/tools and success stories are appreciated!

If we do it may have triggers to do with sa against me and survivors guilt.. I just really need to talk to someone right now, I'm really not doing well. I can't stop crying

Something I’m really struggling with is the thoughts of having a child. My husband and I got married last year and always planned to have kids. I am currently experiencing an OCD “flare” and I’m wondering how ethical it is for me to have a child knowing I may pass this condition on. Any insight is appreciated!

I have partner focused rocd and I have been with my bf for over a year now and we have engaged in sexual stuff obviously, my ocd has randomly latched onto consent?? Like there has been times where my bf asked to do something sexual and I’ve just made “unsure noises” and he has said “please” a couple of times and I did the sexual thing. I was fine throughout the sexual acts and wasn’t really uncomfortable but my ocd is trying to convince me I was uncomfortable. My boyfriend and I have autism and sometimes struggle understanding things and need straight forward/clear answers. My boyfriend said a few times he’s said “please” or asked me to do something else after I didn’t say yes is because he wasn’t sure what I was giving off wether I was not wanting to do it or if I was just thinking. The times he’s said please he took it as me thinking. I do see why he would be unsure as sometimes I don’t give a straight forward yes or no sometimes because I am awkward. I asked him if I need to be clearer with saying no because I am a bit of a people pleaser and he said yes and it’s completely okay if I say no and he will be fine if I ever say no and I can make it clear and I don’t sound “mean”. A lot of the time I have low motivation because of ADHD and I might be unsure/can’t be arsed to do it but then he does something and I enjoy it and want to do more because it gave me motivation. My ocd still tries to convince me it’s bad??? Also my boyfriend sometimes does playful silly stuff like smack my behind when I’m infront of him and I do it back and it’s funny but sometimes my ocd is like “omg he didn’t ask that’s really bad!” My boyfriend has said if he does something I don’t want him to do in that moment I can just say no. My ocd constantly tries to make him a bad person. Can Anyone relate/help?

Recently i’ve been having a very tough time. I keep getting a physical sensation that i have eyebrow hairs sticking out which causes me to obsessively feel my eyebrows with my hands and to pick out hairs with my hands. I really want to see them in the mirror, but looking in the mirror causes so many compulsions, where i have to do things such as see my eyebrow a certain way, blink at it a certain way, cut/tweeze them very precisely. I don’t know what to do cause when i feel them with my hands i keep feeling small hairs sticking out but i’m not sure if it’s actually like that because idk whether i should look in the mirror or not. Yesterday i pulled out some hairs with my hands and im concerned it also looks as if there’s not much hair in that area, but without seeing it in the mirror, i wouldn’t know. Should i just look at them in the mirror and make the necessary changes even though it could cause more compulsions? Because if i don’t, i go on thinking about them and feeling them with my hands all the time and then if i feel something wrong, it triggers me even more. pls, if anyone has advice, bc i’ve been struggling with this theme of ocd for a long time.

Hi I got my OCD 3 months back after watching a horror movie as I connected that movie with my past experience. Does any one enjoy horror movies who could help me to break my OCD by watching that movie. Kindly let me know

Recently I’ve come back to God, specially Christianity. I prayed and wrote to God for a sign concerning a mistake I made, and put within this letter for him to show me a yellow car if everything is going to be ok. Kid you not, same day I see a yellow truck parked while driving. I believe I was answered but my mind keeps nagging me I wasn’t. Do you think this is the devil and ocd trying to downplay what I prayed and wrote to God for? I know you shouldn’t ask for signs and wonders, but I desperately needed one.

My anxiety fluctuates throughout the weeks and it gets me so confused! One day I have absolutely no anxiety but the intrusive thoughts still remain, but aren’t as intense. The next day, the anxiety rises again and I tend to do more physical compulsions since the intrusive thoughts are more intense. I have no idea if it’s an influence from my daily structure (more anxiety on the weekend?) or if its hormonal or something else. I really don’t get how ocd works sometimes

Hi! Does anyone else find it hard to accept that you have ocd? I think it’s the most difficult part.

If I was 13 years old, and I made a severely horrible childhood POCD mistake that I was told about earlier in the day, but had forgotten about it because I had never heard of that mistake or done it before, should I be punished for it as a 23 year old?Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 22... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that she doesnt remember it, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I was told what this word was, but I had forgotten it... I did not have full knowledge or full understanding on how horrible this mistake was... I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…  It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭