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I have a fear now of lying even if it's a white lie and I can't differentiate the truth.

Just wanted to vent and also leave my experience here just in case someone is going through the same. My fear of having schizo or psychosis led me into having intrusive thoughts that I will start hearing voices and stuff like that so suddenly I became super sensitive to every little sound, checking if I heard something or not. When I hear little sounds that I can’t really recognize (like something outside) it gives me a mini panic attack for the first second bc I think “was this sound real? Am I hallucinating now?” Then I try to shake it off as I know I am not, it’s just my ocd really tricking me and I get this bad anxiety with the uncertainty 😭 I also repeat sounds in my head maybe as I compulsion? I don’t really know. It gets better when I’m paying attention to something else and I forget about it but right before sleep is being such a pain, I get sleepy but I get scared of going to sleep and all the thoughts that pop up are distressing. I’m not doing ERP yet but if anyone here that has had the same experience can recommend a therapist from NOCD for me I’d appreciate it! I know it will help me with this theme. I still have harm OCD here and there but not nearly as distressing as this theme is for me and I know that’s why it sticks around. This sucks. I’m glad we have this app though and I am glad we can relate to each other here. OCD is isolating. I can’t really talk to anyone in my life about this because I am scared of how they would react. Stay strong everyone 🥹🥺❤️

Hi ! Recently I’ve been washing and sanitizing my hands so much to the point that my hands are completely red, cracked, fighting feeling sometimes, and it’s painful. I’m trying to work on not washing and sanitizing so much but it’s hard. Any advice is appreciated ! And if anyone has any suggestions as to products to use to help my hands heal I would really appreciate it !!

may be triggering to people with health anxiety or health related intrusive thoughts so i’ve been dealing with some pretty intense health anxiety & health related intrusive thoughts for around 2 or so months now. as i’ve been learning more about ocd, doing more (controlled) research & talking to some therapists, i’ve been learning how to handle it a lot better than before, which i’m extremely happy about. i used to basically panic all hours that i was awake because i was so obsessed with my body and the random sensations i felt, and while those thoughts are very much still there, it Is easier to handle. the only problem is, i still kinda struggle with getting my mind fully off of those thoughts. see, i can continue to do my daily activities or continue to talk to friends/family just fine now without panicking or shutting down while attempting to figure out the issue, but the thoughts are still There and i still find myself going back to them. its like i’m trying to put them in the back of my head, but instead they just go to like the middle of my head and its still…quite annoying. i know i can’t rush this, i mean its only been a month after all and i’m doing it alone (i can’t contact my therapist atm), but i just wish i could get myself to fully stop thinking about it. it feels like my main issue is that i still have that ‘what if it Is something bad’ feeling y’know? like if i feel a pain in my chest or something, after thinking about it for a second, i usually dismiss it as stress or acid reflux (i suffer from acid reflux & sometimes my meds don’t fully work). but a little while later, my mind will think ‘well what if it’s something to worry about this time? what if you’re suffering from something terrible and you don’t know it since you won’t look it up or ask about it?’ and those thoughts just keep coming and coming until it gets harder to push them away. i just wish i knew how exactly to get that What If question to not be a problem. i know i don’t have any chronic health issues that would cause me to worry about stuff like little tiny chest pains or dizziness, but my brain just can’t help but feel like What If I Do Have Something Wrong? idk its just frustrating. this was more of a rant than anything, but i guess if anybody has any pointers on how to better handle those intrusive thoughts & how to push them to the back of my head, i’d be happy to hear. TLDR: my health anxiety & health related intrusive thoughts have been getting easier to manage, but i’m still struggling with figuring out how to push them away fully and not panic about them.

Do you guys also feel during a triggering episode when you feel anxiety and distress, you also feel like the opposite feeling? like a sense of excitement but not really, it feels like you secretely like it, I find those sensations to be in the muscles of my face, I don't know how to really explain it, like a flustering feeling but not really. I feel like it's the opposite emotions constrasting your genuine ones, the ones you don't want to feel and because you don't want to feel those emotions OCD borrows an emotional reaction that belongs to anxiety like akwardness and fluster and twists it into something false? Or is anxiousness often accompanied by this weird odd sensation in the face? Like an intrusive twitching for a unwanted smile? I don't know.

I'm going to share some info I just read on Instagram and I think it's very helpful to understand the difference between intrusive thoughts and 'on purpose' thoughts Understanding Key Terms: What's ruminating? Ruminating is any passive or active mental engagement with your OCD question. This includes trying to answer the question, monitoring thoughts, scanning for triggers, avoiding them and suppressing thoughts. What's my OCD question? At the heart of every OCD theme is a feared question. It might be about relationships ("is this the one?") health ("What if I have cancer?") or identity ("What if I'm the type of person who would intentionally hurt others?"). These questions spark intensive anxiety because they suggest a potential negative reality about you and your future. To escape this discomfort and sense of lack of control, you ruminate, seeking a definitive answer. Why is Ruminating So Hard to Stop? Ruminating feels essential because it appears to be necessary for resolving your OCD question, making it incredibly hard to stop. However rumina is counterproductive because your OCD question is UNANSWERABLE. The more you try to resolve it, the more confusion and frustration you feel, creating a cycle of hopelessness and helplessness. This only intensifies the urge to ruminate. Why Ruminating is Within Your Control The Reality of Intrusive Thoughts: Most believe the thoughts are uncontrollable, but most "intrusive thoughts" are actually created by you in an attempt to answer your OCD question. Ruminating Fuels OCD by: -keeping your OCD question stuck in a mental loop. -fueling your anxiety,anger, shame, etc. Illustrating the Concept: Imagine a woman struggling with ROCD. A thought about her co-worker's attractiveness pops into her head, contradicting her all-or-nothing beliefs about love, such as "I should find my husband the most attractive" this triggers shame and fear. She starts questioning herself: "Does this mean I no longer love my husband?" "What if I cheat on him with my co-worker?" She then imagines cheating to assess her emotional reaction, trying to uncover a hidden desire. This woman feels trapped in a cycle of Intrusive thoughts, unaware that most of her thoughts are actually mental analysis she's generating to figure out if she no longer loves her husband and will cheat on him. Recognizing that the initial intrusive thought triggers a series of intentional mental rumination is crucial. These actions perpetuate her distress. The implications for YOUR HEALING: Realizing that most of your thoughts are self-generated in an effort to resolve your OCD question means you can choose to stop trying to figure it out. This knowledge can help you break the OCD/anxiety cycle.

How do yall handle intrusive thoughts !? I never realized that was a thing I think I’ve been dealing with this sense I was in elementary school I remember getting on the bus and had the the worry my mom was gonna get in an accident and it’s just gone from there

Hey, I’ve been doing some research on OCD and think I may have it. I’m not 100% sure, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I want to get myself diagnosed, but my parents won’t let me. They agree that it’s very likely that I have OCD, but they think that if I try hard enough, I can get over it. I don’t know what to do anymore or if what I have even is OCD, and I want to be somewhat sure before a I do anything. Right now, I’m a junior in high school, but freshman year was when my “OCD” was the most severe. I think I had (and still do) the symmetry/order subtype and “just right” subtype. I was obsessed with writing things neatly to a point in which I kept forcing myself to erase and rewrite things until all the letters were straight and all the graphs were neatly drawn (typing wasn’t safe either because I use Notability and felt the need to align every text box and make them all the same length). Handwriting was especially a problem in calculus A, and it got to a point in which I couldn’t keep up with the notes, and the homework was taking hours a night because I was obsessed with making my work perfect. Needless to say, I didn’t get a good grade in calculus A and didn’t build a good foundation for future math classes. This makes me really sad because I was previously really good at math and had a bright future in the subject. Eventually, I just stopped trying in calculus A, but by then, I felt burnt out, couldn’t concentrate on anything, kept putting things off, and lost the ability to properly manage my time. I think it may have escalated to executive dysfunction at that point, and it carried over to all my other classes. As someone who was previously pretty productive and good at planning, this was a huge hit on my self-esteem. I was also obsessed with symmetry. If I touched one side of my body, I had to touch the other side in the exact same place. If I was coding something, I would have to evenly distribute touch across each key on the keyboard. It felt like everything was a heatmap, and the colors had to be kept in balance at all times. I also avoided odd numbers because they were considered “asymmetrical”. I was obsessed with routine and had to complete tasks in a certain way, a certain order, and a certain amount of time. Even something as small as combing my hair for five minutes instead of six caused me extreme distress. Writing one word that “sounded off” on an English paper left me unable to keep writing until I fixed it. I had to keep the sound of my phone at a certain volume (6 normally, 10 when exercising, and 12 when cleaning, divide everything by 2 when using a computer) and had to walk a round number (any number that ends in 0) of steps a day. I kid you not when I say that some days I woke up and didn’t want to live anymore. Sophomore year, my mental health improved and I probably seemed overly perfectionistic but not to a point of concern. However, this year, the handwriting issue relapsed in all its glory during physics, and I’m not able to keep up with notes or homework. I feel the same way that I did in calculus A, and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I want to ask my teacher to let me do my homework on paper rather than the iPad (it’s easier for me to write on paper due to increased friction), but I’m scared to ask because I don’t have a formal diagnosis. I don’t know what causes my behavior. I feel like if I can’t do things perfectly, no one will like me. I’ll lose all my friends, and no boy will ever want to go out with me. I know it’s irrational. Literally no one cares what my notes look like or how long I spend on each step of my morning routine or whatever, but I constantly feel like people are judging me and will hate me the second I mess up. There are two more times in my life that I can think of when I displayed symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD when I was 9 and pure/religious/magical thinking/health concern OCD (they all just kind morphed together) when I was 11. I can go into more detail if you wish. As of now, I just want to know my behavior sounds like OCD, and if so, how to more forward. If not, I would love to know what I do have and how to treat it. Thank you so much.

My TOCD is really bad today, I can’t eat anything without throwing up. My panic is just so bad, please any advice?

What are some songs, movies, tv shows, books that make you feel safe? For me I have a playlist of songs that I add to over time. I only have three on there at the moment but they help me so much. (Something) by The Microphones Black Wave by The Shins Rosyln by Bon Iver and St. Vincent I’ll also imagine a storm outside, or imagine myself living in a lighthouse :p Hbu!?

Can thoughts actually become true? Worried ever since I read it on google. My OCD has gotten really bad since I’ve had 4 pregnancies in the last 3 years. I had a miscarriage stillborn healthy baby and now pregnant again. My mind has gone crazy.

If you're in pursuit of happiness, don't anchor it to a person or a specific event. Instead, connect it to a meaningful goal.

Anyone else will just be doing anything normal and I’m gay comes in? It’s so distressing and I try and say ok sure ocd but the anxiety over takes me and my mind won’t let me believe I’m straight when I am. I love men I’m Not attracted to women but when I ask myself the doubt is for sure there which sounds like Casebook ocd. I’m just sick of this I don’t want to have to laugh at things in my head that don’t make any sense it’s so hard and unfair

I have to pray for ocd and because I’m religious anyway but it takes like 10-20 minutes every night and is obviously the same thing every night but it didn’t bother me as much before and I just delt with it when I was doing it but because I’ve now being doing this part of the compulsions for I think half a year I know think if it and dread it all day and want to go upstairs at like 7 ti do this and all other things so I can get to sleep at a reasonable time but it’s so annoying, anyway I just think about it constantly and basically recite what I say in the day for no reason, is this an overreaction or is it normal thanks also me feeling like this I feel like God hates me for this but I want to pray and enjoy it but ocd just took over which is really irritating anyway thanks

I’m confused. I think I’ve gotten progressively more boy crazy and more of a hopeless romantic, but I’ve completely manipulated myself into thinking that boys just don’t like me and I think it’s a fact. In the past, I was confused and lost on what my sexuality was so I would be in a lot of “flirty” friendships thinking that I genuinely liked my female friends I had these friendships with but that was far from the truth. I can’t imagine myself being with a woman but for some reason it’s just easier for me to talk and flirt with them. I have trauma involving why I brainwashed myself into thinking that I’m a magnet that repels boys from me and I still think that and it’s ruining my brain. (I have a crush on this guy and texted him for the first time, he never replied!!!) which honestly proves my point even more. Am I right or is just all in my head? Some advice please!!

I’ve been sharing on here a lot. My therapist is out this week. But in the last few days, it feels…like I want to do the thoughts. Like I had the realization that I could just do them. And want to?!! Like…I don’t understand. I wanted my dog here and alive and now I guess…I don’t anymore? Like it feels like I’ve become everything it’s told me. The non stop thoughts and urges and images and feelings…have won. I’ll be fighting it, but like…get this sudden impulse feeling of like “why are you holding yourself back?” and like..I check to see if I still love her and want her and it feels like I don’t. Or like I do but I want to do the thoughts more. Or I’m with her and my feelings are like “just do it you could just do it.” I feel like I’m just holding myself back and it’s getting too tempting. I don’t understand. I’m going to give my pup away and just…I don’t even know. There’s no way out. I can never go back to normal with her.

This can be triggering for some people. A bit of my story. About four days ago I started having really bad anxiety along with intrusive thoughts about my friend. Let's call him A. Really graphic sexual images along with the words "You want to have sex with him" it sent me into a spiral of paralyzing anxiety and doing compulsions all day everyday. We had developed a close friendship but I did not and still do not see him as anything more than a friend or brother. I've always loved women had women this guy is even my wingman to set up dates with girls lol Right now my thoughts had fluctuates from having sex with him to being in love with him and I am very disturbed by this. I'm not in love with this guy. I like him as a friend as my brother. I've done everything I could to avoid him that if I didn't say the phrases right or if I didn't remind he was my friend something bad would happen. To try and combat the thoughts it just doesn't go away. And everytime I describe this situation (even now) I feel anxiety and not at all a good feeling. It's gross absolutely gross to even imagine my best friend in a sexual or romantic light I feel as if I'm losing control. That something horrible will happen. I also had a thought about him and other of our group being in an accident and dying I felt awful. I also have an appointment with a specialist next week. I just want someone to talk right now because I feel alone. Very alone I have this feeling on impending doom.

Don’t read if you easily get sick by gross topics!!! ——— ——- —— —- — - My stress with POCD, has been so bad, that my poop is literally liquid, and my stomach keeps rumbling when I’m stressed, I have not ate anything that was bad nor do I have a stomach bug problem right now

Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.

so I am not diagnosed, but recently for the past week I’ve been having something similar to contamination ocd, but it’s not the typical germ type. It’s the fear of doing something gross, and I keep getting intrusive thoughts where I see images or like actions play out in my head. It took so much to say this so please don’t take this the wrong way. Basically my fear is toothbrushes and doing gross sexual things with them. Actually I get these intrusive thoughts about so many objects, and I don’t know why. I feel like I can’t do anything alone in fear that I might act on these things. I have to throw things out everyday because I’m afraid I’ve done something like this. I always try to look back on past events to make sure I haven’t done anything like that, but I feel like that only makes things worse. Please seriously give any advice, and believe me when I say I DO NOT want to do anything like I just described. I’m losing my mind I just feel so gross. I think this was all triggered by something I read online, and ever since then I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.