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the NOCD Community

Does anyone also suffer from emetophobia? Am I alone in this? It feels like I am and like no one truly understands me.

How do you know the difference between OCD thoughts and Intellectual conflicts that anybody could go through? especially if you're someone who loves philosophy and morality delimmas? and also as a young adult who experience a quarter life crisis and/or identity crisis and struggle with changing and growing up, How do you know if what hitting you OCD or something of those?

i can’t stop obsessing over how i look and thinking about how ugly i look i feel like i’m going insane i keep looking at pictures of myself and i just feel so disgusting my lips are so small and without makeup i literally look like a man and i just compare myself to my friends and people i see online all day i literally cant take it anymore like i just feel so worthless all the time bc of my appearance i would literally do anything to feel beautiful

When my intrusive thoughts get bad and I try my hardest to push them out it feels like I’m physically straining my head, like it legitimately hurts really bad and I feel like I get dizzy and can’t think and I can’t stop focusing and then my ocd causes me to think that there’s something wrong with my brain and that I need surgery or to be lobotomized or something crazy like that, does this happen to anyone else?

Two weeks ago I was on a walk with my husband and daughter at night in a small town. I felt something flutter past the back of my knee and thought maybe it was a bug. Then I happened to look up in the sky and saw a bat flying around. My thoughts immediately jumped to rabies. We got to the car and I checked my leg, but it was too dark to see much. So I checked again once we got home and saw a small, red swollen bump. I ended up going down a Google rabbithole all about bats and rabies. I didn't sleep that night, but after that I was able to sit with the anxiety for the most part and it slowly eased over the next few days. Now it's 2 weeks later and I've been feeling under the weather for 3 days. Chills on/off, back is a bit sore, and anxiety is at an all time high. I don't want to go down fighting rabies of all things!

I have had soocd for 5 years and it impacts me all day everyday every minute. I’ve read that some people only have it 1-2 times a month or for like two seconds a day and it scares me that I don’t have ocd. Because mine is legit constant and so scary

i am a christian. i am constantly terrified of offending God and going to hell. i love God so much but this so scary. i feel like a really bad person. i have to pray in specific ways at specific times of the day in a specific order and sometimes it feels like a chore. i feel so bad about this. the reason i became a christian in the first place was mostly out of fear. i feel so bad admitting all of this but i really need help. i wanna continue being a christian i think but it’s all so scary and stressful. praying has become a compulsion, i feel like a terrible person with every sin, and it’s so exhausting. also, i’m a lesbian and i’m so scared God will send me to hell for that. i can’t change my identity. i’ve tried, but i just can’t like boys. i’m so scared and sad and terrified and stressed. i have no clue what to do.

Why is my brain telling me that I wouldn’t mind being a p, that I could live with it and be fine with it, and I am really a p because my situation is too unique…. I didn’t agree with it but I allowed myself to think about this, and it just made me feel like I did agree to it. I’m worried that I’m lying to myself, I really don’t want to turn to into this person, my WHOLE LIFE i was attracted to older people and never ever felt this way until now (false attraction) it makes me so convinced and it puts me in a dark space. It’s hard to think right now.

I have a crippling fear of anything relating to vomit. When I’m relaxing or just hanging out, or even trying to fall asleep at night, sudden vivid thoughts of people vomiting comes into my mind and they play over and over and it’s literally the most intrusive thought pattern that I have. I also am terribly afraid of people vomiting in public, I try to avoid sports events, bars, parties, riding the subway, amusement parts. I love these events but I cannot shake the fear that I will be vomited on (or near by). I do want to also note that I am not afraid of myself vomiting. I’m sorry if this sounds awful, I was just hoping to know if anyone else may experience something similar or have any suggestions how to cease this awful imagery??

Recently I’ve been having scary intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or others. I’m so scared, what do I do?? I wouldn’t hurt a fly.

So I’ll be watching callout videos and I’ll get these sorta intrusive thoughts and feelings as if I’m defending or sorta wishing the allegations weren’t real… why? I don’t know…. Is this an effect of ocd? I don’t actually agree with a single action these losers do and like this has to be a new intrusion cause before my reaction was pure hatred and frustration… Honestly I’m extremely uncomfortable with the way my brain views these callouts…. I don’t agree with my brain but it feels like my own thoughts….

Does anyone else struggle with the theme of being afraid of dying and death? I don’t really know if it’s my OCD or if something is legitimately wrong with me, but it’s starting to consume my thoughts. Sometimes it’s almost physically debilitating when it’s all I can think about. I guess I’m just reaching out so I don’t feel so alone in this.

+18 TRIGGER WARNING I’ve been trying not to post as much on here, but it’s been a rough time facing these thoughts on my own. I’ve been trying to force myself to move on and not take my thoughts so seriously but it’s hard not to sit with them. Basically, to try to cope, I’ve been watching expose videos on internet drama and those who have been “cancelled”. Sometimes, though, it can just get to be too overwhelming as I start comparing myself with the people in these videos and I just want to cry because I’m just so disgusted with myself. I’m starting to question what’s real or not, if I’ve hurt people in the past or not, and separating my thoughts from my actions. I don’t trust myself anymore. I can’t find happiness in anything. I just keep pushing my friends and family away because every little thing triggers me. Sleep is the only time that I can find peace. Because then, I know that I’m not hurting anyone—including myself.

Struggling today with my thoughts and maybe some dissociation. I can’t get any clear thoughts. I felt like lately I’ve started to recover and then the past few days have felt so hard. I feel scared for the future. I am scared I don’t have enough hope for living with ocd. I am scared that I’m not gonna be happy. I’m scared I’ll chose to end my life over this. I’m scared I’ll want to end my life. I feel weird. My thoughts are jumbled today. Something feels like it’s going to happen and that’s what is giving me anxiety.

So I started using tampons but I don’t know how to insert right yesterday I was wearing one and it felt super uncomfortable so I took it off like 2 hours later and today I did it again and but took it off by the like the 5 minutes or 10 max because I seen that if you wear it wrong you could get TSS and I took it off and now I’m worrying because I seen that you could get TSS from taking out dry tampons so from that I was so worried and stressing I always take Magnesuim glycinate at night 400mg and today thinking I was gonna take another one I don’t know why I took that one I took it again at 12 pm and last night I took it like at 10pm now I’m scared something is gonna happen to me or I’m gonna die or od of it which it’s possible and I’m feeling cramps from the Magnesuim but I’m also on my period which makes it 10x worst ugh I’m very stressed I don’t know what to even worry about because I know you could also get cramps for TSS and back pain and I’m getting it ugh guys idk what to do I’m so overwhelmed

I know this is my OCD and it can make me look like a fool. I’m have been married for 7 years to a sweet loving person who has never hurt me. My OCD is telling me he is going to leave me and I’m going to be alone. ( I have recently lost my a love one and had to step away from my family because of money inheritance ) I have recently decided that I have to shut down my business because of economy . I know my OCD is triggered by stress. Stress that I have been suppressing for the last year and I know my brain is just sticking and picking up everything. I hate waking up in the morning and feeling wave of anxiety and uncertainty that it makes it hard for the bed . This morning I had to work myself out of bed and go for a walk with my dog in the park, which helped a lot. I just keep beating myself up because I let myself get to this place. I saw all the signs and I ignored them all. I feel so foolish 🥺 I went through something like this before 2017 and I feel like I’m always going through some level or mental illness that my husband has to help me with and it is so disappointing with myself because why can’t I just have a normal brain. Why can I just have a mind simply works and I don’t have to keep manually shift it out of gears I’m scared my husband and people that I have close to me don’t you say that I’m too much just discard me. And I thought with myself to say that I’m not too much. I’m just going to human experience and that I’m a little bit more. I’m just extremely frustrated. I’m just sad that I’m back at this place again. I’m happy if not as severe as it was when I first had my OCD breakdown, but I’m still disappointed in myself. I should’ve took better care of my mental well-being. I should’ve focused more on that and focusing on other things that knew my mental.

Does anyone have experience of being in recovery from addiction and being around people that don't get it and they keep offering you drugs? It sets my anxiety off a lot and I start feeling overwhelmed. Just good coping strategies will do.

This past week has been very challenging; I have been seeing this guy now for a couple of months, and every now and then I will experience a loss of interest in him. Sometimes this is brought upon by the OCD itself, which makes me not want to be around him because he is the trigger. Other times, it’s hard to tell if I’m genuinely not interested, and this drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like I am leading him on and forcing myself to like him just because I want to be in a relationship. To make things clear, he is the sweetest guy and hasn’t done anything wrong; he knows that I struggle with R-OCD and has been very understanding, but isn’t aware of my periods of disinterest and doesn’t know just how distressed I get. This morning, he texted me and said he can’t wait to see me. While reading his text, I never got excited or felt butterflies, I just felt sick to my stomach because all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to tell him I’m not into him right now. I feel like at this point with the back and forth feelings, I just need to end things. The more I think about it, the more I start to believe and feel that’s the right answer. I get sad because I am starting to catch feelings and don’t want to put a stop to a potentially good relationship. I’m really trying to understand why my feelings for him are constantly up and down.

So I’m 15 and I first realized I had ocd when I was 13. It started with a bad dream I had that triggered intrusive thoughts. The theme of these thoughts were almost purely sexual. It started as Iocd, and that turned into compulsions of not letting family touch me at all and cleaning myself with alcohol and hydrogen peroxide to get rid of “family germs” because in my mind that meant I was a bad person if I so much as even touched an object that they touched, I just started getting over it recently and I’m feeling a lot better, but the other day another theme was triggered after I heard about this guy called “smartschoolboy” and he disgusts me so much. He’s disgusting. After I heard about him it started triggering intrusive thoughts. I was sobbing over the pocd thoughts the other day, and my brain won’t stop trying to convince me that I am one. No matter what. Today it was “why aren’t you crying about these intrusive thoughts like you were the other day, that must mean you think it’s okay to be one” and it just hurts so much to have these thoughts, I can’t live in peace and I was literally fine just a week or two ago, how do I get rid of this, I just want to be happy again (sorry not to sound dramatic I’m just really scared right now) I mean deep down I know I’m not one every time I hear about one I feel disgusted, I hate even thinking about the fact that those type of people exist, but whenever I tell myself that my brain gets to convince me otherwise. My thoughts have always (mostly) been sexually themed but these are the most disturbing ones I’ve had and I’m so scared right now, anything helps please 🙏🏻

I'm stuck in a 'do you really like your boyf' mentality again and its making me so sad. I'm in love with him and its magical and I was on cloud 9 last week and intrusive thinking has taken over and making me doubt.