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working to conquer OCD
I'm wondering... if the mechanism repeats itself with other themes then it can't be OCD, right? Mainly because once you figure out the mechanism, things go back to normal. Is this a sign or maybe I'm just fooling myself?
I have a bunch of real event/false memory and there is one that I remember I got in the middle of a horrible episode and I believed it was false but now I can’t remember why I thought it was false and now believe it could be real and it’s just bothering me so much because I want to remember the details to why I believed it was false in the first place and I’m just in a horrible spot and feel disgusting and am getting intrusive thoughts on my themes when I try to check if they are intrusive or not and I can’t function like i don’t wanna be around anyone because all I want to do is confess but I can’t because then I’ll obsess on confessing and they won’t understand.
I feel like I’m crazy like I’m so unstable that I don’t deserve anything good in life. That I don’t deserve my bf because I’m too emotional and unwell that he deserves someone who is better than me and who can control their thoughts. I can’t control myself. I’m scared I’ll lose complete control and hurt myself. I’m scared these thoughts will never go away(I know they will) but they won’t leave. I will feel better for 20 mins and then I actually start crying uncontrollably. It’s 1am and I actually cannot help myself I have no idea what to do I just feel so crazy and hopeless. I want someone to hug me and tell me I’ll be okay but no one is with me. I’m alone in a dark room with my orange cat. My bf is in another city rn and I’m having intrusive thoughts about him too. I wish he was here but he’s not coming back until next weekend omg :(
Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw I Have to go down stairs into the basement sometimes … I’m also disabled and can’t walk on my own so l scoot down on my butt which is fine right ?? I’ve been doing it for years with no problems.. but within the last couple of years I’ve developed a fear of going down the stairs ( I still do when I need to ) but I panic i hyperventilate , I cry … I’ve gotten alot better at not over reacting as times went on but I still panic that I’m going to fall .. I’ve got it in my head that I’m going to accidentally let go of the rail or twist my foot the wrong way … accidentally fall and di# of a brain bleed or di* instantly on impact … I know I need to sit with the fact of maybe it will happen or maybe it won’t but it upsets me so much I panic even thinking about going down stairs .. or basically any type and not to reassure myself but it’s not like I’m going to know if I di* and seeing that bob saget potentially di*d of a brain bleed doesn’t make the situation any easier
Just feeling down. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and sad about trauma I went through, also about mistakes I’ve made. I just feel so sad and I want to cry. I just want to talk to God so bad.. or my younger self. I have so many questions:( .. I don’t want to victimize myself, but it hurts. Nobody talks about how gross and disgusting you feel after going through seggsual trauma as a kid, and how it messes up your brain sortve .. I will make something of myself no matter what. I think I will just light some sage and rest.. this isn’t the end. I love this world, it’s such a blessing to be here. No matter the good or bad.. I just need to keep that in mind
Today my mom broke down crying because of how much stress she feels having to take care of me, she said I can’t do anything in terms of being able to take care of myself and she’s right I can’t, she breaks down constantly because of me, I don’t know what to do, it’s been like this for years, part of me feels like the only way to save her is to kill myself, I don’t want to die, but it feels like the only way to set her free, I don’t think anyone but her would miss me anyways, I feel utterly hopeless. I’m not going to do anything to myself the voices are just SCREAMING that I need to. I can’t work, I can’t go to school, I’m trying desperately to get therapy, I don’t know what else to do, I wish I was a child again and I felt like I had a chance to be okay. I love my mom so much and she loves me and I’m killing her, I’m actually killing her, with how fuckinh worthless and pathetic I am, it’s too much, I miss being a kid.
does anyone else with this theme hate to be alone?? i deadass get panic attacks when i’m left alone and i sit and watch the time until whoever is coming back because im so scared. i get scared that when im alone im going to lose control and act on my thoughts. my mind goes “oh your alone now nobody would know” or “your alone so you won’t feel guilt”. i hate this so much and as much as i try to deal with it i feel it never gets better. it doesn’t help that i have agoraphobia now either. i need tips!
I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/
Am I the only one who experiences this, or is it more common than I think? Sometimes, I find myself imagining what a couple’s sex life might look like, or what a person’s body might be like. I think it’s driven by curiosity, and I focus on it for a few seconds. When it comes to family members, teenagers, or anyone I feel uncomfortable imagining in this way, I used to be able to shake it off as an intrusive thought. But lately, I can’t seem to let go of it anymore. I’ve become used to the anxiety, but I’m stuck questioning what this means about me, especially since I’ve taken time to think about it. This is really stressing me out because I feel like a pervert. I’m hoping that this is something more common than I realize and that OCD is just distorting something. I feel like I really need some insight here. Any advice?
Im so scared i wish my brain would send me in to derealisation, im 13 years old and my OCD honestly gives me the most disgusting thoughts I can’t take it anymore my head turns everything into a sexual thought and I can’t even look at my own mom anymore because of them they are really and honestly the most messed up thoughts I could ever think of and I’m so scared idk what to do, I’m on Prozac and going to start ERP soon but I’m still so insanely scared I have lost myself, I’m only just been diagnosed with ocd and don’t know everything abt it but just keep on panicking about everything😭😞😢
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
Can someone please tell me at what point did you finally accept that it’s OCD? When did the ERP click for you? When did you just stop buying into the lies of OCD and finally let go? Like what does it take. It’s been 2 years of this for me and I’m in ERP currently and it’s just not clicking 😣 is it just me???
I’m anxious about HIV. What if I get it? That’s a scary thought to me. And then I’m scared/worried about giving it to others, not knowing if I have it, etc.
I’m working with a new psychiatrist for medication. She suggested both prozac or luvox. wondering what has worked for people or any suggestions
Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty
So this is not a very major thing at all, but it's something that came up yesterday and I couldn't sleep because of it. I'm a big fan of this video game, it's called Xenoblade Chronicles X. Well, after 10 years, it's finally getting a re-release on modern platforms. It's super exciting. From the clips I've seen, it seems to be a very faithful remaster that improves upon the imperfections of the original. However, what my brain is stressed about is that they sort of changed the user interface/font style of the game in order to make it more legible and less crowded. They also revamped some of the character models too. Not a bad thing at all, but I was such a big fan of the old user interface that all the new changes are stressing me out. It's making me want to purchase old hardware just so I can replay the original instead of the re release So all day I've been looking at side-by-side comparisons and getting disappointed by the new one. Which sucks because there is objectively nothing wrong with it! All of my dreams last night were about the game and I wasn't able to get proper sleep. So is this perfectionism OCD or is this an aftereffect of my other subtypes or am I just being extra nitpicky?
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
I haven't posted in a while. But I have been so worried so I thought I would write here. I am so worried about Schizophrenia and I feel so guilty about it. I have so so much respect for people who deal with the condition and worrying about getting it myself makes me feel like an awful person. It just takes so much out of me. I would love to know some helpful tips to get me through this if anyone else has been dealing with this worry.
I live in my parents’ house and they are currently redoing the roof and the insulation in the attic. My parents’ house is at least 50 years old. The only way into the attic is through my room. I knew I would have to relocate but now I feel like my room is contaminated and can just never been clean. I feel like everything needs to be thrown away that was exposed to the old insulation or touched by the workers. No matter what I do I just will always think that my room is dirty. Does anyone know how to push past getting stuck with these thoughts? Or dealing with people making you feel worse because they don’t understand?
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OCD doesn't have to
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