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This anxiety is killing me lol. I just want peace inside my mind

So I’m so bored lately I have everything I want and could ask for but I’m a dopamine junkie so I jump from item to item and I’m still bored and I have “toys “ stay with me I’ll explain … so I have actual toys like dolls and stuffed animals because I still enjoy younger things at times … yep I’m still an adult … but that being said I won’t “play “ or interact with younger toys because I feel it’s not age appropriate and I want to fit in with society’s norms … that being said I have a Xbox s I have a Nintendo switch … a legion go hand held system … a portable dvd player and I’m sure other things I can’t remember… no I don’t act like a spoiled brat and want or need for everything and I’m very grateful…. But that being said out of all the things I have nothing really keeps my attention I just impulse buy them… I obsess about buying them for months I buy them and use them for a little bit and get bored …… then I feel ungrateful for not using an expensive item or gift.:. Go back and use that item and then the cycle repeats … I just can’t find anything that truly keeps me entertained and engaged … and keeps me wanting to fool with it every day or interact with it …. I want to find something that gives me a sense of accomplishment and excitement… and game systems and whatever else just don’t do that for me … like I said I promise I’m not a spoiled adult /brat ❤️

Cranial osteopathy was one I tried, that worked alongside a specific meditation that I will not share for safety reasons. That brought up memories of events that were the birth of some of my compulsions, fears and behaviours. It mainly targeted the traumas in my life in which my ocd is comorbid. Next on my list to try is reiki, to see if that has any effect in calming me down or grounding me. I'll respond with results next week. 3rd is hypnotherapy which I'm excited to start as it's something I wish to go into. I want to experience it first hand before I consider investing in an education on it. 4th is neurofeedback therapy which looks really promising with all the stuff I've seen. I think there may be a real good combination of things in which we can rewire our brain and body. I feel so excited about this, that I don't know where to start 😅🤯

I have been told that what I have is OCD, but sometimes I doubt it and scare myself and say what if it’s not, what if it’s actually a curse, what if I have to do what my brain wants me to do? I’m scared and I think my period is affecting me really bad.

i didn't get a response so i'm reposting, i'd really like another persons perspective... idk if what i write will make sense but i am scared of my ability to prolong and intensify / increase the vividness of the physical and mental feelings and thoughts i am experiencing to the point i think since i am doing something willingly that feels so horrific it makes me a bad person who did actually something bad. especially when this has to do with sxual thoughts that i absolutely despise. idk if it's a compulsion but it almost feels unavoidable (is it a compulsion?) let me explain like once my brain feels/knows i'm extra scared to imagine and feel something i get this anticipatory anxiety that just won't leave me alone until i undergo / get through what feels like the most disturbing, vivid level of my own thoughts and feelings and i can control that to a degree where i hyperfixate on my sensations and thoughts and it plays out and prolongs which feels so awful and real and then i'm like hold up i really just did that intentionally i feel traumatized and so grossed out. esp if i hold my breath for some reason i noticed my bodily feelings and mental images are more vivid and i feel so guilty for it. i've done so many exposures and i can't get over this fear of my own ability to purposefully be able to think really hard and manipulate the intensity of my most darkest thoughts that it disturbingly impacts both my body and mind, physical and mental reactions. is this common? is it a compulsion? what am i doing wrong and what should i do.

I would love some advice. I recently graduated from college in December, I will be attending law school in August of this year. There is an eight month gap for me to fill. I cling to things I know I can control like grades/work, focusing on them gives me comfort and takes away from the stress of things I can’t control. Right now I have no classes or job, i’m trying really hard to find a job for the time being, but i’ve been out of luck so far. This has left my mind is a constant search for control and reassurance. I’m beginning to over calculate every word I say and thing I do, it’s become exhausting. I’ve been calling out my Girlfriend for pulling away and not wanting me, when in reality she is just busier than me. I’m constantly looking for reassurance from her and if I don’t get it to the degree my mind manufactured, then I start a fight. I know the simple answer to my issue is getting a job, and i’m trying so hard to, but in the meantime, how can I keep my head on straight?

I have unhelpful habits that I hate having in life, and being left on read and deleting messages is one of them. In the past, I've had experiences where I would try to add something to a conversation and nothing but dead air added to it. No one would say anything and they would just act like nothing was said at all. It was really weird and it sort of taught me in my head that I shouldn't speak my mind about the things I want to with others. It's happened a lot lot less as an adult and it only really happens when someone has the attention of one person 1 on 1, but it happens quite a bit when texting people. Someone at the time, who was my crush just didn't say a whole lot in return when I tried reaching out to her, which at the time made me feel like she didn't really care to have time to talk to me. And while that's probably not true, sometimes, there are just people that might not want to talk to me all that much. I feel this way about other people I don't really know but it's only because I really don't know them all that well. When I do get to know them or get close to them by hanging out with them enough times, that goes away pretty quickly and consistently. But with some other people, it doesn't go away and it makes things awkward. I totally understand that people are busy and that they just may want to do other things, and I'm not putting any fault on them at all. If things don't really get anywhere, they don't get anywhere. I'll just stop trying and move on to someone else. But it doesn't get rid of those unhelpful feelings and beliefs as easily. I hate that I still hang onto false beliefs like this and they don't really go away deep down

My boyfriend and I started dating a little over a month ago. We’ve now started discussing the next step in our relationship: intimacy. It feels quick, but we’ve known each other well over a year and we were really close friends before dating. I don’t feel ready for sex yet but we’ve started with baby steps. While kissing, my mind started to wander and he started kissing my chest (he asked first, I gave consent, and I was comfortable with him), but frankly I was bored. There were parts that were good and parts that could use some work. I didn’t tell him what felt good and what didn’t like I should have and when he asked my mind went blank. The other night he came over for dinner and we began to talk about it. He started crying and saying how he didn’t want to disappoint me. I felt so shut down because I felt like I was the one in a vulnerable situation and I was the one that wanted to talk but there I was, taking care of him. I ended up communicating what I wanted and I appreciated that he cared enough to ask and listen but at the same time he didn’t really listen because he was caught up in his own emotions. All day long I cannot get it off my mind, seriously. I looked down midway through the day to see I had dug my fingernails into the pad of my pointer finger to the point where there was a deep mark. I have felt extremely anxious and like an awful girlfriend. I do not want to have sex with him if the thought of not doing well kissing my chest upsets him to the point of tears. I just felt bad for not enjoying myself and not telling him that, but I got frustrated that he almost… victimized himself? I feel like I’m manipulating him someway and I just don’t know how. I also feel bad for not being attracted to what he was doing and I’m scared it will lead to losing all attraction. Please help, am I awful for feeling frustrated that he cried?

hey, so i’ve had these insane thoughts about like, this dude. and i assumed it’s intrusive feelings, but it also has happened w the fact o think i like girls? but i don’t? like, i get the gronal response, and everything, and like, it sometimes feels like i actually like them, but it always makes me sick? same way w the false attraction guy, and it even started happening w my bsf of like 9 years? and it’ll tell me the most insane things like “maybe u are attracted” “maybe if u got w them the thoughts will stop” someone please help.

I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically im thinking of starting therapy but im scared it wont do anything or God will get upset with me that I couldn’t do it with just him i got put back on pills and im gonna end up going back to therapy i get afraid of death and other things now idk I just don’t wanna upset god

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. I tend to ruminate on mistakes I’ve made or things I’ve said, I often find myself trying to convince myself I’m not everything my ocd tries to convince me I am. I can’t control my thoughts half the time and it’s exhausting. I’ve laid awake night after night researching various diseases and illnesses trying to convince myself I’m not dying I don’t know where my ocd begins and ends at this point. I think I’ve always had a tendency to over think but the health ocd started more recently. I was diagnosed with nerve damage in my face and arthritis and I think that sparked something in me that makes my mind wonder to no end what else is wrong. Recently I’ve been struggling with the feelings of not being enough or being too much, I’ve been looking back at things I’ve done and said in the past and wonder why people put up with my shit and then I spiral into the inevitable chaos of my overthinking. I’m trying really hard to learn how to control it but I’m sure everyone here can attest as to how painful and aggravating that can be. I just needed to vent.

Just sorta to vent and maybe get advice… I normally struggle with OCD and other MH/ medical issues.. I’ve sorta become acclimated to the stress, pain, mind games, and constant perfectionism. I thought I had it under control but this OCD has just been creeping back in small ways over time. I’ve caught myself doing behaviors and not feeling able to stop it. (This is combo of OCD but not sure how to categorize it all) - compulsively counting body movements til it’s the right number and feeling - adjusting papers/rewritten notes numerous times - irrational thoughts of my new pup being dead when I check on her - irrational thoughts that I don’t love my partner or he doesn’t love me after almost 10 years - every plate, cup, utensil has to be properly inspected before being able to use it - food can not have day of expiration (or even close to it) or a weird look or smell = it is inedible - recent close call accident led to dread driving and constant thoughts of a crash even though I did what I could and didn’t crash The list just keeps going.. but it has simply been a struggle that has lead me to feeling self conscious, unprofessional, childish, ashamed, and crazy. It’s a hard thing to accept that this has begun to return after finding ways to cope and manage in the past. I am struggling with finding ways to cope with it all cuz it is constantly disturbing my relationship, work, and personal well being Well that’s my truth for the day

I was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri and have lived in New York since 2008. I live with my wife and son and daughter (ages 3 years old and 6 months). I enjoy following sports, politics, reading, and studying Talmud and other Jewish texts. I love the idea of getting to know a person and helping them find their strengths and then working with them on utilizing those strengths to overcome their challenges and achieve what they want to achieve. I myself was diagnosed with OCD when I was a senior in high school. Thank G-d, through a combination of therapy, hard work, and medication, I have been able to make tremendous progress in overcoming my OCD and taking my life back. I love the idea of being able to help other people on their journey towards freedom from OCD. I have a good sense of humor which I employ during sessions and I am a good listener. What you are going through is extremely challenging, and unfortunately, largely misunderstood by the general population. However, there are many wonderful therapists who truly understand how debilitating this mental illness is and who are qualified to help. Overcoming this is possible! I'd love to chat with you. Drop me your questions or share your experiences below, and I'll be sure to respond to each and every comment!

So I get sexual images of this guy doing sexual things to me and the way he looks turns me on and my mind keeps on telling me that I want to have sex with him instead of my boyfriend. Whenever I try to think of my boyfriend in a sexual way, my mind has me think about the guy instead, and whenever I kiss or do anything sexual with my boyfriend, then I get aroused because I imagine it to be the guy instead of my boyfriend that I’m doing sexual things with. I’m just so confused and curious at the same time. I have a very high sex drive and I’m always aroused by thinking of this one guy. Could this mean that I don’t want my boyfriend and that I want him instead? If so, I don’t want that to be true. I don’t want to think of this guy sexually, but it just happens and it feels natural to me. Like I feel like I crave sex with this guy instead of my boyfriend.

i’ve never been officially diagnosed with OCD but my dads a doctor and he said i probably have it. it started with the contamination and then i had to start opening doors with my feet because of the germs, the contamination is better now but whenever topics are mentioned that make me feel uncomfortable i have to “spit on my hands to make them feel clean” which is the complete opposite. also my brain will tell me i have feelings for people when i really don’t and actually like someone else. i have no idea what to do but i don’t want to ask my parents for therapy

I’m not too sure where to begin so some stuff may be a bit scattered. I’d like to start with the fact that I’m not sure if I just have anxiety or if it is actually OCD. I’ve been dealing with these intrusive thoughts for as long as I can remember. TRIGGER WARNING NEXT PARAGRAPH Stuff like “what if my teacher just raped me in the middle of class” or “what if I pulled all my veins at.” Those are some of the more graphic and violent things but I do get lesser things like “what if I imagined that whole conversation” when I know for a fact I did experience that exact memory/conversation. I don’t like these thoughts and I don’t ever want to think them. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I’m only 16 and I want to be sure about this stuff before I ask my parents to get me diagnosed.

Recently she has told me she will be calling a lot less and stuff, this bothers me because well I’m scared, as I’m writing this I sent messages from 1pm to 7pm and tried calling her, no reply or anything, as a man it’s not good to be left alone with my mind, I’ve had “those” thoughts because of everything else going on, I told her how I felt and she said she’s sorry but she’s uncomfortable calling a lot, granted I’ve been doing good not calling her but when I really need her or call her she doesn’t pick up, this entire situation has screwed me up, it doesn’t help I have a overthinking problem, I’m scared to lose her, I’m scared to share my feelings fully without it being a burden or emotionally wearing her down, well that’s life, god do I hate it.

I feel awful. I feel like I’ve received a test from God and failed. I got a groinal response while looking through instagram and saw a picture of a kid. I turned my screen off and laid in bed and I tried to recreate the feeling. I twitched my hips a bit, trying to see if it was real arousal, but now I feel like I don’t deserve to feel better and I’m convinced I am going to hell and will burn for what I’ve done. There was no joy or true desire there, but still, what kind of person does that? I thought OCD meant avoid avoid avoid, that’s not what I did. I don’t feel like a can wait another whole day before my session. Has any else had a similar experience? How do you forgive yourself and keep going when you feel like this?

i seek for reassurance a lot. it’s like a always need certainty. how do i stop.

I feel so numb. I’m having awful intrusive thoughts TERRIBLE and I don’t care. I’m even replying to them in a way that concerns me honestly, it doesn’t feel like intentional sarcasm. It feels like I genuinely don’t have morals right now and even saying that, barely care. I’m so irritated by everything. I feel anger and just closed off. I’m so tired, I just want to zone out. I feel so UGH.