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I feel so scared and gross and i keep replaying everything in my head for reassurance but everything feels blurry. I just need exact information, exact proof that I didn’t hurt someone.

Basically I had a bad violent intruisve thought and I was scrolling through instagram story and on the chat box underneath my mind made me write it down on the reply box but I didn’t send it I wrote it down then got rid of it liked cleared it now I’m like why did my mind make me write that . ! Now I’m like omg why did I write that will anything happen or am I overthinking?

Dose anyone know uk law quite well or anything like that. Basically I would search up thing on TikTok and whattpad multiple times that now I know was disgusting and I really shouldn’t have but I was like 14, 15 and I didn’t understand at that time . I really didn’t know and I’m scared what I did was illegal without knowing it.i really scared

does it also happen to you that during exposure to erp you can imagine that act and scene in detail, and feel some confused excitement that leaves you stressed because it is hard to believe that it is part of OCD, it seems so real! When i can imagine it in detail and feel it like i can actually get arousel about it.

How can you tell if it’s SOOCD, being in denial or sexual orientation fluid change? I really really hope it’s just SOOCD but I suffer so much from the loss of attraction to opposite gender and severe‘false’ attraction to same gender. It makes me feel sick and want to cry every time I have false attractions. I find it so difficult I feel my entire life has flipped and been destroyed.

My OCD is awful when it comes to intrusive thoughts, and I also have BPD. I’ve never acted on the intrusions in harmful ways before—I’ve always found ways to manage them that are healthy and safe. But I got quite drunk during a psychiatric episode (I wasn’t fully aware I was in one at the time), and I acted on an intrusive thought in a way that wasn’t healthy or very safe. That’s the best way I can put it. I’m so ashamed and overwhelmed with guilt. I didn’t physically harm anyone or anything, but what I did was enough that it’s been eating me alive and has severely heightened my mental state. I’ve tried using my usual coping skills, I reached out to 988 and other crisis lines, I even texted AI chats. But I’m too scared to tell my regular therapist or psychiatrist. I’m currently on a leave of absence from work because I was already in a crisis state, and now I just don’t know what to do. I tried looking for articles or videos from people who’ve acted on intrusive thoughts, but everything says things like “people with OCD never act on them” or “intrusive thoughts are harmless,” and while those can be reassuring in general, I did act on one. Not being able to find any resources or support for this makes me feel even worse. That’s a big reason why I downloaded this app.

I was really anxious before I went to bed last night so I couldn't stop checking my phone because i kept getting scared i was gonna somehow use my phone while asleep and send people horrible messages. Then I managed to fall asleep but then i woke up really early in the morning and just couldn't get to sleep and my mind was racing. And then it somehow unearthed false memories from a few weeks ago. Then I had this thought that "I remember" and it just made me more anxious because I know I didn't do anything but my brain is trying to tell me that I remember. OCD makes no sense sometimes, but it's still scary all the same. I hope that everyone has a good day, or at least a better day than yesterday if you're having a rough time <3

Does anybody else experience OCD while reading? I feel like i need to remember everything in my book. And i have a feel that i need to completely understand EVEYTHING in my book (even very minor things) and if not, i feel as though im cheating or that the minor thing is very significant and that ill want to remember it even way after i finish the book (just for the purpose of knowing EVERYTHING about my book) Also, when a character says some minor things i feel the need to understand it completely or i feel the fear that i didn’t understand what the character actually meant. If youve struggled with this please give tips on how to overcome it

Struggling. My mind/OCD told me I had already abused my child by breathing when they were laying across me and that I might as well do something else to hurt them. I had to think for a second, but the only thing that came to mind was to move my elbow towards their groin area to cause a "feeling". Well I did just that, and I ended up grazing their groinal area and it caused a disgusting unwanted feeling. I IMMEDIATELY wanted to throw up and panicked. I also asked my child to move off of me immediately. It went against my morals, beliefs, and values as an individual and mother. I can't stop thinking about it and it's very debilitating. I didn't enjoy a single moment of it. But my question to you guys is am the monster that I've always been scared of being? Do I belong in the ground? Do I deserve to have a wonderful life and wonderful, perfect child?

This seems overwhelming. Why bother with it?

i think my intrusive thoughts are real. what do i do now man

I keep having a terrible feeling that I am going to die or I need to die. Almost as if my brain is telling me I need to kill myself. It’s hard to tell if I really want to do something like that. I know it’s wrong and I wouldn’t want to leave or upset my family. These feelings send me into an immediate spiral. My body starts having hot flashes and I start shaking pretty bad. I know my body is just reacting to thoughts. Does anyone else experience similar feelings/thoughts like this? I’m absolutely terrified everyday and don’t know what else to do. I recently started Fluvoxamine 50 mg 2 weeks ago and was put back on Abilify 2mg. I started the Abilify 3 days ago. I don’t feel anything as of yet.

I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.

Hey, so this is more of a venting and like talking post. I know weed is different for everyone, but for me personally, it has really changed my life for the better. In the fall semester of school I was at my lowest, I was very stressed, had breakdowns every week, and was going to doctor appointments after doctor appointments bc my stress/anxiety caused me to have heart problems and other problems during that time. I stopped taking care off myself, never had friends or a social life, and my adhd and trauma caused a lot of triggers for me. That was really the time I stopped smoking to focus on school. This semester, I'm doing better than I ever have, I finally got diagnosed with adhd and OCD, and I started smoking more heavily, about maybe 2-3 times a day. Since I've been smoking more, I've seen a huge improvement. My grades are better than last semester, I'm happier, I've been able to think about stuff without worrying or being emotional about it, Im able to let things not go to my head, and its limited both my obsessions and compulsions. Weed along with meds (I got genetic testing to make sure my meds wouldn't interfere) I've seen a huge improvement in myself. Ive been learning new things about myself now that I'm not in my head, I joined my college's step team which I would've never been able to do with my social anxiety, I'm more productive, I've been slowly healing my c-ptsd bc its been helping me take a second to chill out and reflect and think. I've made so many new friends and finally have a social life by letting go and not worrying with the use of weed. Its really healed me, especially since when I'm sober, bc of trauma I'm always in "survivor mode" and i will constantly find something to stress and worry about. i've only had one bad stress flair up this semester, and only went to the urgent care once compared to last semester with something not too serious. its made me more kind to others and to me, made less angry and had made me a genuinely happier person and allows me to see life in a so much more deep and meaningful way. I don't get memory fog from it, and can still remember things i did while high, mainly because I started using it in senior year of high school and don't get much negative effects from it. Thing is, my boyfriend doesn't get it and thinks I smoke to much. I've tried to explain how much of a better person ( and definitely a better partner since I've been using it to help me think rationally with arguments and stuff) but he still doesn't get it. His sister is kinda an alcoholic and his other sister smokes weed heavily and has more of a addiction type relationship with weed,doesn't have a job and has a problem, so I think its bc he's only seen how substances hurt and not help, but its still incredibly frustrating. I made it clear I'm not stopping anytime soon and sometimes he'll still make comments about it. I feel like I've only changed a good way from gardening more regularly, and I only do it when I know I have nothing to do, have stuff that I can put off for a few hours, and when I know I'm not driving that day or not driving for more than 2 hours. My therapist says that if it works it works and she thinks I should officially get a medical card, but I'm worried that my bf might say stuff about it now more often now that I have my card and can buy it now without needing to really hide it. He got mad at me today bc he found out i smoke during school, which I only do during my hour gap in between my classes and don't do it in the morning often, during my STEM classes. I have only core classes after my hour break which are easy classes that I have A's in, and its mainly a talk based lecture so I don't see the harm in doing it. Am I in the wrong? is there a way to help my bf understand that i'm worse without it? Should I stop or do less ? I don't know I'm just lost. I feel like I don't let it run my life, but sometimes I feel like he thinks I'm some like addict or something.

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

Does anyone have OCD regarding always feeling like you are not good enough at your job? I'm 58 years old now I've had OCD since childhood. Every job I've been at I never felt as good as my colleagues. I am a nurse but I worked at that for 15 years I had a breakdown of sorts in 2017 and went on disability. I now work part time as a a swim instructor for kids. I always was afraid of killing someone when I was a nurse. Then I tried dog grooming but I was afraid I would do it wrong and hurt the dogs. At least now the stakes are lower. But my OCD is the same. I work with colleagues who are about 40 years younger than I am . I am afraid of teaching certain classes bc I feel like I wouldn't do as good a job as someone else. I know I can do it but it's like I have a fear of not giving them their money's worth. I've been at my current job for 2 years . I've gotten very positive comments from my managers but I can't seem to believe them. I feel a lot of shame bc I lost a lot of my life to OCD and I am at an age where people are starting to retire after long and successful careers and here I am working at an entry level job. I'm planning on trying to get out of my comfort zone and teaching some of the classes I'm afraid of .it's really hard. I'm always scared what if I lose my benefits and had to work again as a nurse how would I do it.

I'm 20F, recently my 20M partner broke up with me. It was not a quick and done break up, it was more of a "we're not working" and a "we can fix this" and just non stop switching. From both of us. I don't think he is trying to hurt me, or even trying to lose me. He's an avoidant, runs from any sign of conflict or serious discussions. So ultimately, he stopped showing any sort of emotion, and completely started acting like nothing bothered him. We still text, in all honesty this is not anything to do with me or even our relationship, he's just in a very poor mental state. He doesn't have a ton of people he trusts, because of the fact he pushes people away. I'm trying to gain his trust, so that we can get to the point of a true discussion and let him feel like it's okay to break down those avoidant walls. I'm kind of going through hell though. But I know it's not an issue with me, I know it's about him. And I'm okay sticking around and comforting him even while I'm hurt. He cheated on me earlier in the relationship. Over social media, texting past girls he knew, hooked up with, or even strangers, and watching porn. I obviously was extremely hurt, but his apology was very sincere and ever since that happened, he actually abided by all my boundaries I set up. No social media, no bars, nothing until I trust him. He did listen and he did put in the effort. I've forgiven him for what he did. He told me in the beginning he has trouble committing. I'm his longest relationship, which was only about 5 months. I want to be able to get it to him that I will walk away if he does not commit to changing. If anyone is an avoidant, or has successfully healed with an avoidant please reach out. As much as you'd like to say "You're worth more, leave him.", he is a good person. He needs help and I care for him. Leaving is not an easy option for me to make

How is this OCD? Who with Pocd thinks about a naked child ???? I was over here thinking if I’m actually attracted to kids because I find some of them good looking you know and my little cousin I have thoughts about her too and I was thinking about her naked but I wasn’t aroused or nothing so that’s where I’m confused It was intentional so does that make me a p*do?

Why is it that you beat one OCD think, but another OCD thing comes up related to it, but the same theme?

Sorry about how long this is!! Hello to the person reading this!! I'm new to this site and I just finished my profile! In my bio it describes my situation and why I joined. If anyone has time to check out my profile and read what I wrote I would really appreciate it! In my bio I said "disorders/conditions" referring to the things I might have that are undiagnosed, but I do not in any way mean disorder or condition in a negative way I just don't know another word or phrase to use and if you have some please tell me so I can fix it ASAP. I'm asking you to go to my profile because what I want to talk about it is a LOT of reading, and it would be easier for me and from how I think about people reading these posts hopefully easy for you as a reader! If you think it would be easier for me to just post it also let me know. If after reading it, you have anything to say about my situation or something I said feel free to comment on this post and let me know! I'm open to anything you would like for me to know about how you feel about something I said, any advice, any constructive criticism so I can fix certain words or phrases, if you think I should get rid of something or add something, any feedback about the things I mentioned, any resources you recommend for me to check out to educate myself more on something I said that you disagree with or just something you think might help, if you think something I said was just plain wrong please tell me why and if you're able to give me something to switch it to so it is more accurate or something I can read with correct information on that subject so I can edit it and correct myself, and just anything you recommend for me to do, read, fix, change, consider, anything! I tried my hardest to make sure what I said wouldn't be taken the wrong way because of the way I worded it but if anyone thinks something I said could be said in a better way or shouldn't be said at all tell me so I can fix or remove it. Again, I am open to constructive criticism on anything you think needs it! I am not in any way trying to be rude or offensive to anyone and if anything I said rubbed you the wrong way or if you could understand what I meant but others might take it the wrong way please tell me how you feel and if you want to give me suggestions to fix the statement I will take all of them into consideration and if anybody wants me to leave the platform because you think it may not be right for me, let me know you feel that way so I can educate and improve myself so I can find somewhere that would suit my situation better. If you need any extra info or context, I'll provide it to help you better understand. I included some things about my family history so if that is unnecessary let me know and I'll remove it. If you notice something that just doesn't have anything to do with what I'm trying to say, and it's just not needed in my bio to help explain my situation tell me! I will do my best to make sure if someone comments that I will respond but I'm doing schoolwork so it won't be immediately, but I will try to respond to everyone when I can. I joined this website for support from people who might understand what I'm going through and might have some advice that helped them. I mentioned in my bio I am not diagnosed with OCD so I understand if you don't think I should be talking about my situation on here. I came here because I think I might have OCD, but I am not diagnosed in any way, and I am not trying to diagnose myself. If anyone thinks anything negatively about something I said, please comment on this post what it was that made you feel that way and something I could do to fix the thing I said that you did not like but if you do comment because you have negative thoughts, PLEASE TELL ME but also please try to keep it remotely respectful. I don't want anyone to feel like I am trying to be rude, mean, disrespectful or anything like that so if you do feel like that tell me what I said that needs fixed!!!! I want everyone to be comfortable so if something makes you uncomfortable, please let me know! Sorry about this long message I just want to make sure you guys know to come to me about anything you think of what I said or something I should do or something to make by bio more positive. I am so grateful for anyone that reads this and my bio even if you don't have anything to say about anything I said. I am just grateful that you even read this message. I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of your days/nights! I hope you are able to find the support you need to cope with your struggles because you matter, and you deserve the love, support, and kindness people may not have given you in the past. I hope you all know how amazing you are. I want you all to know proud I am of you for waking up today. I am so proud of you for making it through everything you've been through prior today because you are alive today and right now and that is one of the best things anyone could do. I don't want to sound like I'm trying too hard, but I feel like some people really need to hear it even from a stranger. I hope you all know that even though I don't personally know you I am proud of you for being alive today. You are doing amazing in your journey with your mental health. Sorry if I said too much. Btw I added a trigger warning because some stuff I wrote about in my bio could be triggering if it has any specific tags as to what it is a warning for on this message it probably won't line up with what I said in my bio. Anyways I hope if you read all of this you check out my profile and give me some feedback!