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I was so confident that I was straight 3 weeks ago and now all of a sudden it feels like I have become a lesbian! That doesn’t make any sense 😭

Does anybody else get really tired, like I mean to the point we're you sometimes just don't care. I feel like that right now and it's scaring me. I don't have motivation to pray or do anything. I'm worried that all along it was me and it finally came out and now I'm done for. I still get anxious when I feel the thoughts coming but I just don't have motivation to fight them. Or to pray afterwards. Idk if any of y'all have this happen but I would love to know.

does anyone have any good tips for falling asleep and staying asleep that actually work. Not just staying off phone and that kind of thing before bed, i’ve tried that and it’s not helping. my sleep has already been bad but i think it was starting a new medication that has made it unbearable. i’ve never been this sleep deprived in my life and i’m not meant to take melatonin with the medication until i talk to a dr so does anyone have any non-medication/non-supplement tips?

I feel like for a while I haven’t really felt truly happy or very excited for anything. Every day feels like an uphill climb dealing with this OCD problem of mine and trying as hard as I can to solve it, seek advice, etc… It often feels hopeless for me and that I should just be discarded, like I’m too far gone and I can’t get rid of it. Anyway, the pint is I haven’t really felt happy enough to actually just be smiling in a long time. I can’t rember the last time I actually smiled because I didn’t think about it and just naturally smiled because I was happy. Feels like I’m at war with my head everyday. I feel numb. I feel like I can’t feel emotions strongly like I used to. I can’t feel strongly about something where I’m motivated to ACT on something, to DO something, to try something new or break a routine or even feel like I am taking a risk or having fun. It’s like I have forgotten what FUN is like. Actual fun, not trying to have fun, but having fun. As a side note, maybe it’s too far fetched or not true but the medication I am on for my OCD (Sertraline, 25 mg dosage) , I am suspicious is making me numb like this. Sometimes I feel one if maybe this, small yet somewhat effective dosage of this medication is making me like this. I remember when I went off of it for a brief period last summer I could feel a lot more than I am feeling right now. But unfortunately my OCD was sooo bad as a result. So bad I couldn’t face it and I would be pretty much having a straight panic attack all day. So I’m not sure if coming off of that is the right move. After all I went back on it because wow I was having trouble dealing with myself. But like I said, that is just an afterthought. This is often how I trudge through the day…

my whole life ive been like. mildly concerned about becoming pregnant. but in the past several months since meeting my current boyfriend it has gotten so. bad. realistically i understand that the chances are unlikely if not impossible, yet the thought of being pregnant DESTROYS ME time and time again. i get sent into such awful spirals about it. i get stuck in bed, i waste so much money atp on tests and levonorgestrel for literally no reason, i plan ways to abort any potential pregnancy myseld in case i cant access a medical abortion, up to and including hurting or killing myself, my eating disorder pays a nice visit and i convince myself that i cant eat or ill feed a fetus, i spend hours googling the smallest symptoms or "researching" the topic (ignoring anything that refutes my idea of being pregnant of course), im in an out of the bathroom checking to see if my period started, excessive exercise to get it to start. i cant do ANY tasks without these thoughts and compulsions. i always thought i could handle how i am but more and more im realizing its so hard. i talk to my boyfriend about it but he doesnt fully understand or know what to do. i opened up to 2 friends about it and one of them found it too tmi and got upset and now wont speak to me which makes me even more afraid to seek help. i thought she would get it but i feel so awful and stupid now. im not sure why im writing all of this. i guess i just need someone to understand. to reassure? but i know you arent really supposed to do that with people with ocd. so im not sure what i need. just to talk and feel heard i guess. i wish there were a way out of this.

I know I’ve done something terrible but I can’t remember the details and I worry it could be even worse. I spend every waking moment trying to remember because then at least I’ll know what I have done exactly. I can’t even remember when it happened like what is wrong with me. I don’t have a job anymore and my family is worried for me although I hate it when they are because I hate myself I don’t want their love and kindness anymore it feels wrong to have that. The only thing keeping me going is my siblings but if they knew they would leave me too so I just want to distance myself completely. I’ve already swore to never love anyone or allow someone to love me because it would be wrong. If those are the consequences for my actions then I accept them but I just want to know what I’ve done exactly I beg everyday for my brain to remember and I cry everyday too and hate myself for it because this is all my doing so why am i crying?

I am 23 now but when I was 22 I was in therapy for over 6 months to help with agoraphobia issues before I was referred to a psychiatrist to try medication. This was the first time I have ever been told that I might have OCD. I was then referred to a specialist for OCD specifically and they also believed I was showing signs of OCD. The therapy I was in was not working for me and that’s when I was told people with OCD don’t benefit from the type I had been doing. I was put on Pristiq and have seen a dramatic (good) change in my thoughts. I will say I just have thoughts that I don’t have it and that they misdiagnosed me. As if now that I’m aware of the condition I make up thoughts in my head to go along with it. It’s just frustrating.

Please someone help me... I need advice... and Im spiraling and im triggered... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... three people told me she sounded like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

I cannot tell if this is ocd or if I've realized that this relationship isn't right for me and won't last or I don't want to be in it anymore. I feel so confused or just sad and anxious. What if I'm not in love anymore

Hi! Does anyone have suggestions on ROCD exposures? Thanks!

i can’t take care of myself anymore. i’m sleeping with no bedsheets, no pillow and no blankets. it’s so hard to do anything. i can’t shower, i can barely eat, i can’t brush my teeth. i want to self harm so bad right now, i just want to end it all honestly. i feel like i was doomed from the start. my own mother says i should just kill myself. i don’t know what to do at this point. i can’t accept help because i can’t have anyone near me. i feel hopeless. i know this is temporary but, i don’t know. i feel like a child who needs to be guided, i just want someone to hold my hand and help me, but my mother hears my cries for help and ignores me. i’m an adult, there’s no one here to save me, no one to guide me. all i have is myself but, im no good.

OCD makes me feel like i am the scum of the earth and i believe it is true. i’ve done horrible things in the past when i was younger that i am not proud of. i know people say that we have to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes/know that our mistakes don’t define us or what not, but i feel like what i’ve done is irredeemable. although i was young back then, it dosent make it an excuse bc i am old enough to know it was wrong. why would i do that?? i’ve tried to forgive myself, but i keep going back in a loop bc of my OCD. what if i am using my OCD as an excuse? i don’t know what to do, please help.

anyone else feel like theyve made too many mistakes in their short time being alive, to the point you just feel like *you* are the mistake? i sit and obsess all the time about the mistakes ive made growing up (im only 20, suffered with ocd since i was 15). i just feel like i used to always make these mistakes and i know most of them came from ignorance as a child but it makes me question everything about myself. it often makes me feel suicidal, that the world is better off without me. i come on here to try and make people feel better and offer support and advice when in reality, i have no grasp on my own ocd. i sit and obsess 24/7, i struggle with mindfulness, and my head is the worst place to live. its just the idea that my mistakes have impacted people, any lies i came up with, how thats impacted people (its probably not even a lot but the possibility is terrifying). ever since i was diagnosed, i have a thing for responsibility, i take on so much of it, and punish myself excessively. im very tired of fighting with myself. im tired of obsessing and doing compulsions to stop the anxiety. i just want it to stop.

Please someone help me... I need advice... and Im spiraling and im triggered... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... three people told me she sounded like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

My mom just told me she doesn’t really believe that I have ocd because I don’t have enough “repetitive actions” and I just have bad anxiety. I feel so beaten down that someone so close to me doesn’t believe my struggles :(

Can anyone tell me usually why or when ocd first occurs? Is it trauma from childhood? Or do people randomly wake up one day and have developed it?…. I can’t remember the first time I started/developed it, but I must’ve been like in 5th grade… I come from a Hispanic household where unfortunately a lot of these households don’t “believe” in therapy or a counselor or mental illness’. I knew something was wrong with myself but I never knew how to express it. I just thought I was actually a crazy person & wasnt “normal” as others. Until this year I started seeing a therapist & he really made me feel like I was not alone. Due to insurance purposes I had to stop seeing him. I don’t think I’ve gotten better I’ve just gotten heard…but the only positive thing about it is that I can hide it very well now, a lot of ppl wouldn’t know vs in the past I had people catch me doing “weird” things. (Very repetitive stuff, fixing things, the list goes on & on). I had to learn to manage & “hide” what I was doing because my kiddos were catching on & would ask me what or why I was doing it, for example “repetitive stuff” lol . I really want it to go away, although I have managed my ticks & triggers, it’s still always in my mind, it stops me from having fun family time, stops me from doing my work at work or doing things or even speaking in a “normal” speed way. For example telling a story or when talking, I have the need to say every single detail, I get side tracked a lot & have to explain those details then it just goes & goes I take forever to say what ima say , it takes me a long time to get to the point like this whole post here it started with a question & now idk what my point was no more 😂 ps. I love making jokes about it to myself to keep myself positive, my close family knows and they’re supportive, it’s all love. I just wish it can actually go away I am concerned it will always be with me…

Does anyone else get really bad thoughts that attack the holy Spirit. I hope I am not the only one. These thoughts scare me because they come in all different ways they disappeared for about 4 days, and one day they came back and they are worse now than they have ever been. They keep attacking him, ever chance they get. I can't pray, go for a walk, or watch tv, or even talk to people without negativity towards him. Like my thoughts keep blaming him for everything, I can't get rid of these thoughts. What makes me sad the most is when I'm tired I can't fight them and my biggest concern is that it's coming from me. I'm worried about what the thoughts say about me. Do I mean to have these thoughts. I can't seem to be happy. I feel lost and scared that I have done something wrong to make God mad at me. My parents won't let me get therapy, I'm all alone. I'm nervous and anxious about my thoughts. And I pray but I can't find peace. I hope everyone who is going through this never has to go through this the way I am.

I put so much pressure on myself to be positive and happy. I hold myself to higher standards then I do others because I wanna be perfect, then break down at my every mistake. I'm horrible at setting boundaries but in a way I've dug myself a grave. At this point it feels like people assume I'm happy all the time and don't bother to ask if I'm okay. Or if I seem quiet they leave me be. At first I liked this now I do not. Any time I try to set a boundary with ANYONE, I'll be like hey when ya talk about that it makes me anxious or could you no do this it hurts my feelings or just plain please stop, people say okay and their sorry but it never seems to stick. The most I've done is say it again but it's frustrating. Feels like people just walk all over me and or barely listen Slash hear a word I say. I'm tired of some things I have made very clear not to do when I'm really anxious. They try to help and they will do certain things that make it worse, and I express this then they do it again. I find people belittle what I got through saying the thoughts I experience are clearly OCD, and easy to differentiate from typical worries or average thoughts. But they don't realize how stuck I feel bo matter how much I tell them. My brain doesn't have an off switch, I can't turn it off just like that and feel at easy. And even if the thought seems stupid and illogical, to them or even me it still hurts and bothers me deeply. There have been times where I do compulsions and people get mad and say it's excuses and I gotta stop and I try to explain and or try not to do it and end up feeling guilty. I want people to listen and actually care. I don't like the feeling I get when I'm worried. A weird tingle in my chest that grows and stretches throughout my body depending on how bad of a worry. Those "silly, stupid, ridiculous, crazy, nonsense" worries I get, wheather or not I know those claims are true, cut deep and it feels like I can't escape. My chest feeling gets stronger, I get alot of energy in my arms and legs and or they feel shakey, it feels like I can't breathe, I wanna burst out crying but depending on where I am that may not be an option, I'm tired of staying quiet due to the fear of upsetting someone without intention, and I hate hyperventilating or tossing and turning when trying to sleep and these thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks over and over. OCD is not my fault I know that. But part of me wonders why me of all people have to have it, although I don't wish it on anyone. If it meant nobody else would ever have to experience my OCD or OCD in general I would take all the power of everyone's OCD and take it myself. I like to think OCD gave me empathy, the one perk it came with in my eyes. One day I hope to be a therapist who can help people. And the little kids with OCD who wanna understand and get help, like I once was. I wanna be taken seriously, I don't wanna be a doormat, I don't wanna be a puppet on my OCD's strings, I want people to understand more then they do or atleast listen to me more then they do. I wanna be calm for more then minutes, and without intense stress when I realize how long I've been relaxed and how odd that is. I feel bad for my younger self. Ik she wanted to grow up and be okay. But I'm not. I have made progress. When I was little I constantly thought I was dying. And then I said in middle school that I'd be dead by highschool. But I'm about to start grade 12

Hey guys have you ever said something you regret so much that it traumatizes you for the fact of even saying that, wondering what was going on in your mind?

I’ve really been struggling the past couple days or even weeks. It’s hard to control my ocd because it’s causing sick strong anxiety. I’ve struggled with anxiety for what feels like only a few years but it has definitely been longer than that. It got really bad during Covid because I had to much time alone with my thoughts. Since then I’ve learned to control my anxiety and talk myself down. But for some reason I’m having a flare up. Im probably going to sound so crazy. My sister does my nails for me bc they’re acrylic and idk how to do them. When she does them they aren’t perfect but they’re free. Don’t get me wrong they look good but the paint isn’t PERFECT. So I feel ugly and I get anxious because it’s not perfect. I’ve also developed an eating disorder. Thinking about food starts to make me anxious. I’ve been working out for years but since I got surgery on my eyes in the beginning of July I haven’t been as active. It’s nice waking up in the morning knowing I don’t have to go workout and get all sweaty and shower. I can just wake up and brush my hair. I straighten it so I can just leave it go for 1 or 2 days. But my fiancé was telling me he doesn’t want me to get fat. Now I’m skinny but I got a little stomach. It’s not FLAT like all the models you see on instagram. I wish it was but I’ve been working out for so long and my stomach doesn’t change much. It starts to look toned after a while. My arms looked really good at one point but I’m not sure what happened. So I get anxious bc I want people to think I’m not fat. Idk why other people’s opinions matter to me. I think I’m afraid that if I stop caring then I really will get fat. I would love to talk with a specialist but I know I’ll just break down in tears when I start talking. I tell my fiancé every so often when I get anxious and he isn’t tells me it’s okay. Actually the response I got from him today was “hm” so I feel like I need to reach out for more help or just some advice. I’m CONSTANTLY cleaning my room because I’m afraid the dirt will ruin my furniture or my stuff. I literally lint roll my sheets in the morning to make sure there’s no dirt….. I know it sounds ridiculous. I make my bed a certain way so it looks really nice and fresh and I’m constantly spending money on new bedding because I like my things to feel new. I get anxious when my shoes get dirty or scuffed up. I get anxious when there’s dirt on my bedroom floor. I’m not sure what to do to concur the fear of dirt. Do I seek help from a therapist on here or will I be laughed at?