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how are people dealing with confessional ocd in relationships? hope everyone’s okay and slaying as much as they can ♥️

Hello everyone. So, basically every time I feel any kind of peace/pleasure (simple ones, like hmm today I’m enjoying a song, I felt good with my sleep, etc) my ocd tries to convince me something is wrong and then I get anxious because I was feeling good. It’s so messed up. Anyone been through this?

Im a father who loves my family and child and wouldnt do anything to hurt them. I had to change the diaper and I saw an area that needed to be wiped on the leg but got anxious. I slightly moved my hand to wipe my hand was out away from my body and my child. I had the thought to grab the towel and wipe to be clean. But i got anxious so my hand moved and then i pulled my hand away. I didnt go toward the towel my hand moved near my child but was far away. Ocd says i was going to do something bad but i know thats not who I am. And i know my therapist said my mind can involuntarily send signals due to anxiety to make me move my hand as a false alarm and then i pull my hand away obviously because i have no intention of doing anything bad. Ocd just still makes me feel guilty and like i was going to do something. But i know thats not who I am.

I’ve completed 11 sessions so far and I can honestly see progress. I’m not back to my “normal” self but I’m gaining parts of my life and my personality back. I never knew I had OCD. I always attributed things to anxiety. Being diagnosed let me know I’m not alone, I’m not crazy, and that there’s help for me. I have a long list of OCD subtypes. As you can imagine, the thoughts and images in my head were extremely distressing and I was concerned for my quality of life and my sanity. 11 sessions in and I’m able to watch shows and movies without being scared I’ll see a trigger, I can practice exposures and navigate through my obsessions better, and I’m finding joy in the little moments in life. I used to avoid so many things and people because I was scared I’d have intrusive thoughts. I still struggle with intrusive thoughts every single day. Some days and even weeks are bad and I struggle more than usual. I have mood swings, extreme irritability, and even sometimes experiencing depersonalization. Sometimes I just plain out feel uncomfortable and weird. But like my therapist said, progress is not linear. I’m learning to count my wins instead of always counting my losses. I’m learning to enjoy the little bits of life that are ok, and I feel proud when I get through hard moments. I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to see how much I progress. Sometimes I’m still scared but I know that’s my OCD trying to get me to quit because we both know this ERP therapy is helping. If you’re struggling, please seek help. It does get better. I wanted to quit after doing my first exposure. I’m so happy I didn’t. And on hard days when I want to give up, I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing to help myself.

What to do when your brain keeps bringing a past real event and saying something else happened (that is horrible) but you know you didn’t actually do something wrong, how do you make it leave you alone?? I just don’t want my brain to keep bringing this up over and over, like it’s so distressing I know you say “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t” but what if it GENUINELY doesn’t leave you alone? Do you do something or?

Hey guys, I had a thought or something I was doing that had a negative impact on me. Now I have anxiety because I cannot remember what the heck it was! I was doing so good until now. Now I have anxiety and am scared!

I pray not to see sixes. Today at the grocery store as she was totalling up my groceries, I asked God to not have it be 6's specifically 3 of them in a row. But really don't want to see any. The bill was 10.66. So I decided to do erp with 6's but all kinds of bad thoughts and other things came up on the search along with 3 6's. I'm so scared. What if I'm cursed with badness from all of these 6's coming up?

I experience suicidal and existential ocd, and I KNOW that one day, those intrusive thoughts will not pop up that much. (These are the thoughts that cause me a bad feeling, and then my ocd tells me I cant handle this feeling and I will end my life) (so, its a constant loop) But then, even if I think of life without those intrusive thoughts/feelings (for example, my future self, free from OCD), I get thoughts saying that life is scary or not a safe place, and that I will of course end up by comitting suicide… Like I cant handle life, even if everything is good in my life. (Example: I imagine myself very happy in the future, but still, life would be too much and I would have to end it). Does it make sense? Im so scared of those thoughts and feelings 😢It makes no sense at all!

I had a full blown panic attack the other night because I was in bed and woke up and was thinking I needed to get up because I was so anxious and I was thinking that what if something happened to me or what if I accidentally did something. Just to remind you I am in nursing school and working 2 days a week and am stressed and overwhelmed - any tips will be appreciated or encouragement

How do you accept that you have a disgusting side of yourself? Whether it's with addiction, which is my case, a bad habit, or something that changes you into someone you don't want to be in some ways. How do you live with that? It bothers me in increments everyday and I try my best to shake it off but can't. This thing made me do a lot of shameful, awful things that I do regret. How do I just live with it and just be compassionate anyway?

On the 4th of July I got very drunk and at one point lost my friends in a crowd. I went back to my friend’s house and while waiting for them all to come back, I started talking to her neighbors and lighting off fireworks with them. I remember all of this event and remember when my boyfriend came back I introduced him to them. If I had done something wrong or cheated on my boyfriend I would’ve known and definitely would’ve felt anxious or a feeling of guilt/shame. A week later I was worried I had either gotten with one of them or one of my boyfriend’s friends. I was able to move past this but recently got a sore throat and now I’ve convinced myself I have an oral STD and it’s because I got with someone on the 4th of July. I told my boyfriend this fear this morning which I know I should not have done and I feel so regretful for it. I am so confident I didn’t get with anyone as I would remember but for some reason I can’t push this idea that I did and I just am suppressing the memory. This false memory is so hard for me to move on from because if it is true, I can’t be with my boyfriend anymore. What do I even do?

I've been in a constant state of panic since last night. My brain...oh my brain I'm so sick of you. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me "I don't exist" "I'm already dead" The panic and hyper focusing has caused so much DPDR that I feel disconnected to where it truly feels like I ceased to exist. No matter what I tell myself, I can't calm down. Nothing is a distraction, not even video games. I don't feel real. It feels like my own voice in my head is numb. I can't concentrate, my memory is awful, and I'm just all around scared. I can't believe it's gotten to this point. I don't know what to do...I'm terrified.

There is a theme with ocd such as harm ocd and they have very violent images thoughts or internal narratives/ monologues that are intrusive. If someone is brave enough to open up about it on this app and asked for help, please don't report especially if they have attached a trigger warning. They are not harming others, they have intrusive thoughts about it. There's a difference. Even if your theme differs, you must understand that.

Can anyone share advice on how you differentiate between actual relationship issues and ocd issues? And also how to stay connected with your partner during a hard time? I get really frustrated with my partner (disclaimer: he’s a great guy and his heart is in the right place) but he’s not aching the way I want him to (I recognize how that sounds haha) one of the things is that he doesn’t show much expression or excitement when talking to me so it’s really hard for me to feel loved through that. I’ve expressed that time and time again (which could be a compulsion) and when he tries to improve it just feels disingenuous, furthering my frustration. It could just be that nothing feels good enough for me, or that I’m just fed up but then idk if I should make myself hang out with him as an exposure, or just be alone. I fear that I’m not going to get my point across efficiently, or that it’s just the way he is and it’s something I’ll have to put up with. When do I decide to take action and when do I sit back and deal with it as ocd?because for me it feels like there’s no way of knowing! i don’t want to sacrifice my needs but I try to resist a lot of what I’m thinking due to the possibility of it being a compulsion. On the other hand however, I could just be silencing myself and in turn being quiet and he is ok with that but I like a lot of communication as it makes me feel connected. This could be a real issue that persists, or it could be an ocd spiral…idk and I hate that because I just don’t know how to move based off that info so Im open to any advice!

Hey everyone. I could really use some advice. I finally hit what seems to be rock bottom today. This constant, horrible urge to hurt my puppy. It’s everything. And it feels like I really don’t care. I have no emotions. I can’t think straight. I’m holding myself back from actually doing something because I know deep down in my heart that’s not me. It’s a physically paralyzing feeling that feels like I want it. I don’t know what the difference is between this and someone who’s actually dangerous and losing it. Everytime I look at her it feels like I have a flashback in my head or something and I see a movie/get an urge to just do it. It feels like I have to even though I don’t want to. But at the same time it’s like I don’t care. I hate this. I valued my dog’s life so much. And I loved her so much. Now I feel nothing. I don’t understand. I’m going to give her to a family member later and probably check myself into a psych hospital. It may be the last time I ever see her but I don’t think there’s another option.

I feel like everyone "healed" from their SOOCD and yet 6 years later I'm still here. All the people who used to post on here have moved on (and good for them) but im still here. Even when im having sex with my bf I'm like "am I enjoying it because Im enjoying the act of sex itself + the fact that Im used to him by now but with women its way more exciting and its about the women itself?". Ugh I just feel so alone, no one relates to me romantically nor physically.

I get feelings that I don’t like or don’t understand and then the thoughts come. Response prevention gets tricky here. Sometimes the feelings are intrusive other times I’m just having feelings. Often, letting them be there and acknowledging them helps and is good but when I don’t know why they are there or uncomfortable I ruminate on them comes in and I spiral. Not trying to figure them out makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I don't know how to explain this but: I was diagnosed with HOCD about 2 years ago ( still have it but much lighter symptoms than the onset) I had a therapist here in NOCD for a couple of months, then I found out that they don't take my insurance ( miscommunication happened) and I ended up paying thousands of dollars and stopped therapy. Ok now moving on, These days I have been feeling like I am in a bad mood most of the time and that things have bad vibes to them. It's been like that since July and I have been having those symptoms which I don't know their meaning: 1- Feeling a bad mood most of the day for no obvious reason 2- thinking that some songs, roads, places have bad vibes to them that make me feel sad and want to stop listening to these songs or driving on these roads 3- checking my mood frequently to see if it's good or bad 4- having the ability to have good time and feel happy but worrying about the bad mood that I know will come up after whatever fun thing I am doing 5- calling my sister a lot to try to figure out what is happening with me 6- can't focus on school or anything due to the overthinking and the bad vibe/mood to everything I checked depression symptoms according to dsm-5 and according to their criteria, I have less symptoms that those required for diagnosis. I don't know what to do now. Is that another type of ocd? Is that depression? Is that a completely different mental disorder? Or is it just a random thought that my mind obsessed on due to having ocd already? ( maybe i felt sad for a while without knowing why (like any other normal person) and then i started freaking out on why this is happening, so my mind latched on this thought because of having ocd already and having the tendency to obsess over thoughts? ) do i need to follow ERP for this thought or do I need to treat it like a random thought and just do my best to ignore it? I don't know and I don't want to get to therapy again because even though it helps but the fact that I am seeing a doctor takes me into a whole mood that I don't want to feel again.

So recently I made a post about having the theme of fear of psychosis and schizophrenia which has led to the fear of not getting sleep and being scared I’ll go crazy and start hallucinating from the lack of sleep. Last night I was able to sleep some hours after not being able to properly sleep for 4 nights (like I actually dreamt) but of course when I woke up I got the the thought “what if you didn’t sleep and you think you did” “what if you’re just hallucinating it” it made me instantly sick to my stomach! Of course I know I slept but these thoughts just get crazier everyday making me feel like I’m actually crazy. I just want to cry. It’s a constant battle everyday and I’m just so tired. I’ve never had these thoughts before. If anyone has gone through this please tell me what helped you. I miss getting home and looking forward to sleeping not being scared I won’t. And I miss just living my life and not having thoughts questioning if it’s my reality or not. Please I could really use some advice.

I’m finding it so hard to do anything I suffer so badly from cheating OCD because my relationship is important to me and I never want to do anything to ruin it And I constantly think I kiss people all the time and it’s the most ridiculous thing ever but I can’t even walk near someone without thinking I do Like just now in work I was walking in the back door and saw a guy standing outside and automatically I got really anxious and my mind is making me think I did something So within an instant I think I do something and it’s getting so frustrating It’s ruining my ability to work well