Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Is there anyone out there who has tips and tricks or getting out of a spiral or preventing one. Lately I’ve been struggling with not giving in to my compulsions but it’s so hard. Any good advice or tips on anything reducing anxiety or spirals would be so helpful.

it’s my sisters wedding tomorrow and i’ve arrived at the venue, i am struggling to enjoy the moment due to my intrusive thoughts, it feels as if i am drowning in my mind and i don’t deserve to be here, does anyone have any tips so i can enjoy myself. i just want to be normal i’m only 16

Please send positive energy. Our son has been struggling for quite some time. He’s done in-patient, PHP & IOP as well as meds and doing ERP for about 5 months. Fighting very hard to resist compulsions but still falters, which is to be expected, but those days are horrible for all of us, as the confessions and reassurance seeking is constant. The intrusive thoughts are there all day, every day, torturing him. Please tell us your success stories so we can remain hopeful. Thank you & much love to all💕

Please give us positive vibes. Our son has been struggling for quite some time now and doing ERP for about 5 months, in patient PHP & IOP. Working very hard on resisting compulsions but his “bad” days are horrible. We know it takes time… Please tell us your success stories . Thank you & much love to you all💕

A few months back, I was struggling with intrusive thoughts about my Dad. I was having thoughts like he was looking at me inappropriately, like he was going to hurt me, etc. But now, I don't even know if its OCD anymore. He says stuff like he's going to k1ll me, and he's going to punch me. I flinch around him, and I don't feel safe in a conclusion. At first, I didn't blame it on him, said it was my fault I'm feeling this uncomfortable way, and he would never do that. And I have a feeling he wouldn't, but he still makes me uncomfortable. Its also that he doesn't respect my boundaries. I have this thing about people looking at me for a long time. It makes me incredibly anxious and uncomfortable. I know its a strong request, but i just mean constant looking at me for long periods of time. So in order to feel more comfortable, i spook out about it to my family. To say the least my sister is the only one who understands and respect that. My mom try's to, but at least I don't get uncomfortable from her stare. My dad doesn't even care. He says "your my fucking daughter, I can look at you if i want" And when i tell him it makes me uncomfortable he says "I'm not looking at you inappropriately??" but it feels like he is sometimes. And i hate it. Cause i feel like its all my fault. I feel like its all just my paranoia and my OCD telling me he's looking at me like that. Cause then i tried checking. (ik, i shouldn't be, but I'm a day or two compulsion free so :DD) But i tried seeing if he looked at other people the same way. And he does, he looks at my mom, my sister the same way. But when he looks at them in that way, it doesn't feel creepy, and it does when he looks at me. I have a feeling this is all just OCD, its the effects of struggling with intrusive thoughts. it scarred me and now my brain cant undo it. Idk..

So I’ve been having a lot of mental obsessions recently and my OCD has mainly focused there instead of physically. It kinda just switched up which is odd and I’m not sure what that means. But it’s getting pretty bad. The ones I’ve noticed so far is ruminating and not being able to let things go. Whenever I get anxious about something I’ll go back and think about it over and over and my mind will keep bugging me about it until I can properly reassure myself. No matter what it is something will bug me and I’ll go on and on for hours thinking about it even just waking up from sleeping. I just recently opened up to my mom about something not exactly bad or crazy but just personal to me because it’s a more softer side of me, and now my mind keeps eating at me and bugging me that it’ll affect something or maybe I said the wrong thing. My mind is just now fixated on a certain part of what I said and keeps bugging me about it and it’s actually pretty stressful. I’ve never dealt with this amount of Pure OCD (I’m not diagnosed yet but that’s what it seems like from what I’ve researched), and it’s getting worse. Another part that is bugging me is not being able to let go of it, no matter how much I reassure myself my mind won’t let it go. I have to constantly get reassurance either from my partner or myself and sometimes that’s stressful because then I’m anxious that I’m being annoying or too much. I honestly have no idea what to do and it’s becoming a lot for me. Can anyone help?

I ignore the thoughts and keep trying to do my uni work, sitting with the anxiety and not listening to the thought, why is it not going away? Is that the same as sitting with the thought? Am I doing erp on the thought by ignoring it and continuing with what I do? Im freaking out I don’t have ocd

I work as a Digital Art Instructor for my job, and recently we've started opening up workshops to the public. This Friday, I have to teach a class on how to draw chibi anime characters and I'm absolutely petrified. I can barely eat or sleep and feel like crying all the time. My imposter syndrome is killing me and I feel like such a fake artist who has no right to be teaching anyone. My boss obviously doesn't care and hasn't been too kind about it, which is whatever because it's not her problem, but it doesn’t help. I'm just so frustrated. I hate being like this. This is supposed to be so easy. I know comparing myself to other people doesn't help, but I just feel so useless. Why is everything so hard for me? I think the worst part is, even when it's over and done and I'm somehow able to function again, I know I'll have to go through it all over again next time. Not necessarily looking for anything, just venting. Kind words are appreciated or any recount of other people dealing with this would help make me feel less alone. Thanks.

i could be fine one day and then all of a sudden go into this long period that lasts a few days, sometimes even weeks where i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. i will be talking to my boyfriend and think to myself “ is this really my boyfriend do i even like him “ or i’ll look at my family and be like “ is this really my family “, i feel so out of touch with reality and it is so scary. things look distorted, i feel like i am behind myself 24/7, like i am watching myself through a movie or something. it is so scary and i feel like there’s something wrong with me, and what sucks is i cant even explain what i feel, and i feel extremely alone. my birthday is coming up and i feel like i wont even be able to have fun because i will feel so weird and not present at all, i dont know what to do and i will feel this way out of nowhere. some days its worse than others, idk i feel like im genuinely losing my mind or that im gonna lose my mind and go crazy. is this normal?

I just had groceries delivered. I struggle really badly with contamination ocd, and the delivery guy left the groceries on the ground behind my car, without any bags. Just straight on the ground outside. Now I don’t know what to do. I feel like they are too dirty to bring into the house, and I don’t want to eat from anything that was touching the ground…. I feel so stupid, but I have been panicking for an hour not knowing what to do with them. Even if I wipe them, it feels like they won’t be clean enough and are still dirty and contaminated.

I’ve been dealing with this harm theme for almost four months now, and well obviously life hasn’t been the best for me, the thoughts really circulate on hurting others, why couldn’t they just been about me instead? (I apologize to those currently suffering from self harm ocd) it’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if my thoughts are really intrusive now, and it doesn’t help that I get urges to act on these thoughts. Why have I been cursed with such vile thoughts why me why now. The only good news so far is that I’m finally going to see if this is ocd or not and get diagnosed by a psychiatrist once I start college here in a few weeks(Thank gatos for my college has mental health resources) but honestly it just doesn’t really feel like ocd. I don’t know if I feel anxiety because it’s not the typical anxiety I feel. While my compulsions are mental it’s just wierd. Like I’m worried that ERP wouldn’t work for me. Sometimes I get thoughts like, how do people live without these thoughts? And how do they occupy their time? I know I used to be like other people, yk where I wasn’t worried or concerned because of these thoughts, like yeah I’ve had intrusive thoughts before in the past and they absolutely scared me, but I was just able to get over them. So why now does it feel like i can’t shake them off? Why do they have to show up everyday? And why have I become so apathetic? Like my empathy and sympathy feel like they’ve disappeared? And it’s so bad that sometimes I feel like if someone close to me just passed away I would feel nothing. Like when I heard my abuelo had skin cancer I just felt nothing and I was obsessing over the fact that I didn’t. Has anyone ever felt this way? Is it just ocd or something worse?

Hi everyone, I am 20 years old with ADHD and i need some help. Recently, i got diagnosed with OCD; and i am dealing with Real event OCD/intrusive thoughts. When i was 16, i said something out loud (i think that was impulsive/intrusive) that was immorally wrong and against my morals. I was aware of my wrong doing, yet i still said it because i announced it in a “jokingly way” i completely regret it and ashamed of it. i don’t want to go into detail on what i said, because i don’t feel comfortable. But anyways, at the time i didn’t think what i said was “bad” and i just brushed it off to the side. then 1-2 months later, i came to the realization, that what i said was wrong. Since then, i have been fixated on the event as i feel like a “bad person”. What is wrong with me? Why would i say that? I feel like i don’t deserve pity or forgiveness. I don’t know what to do. I am not trying to find reassurance. I just want to find people who share similar experiences.

about a month ago i experienced an intrusive thoight about becoming a murderer and it completely shocked me i panicked and began searching things up and came across intrusive thoughts and ever since discovering them i have them all the time and they are on my mind 24/7 i’m paranoid that i’m going to become a murderer and revently i’ve been afriad that it’s not ocd and it’s just who i am and what i have become and i’m a physco i live with a constant guilt tjay i am looking at people the wrong way and my mind is convincing me i’m evil but i would never hurt anyone but even typing this my mind is telling me i’m lying i have such a headache, i have had anxiety issues before

Me and my boyfriend spend a lot of time together. Especially since we were long distance on and off for a long while, we spend as much time together as we can when he's not working. This is also due to my social OCD, which has made it very very difficult to be able to spend time without him among friends or in public. We've now been together for over 2 1/2 years and I'm so so grateful for all the help he's provided me with mentally and emotionally in these last 3 months we've been living together. It hasn't been easy, but he's been so patient with me. He continues to be patient with me every day, but he's not a machine either. Sometimes I hate myself for the ways that my OCD, ADHD, PTSD trauma and cannabis dependency can jump out in ways that not only hurt him, but our relationship too. Sometimes I'll say things or feel things that feel like they authentically come from me as a person, only to realize it was some OCD thought spiral or obsession or checking compulsion... IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!!! I can come off as crass, unconcerned, narrow minded, pushy and rude. None of these things represent me, I know they don't. I feel like I constantly have to explain that to myself and him to not feel like a shitty ass person. My obsessions can be so persistent that they ignore him trying to communicate to me that I'm not in the right headspace and that I should take a breather. It feels like there's so much standing in the way of me being able to meet both of our needs sometimes, especially because I don't exactly feel like I can trust myself. I need a break from how hard this disorder can be, he needs a break, we're both tired of it. I'm blessed that each other's presence is already such a big gift to one another, and none of this negates the fact that we are still falling in love with each other over and over again. I'm beyond blessed to have someone like him through the good times and the hard times, the hard times can just be so hard on the both of us and I wish it would stop. Any advice would be appreciated <3

Hi fellow OCDers. I've struggled with OCD for the last 7 years and have cycled through therapists who for years did not diagnose me with OCD (eventually I found someone who did). I've been on several different medications and I've tried different therapy techniques (I'm familiar with CBT, ERP, and ACT). I'm lucky enough to have found a therapist who understands OCD and does not provide any reassurance. And I found the right medication that helped me stabilize which I am no longer on. I think one of my key turning points has been becoming more aware of my OCD thoughts through reading and therapy -- as well as doing exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a weird concept to me. The trouble is that OCD can be deceptive. I found that I'd be too calm and I'd write a script for ERP that wouldn't elicit any anxiety. Or I'd skip ERP because subconsciously I didn't want to heighten my anxiety. But I've found that its impact has begun to be life-changing. By writing down my fears and reading a script or recording and replaying my fears to myself, eventually, the anxiety diminishes. The anxiety starts to subside and I realize the absurdity of my OCD. I'm reading the OCD Workbook, by Bruce Hyman which has been a great resource, but I find that taking the time to think through what exercises to do and setting aside time every day is an obstacle. I'd like to know what people have tried, what they have found helpful, and how they have stayed organized. What I'm curious to know: What has your treatment journey been like? What methods have you tried, and what do you find effective? How do you track your progress if at all? Do you also find doing ERP difficult? Why? Where do you organize your ERP exercises? In a Google Doc like me? An app? Or on paper? How often do you do ERP? How often would you like to do it? How much time do you spend on doing ERP?

Just curious if anyone has any input on OCD and cannabis. I have tried it here and there and I feel like that it helps my OCD in some ways and sometimes not. It depends on the situation and stuff and how much you take and the certain strain of cannabis also the way you take it. I’m just curious on anyone’s experience or thoughts on this.

I’m not sure how to stop picking at my skin. It makes me sad to always see scabs all over my face, it ruins all my pictures. Any tips?

My journey with contamination ocd started when I was 16, I wouldn’t leave the house in fear of getting sick, I wouldn’t go near my mother, I wouldn’t even pet my cat in fear of getting sick. I sabotaged all of my friendships, stopped going to school, I even avoided eating because of my health anxiety. It took over my life, it turned it ups down and ruined everything in my life that I had any control over. But that’s the secret on how to cure your ocd. Let it talk. Let your ocd talk and accept it as apart of you. You are not disgusting for thinking these things, you are not evil. It can not hurt you, it is not true what it says to you or about you, your ocd is not you, it is an annoying coworker that nags you and punishes you. Let it talk. And just accept it instead of demonizing it. When you accept your ocd you will see it for what it really is, it’s not a demon, it’s not evil or cruel. It is hurt and wants to be listened to, and when you start listening to it that’s when your ocd stops attacking you and tells you what it really needs. It needs you to accept yourself for who you are. Let it be. Let yourself be. You are the universe in a body, you are kindness and beauty. OCD is all of that too. All you have to do is accept yourself and stop fighting yourself for being scared. Acceptance disempowers fear. You. Are. Capable. Now I am 18 years old. I got myself back into school, I have a boyfriend who treats me very well, and I got help for my ED. I did the work. I listened to my ocd. I loved her, I listened to her, and I accepted her, and I realized she is just scared. She just wanted to go home. One more time :) Just keep going one more time no matter how many one more times it takes just keep going. One more second One more minute One more day One more month One more year One more lifetime Keep going. One more time ; It only gets better from here :)

Yesterday me and my bf were gaming and he had a glitch in the game and raged at it because he died because of the glitch which was out of his control and I ended up being startled and left the call on impulse. My ocd always expects an answer in my favour and when an answer is not what my Ocd expects it goes WILD. My ocd expected “I’m so sorry I made you startled my love it will never happen again ” after I told him why I left the call, but he gave me a completely different answer to the positive reassuring answer it wanted. He said we both overreacted and it’s not a big deal he was just letting out some anger because he couldn’t fix a glitch that caused him to lose the game we were playing while mine was working normally. He wasn’t mad at anyone, just the game because he died from a reason he couldn’t control. He couldn’t understand why I reacted the way I did so he couldn’t exactly feel sad about it, just confused. I think my ocd has reacted so badly to this situation because I am used to asking more questions after the initial response my ocd didn’t like, so I can get a positive answer to balance it out and be reassured, but it reacted badly because my bf stood his ground and said he needs to stop reassuring me/babying me in some situations because it’s just catering towards my OCD and I need a positive answer constantly and I somewhat agree because I see how my ocd trying to twist it to be positive is reassurance seeking. It can’t cope with an answer it doesn’t want to hear. If there is an answer that my ocd hates, it paints my boyfriend out to be a bad person like in this situation, a “narcissist with no empathy” ,when actually he admits/realises when he is wrong, he was just standing his ground with an answer and not catering to my ocd being like “awwww it’s okay I’m sorry” and he decided to be honest this time that he was extremely confused with how I reacted in that situation so he couldn’t feel anything. He said he would have possibly reacted differently if I hadn’t of left the call which confused him/stressed him a little and I could of have just said “I need a few minutes” and muted to calm down. He also might of reacted differently if he heard how I was on call if I didn’t leave. I have realised maybe it’s me being sort of toxic with the way I think and I need to get out of this thing where I hear an answer I don’t like and then ask questions until it changes to be reassured. Is it better to learn to sit with the uncomfortableness/ uncertainty of having a negative answer and not getting out of it by trying to “cancel it out” with a positive answer? Do I need to fight my OCD back when it’s being like “oh my god he’s so horrible we didn’t get the answer we wanted to hear! Let’s ask questions until it changes to something we want to hear!” Does anyone else have where their ocd goes wild because you expect a certain answer always and you don’t get it and it’s distressing and you feel like you need to find a positive to make it stop?

Recently an important relationship in my life has gone south. All day and all night it's all I think about, and I just keep trying to solve their personality flaws or my personality flaws. I'm also fearing for our next interaction, creating situations where I have to stick up for myself. I feel like I'm just stuck in this loop. What I want to accomplish is for these racing thoughts to just stop. This person can't completely be out of my life. So how do I comfortably coexist and live with the betrayal. The best advice I've heard is I need to learn to self-love and accept my feelings but I guess I don't understand how to do that.