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I had my heart broken so bad earlier tn by someone I love. Like so so bad I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m trying not to cry rn bc I’m about to watch some tv with my sister. How to people just not think about things? I just can’t stop no matter what. I’m hurting so bad and need a friend

hi, does anyone have any coping methods for self sabotage and ocd for example, i’m not ‘allowed’ to buy things like clothes because i don’t deserve it because i’m a bad person

hey guys does anyone have any advice on how to stop letting past relationships affect your current one? my current boyfriend is honestly everything i could want. he’s honest, sensitive, and has known me for a long time so he knows all about how i’ve been treated in the past, mostly with being used and abandoned. i have found myself expecting him to fail and getting upset with him over very small things that i let convince me he doesn’t actually care about me and that our relationship is gonna end badly like they have in the past. every time i freak out on him, in the moment i think im just standing up for myself and i get kinda sassy and mean. i always feel guilty afterwards and feel crazy for acting like that. he gets upset with me for “comparing” him to my exes, but i feel like i truly don’t mean to do that i just have a huge guard up as a result of their actions towards me. i still think about stuff that happened with my exes every single day and idk how to stop letting it consume me. i obsess over how horrible they made me feel and exactly what they did and said and what i could’ve done differently to prevent it or how to fix things with them even though i am happy with my current bf and i don’t truly want either of them anymore. i hate the feeling of being on bad terms with people and feeling all of the resentment 24/7, it has gotten so incredibly draining. it makes me start thinking that we aren’t right for each other or im not good enough for him and that i do secretly want them back, even though logically i know that’s not true. i don’t want him to think im still obsessed with them romantically in any way, but i just can’t seem to let the past go and am constantly ruminating about events from the past. it comes up in conversation with my friends a lot and it makes me feel crazy tbh. i don’t want them to be annoyed with me for talking about stuff that happened a long time ago at this point, especially since i am in a new relationship currently. i obsess over the idea of anyone thinking i still want them because i know that’s what it sounds like and that’s the conclusion most people jump to. i just can’t seem to move on, but not in a romantic way just like in a way that won’t let me move on from the hurt they caused me knowing that i never deserved it, and that there is nothing i can do about it now. i cry to him all the time about how i used to be a good gf, but as a result of how those people treated me in return it made me “crazy”. i can’t seem to find the line between defending myself and just being mean and angry and accusing him of things. idk how to talk about my concerns calmly anymore. it has been happening a lot recently and idk how to stop immediately jumping to the worst case scenario and getting extremely upset and giving the silent treatment. i’m afraid it’s gonna get to be too much for him and he won’t be able to take it anymore. i don’t want to let my past ruin my relationship now. he says he understands why i feel this way and just asks me to put my guard down for him but i can’t do it for some reason. he reassures me all the time that he isn’t like them but i can’t help but think about how i’ve been lied to in the past and it makes me not trust him, even though he has never given me a reason not to. he is so patient with me and tries to understand, but i don’t think he gets that it’s an ocd thing i can’t control and thinks that it’s something i’m choosing to do. i don’t want to bring it up because i don’t want to sound like im making excuses, even though that is truly the root of the problem. i just want to let everything go and be fully present and accept the love he gives me.

Hi there, To summarise my story, I begun taking Sertraline around 5 months ago as my OCD flipped a switch after an intense panic attack and got instantly worse and unlivable (intense depersonalization, constant rumination, anxiety and nausea, amongst many other symptoms). I have now worked my way up to 100mg (6 weeks in) an I feel horrific every single day, constantly fighting intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness that makes me nauseous, suicidal thoughts and ideation etc. Would anyone recommend that I wait another month (which will be admittedly extremely difficult if these feelings persist) or should I consider switching medication? All opinions welcome❤️

Everyone says to just “sit with anxiety “ and I feel like I can’t I have to be focused about what my intrusive thoughts says . I can’t let go I just can’t. It’s like I can’t get rid of it. It’s sucks cause I hate it but I feel like its not working for me. I don’t know how to not fight the thoughts. Even though im telling my mind it’s just a thought and all good. I can’t be all good I just CANT . It’s like I’m trying to put a show to my mind and trick him, but he knows it

TW: S3lf Harm, Family Trauma, depression, self hatred. Abandonment, arrested social and emotional development Background: was abandonment at 6 months due to cleft plate , grew up in orphanage, got adopted at age 4 Got diagnosed with anxiety major depression and adhd. For some simple context, I figured out that my boundaries are often my reasoning, while very emotional or by lash out. I have trouble with sensory and I also have trouble with scheduling . The reason why with scheduling is am always kept out of the dark in terms of what’s happening surrounding me, for example, I broke up with my ex because he would always schedule things with my mother, but it would affect me because I would have time or he wouldn’t have time to be with me next day. He often listen to my mother and respected her, but with me if I have a problem with that, he would say that I was dramatic, and he didn’t seem to care about me.. A lot of these things when it comes to scheduling affect me personally because I don’t get to spend time with people, since they will be busy the next day or tired . Or my time to be calm in the house, or have time to be calm. and not stressful. And a lot of it has to do with like my mother or family members and the common theme is that many people don’t seem to respect my boundaries or seem to care that affects me which is probably right a trigger and since I new divergent, it’s like 10 times worse because the way I process it and it seems as dramatic or doesn’t matter . I don’t want to do my life because it’s affecting my school. It’s affecting my ability to do things around the house. It’s affecting me a hole because I guess being 18 I’m tired of explaining to people who I am with my emotions and now I’m so emotional, but I’m having trouble with everything right now. So someone read this please give me advice and what to do because it just seems like people really don’t care and I tell people that they’re divergent and I have trouble communicating but it’s like with people, but I told them it does not matter because like my thoughts are not correct if my emotions are not correct either. What do I do? I lost my ex because of this because he did not care about my emotions and only cared about helping other people over me. I’m probably gonna lose my family because I can’t deal with them anymore them never respect my boundaries and I also can’t deal with other people in life.

I had late night sex with a girl I’m pretty much friends with at this point (we met on an app) but she said she drank a couple of drinks a few hours before meeting up. I asked if she was 100% okay with coming over so I trusted her and I just wanted to see how she was when I saw her in person. She was completely fine when I was speaking with her, wasn’t slurring her words or didn’t even smell like alcohol or was walking around funny. I made sure to ask if she was at all tipsy and she said she wasn’t, so we started making out then started having sex. I had to stop midway because I was overthinking and didn’t want to feel like I was taking advantage of her. And now I just messaged her making sure she didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I feel like a bad person.

I know that other people aren’t responsible for my triggers- like i completely get that- but some people should just think about the shit they post online. I was having a good time on TikTok, just scrolling and enjoying cute cat videos, and then there’s a video that pops up of a teacher holding out his phone and there’s screaming in the background. I didn’t care at first bc I didn’t know what was going on, but then it switched to another clip saying “substitute teacher arrested for showing cp in class”. The screaming was a child in that video, and there was absolutely no warning before the video started. Suddenly my mind is filled with “did you like that?” And groinal responses, even though I literally paused in absolute horror and my body felt like it was one big bruise from the disgust after I realized what was going on. I blocked the creator but I’m still spiraling. People need to but trigger warnings before they post, or just not post that shit at all. Like seriously.

Since the news 2 days ago of Liam Payne’s death i don’t really know exactly how to feel. First i would like to extend my love to all one direction fans if there is any on here, i know that this is an incredibly difficult time for everyone. 🩷 When it was first announced that he died i was scrolling on social media and my jaw just dropped. I didn’t have an audible reaction like i didn’t scream/yell/etc. i just sat there. And I’m kind of surprised/disappointed In myself that i didn’t have more of a reaction. Like i didn’t really cry like others I’ve seen. I feel like a good breakdown is working its way up but it hasn’t happened yet. And my mind is convincing me that I’m pretty much numb/heartless because I’m not crying at all of these sad videos that I’m seeing since his passing. And all of these heartbreaking videos of people around the world reacting and singing is tearing me apart because i wish i was a big enough fan to react that way. I’m not going to claim being a huge “super fan” because i feel like it’s disrespectful to the people that are super fans who have had one direction literally change their lives and shape them into the people they are today. But i will say that i am still a pretty big fan. In middle school me and a friend had fan pages dedicated to 1D and i remember being so obsessed with them. However i never had posters in my room and cds and albums and memorabilia and all of these things. I simply just had my phone and old videos of them claiming to be a super fan. I guess the reason i never became an obsessed super fan is because i felt embarrassed and i don’t know why. Like i felt like in my life people made fun of 1D and being a fan was deemed “weird” i guess. So i kept it to myself. However today i so wish that i had these posters and everything one direction but i just didn’t. I also Fell out of love with them overtime which i also immensely regret. Once they broke up i kind of just quit following them individually and i feel terrible about it. And that’s something that i hate about myself because i do it allll the time. Like i will be obsessed with something for so long and then I’ll just be over it and forget about it. Like i claim to be a big time rush and Jonas brother fan as well but again i don’t have shirts, cds, memorabilia, etc. Like im not a consistent fan of anything and it really is breaking my heart. I also feel like i want to make a T-shirt in his memory but i don’t want to seem like a fake fan who wants attention. I also want to listen to all 1D music and watch old videos that make me laugh but i feel guilty for smiling. It’s hard to balance it all 😞 regarding Liam my heart is breaking for anyone around the world who this affected. Along with his family of course especially his son. He deserved so much more than this life has given him. I wish him peace and happiness in his new found life. His death has really stunned me and has motivated me to get in touch with my emotional side because right now i feel like I’m not an emotional person and nothing affects me and i really do hate that feeling. I wish i reacted differently to the news not to be dramatic but to just show that i care. This was an extremely long post. I dont expect anyone to read it all but it’s truly everything that I’ve been thinking wrote down. It’s hard for me to say things out loud to family members because i feel like I’m silly for feeling this way. It feels really good to get this off of my chest and to anyone that took time to read it i thank you so much for listening 🩷

Is it just me or does anyone else think some of these celebrities or other successful people are overstating their struggle with ocd just to make a buck? E.I. Howie Mandel. Its like, you know you are very successful for someone whos had such crippling ocd your entire life lol. Maybe the criteria for ocd diagnosis is lower than i think.

I forgot what is to be happy. I was a happy person before all this and I feel like ocd took that from me. Ocd got so severe that the last 3 months I’m in a constant loop of compulsions and intrusive thoughts. And haven’t felt real joy in this 3 months. I feel like ocd trying to attack me from every direction and he succeed. I really one to come back to my old life. I even started to see a therapist that I can tell everything and she has a good tips but it’s me, I just can’t do it. Like everyone saying that erp is the best way to recover , but it’s not working (might be because I’m doing a lot of compulsions). I’m really trying to recover but it feel impossible especially with Pocd . That my dream from being young was to be a mother and always loved kids they are cute. But now being around them gives me so much anxiety and urges that I can’t do it. Like ocd is so weird because when I was in rocd episode almost a year ago I read about all of ocd theme including Pocd. And I was so sure that I wasn’t a p so I didn’t need to double myself. And about like 2 months after ,Pocd started and got really worse. It’s just feels impossible to recover like ocd is so strong and there is no way out. And I’m really trying but it’s all seems impossible right now. Like my thoughts are about every person I love. And also I feel like I will never be happy again like before that life were so fun. And now? I don’t want to wake up in the morning all the fun vibe is gone and never going to come back. I’m just tired being sad all the time, I was a very happy person before this, I really think that my life is over. My main dream in life is just to create a family and it feel impossible because of this stupid disorder. I’m so sad cause I’m just 16 and really don’t think my life has meaning anymore. I feel like I’m wasting my “fun” years on this. I’m seeing everyone having fun and there is me. I know that the neighbor grass is not greener but it’s feel like it. Is just that my mind tell me to do things that I clearly don’t want to!. Like I all the time think that I crossed the line with Pocd and I’m a p. Even though I had more themes .I feel like a monster all day, this is not the life I want. At this point it’s hard to believe I have ocd. I’m just tired of everything of life of suffering. I just want to lock myself in my room and never leave. I feel like I lost everything like I’m a zombie at this point, like I can’t feel any emotion that I used to (love , happiness, excitement) I’m just feeling sad all day and crying all day. Even my parents don’t know what to do with me, they told me I was a happy person once and now I’m close person with no emotions.I know they want me to be happy but every-time they see me cry (once in a week, even though I cry everyday most of is but I’m good at hiding it) they start to yell at me and I know they love me and I love them and wouldn’t wish for any other parent, but it’s killing me I want them to understand that I’m trying everything I can. That I have no power inside of me. Today i broke down again because I remembered that next week we are going to see my family and the intrusive thoughts hits me so I broke down (I really don’t want to go) .and they started to scream at me and that I’m doing it on purpose, I feel so alone like nobody understand me. They told me that if I’m not happy they are not happy. And I get that I really do. But they don’t are not the person who actually suffer 24/7 with this. I know I sound like a brat or something like that but I can’t stop thinking about it. My mom told me things that made me sob today. I just want one person to talk to I feel alone. I feel like everyone hates me right now , my family, friends (who I barely talk), and me I hate myself the most. I feel doomed , I don’t want to get out of bad just to sleep 24/7 , doing the simplest action (like brushing my teeth ) seem so hard and I don’t have power to do it, I barely eat rn, I just want everything to stop. Im even sorry to say that but I feel like I kinda hate everyone rn. Like my environment , im jealous that they don’t need to live like this 24/7. I feel alone. I feel like there is no point. I hate myself for it but im even angry at god for making me like this and create a monster like me. I want to throw up right know and can’t stop crying, just want that someone will take away this pain. Im sorry this is very long.

I spend a lot of my time throughout days searching online for the things I struggle with because I guess it's how I can try to find closure about what I'm going through. That being my porn and sex addiction and my health in regards to it. I spend so much time searching online what my health conditions could be or what my mental conditions are like, and this time it's been about my sexual health. I look on health forums with doctors that can tell people their problems and I try to use those links to compare my concerns with other people to see if they're very similar. This usually doesn't put my worries to rest but I can't help but keep doing it time and time again. One time though, a link came up and it was a minor that asked about something along the lines of the same problem. The issue is people can post pictures about their sexual health concerns and I always acknowledge that it's an adult but if it doesn't say I don't click on it. If it does, I do. But when it involved the minor, I had no idea of the person's age before clicking the link, it loaded up their age in the sub paragraph text and it showed images and I instantly clicked off and stopped searching reassurance online. I felt so awful about this. I didn't want to see that. I wanted nothing to do with minors about this, only adults. I posted about this before and someone told me that doctors have to look at these kinds of things often, whether they are adults or minors. And it makes sense from that perspective because they need to treat those people as best as they can. It's in their field. But I'm just a patient just like those people. I didn't want to see that and if I knew that they were 16 before opening it, I wouldn't have opened it at all. Not at all. I hate that this happened and it just makes me feel really disgusted in myself. I realize that all of my problems come from my porn and sex addiction and I just want it to stop for good. None of this would have happened if I just didn't struggle with this for most of my life and I would have never been so concerned with my sexual health if I didn't act out on my impulsive addiction just to chase a stupid high. This stuff makes me feel weak, embarrassing, and just pathetic sometimes. I just hate having to deal with this time and time again.

My therapist suspects that I have ADHD. I haven’t been screened yet but I think I fit the diagnostic criteria perfectly and it would explain A LOT! I’ve always had issues with anger and irritation, growing up it would be especially bad at home. I get frustrated easily and at home I would often yell a lot and had meltdowns as a kid or teen. I am NOT like this at all at school or work or with my long term boyfriend or friends. Granted, I grew up in an angry household where there would often be yelling so I think I internalized it. I want to add that I only really get like this over very silly things. When i’m overstimulated, stressed, mild irritation, my brother annoying me etc. I don’t get like this over actual serious things or when people hurt me (i’m actually very forgiving of those). My OCD often fixates on this anger and I often obsess over it. It causes a lot of guilt and anxiety. I worry that it means I’m a bad person or that I have another more serious and more concerning disorder. I feel sick when I think of the times i’ve lost my temper. How should I accept and cope with this?

Hello all!, I wanted to write one more post before I delete this app again in honor of OCD awareness week. I am incredibly thankful to NOCD, and all the tools they have taught me in learning to live with OCD. The difference between 10 months this ago and now is night and day and there have been a lot of days recently where I could just cry over this feeling of truly finding myself again and finally put this experience behind me. While I see signs of OCD in my childhood, I really see it taking a hold of my life 8 years ago. Eventually during that time where I first began being noticeably affected by OCD, originally due to health concerns, I wound up in a mental hospital for a night due to thoughts of self harm and an unforgettable feeling of numbness that lasted for weeks after that day when my theme switched to that of SOOCD, although I didn’t know what it was at the time. Even when I came across SOOCD days later and knew that that was what I was going through, I ignored the OCD part and instead let that part of my life become a scar that I hid from everyone, even my wife when we first met a year later. I was so ashamed of myself for being brought to that point, and let it hang like a black cloud over me for so long. Even now I still feel shame when I think of that moment, but I am working towards accepting that moment as a part of me, especially so this week. On Monday I made a Facebook post acknowledging my struggles with OCD. It was certainly not easy admitting to all the people I see on a regular basis that I deal with this, but I wanted to bring awareness to what OCD actually is and the struggles it can bring, as well as how important our support system can be, especially so with my wife. I do not know of anyone else I would rather have by my side as I work towards recovery than her and I am so lucky to not just have her in my life but also be able to call my wife. It’s hard working towards undoing 30 plus years, of what I know realize, was problematic thinking patterns, even if it has brought me success in some aspects of my life. It’s very hard accepting the uncertainty of the themes I especially deal with, like SOOCD, Existential, Morality, etc., but it is possible and while I am not happy that my SOOCD theme came back this year, I am also glad it did, because I learned finally of the beast that had been tormenting me, and have learned how to deal with it. It’s also made me appreciative of my own mother more, who let me know of her struggles with OCD when I admitted to my own. If you read this, thank you so much for taking the time out. There is so much I can say and probably want to go back and edit, but I would rather go on with my day than do that. If you are weary of reaching out for help whether it be with NOCD or any OCD specialist, I truly encourage you to do it. We all are afraid of being told that we don’t have this illness that we also don’t want to have, but getting a diagnosis and working towards going about it in a healthy and positive way, will make your life so much better than you ever imagined it can be. It will take time, a lot of time sometimes, so please be patient and do not rush recovery. Be kind to yourself, don’t aim for perfection or absolute removal of all these thoughts and instead just focus on the things that are most important to you. You can do this and you are not alone!

Ive been feeling Better lately but today I was watching a TV show and there was this masc woman and I kinda wanted to see if I was attracted to her, like I even put the glasses on to see Better her face and I now i'm spiraling lol. Idk why when there Is a really masculine woman I do this. Maybe I do really like women who look like men. Why they confuse me so much? I must be a lesbian.

How to forgive myself about shameful compulsion I did 2 months ago? I can’t move on from me doing the compulsion 2 months ago (I did it a few time and stoped because I know that it is bad and swore that no matter what I’m never doing it again). I wanted to check and get rid of the thought and I can’t forgive myself because of it. I feel like a monster. I don’t even want to forgive myself

Hey guys- I don’t know if any of you with religion/spirituality ocd struggle with the “unacceptable thoughts” about like evil and stuff but I’m struggling.. it feels like I believe that I want the evil stuff because I had demon-like voices in my head as ahead where I went to talk to God when I was experiencing great distress and then these evil thoughts came in and I let them in and like “ok-ed” evil stuff. Especially because I felt so forced into my faith journey as a kid so it’s like that “feeling rejected -> rebellion thing) but I also know that but I also have such fond memories of feeling so close to God to leaning on Him for so many things. It’s so hard because 90% of my memories as a kid, I struggled with severe ocd and no one knew what it was or how debilitating it could be I’m trying the ERP with these thoughts but😭 have any of you gone through the same things? It’s so strong In my mind because I know there’s actual spiritual warfare so I feel like - pray for me guys

How to accept blasphemous thoughts? people might giving me some verses but those are not enough ive been fighting this anxiety for 10 months right now! And (can you answer my feelings?) the more i think good thoughts then my body gives me chill of nervousness and feeling thatbi will be living this distress for all of my life like i cant be happy eternally.

I have no idea if thats my autism or ocd but I know that this isnt normal Im obsessed with aesthetics, everything has several aesthetics that can be connected to them. And by everything I mean everything. Everything you do. Im also scared of everyone who has different aesthetic or is sligthly different from me. I already uninstalled tiktok, I stopped using instagram and youtube because Im so scared of people being different from me, It makes me spiral. Also Im extremally anxious about people perceiving me or things I like in different way than I want. It gives me several looping and intrusive thoughts

I'm reaching out in hopes of finding others who might relate to my experiences or offer insights. I'm dealing with a complex interplay of OCD, depression, and existential anxiety, and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Here's what I'm experiencing: I have OCD with various manifestations, along with episodes of depression. I find myself in a cyclical pattern where, after a few weeks, I start to remind myself about my depressive tendencies. This reminder seems to trigger a cycle that actually makes me feel more depressed or at least more aware of depressive symptoms. When this happens, I often experience feelings of nihilism and existential dread. I try to think about my family - my two young boys and my wife - to find motivation or a sense of purpose, but this strategy often backfires, making me feel even more anxious and depressed. I constantly check my feelings, wondering if they're depressive or anxious. At the same time, I fear that my feelings of anxiety and panic might spiral out of control. I think about my emotions and thoughts on a meta-level, which means I'm not just experiencing feelings, but I'm also constantly analyzing the fact that I'm experiencing them. There's an existential component to my struggles, a fear of depression and anxiety itself, and a sense that this might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps most frustratingly, I often have feelings, thoughts, or sensory experiences that I can't explain or put into words. I feel like I've never heard of these before, which leaves me feeling deeply misunderstood. Does anyone else experience something similar? How do you cope with this complex web of symptoms and experiences? I'm particularly interested in hearing from those who've found ways to break the cycle of meta-cognition and self-fulfilling anxiety. Any insights, shared experiences, or strategies would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for your time and understanding.