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when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

Toni is very caring and compassionate. She has taught me so much about handling my ocd (Pocd etc). I still experience ocd symptoms but not as much / strong because of her and NOCD help. Thank you

Today I was trying to figure out something at work, and some people were watching and I was taking longer than expected. I said to myself, “why am I so stupid” and I felt like I was angry and I felt like I was angry at God. I’m worried because I felt like I cursed God in my heart. I’m worried because who am I to be mad at God. I want to have reverence, and I just don’t know what to do. It feels like my heart is hard.

Hello does anyone get such severe panic and anxiety that comes along with bad intrusive thoughts. Then the thoughts give you more panic because you feel you may act on them? Then I worry I’m going crazy, can anyone relate? Thank for reading

PLEASE HELP ANY ANSWER WILL DO So I moved to a big city a few months earlier and it was summer, so it was hot. I slept with my window and balcony door open for air. One night, whilst i was trying to sleep, i heard what seemed to be a woman m*aning at times. At first it was annoying and was like omg stfu but it's embarrassing but soon I felt a bit aroused by it. Then, so many months later, I got a thought, what if it wasn't a woman but a child crying? And I got so terrified and I began trying to remember the memory again to remember exactly what I heard, then began looking on youtube what children sound like when they cry to make sure it wasn't what I heard. I'm absolutely terrified. I can't even check to make sure. I need help

Not necessarily asking for reassurance and I know I’ve mentioned this here before but my OCD has been affecting my cognition seemingly. I’ll forget small things or put things in odd places sometimes, or mix up words - things like that. Obviously this triggers me to be like “Alzheimers/dementia.” Can anyone relate? And if you recovered what did you do for it?

I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭

This might be a bit disturbing but it’s been weighing on my mind. From all the posts I’ve made, I’ve talked about how I was influenced at a young age and saw things I shouldn’t have seen. A lot of it. I can’t remember much because it’s blurry and all muddy and in different timelines. Sometimes I genuinely don’t understand why I would do such a thing or how I could and I would constantly overanalyse things from the past. These things lead me to do things to myself out of trying to understand and curiosity and mimicking actions like kissing others in preschool. I made stupid mistakes I can’t take back and it weighs on me a lot. I don’t and can’t remember so much honestly but when I was at the age of 8, I inappropriately touched someone and it wasn’t out of harm but to understand why. What I did was wrong and the whole context of the situation is messed up but I knew to a certain degree it was wrong ( I spoke to this to my therapist who was very understanding and told me these things happen a lot when kids are young ) I remember at the time I felt guilt and realised I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was dammed for what I did and there was no coming back for me but I remember apologising to them and never doing it again. I had to keep this with me for so many years and it broke me a lot. I matured and realised my actions, spent time crying, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be here, and was filled with a lot of shame and guilt with nobody to be there or know about this. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared. I was scared to also be badly punished but eventually as time passed, the person passed away and nobody knew about the story. This year I began opening up and for the first time I opened up to people about this because I wasn’t doing good mentally and spent days—months ruminating, panicking, and thinking I was a monster for everything. I never thought I would but it was with people I trust who loved and accepted me. I told them the situation and how I felt. I told my therapist briefly and she told me we could continue this convo the next time and that I didn’t have to tell her everything but… It didn’t make sense to me. I felt like I needed to confess everything or else I was a fraud. I do definitely care about their justice ( justice overall ) for what happened to them regardless of them not being here and I’m beyond sorry that something like this happened to them because of my stupidity when I was younger. I try my best to be understanding and compassionate to myself but sometimes it’s all filled with hatred and shame and guilt but I’m trying. People say confessing makes things worst. I feel like this is something that needs to be confessed but Ive already admitted my actions, regrets and told others about this but yet it’s still there . I’m not an angel but I do know, these stupid past mistakes have made me more empathetic to people and not wanting things like this to happen to anyone. As I’ve grown I’ve realised how these things can distort your view of reality at a young age because now as I’m older, I understand so much more than my younger self would. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I did certain things and people at my age were probably more matured and smarter than me. A lot of things happen in different timelines but I’ve matured so much and I understand my mistakes and the impact. I feel safe to talk about this to my therapist or here but to my family and others.. I don’t know what to say. I’ve made so many stupid mistakes and feel like I need to confess everything. I didn’t want to ever talk about this to anyone because I didn’t want to make things worst for people. This happened so many years back and I just didn’t want to bring the past into the present. I know that I have no right to really suggest this because that person was a victim. I don’t know what I should do. Confess? Or let it be in the past? I mean my therapist and close friends know about this.

I work a job at my grandparents house cleaning around their house. For example, pledging areas that need it, using glass cleaner to clean dirty glass.etc My biggest problem is my mind as it’s constantly taking over. When I finish cleaning or doing a task, I literally have to ponder on if I completed the whole task (I stand there for a long time going through “ok, did I get this whole spot clean?” and I ponder on things like did I complete the task and have to stand there until I remember yes I did clean this whole spot. I struggle with moving from task to task. Do you guys have any suggestions for how you can tell your brain this is done without pondering if the task really got done or not? Thanks so much!🩵

I got pure o. I don't think that's really the correct term but you get what i'm talking about. I would say that i have it because my ocd just picks and chooses what subtype it wants to bother with me today. Right now, i'm suffering with real event ocd and, hopefully, false memories. But i think i might have cracked the code on it. So my real events and false memories are pretty much private related, which makes it worse because there's no evidence or proof. There are some memories (real events) i can think about and accept that they happened. I still feel guilt and shame but i have closure from it. And there's the other memories (hopefully false memories) that i look at and just cannot wrap my head around. They feel so real like they actually happened and it gives me so much stress, but i sit there and think and think and think on it to see if it actually happened. Btw, these false memories come from my real events but in different situations and times. Like if it was true, i would accept it. Whether or not it made me feel guilt or shame, i would still accept it happened. This is what i think i figured out. I can look at a memory and know for certain it happened. I don't need evidence or nothing. The false memories make me question myself if it did happen. It's still very vivid and looks so real like a real memory, but i just can't be for certain if i did that. It makes me feel like i'm in denial of my past. Sometimes they both work together. A real event can happen but false memories can use its work to detail out the event, tryna make it much worse than it was. Or you can be thinking of a false memory but real events can try linking with that false memory to making you think you did do that. If this makes any sense or if what i’m saying is correct or i’m just crazy, please tell me. All advice is welcome. Thank you

Every day living is a win against OCD! Don’t let up, it’s gonna hurt like hell, but we’ll come out of this stronger than ever! Practice your uncertainty, welcome those nasty thoughts, no matter how horrible or taboo, look at them straight up and laugh! This is not our reality, we choose our own paths! Life was never meant to be serious! There’s no such thing as a serious sunrise, serious tree, or serious bird! Laugh and love, learn to forgive yourself, it’s beautiful once you come out on the other side for once!

Anyone else struggle with somatic OCD and any pain/feeling slightly different is so noticeable and you feel like you’re just going to collapse or something? Like my ocd always convinces me that any sort of pain is related to some kind of illness that can cause a bad outcome or even death. If so, please share your tips of how to improve with this type of ocd 😭

At this point I feel like I need to get on something ASAP. I know that therapy is a long road and hard work and I am totally down to do it but in the short term (I just started this journey) I think I need pharmaceutical help. Some of the people closest to me agree. I have never been on meds before and it's scary AF but the road I am going down is scarier. Advice?

When I say I feel like I like a thought, I don’t mean the OCD is telling me like a thought or that I concluded that from a physical sensation. I mean, I genuinely feel like something in my brain lights up and it feels like I like it mentally. Whenever I hear people talk about liking thoughts (excitement, arousal), I always see things about groinals or heart flutters. Physical things. I don’t think I really ever see people talk about the mental sensation if this is even a thing. I just wanna know if anyone relates to this or has found an explanation for this because seeing it from an analytical point of view seems to help me sometimes. This is so, *so* especially hard for pocd themed thoughts :( Anyone relate?

So I have intense relationship doubts about if I’m really in love or just attached to the security and companionship my partner brings. It started with knit-picking the way she jokes/talks about me and like sometimes i didn’t like how she looked in her glasses, then It was fantasizing about other woman thinking i must not be in love if I do that, then it was the fact that we couldn’t have deep talks without it being over an argument. If i truly loved her I wouldn’t be knit-picking her, I wouldn’t fantasize about other woman, I wouldn’t feel like we have something missing like having deep talks but then again I feel so much affection and care for her and what I assume is LOVE. So what is it?!? When I found out about ROCD i was quick to self diagnosed. I felt like that’s what I could have and for me my compulsions would be: searching up am I in love or attached quizzes, or searching up signs i’m truly in love. But although these compulsions provided relief for a bit, I always had a small voice/feeling/intuition telling me this isn’t right and I’m denying myself the truth which was that I’m not actually in love and just looking for a reason to justify staying in this relationship without feeling the guilt that I don’t really love her and just love her presence. We have broken up about 5 times but each time I run back to her within 24 hrs because I miss being with her and feel so sad to cause us both emotional pain. Is this ROCD or just attachment to the relationship and having her be mine.

hi! i was wondering if anyone here began treatment using sertraline and then got off of it later? im just curious about other people's experiences using if for their ocd and if they eventually got off of it or are just taking it indefinitely. Thanks!!

I’m having hitman ocd thoughts and I feel like I’m gunna google how to hire a hitman UGH so it feels like I’m gunna type that and I can’t use google so as erp I’m using google but this is fucked

Okay so In the moment I get intrusive thoughts about children which I hate. I get the gronal responses which I always so many compultions after. My ocd is very bad and I’m showering and changing my bedding around 8 times. Therapists have told me I’m the worse they’ve ever known. That’s how bad my life is atm. I hate this disorder. I want to know if ocd can cause these things as it will help me to fight my compulsions and just except it’s ocd… In the moment the gronal responses are genuinely pleasurable and I struggle to ignore them and stop them, in the moment t I want them even if it was due to a thought of a kid My OCD will tell me I’m aroused I’ll feel aroused then when moving around in my bed it’ll tell me to make my vagina touch my bedding for a feeling while I’m turning over and I purposely do it in the moment… I hate it. After I do so many compilations, it’s not even me it’s like someone else controlling my body When I try to fight my compulsions I think in my mind “I like this anyways” and actually like the thoughts and gronal responses over the children, which then makes me not be able to fight them. For example my ocf was telling me to spray my feet with anti back, but then I tried to fight it and I was thinking to myself “nah l like this one I like this feeling over the kid it’s the real me” like I didn’t even feel stressed from it it’s like I wanted it. Of corse after these I do lots and many compultions Please I just want to know if ocd can do this

today's exposure exercise. I look at the face of a person I have sexual thoughts about and I feel that as soon as I can connect that face with sex I am attracted to it, and I feel like I can touch my self on sexual way while looking at that face, and I can imagine it and get it as an urge..it seems like I am stopping myself because it is horrible, not that I don't want to... I get stuck a lot with this and I don't know how to get out...I can't...

Hi i need help as im checking things over over as in doors cooker switches taps etc