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I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?

No matter what task I’m doing. If I have an intrusive thought I have to redo the task or just just completely move on to something else. I’m Christian and I struggle with scrupulosity. I feel like I have to repeat task to keep everyone safe. I’m tired of this. I know ERP is the key and I have to stand up to the thoughts but they are just so scary. I know God is with me and I’m suppose to have faith but again I’m just so scared. I can’t even fully go into detail about my theme because I don’t want to type it out. I’m in therapy and I’m told to lean into the discomfort but it just seems like an impossible thing for me to do.

Not gonna lie, I am in fact feeling a little bit melancholy at the moment, and it’ll pass, and it’s probably because i didn’t get enough sleep. But here’s the thing, there’s been a ton of changes in my life recently, and a lot of upheaval, and it’s been a very difficult time. It’s part OCD, part current events, part changes in my life. I graduated college, so I lost my classes and counseling there (and I still have NOCD, and my therapist is wonderful, and I could not have gotten through this OCD episode without her, but my counselor at my college helped me through some more of the general stuff in my life, and she was wonderful and she really supported me). I had to leave my part-time job I worked at for three years, and I’m still searching for one. My OCD spiked really bad over these last few months, my mental health plummeted, and it hasn’t been helped at all by the horrible winter weather where I live. Because the weather has been so bad and I live with my family in an isolated rural area, I haven’t been able to go to any social groups, even though they said alumni can still attend. It’s hard leaving the house because the weather seems to change on a dime, so I’m stuck inside more often than not. On top of that, there’s everything that’s happening around the world right now. I genuinely don’t know what’s going to happen. I have not felt like myself in months. A big part of that is the OCD, which i really don’t think would have been as bad if it weren’t for all of these huge changes happening all at once, leaving me isolated and stuck inside. My self-esteem has been absolutely shattered. There are video games I love and want to finish that I haven’t been able to bring myself to play because I worry that if I play them while I’m still going through OCD episodes, I’ll always associate them with the anxiety and thoughts and fears, and then I’ll never be able to play them again. I love writing, and before my OCD came back, I had a story I was working on that I adored and that made me so happy, but right now, I hesitate to write anything for it because I just feel this strange sense of guilt that I don’t know how to put into words. Like I’m not worthy or good enough to write anything for it, I guess? Like I wrote all that stuff when I felt like a good person and my self-esteem was better, and because of my OCD making me feel like a horrible person, I can’t bring myself to write anything for it. There are movies I loved to watch over my last semester at college that I don’t want to watch because I guess I don’t want to ruin my last memory of them. I don’t want to look back on the last time I watched a movie I loved and remember that I watched it while I was anxious and fighting off the OCD. There are songs I can’t bring myself to listen to because I listened to them before major changes in my life. And the thing is, all of these things are still there. None of these things suddenly stopped existing. They’re still there when I want to get back to them, but I don’t feel the same as I was when I was doing these things, and it’s hard to bring myself to, when I almost feel like I’m intruding, or ruining the last memory I had of those things. I guess it’s just hard to see that this difficult part of my life does have an end to it and that things will improve, and i’ll feel like myself again. It just feels like my life will always be separated before the most recent OCD episode, and after, and that’s not what I want. And I can’t go back to my last semester at college, but I also don’t want to lose or throw away everything I used to love. Part of this could very well be nostalgia. I just miss who I used to be. I miss feeling like I was a good person who deserved nice things, I miss writing stories I love, I miss having classes and social events and a job and income. I miss my mind being safe to exist in. I miss not wishing I was anyone else. All of this might be easier to deal with except that all of this happening at the same time has left me at absolute rock bottom. I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense or if anyone has any thoughts? I think writing it all down helped a little, though. If you made it this far, thank you for reading 😊❤️ I hope whatever you’re going through gets better, and that you have a great day/night.

So recently i had really obsessive thoughts about something and once i got over it i kept bringing back more stuff to make myself feel like a bad person. Why am i doing this? Why do i need to look for something else to burden someone with once they have forgiven me

Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I don’t want to feel this way going into March, I’ve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause I’m so overwhelmed by all the extra things I’ve added cause I thought it was contaminated. It’s completely draining me to the point where I’ve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to me…I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasn’t doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)

I started my journey about 6 months ago. I was a mess. Couldn’t sleep, could barely eat, and was constantly having to do compulsions. I tried a few different meds before I got on Prozac and stayed consistent with self improvement through therapy. I’m now to the point where I’m happy healthy and able to live my life the way I want to live. Not the way ocd wants me to. One of the main reasons I’m even making this post is to let you know that YOU CAN DO IT TOO. It wasn’t easy and I’m still progressing everyday but I’m at the point where I’m seeing extreme improvement and want others to understand they’re just as capable. Thanks for reading, much love and stay strong.

Hi all! I am on Zoloft 100mg and I was hoping to get some feedback! My biggest fear is being suicidal and sometimes I’m like checking to see if I am suicidal on the medication but then I think maybe it’s my ocd. My doctor wants to go higher but I’m wondering if this is a good idea based on my thoughts. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

I have a question is it selfish for me to want to move out of my parents house in 2027? For reference I graduate fall 2026 of next year and I live out of state for college. I know graduation is close but I want to stay in my college state because I am used to living here and my home environment at home is toxic. My boyfriend lives in my home state and he wants to stay with his parents and pay bills ( higher than an apartment). His home is also toxic but he chooses to stay there even after he graduates this semester. We got into an argument today because he doesn’t want to move here with me and work down here I told him it’s a better place than where we live but he refuses. He would also be more happy mentally but he doesn’t want to. He feels like me wanting to live down here is a bad thing because I’m trying to independent without any help which is not the case. I also don’t like that he lives at home because he feels obligated to pay for things because it’s his parents but his mom uses him for money. And he’s brainwashed by her because she said to him stay with me as long as you want to and don’t move out because it’s expensive and also because she needs him. They have a trauma bond that I feel like I could never amount to. I just feel like when I graduate I might have to break up with him because he doesn’t have a future for himself outside being at home and driving his mom everywhere and working to pay the bills in the house and not having money saved for us. Can someone please help me? Am I being to harsh on him? For reference I am 19 about to be 20 and I have money saved enough for my own apartment but the only reason I haven’t moved out yet is because I want to finish my degree and have a stable job and I am also building up my credit at the moment ever since I was 17.

tw// 18+ please help Mention of self intimacy ok so during self intimacy time, there’s this memory of when I was intimate with a friend of mine. I get off / fantasize about it but what makes me feel weird is it happened when me and the other person was a child. i obviously do not try to picture children and sometimes there’s no faces or it’s the face of how the person looks now. but then it makes me feel weird since the memory we were both children at the time. and then sometimes images of how they look as a child come in my head and my brain is like “do you like that or are u attracted to that” but i end up just like cringing or shaking my head and continue thinking about it how i originally was. idk if it’s wrong to fantasize about that since we were both children. ive fantasized about this memory multiple times without issue but it seems to be an issue now.

I met my boyfriend unexpectedly. Obviously you don’t become boyfriend and girlfriend the day you meet . It takes time to get to know eachother and then you become that . But before I met him I had a little fling with someone & I continued to still talk to him and hangout with him until me and my boyfriend now got serious . Is that wrong ? Am I a cheater ? I cut off the other guy like a week into me and the new boyfriend getting to know eachother . But even when I cut the guy off my boyfriend was still out here flirting and hanging with other girls until we became serious . Which I don’t care about anymore . But does that make me a cheater ?

Or thought-stopping, or suppression. I'm new-ish to OCD treatment and recovery, and I understand and believe that I'm living with this condition, but I still don't *get* it sometimes. I don't immediately click with what other people are describing. For example, when my therapist suggests using mindfulness techniques like naming something in my environment for each sense (something I see in this room, something I hear in this moment, etc), I'm thinking, "is this thought-stopping?" because I'm using the technique to get out of an obsessive spiral and redirecting my attention outward. Isn't that a good thing? Is it thought-suppression *every* time I try to change the subject in my mind? How would you describe "thought neutralizing" mental compulsions to someone who doesn't get it? (ie me lol)

I got a virus, alot of people is sick now, this is another bog virus, i dont know the name, but i talked someone who told me that its normal that this virus attacks your nervous system, and brings up the things we are the most sensitive. I wrote a post before that i had really scary thoughts about maybe i will die tomorrow or i can die anyday, i feel like thats was a sign of that cause now im finding myself being so sensitive about this and also im afraid of depression, suicidal thoughts and feeling hopeless. The biggest problem is that i dont know how to label them,if i say maybe im actually dealing with depression, and i need to work on these dark thoughts then i feel anxious and freak out that im having depression and deep thoughts and then feel shame cause i use fear to hide from a problem which i should take seriously, but if i say its not true, i feel like im lying and not working on my mental health... but these dark hopeless feelings feel so real and the thoughts too, and i know this sounds really ocdish cause everyone says this, but it doesnt feel like the ocd symptoms i have. It seems like ocd is more about me not accepting that im depressed or feeling hopeless which makes me feel guilt more cause that sounds like i just dont want to accept that im actually depressed. Im really afraid that these thoughts and feeling means i have an actual problem, and im actually going through depression. My ocd can be about depression too but i heard from someone that many people with ocd doesnt want to accept that they are depressed and thats the problem, so this makes me feel bad that i have to accept that this is an actual problem. Also with grief, i have a fear over grief cause i think i cant deal with it, and i always has thoughts like "you didnt grieved well" and it makes me really sad and afraid that i will never get out of grief... Whatever i do i feel stuck cause if i accept im going through depression and these thoughts are something i need to work on i just feel worse... I dont know what should i do about this, view it as something i need to work on or its just ocd and the illness getting me where im the most sensitive...

what is the obsessive thought to “kill mom” around still. It was here for a month then went away for a few months. Now it’s back and feels like it’s not going away.

Who else has this?

Need to talk?

I was watching a video and the guy is talking about OCD in general. He says you are supposed to say “I guess it will happen” when you have an OCD fear or intrusive thought. But my thing is if my brain is telling me I have to be on guard or else I will be a danger to children I’m just not sure how I can say “I guess it will happen”. Does anybody have any thoughts on this?

I used to write everything that happened with me on daily basis. It can be any type of information like about my conversation with friends or family or what I eat, what someone did to me, bad experiences but I was doing It excessively. I used to write everything to conserve every type of memory which doesn't Even important for me. Like I couldn't resist my self to write about all bus journeys or all restaurants that I have been. But about 2 months ago I destroyed my notes and my anxiety skyrocketed for 1 week. I couldn't even move from my bed due to thoughts that came in my mind. But after talking with my friends my anxiety decreased for somedays but again many thoughts around this revolved in my head. Like will I remember what I'm doing in college life in future, will I remember my memories with my parents or grandmother or will I remember about all my experiences that I have experienced from childhood like my trips etc. I know that it doesn't sound that serious but it is affecting me very severely. I am not able to enjoy my life due to these thoughts and most of the time I feel sad and depressed. Can anyone help me about this?

Im basically still a child, but have been an adult in the eyes of the government for 2 years. Then I made my grand escape away from home, broke but determined to be set free for the hell I was living. I’ve talked about it on another post but I’m a survivor of childhood s*xual assault. I’m too scared to cut my family off 100% because of like Stockholm syndrome I guess? But whenever I interact with them, good or bad, I find my ocd flare ups to be way more often. Like the intrusive thoughts that haunt me about sex and about my relationships consume me when I think of talk to my family. Is anyone here no contact with their family? How did you work through this. WAITTTTTT!!! Please take this capybara eating a watermelon on a stick for your travels.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I wake up early with severe, severe anxiety and nothing seems to help. I try embracing the anxiety, breathing, and exercising. But these things only seem to help a little. Fortunately, I do think the length of the attacks are getting shorter (mainly because I'm still trying my best to live normally in spite of them), but they are still lasting a good 5-6 hours. They are quite debilitating. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with these? I've read much about potential solutions (being okay with the anxiety), but I was looking for some personal antecdotes. Thank you

anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!