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Ever just feel like a big burden to everyone?

Terrified of aggressive homeless right by my apartment 4 times already this week I have been continuously stalked, verbally threaten, and shown the middle finger. These 2 homeless people stay everyday at a nearby park just 1 minute from my apartment and loiter around on either sidewalk beside my building and surrounding residential neighborhood. I have filed police reports and been told to avoid the area but I live in this area so l am always encountering these terrifying people. They definitely know my appearance and dog So l am change my clothes and dog haircut I am terrified stepping outside my home and returning to it . I've informed my property manager as well. And I do have pepper spray and a taser but just freeze up and afraid to use it confidently Fear I could be looking like the assailant on these "defenseless homeless" ?? I've even asked the local homeless outreach to intervene and get these individuals help. How can I feel safe again? I am obsessing they will physically assault me given the verbal threats they will hurt me. Paranoid they know my every movements, when I leave home , trying to walk a different route and a different time and when I go home. Constant looking at my surrounds and behind my shoulder. Trying to stay close to groups of families, well lit area, restaurants Overall have not had such horrible encounters in this neighborhood until now (edited)

Currently having an anxious night because my hormones are doing whatever they want before my cycle starts. It's so frustrating. I feel very, very on edge and like I'm constantly anxious about something bad happening. Also been nauseous and having sleep issues. So irritating. How does everyone else deal with the spike in anxiety and OCD before periods? I'm seeing an endocrinologist on Monday to try and help but I feel so stressed out.

I felt really overwhelmed with my thoughts and just so over it. I had my breathing controlled normally. It’s just so fucking annoying and frustrating that a normal thing like breathing is a hassle and something that I’m scared to do on a day to day basis recently. I had it controlled. I just wanna know if there’s people out there with a similar problem or something. I have this thing, this problem with a feeling of my thoughts coming out of my breath when I breathe I can’t breathe normally. It’s annoying and it takes me a couple days to finally catch my breath. I was doing good but then I ran out of my meds and the problem came back I was off my meds for 2 days. I had a breakdown about it today bc the thoughts are so perverse and I just wannabe in a normal situation again and be happy and normal it’s so hard to maintain. I don’t know what’s going on.

Hey everyone. I’m new to this app and have been recently diagnosed with OCD. My symptoms were something I had all my life but only recently took the step to seek therapy. Hoping to share my journey with y’all soon and recover together.

I think it's just anxiety, but I've been experiencing random bouts of anxiety around the evenings, usually around 8pm is when it kicks in. Is there an explanation for this? My head will feel cold and I'll start to feel dizzy and sick. Sometimes I worry it could be my eating habits.

Does anyone else find it hard to let go of an intrusive thought when you can find some irrelevant truth to it that feels relevant? Examples: **“You’re attracted to *insert inappropriate person* (family member/child/animal)”** “But they are pretty/cute/adorable…” **“You think your bf is ugly.”** “Well, his hair did look weird the other day and I’ve taken unflattering photos of him. He *could* be (more fit/better dressed/etc)…” **“What if I actually want bad things to happen to me for attention?”** “Well, I have imagined people comforting me… and sometimes I do not mind when others check in on me.” **“What if I’m actually a bad person deep down?”** “Well, I have made mistakes before… and sometimes I do not immediately feel guilty.” **“What if I secretly want to be with someone else?”** “I have thought about what it would be like to date different people.” **“You wanted (family member/child/anyone else) to find you sexy”** “Well, I don’t want to be seen as ugly, and a compliment is flattering.” —— It’s such a skillful distortion at times that I don’t even realize things are twisted, and I genuinely believe the thought, causing me to panic so intensely. Only later, I look back and have small epiphanies where I realize it wasn’t at all what I thought. Anyone else?

I can’t feel happy I can’t forget how these thoughts felt and I’m actually believing I’m bad, I imagined my intrusive thoughts about stabbing on purpose it felt like I know how it feels to do that physical action and I like how it feels and then I got this feeling like I was suddenly really happy or excited about it like I discovered why evil people get a thrill out of doing evil things and it’s sticking with me I can’t forget about it or argue with it or get rid of it normally I can find reasons to know it’s not true and forget about it but this time it felt like the feeling actually came from me as if I genuinely felt happy and thought it would be enjoyable or pleasurable/appealing to do that evil thing it doesn’t feel ego dystonic i feel abnormal like im pretending to be normal I don’t even have much anxiety I just hate my life im having this i don’t know what to do unless I can find a reason to move on and think no that wasn’t real then I can’t move on everytime I rember how it felt or that feeling of being happy it feels like oh my god like I can the saved or helped please I need a solution. If it’s true that I actually felt like that horrible thing could be enjoyable can I be helped? No I can’t that means I’m bad and now I can’t be helped and have to be in a mental home because I swear it felt like it was me who felt happy not a fake feeling and I’m jsut fighting against it because I wasn’t always evil but I swear it feels like I actually liked it and it appealed to me I don’t know how to deal with this

Hi everyone. I haven't posted on here in quite in some time. I'm hesitant to post but I'm battling some things that are compounding onto each other. I've had ocd since 15 I'm 30 now..I feel it's still there but much better than years ago. Currently though I'm really struggling with depression and trauma too. Atleast I believe it's trauma and my psychiatrist saw some indicators. Long story short I was in a relationship with a narcissist and I'm still recovering. I feel my nervous system is still kinda on fight or flight. I've learned that our bodies very much stores trauma. Alongside this I'm pretty critical of my appearance and my self esteem is not so great. I've been putting myself out there more and socializing but I can't shake this feeling of being stuck in an endless loop. It's hard to tell what to tackle. It's difficult for me..I don't know if ocd treatment is for me or more so trauma based therapy. I think there is some overlap..any advice or feedback would be appreciated. A side note I've done ERP in the past and I've been to treatment centers such as mclean. I feel like I need a community because I feel pretty alone but I'm having trouble putting one foot in front of the other.

Hello everyone, forgive my bad English since it is not my native language, I have been suffering from OCD for 6 years now. It started with being afraid of harming my loved ones and soon it escalated. All of this leads us here towards sexual obsessions. I was abused many times when I was a child. I don't know if that had any impact on my sexual issues. so everything lead up to a intrusive tought of what would happend if i touch myself with a picture of your parents" and I ended up paying attention to the intrusive tought and i ended up doing what my intrusive tought told me so i said to me "OCD would make me touch myself for everything i loved so what, i would do it before the anxiety attacks" and I end up in a spiral of having touched myself by several photos of my family members, friends and even my own therapist all wanting to prevent future compulsions and anxiety now I only think about taking my life, I never wanted that to happen I am not a monster who has sexual desire towards my loved ones I fell under my own intrusive thought and the only thing I think about now is taking my life life for what I've done

I am really suffering with health anxiety at the minute I am absolutely PETRIFIED of cancer and Im only 17 its draining the life out of me Ive had a cough / cold for two weeks now and ive felt itchy - Has anyone else ever just felt really itchy Im terrified in case I have cancer Im really really petrified I get so scared of death im really frightened SO frightened Im so so scared of the C. Uts scary

Sorry for the long post but I really need to vent. It’s really not a good period. It hasn’t been for a year now. There have been highs and lows, but the truth is I never addressed my problems, never tried to solve them but just pretended they weren’t there. I reached my lowest point this time last year, my OCD had never been worse, I was extremely burnt-out and couldn’t study anymore. And since then, I haven’t been able to study. Everytime I try I get a panic attack. OCD gets better then it gets worse. I probably have ADHD as well, and my parents probably still believe I’m making it all up. They tell me to “try harder” but I really, really can’t, and I’ve tried. And let’s add to all this all the people who have broken my heart, both exes and friends; and they just go on with their lives like they didn’t break me. I also had to quit my job (where they treated me like crap) and had to listen to them tell me that I’m an egoistic person and other awful things I will not say. Yeah, this last year has been the worst. I have come to the point where I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend everything is fine. I’ve come to the point where I can’t leave the house without having panic attacks and fearing I’m going to die. This Monday I have my first appointment with a therapist. I’m a pessimist person usually but this time I feel hopeful. Maybe because I think it can’t get worse than this.

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts where they feel like they’re secretly toxic to their partner without realizing? So much so that they fear their partner wants to leave them? I’ve been having a bad flare up lately since I switched meds and it truly makes me feel like I’m an awful or toxic partner. I love my boyfriend endlessly and I want to be a great partner for him, I just get scared that I am actually being terrible to them. I used to constantly say sorry but now it’s in my own head most of the time.

Hi everyone!! This is a new kind of theme I’m dealing with. My brain will come up with false memories of my boyfriend saying awful things about my family or me…deep down I know it’s not real. The more I think about it though, the more real these “memories” feel. How do I deal?

I’m a dog walker. I connect with dogs 5 days a week. I get very attached to my clients and their spirits. I see dogs as spirit guides and beautiful, loving animals. This week, I have lost a fur friend with whom I grew a strong bond with. All I can say is that death is sudden and I didn’t get much info about the incident. Just a few texts. I felt like John Wick when he lost his puppy, his little ball of sunshine, during dark times. I’ve been struggling to accept this dog’s death. I cried. Wrote in my journal. Tried to rest and clean. Sadly, I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I keep thinking about how I will never get to see him ever again. Signs of spring are here but I can’t enjoy them because I’m preoccupied with ruminating what could’ve possibly happened to him. I keep thinking how this sweet boy won’t be able to sit in the sun with me or smell the new flowers that are blooming. I get pissed because a week ago I saw him and everything was all fine and dandy. Life was good. Now, I’ll even search online as if I can seek answers to tell me what happened. I know I’m grieving. I just want this to be a bad joke. 😞

Please help. Been with my boyfriend for 15 months. 6 months into our official relationship I found out he kissed someone 1 week before he asked out officially. He told me he loved me at that time and I felt we were exclusive. He apparently did not . He also agreed he would not watch porn and lied once about it. I also have been spinning about the types of women he thinks are attractive and I find disgusting so I sent him pictures for months hoping he would say it looks gross but he didn’t and it killed me. Throughout the relationship I have been spinning about these issues really hard and it damaged my trust for him but I know he’s an amazing great guy I just feel very uneasy. It has been 1 year of me spinning about these issues and other little ones constantly texting him everyday and my friends about them to try to figure things out but I am unhappy . 4 months ago I had a severe breakdown and since I am severely depressed and anxious every day all day with thoughts of is this a wrong relationship , comparing him to other men, wondering if I would be happier with someone else. I have been seeing a therapist seeing a therapist one thinks I have rocd and a psychologist doesn’t . Nothing is helping me and I’m on Zoloft . I broke up with him a month ago and I’m still spinning in circles if I made the right decision or if I left over rocd and overblowing the issues that bothered me . Someone please tell me if you think this is rocd (edited)

Sometimes I find the best way to describe how my mind works is this “the elephant in the room is screaming at you” bc that’s what it feels like. Like there’s an elephant in the room but it’s screaming at you to pay attention to it and attend to it and fix it or figure it out or whatever it is. The elephant is screaming, screaming at you. I just find lately through some experiences it’s helped some people understand what it’s like. It’s truly hard to explain to people who just have thoughts and let them flow through them or don’t have themes that trigger them.

my people in relationships i have a question! i find a lot of like relationship “concepts” that we see online or just within our culture really trigger me. articles, posts, dialogue, friends pretty much anything saying things things like “outgrowing relationships” “you need to date around extensively to find the one” “you’re too young to be in love or settle down” “things my partner does” pretty much anything about advice or just other people’s situations triggers me at times and makes me question a lot!! i know this means i need more confidence in myself which im working on. i’m doing the work to separate my situation from these and i know it’s working because it feels uncomfortable, but i’m wondering if anyone young and in a relationship navigates this. i also feel like this triggering gets worse when im already anxious. recently my partner and i have been having constant spats bc im hesitant to communicate. i feel like im putting pressure on myself bc i really want this to work out to the point where i feel like idk what to do! it’s funny identifying the tricks ocd is playing on me bc i do recognize the irony here but any advice in coping or just experiences helps!!! mwah mwah happy women’s day!!!!

May I speak to someone 20+ preferably about POCD if that's okay, drop your email here if that's okay

18+ i was having intimacy with my lover. i was frustrated and i had a thought like "hurt her physically", i think i Remember not agreeing with it. i didn't hurt my lover they were fine they never felt hurt physically, but im afraid i might have done some action with the intention to hurt them but maybe i wasn't violent enough? idk. i don't remember any action with that intention so that's that. it happened like a couple of hours ago and im afraid i forgot about it. also, i get anxious because sometimes when i have intrusive thoughts i kind of act on it? not as in like doing what the intrusive thoughts tells me, but something similar that is better in a way? like today i had a thought like "grope your lover in public" but instead of doing that i just squeezed their waist. so idk im afraid i might have done something similar here