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I'm stuck in a 'do you really like your boyf' mentality again and its making me so sad. I'm in love with him and its magical and I was on cloud 9 last week and intrusive thinking has taken over and making me doubt.

I’m getting really distressed and confused about this. It feels like I’m getting sexually attracted to child-like actions or vulnerable things. Sort of like cuteness aggression but sexually. Even though it’s bringing me anxiety and discomfort it just feels initially so much like actual sexual attraction. Does anyone have any ideas?

I feel like if I stop fighting pocd, it’ll make me turn into a disgusting person and it makes me feel like I don’t care but I do care, I feel so scared, I can’t even see the positives, it’s making me feel like I would enjoy being a bad person, and I would turn into it if I stopped fighting it

Hey everyone so I’m a college student and since my sisters birthday is this weekend I decided to go home for 3 days but I just realized right now that I forgot to pack my Zoloft and since yesterday I had a cold and was taking a bunch of cold medication I felt weird about taking my meds so I didn’t take my meds yesterday. I’m freaking out right now because I’ve never gone through withdrawals or anything but unless I cut my stay short that’s 3 days I’m going without medication.has anyone ever been in a similar situation or is there anything helpful I could do or even just some words to calm me down would be so helpful thank you 🙏🙏

How do I not allow my ocd to steal the joy out of all of my most joyful moments right now. I know I should pray more for God to help me see the good and peace these amazing situations bring, but I just can’t get this pit out of my stomach. I get angry easily and have a short temper, I hate it. My boyfriend has been so patient with me but although he says it’s okay and he understands it’s still something I don’t want him to be on the receiving end of… Please help. Any and all advice is appreciated, please be nice💕

Okay, i leave for vacation tomorrow with my boyfriend and some of our friends. i’m so nervous about this trip and im really worried that i would hurt someone on this trip. i don’t want to hurt anyone, and im so so worried about it. i don’t even want to go anymore because im so stressed out. i’m not really getting any intrusive thoughts or anything but im still so anxious that im going to do something like stab one of my friends or my boyfriend, or lose my mind. i’m so worried. and then i seen this thing that said “people who hurt people do that because they want to and they plan it out” so now im scared that im subconsciously planning on hurting one of them even though i dont have a plan or anything and i dont want to hurt anyone. AGGHH😭

I've had OCD since I was 18 years old. In the middle of 2020. A year later, when I was 19, there was someone that asked me for help with their POCD. They were also a minor. I don't know what made me want to help this person, since at the time I had POCD myself and I didn't want anything to do with children. I still don't want to be close to anyone underaged. I decided to help this person the best I could with their OCD and right off the bat I let them know I was uncomfortable with talking with a minor since I was over the age of 18. I did my best to solely focus on helping this person. Eventually, I didn't really feel like I was helping this person and it got to the point where I didn't want to speak to them anymore because of the age difference and I didn't want to continue this. In between helping them, I feel like I said things I shouldn't have, like bringing up my sexuality in response to something that was OCD related or may not have been, or the topics we talked about in relation to POCD. I just feel like I was better off not doing this. I feel like I can't move on from this at all. I never thought about this until a controversy triggered my memory and I started remembering all of this horror. I did not want anything to do with this person inappropriately and I set my boundaries with how this would go. I just don't know why I didn't leave at the beginning. I just wish I did. Maybe this was another instance where I just wanted to stop listening to the thoughts so closely, believe in who I really am and just try to educate someone on this challenging disorder. I do hope this somehow helped this person. I just can't stop thinking about this and the age difference and how much it messes me up. I just feel like my life is over when I think hard enough about this. I just feel like I can't get the life I want.

I constantly think that if I don't pray to God to protect everyone everyday that something bad will happen because I didn't ask to be protected. It's tiring and it sucks. ☹️

Lately, I've been listening to black metal and death metal, and I really enjoy it. However, a voice inside me says that through these songs, satanic or malevolent musicians are casting spells on the listeners. I feel like I shouldn't listen to these songs because if something bad happens to me or my loved ones because of these spells, I will be responsible. Sometimes, I feel guilty when I listen to these songs, and as I mentioned, I think that the people who create these songs are casting spells on the listeners through them.

This theme always hits me the worst. It causes the most anxiety and panic. And when i’m finally doing good again it all spirals back. my panic attacks are unreal again. sometimes i get so bad my Xanax won’t even stop the anxiety. These thoughts scare the living shit out of me and cause me to have terrible depression. Recently they have been back. What if this what if that, and sometimes they aren’t even what ifs, it’s more like a demand and they terrifies me. I’ve once again gave into my compulsions and put anything and everything that cause me anxiety into my kitchen so i can feel safe. This theme scares me because it makes me feel like i want to do it or i am going to do it when i don’t. These thoughts consume me. They even say “well do you wanna live like this what if it is the easier way out”. I don’t want to hurt myself and i’m truly a happy person i’m just not understanding these thoughts and why they cause me this much pain. I’m tired if the constant panic attacks and freaking out because of it. My mind goes “what if you have ideation and not OCD”when i clearly have been diagnosed with it. I just need tips and advice i don’t want to live like this forever i’m only 17.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share this because I thought some people may find it helpful. Compulsions are what many of us do/have done to try and banish feelings such as distress, anxiety, guilt etc… following obsessions such as unwanted intrusive thoughts. Compulsions tend to feel very urgent, am I right? You feel like you won’t be able to move on without doing it, or you might fear that something terrible will happen. So many of us fall for this trick that OCD always wants us to do. This is how it works: 1. An obsession pops up. 2. We feel anxious/scared/guilty etc etc.. 3. We feel like we need to do a compulsion to get rid of that unwanted feeling of discomfort. 4. Our anxiety and stress levels decline for a short amount of time. 5. Another obsession pops up… Then the cycle continuously repeats…. Being someone who has suffered from OCD for 10+ years, and only in the last 6 months being able to stop doing compulsions. I will let you in on a fact, COMPULSIONS DO NOT HELP YOU. Compulsions only adds to the strength of OCD. They do not prevent anything bad from happening! They do not benefit us! They do not make us feel better, they actually make you feel worse in the long term. They are declining the quality of your life! Honestly, I understand how hard it is to stop doing them. The feeling that you need to just do a compulsion “one more time”. I honestly get it, but when you genuinely think about it, what does a compulsion solve? Does flicking the light switch on and off 7 times really have any impact on a loved one being hurt? NO Does thinking a thought really make you a bad person? NO Does mentally/physically checking that thing over and over again help you gain clarity? NO (it actually makes you more confused). I just wanted to share this with you guys, because sometimes it can be really difficult to stop doing compulsions. At first, you might not be able to stop doing them completely and that is okay! You might just want to delay doing a compulsions. Instead of doing a compulsions as soon as possible, try and give it 5 minutes. Try and mess up the compulsions, do it in a different order at first. The main thing we have to do here is teach your brains that compulsions DO NOT keep you safe, they are stopping you from living the life you want to live. Compulsions are like impostors, they try to convince you they are genuinely there to help you, but in fact, all they do is make you feel worse. If anyone is struggling with compulsions whether they are mental or physical, just know you are not alone! You have the strength to choose not to do a compulsion, and you will see how empowering it is once you realise that nothing happens! We are not perfect! Do not feel like you have to be perfect! I still engage in compulsions here and there, especially when I have a bad day. But majority of the time? I am pretty much compulsion free😁 Always strive for progress over perfection!

Please help me. I feel like it’s one thing after another I just recently discovered that I may have OCD which have explained a lot of my excessive behaviors. When I used to be with people I used to obsess completely over them where my mood depended on everything they do, but I have found myself in a relationship where I’ve seen this behavior destroy my other ones and my mind is not obsessed the way it has before. This is good because for the first time I am in a healthy and loving relationship but I just had a OCD flare up, it went from fear of losing attraction, to fear of me cheating, to fear of me finding others attractive, to me having straight thoughts as a gay woman (and I’ve always been homosexual) and then switching to POCD. I’ve noticed that in my past I’ve always had to be obsessed with something, even in this relationship I was obsessed over my partners past relationships. How do I brake what feels like a never ending cycle of obsession so that I can live in the moment with my partner and have my mind only belong to her and my life but in a healthy manner. How do I stop spiraling and be the partner she deserves? My mind is my worst enemy and goes against all my values and the things important to me and her. How do I just live in the moment and stay loyal to her in thought? Please help me get a healthy mind for our sake.

Hi everyone, I am currently experiencing what I believe is an OCD flare up. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I primarily suffer from Harm OCD. I used to only experience it about once a year but since my second child was born, I am experiencing it a lot more and live with almost constant anxiety and maybe depression? So the new thing is that I'm afraid I am developing psychosis. I am scared to look at my oldest daughter (4yo) because it scares me when she spaces out and stares off into space, chooses the color red for anything, or has dark circles under her eyes (she has asthma and always has them). I guess the fear is that I will be one of the those psychotic moms (specifically like Laurie Daybell) and think my child is possessed and hurt her. It is literally hard for me to look at her and I feel terrified to be alone with her. On top of that, I have intense guilt because it seems to be more towards her than my youngest. Has anyone experienced something similar? What type of ERP was helpful? Looking for a therapist now but it is so hard to find one that understands. It's so hard to talk about. Thanks for reading.

Does anyone else Google everything? Like quite literally everything? Even if it’s not related to OCD obsession, I feel the need to understand everything.

On my last post a couple of people said I should do ERP because of the many clear signs of my OCD, but what type of ERP can or should I do for mental compulsions? Because I'm not sure what exactly triggers my thoughts and also how to not respond, and I feel like the "trigger" is anxiety and not actually by anything in particular, it was be helpful if someone could help with this, somebody who knows a lot about ERP too and how to stop doing mental compulsions and having anxiety of even thinking about them. Thank you if anyone can help 🩷

Hello All, I have just recently moved into an apartment with my partner and the first day we were staying there and all everything came back to me like a tidal wave. For clarification I have had ROCD issues before but for the last 6 or 7 months or so I was doing really well with 0 issues with my OCD or ROCD. I was the main person in the relationship pushing to get an apartment together and now that it has finally happened ROCD has hit me like a train. All I can keep thinking about are the what ifs. What if I don’t love my girlfriend, what if this doesn’t work out, what if this isn’t what I wanted to do, what if I don’t love my girlfriend enough, what if I made a mistake? Common themes but there are many more. I am trying to get my mind to understand that this is a HUGE life transition and that this will all settle eventually but it has debilitated me as I can barely do my job, I can’t eat, I feel physically ill all the time, I can’t stay asleep. I need some guidance what others have done in situations when moving in with someone for the first time!

So anxiety wise I had been doing so well. I wasn’t as bad as I had been in the past. My ocd stems from the fear of going crazy or developing schizophrenia. About 2 weeks ago I had something odd happen where I woke up and was getting ready for work and I had been seeing this zig zag thing in my eyes and then I couldn’t talk or type anything everything was jumbled. My boyfriend realized and I was able to tell him we need to go to the hospital. In the car on the way to the hospital I started feeling tingling in my right arm that spread to my fingertips. The whole time this has been happening I have a headache that I would score 2/10 nothing crazy. At the time I wasn’t sure if I had insurance or not but was under the impression I didn’t because I had just quit my part time job and was working PRN, I got stroke alerted at the hospital and they did a CTA and EKG and everything came back negative. The doctors told me they recommended an MRI to rule out a TIA but they didn’t think that it was one due to my age etc. due to the fact that I thought I didn’t have insurance I turned it down. The following day I was able to get my PCP to order me one and figured out my insurance situation and got the MRI done which also came back negative. My anxiety now is that what if I did have a TIA (mini stroke) and it’s just not showing on a scan because they self resolve so sometimes they don’t show up. What is worrying me is I’m not taking anything because they don’t think it was a TIA and they believe it was a complex migraine. I’m so anxious all the time hyper aware of every symptom I have. It’s been almost 2 weeks and I’m just so scared all the time.

I honestly don't know how to fix myself. All these terrible feelings and overwhelming thoughts constant is exhausting im so tired of it all I really just want it all to end any means nessecary. And yesterday I actually made that decision and then I overthinked it, not to not do it. But what I wanted people to know or feel. And I had to tell them before I go. So I tired with my girlfriend, I guess I was not subtle at all probably because I was honestly at the really emotional stage of my brain cycle at that point and so we both were breaking down and she was panicking and I felt bad I was doing that to her but I didn't wanna lie and reassure her but she wouldn't calm down and kept saying how much it'd hurt her and that she'd do it to. Eventually I realized I have to stay alive for her for now at least (till she dumps me) but deciding that doesn't make the thought stop. So if anyone knows how to do that I'd appreciate it. I can't keep dealing with this cycle of feelings of numbness then overwhelming emotions and derelization, and depersonalization, the thought of how I really want it all to end, is there constantly. But I made a promise and I'm trying to keep it.

Does anyone else feel like they have to video/have constant surveillance on what they're doing every second of every day so they can review it later if they need to? Ever since December, whenever I'm not in my room, I feel like I have to video everything to review later just so that I have proof for myself that I didn't do anything bad/touch something contaminated/miss a step in one of my routines. I almost never look at the videos again afterwards but I feel like I can't delete them so now I have thousands of videos on my phone of whenever I'm not in my room and I'm running out of space and concerned about what to do next :(

Hi All! I was stuck in an OCD loop for a while surrounding real events around children. I also struggle with incest OCD and my biggest trigger is my brother. I love him dearly but he is a big trigger bc he has always been a lot younger than me, he is 17 right now. The other night he wanted me to toss the remote to him and had his hands up in front of his face. Instead I tossed it in his lap. My intrusive thoughts and fears are telling me that I did this purposely so I could hit his crotch. Now I am worried I hurt him and he would be better off / not as traumatized if I was dead. I know this is extreme but the guilt truly gets to me. How do you all cope with uncertainty? Do I talk to him about it and ask if I hurt him or will it just make him feel more weird? What if I did do it to gain pleasure from it - how do I cope and move on from this?