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I feel like my job triggers a lot of how im feeling. Im now a manager and the stress of it really causes my thoughts to convince me that I am worthless and all of the customers and my staff hate me

OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?

>> Borderline Personality Disorder >> OCD (Suspected) - Pure, Perfectionism, Relationship, P, False Memory, Symmetry, Real Events, and Harm. >> Conversion Disorder >> Panic Disorder >> Major Depressive Disorder Recurrent >> PTSD >> Arthritis/Autoimmune Condition It is so exhausting.....

I just want some help cuz I don't know what to do. If you want to help me, please see my last post. I talked to my mom about it, she was respectful and understanding, but OCD just won't let me move on. I don't know what to do, my therapist said that if it doesn't bother me and I already talked to my mom, then I should just let go, but every interaction I have with her makes me wonder if it is appropriate. Like today she came into my room and laid in my bed and hugged me (she was really sweet) I am sick and with my teeth hurting like hell, headaches and she came to ask me if I am okay and say goodbye cuz she was going to work. But OCD keep saying "She shouldn't enter your room without permission, let alone lie next to you, that's inappropriate and she's a pervert." I once talked to her about it and she said "You think I am a pervert." and hearing that coming out of her mouth was destructive, because she is not one, she is respectful and caring, but she obviously noticed me stopping to do the things I used to do around her and me not wanting to be close to her due to OCD, and I heard how sas she was, imagine wanting to hug your daughter and give her goodnight kisses and she telling you to stop cuz she thinks it is inappropriate, and she knows it is because of OCD and not my true desires, I want to life with her like I always lived, hugging her, laughing with her. So please, someone help to get over it. I am tired.

I need help:( my ocd targets my pets aswell. I have to compulsively pet them everywhere I can to make sure I don’t pet them anywhere inappropriate so I can feel comfortable petting them without being hyper aware. Kindve like I can let my guard down once I pet them everywhere. But it targets when I rub their belly and lower belly or when I pat or scratch their butt (end of tail rear end area). So I end up having to pet all around there and show my myself “see, even if it’s NEAR their groin or butt it’s not inappropriate “ or I have to put my hand and feet(sometimes I pet them with my feet) in certain positions to make sure anywhere I rest my arm or leg wouldn’t be touching an inappropriate area directly. This doesn’t help in the long run because afterwards I feel weird for doing the compulsion, and it makes me feel lien I violated my pet. When I only did it in the first place to make sure I didn’t. Then after the compulsion makes me feel worse, the ocd stops worrying about the old stuff and latches onto the compulsion telling me I did something wrong. So I do more compulsions. It’s a repeated cycle. I feel so sad

when im doing everyday stuff like brushing my teeth.when im finished i have to throw the toothbrush in the cabinet but i cant look at it after i thrown it i have to run away and my brain tells me if its in the right place and if it isn’t i have to go back and throw it again and again till i get it right which makes me late to lots of things especially school. i also have these quite triggering voices in my head all the time which say stuff like ‘if yu don’t throw this glass yu dad is going to die tomorrow and when i try to ignore the voices bad stuff happens and people die the only thing i can think of doing is ending my life to stop hurting others. it’s like im a monster and idk what i should do.

i am starting NOCD therapy on monday and was just curious on others’ experiences! what happens in your sessions, generally speaking? how do you feel during and after? i’m excited but also nervous to start. i’ve been in talk therapy for years with minimal improvement with my ocd, so im hopeful to start feeling better.

Does anyone else have compulsions that mix in with each other and you have to end up picking what one makes you LESS scared or uncomfortable but it’s still overwhelming? Like rn I used all my hand towels, need to wash and dry them but no clean ones to dry hands with currently, a bath towel makes me feel like whatever was on my hair or body even after a shower is contaminated cause I don’t want it on my HANDS, but there’s one DRY and untouched towel but I think it’s contaminated by something else so I’m too scared to use it…. What do you do in this situation? It happens a lot when they intertwine and I dunno what to do ….. also what one is more or less valid…which one would help me more in the future. Regardless I’m sitting here thinking I have bleach or another chemical on my hands cause at the time I decided to dry my hands with the hair towel…

I've suffered with OCD for 50 years with many different themes. SOOCD is my primary theme, and no matter which theme I may be in the middle of it always comes back to SOOCD. I'm back in therapy because after a couple of really good years, I've been in the middle of a flare up. My new therapist with NOCD, recently asked me what my core fear about homosexuallity is. I can't seem to answer that. The only answer that I can come up with, is that it is just egotistic. I'm a heterosexual man who loves my wife and raised three great kids. My question is, have. any ofyou ever been able to answer that question. I would appreciate any thoughts on this question. Thank you and have a great day.

When I think back on bad memories or mistakes I've made when I was younger, I wish I could start all over again. Sometimes, it gets to a point where I'll start to imagine using a permanent solution. That bothers me even more, honestly. A year ago, I didn't think about these memories daily, weekly, or even monthly. If they did cross my mind, they didn't dictate who I am as a person, then or now. I've been trying really hard not to confess or research because I don't want to go back to that point in my life where it's all I did every single day. I don't want to end things. I'm just tired :(

https://youtu.be/dltL0mL_2wc?feature=shared It's tied into a lot of beliefs, religions and philosophies. Same thing different wording/ languages modes etc. If you watch it, don't get too caught up on any fancy words or terminologies, just translate it to whatever you're comfortable with. It's a small glimpse into what is waiting for you beyond ocd. It's hard to get to this stage once you've accidentally fell into the anxiety / fear trap of thoughts and misinterpretations of the body's signals. Whether the cause was accidental, incidental or intentional, they are inconsequential to the solution ultimately. It does take work to undo it, inner work and unconditional love for yourself. You can change your reality. Your story is not over yet, it is still being written.

I feel like the worst kind of person and I am ruining my husband. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to change.

Sometimes, when I see people in videos, photos, or in person, I intentionally imagine them naked. I’m really freaking out about it and don’t fully understand why I do it. It doesn’t always feel intrusive, sometimes it feels like I’m just taking the time to visualize it, which scares me even more. Can anyone explain what might be happening? Is this just natural curiosity, or something else? I feel really ashamed and don’t know how to handle it. I’m scare it’ll happen with children or family members. Maybe that would be a compulsion at that point but I’m scared

tell me why… idk if this is just me but i’m so scared i have ovarian cancer, kidney stone, kidney failure, UTI, hernia, or something wrong that’s making my lower stomach to my inner thigh and pelvic area. i have an uncomfortable feeling. it was hurting more last night then it is today… everytime i pee it doesn’t hurt but i somewhat still get the uncomfortable feeling down there and feeling in stomach. i’ve been googling and idk what to do because i’m scared of the doctors and i haven’t had a physical like in 2 years and i’m like scared if i go to a physicial i will have something wrong with me like i have cancer or something that i don’t know about. something tells me the pain tho in general is something gastrointestinal related but idk if could mean i have pain down “there”…. i took a tylenol last night it helped a little but then it still kinda occurred and i took a tum and it’s still the same i think it’s still occurring since i’m so hyper focused about it. idk i’m just like ugh my OCD was doing so well i just can’t tell what it is or if something is wrong i’m just scared :( i hate when having certain pains i freak out.

Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.

Just found a necklace of mine that I used to wear so long ago 24/7, it was my favorite ever. It's so beautiful. But I've convinced myself it's bad luck because during the time I was wearing it, I was having a hard time with many things in life. So now I think that if I put this necklace back on, bad things are going to happen. I really missed this necklace, but can't get myself to put it back on because I don't want to risk it. I hate this.

does anyone else get flashbacks of things they’ve seen due to giving into their compulsion??? whenever i’m having a remotely normal time or having fun or thinking of making a big decision i have flashes of videos or pictures or just made up scenarios that are related to horrible things i’ve seen and compulsively watched and did stuff with. it immediately kills my mood and makes me ruminate about it and i think about it over and over. i find myself wondering if ocd drew me to do those things or if it was genuine attraction. what if im a horrible monster who’s into awful and illegal and morally wrong stuff??? what if im using ocd to cover it up and it’s not ocd it’s just i thing i was into??? these thoughts are never ending and show up at the worst times. i’m terrified all the time. it renders me sick & unable to make any decision because i’m afraid if i choose to do so it’ll make everybody aware of the things child me/young teenage me did. it feels like all my past traumas and experiences are being blasted on a jumbotron. i’m even scared to post this. again does anyone else know what i mean + does anyone know how to “get over” this feeling/any tips???

( First I appologize this is so long I feel really bad) I work at a daycare and I am new to my job. so am terrified of being mean or disciplining a kid or if someone snaps at me or is mean to me I can’t snap back or else in my mind I am a terrible person and I will not be able to forgive myself for the longest time. I am constantly asking people if I was accidentally mean without me realizing it. A long time ago I was manipulating and emotionally abused and other abuse happened to me and J struggled well before the abuse as well. The abuse made it worse, now I feel a lot of shame for feeling my emotions. I am a happy person with a lot of anxiety and depression if you met me J am super patient. At my job it was my first time running a room with 6 kids under 24 months. I LOVEDDD it sooo much! However kids started to bite each other and a couple of them were crying and there was one that kicked me I told them they couldn’t bite or kick which was super hard for me going again my thoughts but it was to protect them and even that is so hard on me! I can’t disapline a child without feeling unbelievable shame and guilt. From there they told me since the biting happened I will no longer be able to run my own room and I was very discouraged about myself and it spiraled into I am not a strong enough person and I am a bad person or I am going to turn into anbad person if I displine and I began hyperventilating and almost passed out. I know disaplining doesn’t mean being mean but my mind says I am an awful person if I do or if I don’t do something perfect at my job then it says I am terrible. I am worried I will be fired and this is my first real job. I have been beating myself up over it a lot. However I feel like I can’t change it without unbelievable anxiety coming with it. I love kids but I want to do what’s best it is so hard with anxiety thoughts I am not for sure what to do thank you!! I was wondering if anyone happen to have advice? I spiraled into I got the wrong job and I shouldn’t be working with kids even though I love it and one of my favorite things in the world! Thank you! 😊 Ehat do I do in this situation? Then I got into trouble for not being an adult and had very bad anxiety about that what all do I do? Thank you!!

Is it possible for OCD to start playing with your feelings? Because I'm so sure about it, but sometimes it feels like it doesn't even when I don't feel anything. And I'm feeling so empty. Like it's okay to feel when it's not. I don't want to feel this. But I feel so weak to deal with it. Is this normal? I'm feeling weird. Everything kind of hurts but at the same time it doesn't.

I find that the intrusive thoughts that hurt me the most are the quiet ones. The ones that, at a glance, can be hard to differentiate from your own thoughts. The louder thoughts are easy to diffuse, to say "maybe, maybe not" to but the quiet ones leave me ruminating for hours trying to figure out if they're mine or OCD's. They leave me feeling disconnected from those around me and even from myself. I can go from happily thinking about marrying my boyfriend in the future to feeling like I have never actually loved him in a matter of minutes all because a thought was a whisper rather than a scream. This is my first post and I'm not sure what I'm looking for in making it. Advice? To know I'm not alone? I guess if there's anything you feel the need to share I'd love to hear it.