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I was wondering if it's okay to talk about something other than OCD if I feel like I'm in a crisis. I'm not sure if the OCD is involved or not or if it's just emotional dysregulation or if it is just severe abuse that I can't break away from and the abuses from my father and I'm 50 years old and from my son and I feel like this is it I feel like I've been pushed to the edge and I can't get better and there's nobody out there. I reach out but nobody reaches back

I'm so scared that by thinking about things I can make them happen. I know that's a central thing in OCD but I googled it and a lot of people actually say that if you think about stuff you can make it happen. I've been processing a lot of trauma and having intrusive thoughts about it and I'm so scared that if I think about people who hurt me it will make them contact me and it's making me feel really paranoid and scared and panic and I'm just so scared that I'm somehow conjuring bad people to come into my life and that I'm going to somehow get sucked back into my past or that I am somehow calling people close to me who could hurt me or that something bad is going to happen to me because my thoughts have been so scary and triggering. I'm also feeling really dissociated and I'm worried that these thoughts are actually me starting to have some sort of a psychotic break or something. Please help I'm so scared.

So, it's 13 years since violent thoughts started plaguing me. I've actually had them since I was 4. But, the ones that turned out to be the worst are the ones towards my kids. It started during the Casey Anthony acquittle. My friends wanted me to go to a show with them and I said I couldn't because I had my son with me. I didn't care at all. I was fine spending the day with him. Then, out of nowhere, my brain said, "you could k*** him." I brushed it off. Then a couple of minutes later I started freaking out as to why I thought that. Then I started playing all of these scenarios in my head. I didn't WANT to hurt him at all, but anytime I looked at something, my brain was saying if you do it you can go. My brain said, "oh, you still have time. You could do it. Then you can go." It was the worst day of my life. I didn't understand why I suddenly started thinking that shit, especially since I was ok hanging out with him. Has anything ever happened to anyone else in a similar fashion? I talk with a NOCD therapist, but I've yet to hear anyone have a theme such as this. It's messing with me.

I read an article on NOCD. It was triggering. In article she mentioned having so-ocd. She mentioned so-ocd often gets misunderstood and that she had internalized homophobia. She also mentioned being ill-informed on her values. This has distressed me so much. It’s made me question what if I don’t have so-ocd. I also did an exposure. I was watching a YouTube video called signs I missed growing up that I was a lesbian. In the video she mentioned being infatuated with her friends that were girls. I felt like when I met a new friend I would obsess over them. Then she mentioned being uncomfortable in lockers rooms when they had to change and I remember feeling uncomfortable. She also mentioned having dreams with girls and liking it. Last night I had a dream that I was having sex with my best friend and that I liked it. I am married and have a 6 month old and have a fear of losing my husband.

My ocd has been so bad the last 2 months I've fallen into depression. Never experienced this feeling before of dread. Every morning I wake up dreading the day. I'm so tired of coming on here and whining I used to be so strong. I'm weaning off effexor too right now but my ocd is stuck on a weird existential theme right now. I keep having thoughts of my brain and how it's weird i have one and idk why it gives me anxiety. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday now I feel nothing. I'm taking my son trick or treating later and I just feel like a bad father

I have this phobia of sleepwalking and doing something bad without me realising. Las night something happened that made me think I could've sleep walked and do something horrible. I woke up at like 4 am wanting to go to pee so I got up normally and before I reached the bathroom I had a bad intrusive thought of doing harm but I just tried to ignore it. After I left the bathroom I went straight to my room and fell asleep almost immediately. However this morning when I woke up my dad asked me why I left the kitchen cabinets open and took out a pack of napkins. I froze and felt my blood turn cold when I heard that because there are knives in those drawers. I told him that maybe he took them out and don't remember but he said he didn't do that and never got up during the night. I asked everyone else that was here last night and they said they didn't do that either. Now i'm here literally shaking, feeling like losing my mind and crying histerically because first thing I thought was that I slept walked after having that intrusive thought and opened the kitchen cabinets to take out a kn*ife to do something horrible. I am absolutely terrified if that happened, I clearly don't remember doing that, I only remember going to the bathroom, peeing and going back to the bedroom right away. This couldn't have hapened right?! I would remember if I had slept walked and did that, right?! I don't have a history of sleep walking in the past, as far as I know. I have no explanation to this incident and I feel like i'm about to have a nervous breakdown and feel like I need to find out what really happened yes or yes or I will not be able to cope. Someone please help?!!

I have a favorite character from a video game which of course has to be a damn child (he was an interesting character and was actually based on my favorite horror movie which what made him my favorite) and I made an oc cause I could do that which she is a little girl since the character is a young boy as well and (it’s a whole thing) and I thought it would be fun but now I’m just suddenly having these thoughts about being attracted to the character which I never really was and I want to keep it that way. I feel so ashamed and it just keeps coming to haunt me. How do I stop this madness? I don’t know if it’s because I’m an adult now and have a mind of an adult or what I just want this to stop bro. Like I NEVER felt attraction to the character what so ever he was just my favorite because he reminded me of my favorite horror movie character. And I guess it was because we got to see the horror movie character grew up and the video game character never got to see as an adult. Which is kind of disappointing actually because it had three games to the series. Like…

For months now, ever since one accident (which I think was because there was genuinely sth wrong with my bladder) I have been scared of just randomly peeing myself. So whenever I’m for example in a car, I get anxious and then that leads to me feeling like I need to pee and then I can’t stop focusing on it and obviously that makes me feel even more like I need to pee which leads to me going to the toilet only shortly after I had already been. And yesterday I was at a theme park and the queues to the rollercoasters were absolute hell for me since you can’t go outside anymore after going in (especially because sometimes I was alone so if I had gone outside, they wouldn’t have let me back in for sure). And I was on a water coaster so I sat on an already wet seat and just got more wet throughout because the people who were also in that boat specifically sat down in a way that would get their side more wet because of the weight on that side and sadly I ended up on that side too. But after that I went to another rollercoaster where I proceeded to stand for over an hour. And at some point I started to notice having to go to the toilet (I had been before going on the water coaster but the wait time there was only 1 minute so I had been like 50 minutes ago at that point), but the wait lines in that coaster are insane and it was difficult to get out of the queue in the first place so I decided to push though and get those 15 minutes over with. So I was on the rollercoaster and then instantly I ran to the toilet, but on the toilet I noticed that, at the very back of my underwear there was a wet spot. And then I started to Panik, thinking I must’ve magically peed myself on the rollercoaster despite not having felt anything (I barely enjoyed the rollercoaster because I was so hyper aware of every single sensation, wasted a first row experience on ts). But like, the wetness was on the height of my back pockets so really far on the sides where my pee hole can’t even actually reach. And I also never noticed myself peeing myself because that would’ve obviously realised warmth but I didn’t feel any warmth. And the pants had been wet all the time and I remember having felt that wet spot while still standing in the queue so it would’ve been impossible for me to just pee upwards while standing. It was also not that big of a wet spot and on my pants you could only feel the wetness but not see it. But yea, this still has me thinking because obviously that would’ve been horrifically embarrassing. Do y’all think this is even possible because of the positioning of the wet spot? Because my brain doesn’t allow my own logic of things

So ever since I was little now that I think about it I might have had ocd I would had what some would call rocd and have intrusive thoughts like I hate god or I sold my soul obviously being a kid I didn't know what ocd was cause I always thought it was about organization and etc but everytime I would have to do mental compulsion like everytime I got a thought like that I had to ask for forgiveness I eventually stopped as I got older and now I would call myself an agnostic but at the start of this year I started having intrusive thoughts about harming myself and others after I was having bad panic attack every day due to stress I obviously could tell I was not doing okay so started researching and found out about schizophrenia(worst thing I have ever done)my brain automatically went hyperaware of everything,every sound,vision etc also scared that I would go insane and hurt someone so anytime I would hear something or see anything I would get terrified thinking I could be hallucinating I remember even getting my mom to take me to the hospital it was so bad even tried to go to the 7th floor which is the floor for mentally ill patients but they just brushed it off and said it was probably due to anxiety so fast forward I start seeing a doctor he also said he didn't think I was schizophrenic after telling him a he prescribed me medication ssri 100mg He started actually doing better got another job and started doing well I still had the thoughts and fear of schizophrenia but didn't bother me that's when I had the thought what if my brother is trying to kill me that's when it spiraled with these thoughts having paranoid thoughts about what if people are plotting against me and not what ifs but they are but I 1000000000% don't believe them and know that's crazy no one is plotting or trying to hurt me but I became obsessed with this new thought and the new theme switched,I mean technically the same theme cause it is the fear of schizophrenia but the thoughts changed I guess probably because I researched so much about schizophrenia now I'm even more scared I'm becoming schizophrenic cause these paranoid thoughts worry me because I start to think what if I believe them like I know I don't but what if I do,I always see that schizophrenic are paranoid about this and I know I don't believe them but it's like my mind is always thinking about it I mean I could literally be walking outside,shopping,doing whatever I'm doing see someone and have the thought there plotting against me or trying to kill me and I'm like what noooooo what the hell who thinks that,a schizophrenic of course and I have to constantly research everyday my symptoms of paranoid thinking and it's hard because I hear everybody else relate to being scared of developing it but mine really does like I'm having actual paranoid thoughts that again I know is insane and not true I even got a therapist she also said she doesn't believe I have it but trauma she didn't say anything about ocd though so it's like what is it then schizophrenia these thoughts just distress me so much cause what if I start believing them and they feel so real cause most people have what ifs mine are they are but I still 1000000% don't believe them

One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him

I’m really scared to talk about this but I feel like it’s bothering me so much right now. Idk what started my groinal responses but I realized that they’ve been going on for a long time. This whole thing is weird idek if it is a groinal response or if i’m trying to trick myself, but the only thing i’m sure about is that I hate it so much and I pray everyday that it goes away. So I noticed everytime I get excited or happy I start feelings stuff down there. Like I remember when I used to take care and sleep with my baby neice while her mom was at work. I swaddled her up and layed her next to me and just seeing how small she looked, I felt like I was a mom. But, just the feeling of taking care of her like i was her mom made me feel something down there. When I noticed it I was like wtf… why do i feel that. Ik for a fact that im not attracted to kids but why did i feel that. It happens alot when I spoil my neice and nephews, like i was at the store today and I saw pajamas that I knew my neice would like and then I was like shes gonna look so adorable in this and then I get that feeling again. Idk what it is. Idk i really dont know I hate it so much. She doesn’t deserve this.

Hi guys, I have ROCD and just figured it out about 2 weeks ago. For 2 weeks I have been having horrible anxiety over the thought I had that said “do you even like him” the thought came out of absolutely nowhere and basically hit me like a bus. Before that thought everything was perfect and now I find myself questioning everything. Today I was doing well with little to no anxiety over these thoughts but now my brain has gone to “if your not having anxiety about these thoughts you must actually not like him” im trying not to spiral but my god this is exhausting. Let me know what you guys think, I start therapy for ROCD in one week. And remember you are so loved.

I’m confused and idk how i feel. I feel empty. I feel like i don’t feel bad for my religious thoughts anymore and that maybe i’m having them on purpose??.. I don’t know how to explain. Has anyone else felt like this.?

I was doing fine and right now I’m ok but I still have this mental anxiety. Basically I keep seeing images when I’m in the bathroom of me putting the paper on my mouth or face. It’s so gross. I can’t get the image out of my head. It’s based on a true event like I really did go to the bathroom but I didn’t do that I know I didn’t because I checked my face and my mouth after there was nothing there no drops of anything and I didn’t even lift my hand to do something like that. Also in the moment I didn’t have anxiety but as soon as I washed my hands and stepped out of the bathroom how come I got anxiety and images then? Well actually I didn’t have some anxiety during but the thing is I’ve been paranoid about using the bathroom for a few days now so every time I go I get scared. Actually not every time it’s only really specific times. I don’t understand any of this if anyone has any answers please help me. This even affects me when I shower and it’s ruining my life.

I’m afraid to move my tongue to a scary intrusive thought that I’m terrified by. I’m hyper focusing about my tongue all day. And I’m trying to check if I’m moving my tongue. Like when I’m thinking about a thought I’m hyper focus on my mouth and I feel like I move my tongue to the thought even though I’m not.I can feel my tongue and I’m going crazy. I feel anxious and can’t focus on anything else I feel like do it to get rid of the thought is my only chance I hate it

I have a fear of blurting out bad things. And I think this is related to Harm OCD. They’re really vile phrases or things that are directed towards people I like. For example, “I’m going to/want to *insert awful action* *insert name*” and it feels so much more intense when I’m near that person or near someone who cares about that person. I’ll also get thoughts that tell me to “just do it” and it feels like so much pressure. The most I’ve ever given in is mouthing it to myself. At times it’ll be random words or taboo things that shouldn’t be said lightly. Sometimes it’s a declaration like “I am a *insert terrible word*” and none of this is true. I’m having a really hard time because when I’m near my boyfriend, since he knows about these kinds of thoughts/impulses, I’m scared that I’ll just say it to get relief from the mental pressure especially since I’ve mouthed some of them to myself. I feel like I’ve been so close to doing it and that horrifies me. Is there any advice I could get or just anyone who experiences something similar?

NO MINORS i was on the subway and there was a baby in a stroller. i thought "cute :)" while looking at him and had a groinal response that felt good. i had no intrusive thoughts, nothing, just that feeling. what does that mean, it's not even the first time, why does this always happen around children

I went through ERP which helped a little but starting ICBT to hopefully help with rumination. I deal with suicidal ocd mainly which originally was a lot of specific harm thoughts and has now turned into “do I wanna do something” “am I depressed” and over analyzing everything that has to do with mental health. I’m on 20 of Prozac, have been for a couple months. My anxiety has almost went away but this week I’ve been concerned that I’m developing depression (for the first time ever), but I’m just not sure. I feel off. I feel “blah”. I’m worried that I’m not caring as much about things I did before. I’m ruminating a lot. Does anyone have any advice or insight? It’s really bothering me. I don’t want to freak out over this but want to prevent depression getting bad.

I just got my midterm 2 grade back from thermodynamics I got a 12/63. The lowest grade in the class I’m trying my best to stay calm and not want to punish myself. Now I’m laying in bed and I have another midterm next week for statics where I am failing but I did well on the last 2 quizzes so I’m at a 52% also I’ve been going to office hours it’s been helping. I found out today my issue why I fail my exams and quizzes is because I have test anxiety to the point when I sit down I forget everything ( I studied 7 hours a day 5 days before the midterm). I was thinking to prepare for this next midterm to do the opposite not study more then 4 hrs a day ( I study 8 hrs plus a day including hmw) and try to time myself for each question to do the homework and lecture questions and if I don’t get it done in that time look at the answer and come back to it later on ( so I don’t memorize the answer). I have not the best memory so I won’t remember the answer after 10 minutes lol. I’m not trying to beat myself up for failing but I’m trying to find a different approach. Any advice? Also I barely studied 4 hours this morning but a part of me wants to get up and study not because I have to but to beat myself up about failing :(

Hello everyone! I’m from Italy and I’ve been in talking therapy from 2018. Been diagnosed with OCD in spring 2022 after years of crazy suffering (themes like religious and scrupolosity OCD, main theme POCD which brought me into depression and desperation. Nothing got better of course in the talking therapy). In summer 2022 I started being on Zoloft + informed myself with content on instagram that helped me SO much in making things better. So I decided to choose a behavioral-oriented specialist in ocd. Found one, started the treatment in summer 2023. The thing is, that we are not really doing ERP as I know it from online info. His explanation of OCD is that it comes from not being able to take a strong position in your life, in several things (indeed, I am a big people pleaser). So we are working on me being more able to stand for myself, which is good, and I see improvement. Also in obsessions. But then, when sometimes obsessions come back, I feel immediately the guilt of “ok so where didn’t I take my position”, because he’s usually telling me that obsessive episodes reappear in periods in which I’m not taking my position (and this would lead to trusting less myself, so obsessions come). But this seems to me to differ from all of the content that I find online. Also, he’s not really providing me help for what to do when I have the obsessions, or how to deal with harder exposing situations in which I find myself in my daily life. So in those occasions, I just try to manage by myself with the information I have. Can some specialized therapist tell me if this explanation/therapy is harmful for ocd, or if it’s fine? I’ve been questioning myself about this for a whole year now. It’s hard, because I wouldn’t want to change therapist again, and don’t want also to question the procedures of a specialized person. But I also want to treat my OCD as best as I can. Thank you very much!