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I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help

I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.

This is really ruining me and I’m at the lowest point of this. I’m not suicidal or anything and I’m not depressed but I can’t bear with this anymore. POCD is the worst ocd I’ve ever dealt with and I’m too scared to tell a therapist about this. What do I do

It’s night rn where I’m at and I’ve been getting bombarded with thoughts and I have anxiety I tried doing compulsions because before doing them I could feel my heartbeat from the anxiety now I’m a bit less anxious but nowhere near close to calm because no matter how many times I see that I’m not gay it keeps coming back.

I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.

With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.

I’m so tired of having ocd I’m tired

I keep thinking about life and death and all that stuff and it’s making me so upset. I keep thinking about how one day im probably going to be old and on my death bed or something and my whole life will be nothing but a memory and im so scared for that day. i wont have my parents and my younger siblings wont have any of us. time feels like its moving too fast like i feel every second pass and think about how i can never get that moment back and i cant slow down time or go back or even just pause it because its always going and theres nothing i can do about it. And then i start thinking about whats after death and get even more scared because if heaven is real then what is eternity? wont i get bored of doing the same things… forever? and if its not real then what happens is it just nothing? because thats even more scary i don’t want to be nothing because that also means the people i love will be nothing and i wont be able to be with them. And if it’s not that then is it reincarnation? will i have to do this all over again? will the souls of the people i love be with me in their new forms? is the sun “God” because the planets revolve around it and the stars are all of the passed souls? what does it feel like to be a star? will i even just know i died? i have so many questions and the fact that none have an answer and i just have to wait to find out drives me insane. i try to remind myself everyone before me and everyone after me will experience death and loss at one point in their life and that I’m not alone but it doesn’t help. nothing helps. ive had “episodes” like this before when i was around 10-14 about once a year always around May-June which is the month my great grandmother died and June is my birth month which i hate because yk… time passing and aging which i assume is why i always get worse around that time. i was able to kind of ignore or turn it off the past like 3 years but this month its just too much i cant even deal with it. maybe because I’m turning 18? idk but its been bothering me so much and its all i can think about. Even when i seem fine the thoughts are always in there somewhere and some days they’re easier to ignore and others it feels impossible. I just wish I was like those people who can just turn their thoughts off if they don’t like them. My mom says she can do that if she thinks about how her mom died or something she can tell herself she doesn’t want to think about that and just… turn it off?? and thats so shocking to me because i’ve begged a god I don’t even know if I believe in to stop my thoughts and she can just turn them off herself? I don’t have another therapy appointment until next week I wish I could talk to them everyday so it could work faster but instead i’m on here. So if anyone has any advice PLEASE give it to me. I’m so tired it’s making me not enjoy anything in life because it makes me feel like theres no point in anything but I want to feel normal and I want to enjoy things. Sorry for writing so much just had to get this out there. Also i’m not trying to seek reassurance btw I just wanna know how other people coped with this or similar issues😭

I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.

Please share your experiences with ocd lying to you? Please share anything, thank you.

My ocd them has gotten worse and I’m trying my hardest to not look for reassurance. Why does my mind play these tricks on me that I’m saying my thoughts out loud????? I’m trying my hardest to ignore it but it’s making me depressed. When I’m ignoring it my brain will go to “everybody will talk about you” “you said something bad” “you said it out loud and when you’ll live a terrible life”. I don’t know what to do anymore

I feel like it’s just me. But at night when I start to fall asleep, play on my phone, or watch TV; I’ll get major intrusive thoughts and a butt load of anxiety. Has anyone felt the same about this? How have you managed it? It’s getting exhausting and even causes me to sleep-less.

I’ve been struggling with something deeply painful and overwhelming. It is Religious OCD, and it’s affecting every part of my life. I feel like I’m losing myself. Even in my sleep, I find no rest. The intrusive thoughts are constant—they never stop—and I wake up exhausted every day because my mind keeps running. I also often break down in secret. Earlier I broke down in front of my mom and told her what I’ve been going through. I couldn’t carry it on my own anymore. I explained that I’ve been struggling with OCD since I was 13, and it has only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. I’m 17 now. But the truth is, the symptoms started much earlier—around age 9. I kept it hidden for so long because I knew our family was going through financial hardships, and I didn’t want to be a burden. Now, OCD has taken the form of Religious OCD. I constantly feel like my thoughts, feelings, or even normal actions are sinful. My brain keeps throwing dark, unwanted “what if” thoughts at me—thoughts I never wanted or chose. I try to ignore them, but they just come back stronger. While I was opening up to her about my Religious OCD, I noticed I kept seeking reassurance. I feel bad and guilty about it. My mom cried in front of me and it's breaking me. She tried her best to comfort me, and I truly appreciate that. But I could tell she was confused and overwhelmed. I tried to explain that OCD isn’t just about stress or overthinking—it’s a real mental health condition. Still, she told me maybe I don’t really have OCD, and that I’ve just convinced myself I do because I spend too much time online. That really hurt. I’m not making this up. I’m not doing this for attention. I don’t want these thoughts—they are not who I am. It’s painful when people say, “it’s all in your head,” as if I can just stop thinking about it and be fine. I wish it were that simple. But that’s not how OCD works. It’s not just “overthinking”—it’s a cycle that traps you, and even when you know what’s happening, it still feels impossible to escape. I feel guilty and ashamed. I know my mom is worried, and I know she loves me. She’s also afraid that people will think I’m crazy. She even told me that if this continues, I might have to stop college. That crushed me. I don’t want to let her down. I don’t want to make life harder for anyone. I love my mom, and it broke me to yell at her—I was just desperate for her to understand. Sometimes, I’ve even thought about leaving my religion—not because I want to, but because I feel so tormented by these thoughts. I love God. I want to feel close to Him again, without fear and anxiety. But Religious OCD has made me question everything, and that’s what hurts the most. What I need right now is understanding, not judgment. I need someone to believe me when I say this is real. That OCD is a mental disorder, and that Religious OCD is one of its many subtypes. It slowly takes my faith—something sacred—and turns it into a source of fear, guilt, and anxiety. I desperately want to get better. I want therapy, but I know we can’t afford it right now. I even thought about going to church and wanted to ask for help—but I’m scared they won’t understand my Religious OCD either, just like my mom. I want to talk to a counselor, but I don’t know where to find one. I don’t know where to begin. I feel so helpless, hopeless, and alone. I try to stay strong, but I feel like I’m drowning. I’m exhausted. Sometimes, I even think about giving up entirely, because I don’t know if I’ll ever get better. I’m scared that I’m starting to develop depression on top of everything. I’m scared that if this continues, I’ll lose my mind completely and end up somewhere I don’t belong. And that fear alone is killing me inside. I just want to feel better. I want peace. I want my mind back. I want my relationship with God to feel safe again. Please—if you’re reading this and you understand, or you can help, or even just listen without judging—please, help me find a way forward.

Is there anyone out there with the real event subtype that wouldn’t mind giving me some encouragement not to confess or do compulsions? It always says I’m different. My events are the exception. What do you do to ignore this voice?

I’m going to a waterpark with my friend in a few days. And I have very severe harm OCD that causes me to worry I’ll touch someone inappropriately. This is going to sound so fucking silly but because my hips moved during a hug one time I’m afraid I’m gonna fucking thrust on someone (bruh wtf lol) and anytime I walk by someone my hips will move a bit or my leg will stretch out too far when I’m walking and I’ll feel like I fucking like it. And I’ll think I was just trying to do a thrust or something (it sounds silly when I type it out and to be fair it is lmao) and I’ll freak out. I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel like a fucking psycho.

So, as of one hour ago today I am officially diagnosed with severe contamination ocd. I don't know how to process this, my moms crying, my therapist is moving to Uruguay and won't be able to continue our therapy, what in actual hell do I do. What am I doing. I don't know how to process this. The issue isn't just that I have it- it's that it's severe, not mild, not moderate, permanent. Incurable. I want a cure so bad, I want a magical pill to make it go away and it simply does not exist. Feel free to message me eith advice for newly diagnosed ocd'ers, I definitely could use it. Have a lovely day everyone ♡

I finally had the courage to tell me wife how I’m feeling when she asked me… I told her “I feel very depressed” and all i got in return is “awww I’m sorry” and walked away. Like what the actual fuck?

Hi! This is my first post and I was curious if anyone has been able to recover from harm OCD and if you did it with therapy only or a combination of therapy and medication? It’s absolutely horrifying and I’ve had it since my daughter was born but it picks up in intensity when I’m stressed. I’m also scared to start ERP for it.

Been having blasphemous intrusive thoughts about God. Then sometimes I’m really struggling and I feel resentful, sometimes even towards God, which I know is not right, I want to have reverence. But it feels like sometimes I think the blasphemous thoughts on purpose because of my anger. I don’t know if this is an OCD issue or an issue of my heart or both. But yeah I don’t know what to do.