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Whats perfectionism ocd like and how do you know if you have it?

I looked at a picture of someone who was 14 and I found her attractive. I’m 19. Why would I find her attractive? Is it possible I think she looked older or am I just attracted to young kids?

I thought I’d gotten better about reading articles and posts about most men being attracted to children. It upsets me and that’s fine but what i can’t do is relentlessly research it. I know there’s no cure and that it’s normal even if it’s not moral. But for that reason my mind latches on to it and i want to know WHY WHY WHY, or what if this person is, or what if my favorite YouTuber is. Statistically the answer is probably yes, most of them i assume are probably attracted to kids. And that’s where my ocd stems bc them k go in the loop about why and who. There’s no one answer and no correct number out there. It’s a hard fact to accept and i thought i was over this but now im upset over it again and my stomach is sick. I’m not sure how to overcome this.

I haven’t really been in my Bible lately cuz I just feel like when I read it like it’s to mark a box off and my ocd flare ups make it worse I don’t even want to read. I will read like a daily devotional or like a chapter but that’s like the bare minimum like it doesn’t even count so I don’t know what to do does that make me lukewarm I don’t want to backslide in my faith but I feel so far from God I mean I never really feel close either I just can’t even focus my brain is too loud.

I have been in ERP therapy for my OCD for nearly a year now. Before my diagnosis and doing ERP, I really didn't drive a car for five years and rarely left the house. Now I drive to work, coffee and other outings. Most of the people close in my life don’t really know about my OCD. They do see me doing lots of things I haven't done in the past. I don't really know if I should explain about why this progress happened. I hope they don't think I was just being lazy up until then. They will talk about how someone is “so OCD” because they keep their room clean and really enjoy things neat. Anytime I hear this, I just think that if they hear about my diagnosis of OCD and what it entails they will think I’m crazy. I feel very conflicted about how to go about this, so advice is welcome.

Just because I have feelings around a guy doesn’t mean I have feelings FOR HIM. Right? I’m just a girl… ugh. But I’m like omg I felt like I wanted to flirt or wanted attention or desire or wanted to look good. And let me say I adore my partner. Aren’t these just human things? But it freaks me out if I feel some type of way around someone else that means I have feelings for them

THIS IS A RELIGIOUS TOPIC! If you're not religious but you still value sex after marriage then you can comment too. I'm not in a relationship right now, but this topic is bothering me. I want to wait until marriage, but I think i would be really weak in the relationship, cause even now I struggle with lust and sexual desire. Which is normal but I know if its hard right now, It will be harder with another person. I had different believes before, I didnt believe in getting married quickly, but someone changed my mind. I heard that wainting can worsen the relationship and even the Bible says that its better to marry than to burn with lust,.I think this might be interpreted differently. So I started believing in this until I heard stories of young people getting married and then fail and get divorced, or just struggling in the marriage, and ofcourse there are good exemples too, but Im still hesitating on this. I also heard someone express their opinion and said that you shouldnt get married before 3 years in a relationship, cause you even have good friends but after 3 years the friendship just goes away or something goes wrong. And this just made me questioning more. Ofcourse who doesnt value sex after marriage, it will be easy for them, but its hard for me. But I will be honest, I don't want to get married just because i cant control my sexual desire... This sounds really bad, getting married cause I want to have sex... I see alot of people telling me that they waited years and still waited until marriage, but im afraid I wont be able. But still I dont want to get married cause of that. 6 months and a year is too little time to know the other person. And I know others tell me no, you can get to know the other person even in 3 months, but maybe in 1 year everything is just beatiful and you dont know how yall are behaving when things are bad and there are challenges. I dont think you should know that when you are in marriage already... I wrote this cause i still have this duality in me, cause I dont know what would I do with the sexual desire, I need people who i can talk too, so If someone can share their story if they waited for years and how they did it, I would appreciate it.

This is gonna sound really weird and this is a disturbing post for me to make I’m 20, waiting till marriage. I’m a Christian but I have very bad sexual intrusive thoughts. this sounds so weird but I was thinking about the Holy Spirit like the Holy Spirit is love, peace, patience, joy, and stuff like that. My mind said that I wanted to have sex with an orange I know that’s a very weird thought but for some reason, I thought that would be cool but I know that’s very weird but in my mind, my brain said that orange is the fruit of the spirit and my brain said that I was thinking sexually about the Holy Spirit, but I don’t wanna have sex with the holy Spirit. That’s terrible I hate the thought. I don’t wanna have sex with the fruit of the spirit that’s terrible and I hate that thought now I’m scared what if I really wanted to do that to the Holy Spirit or to the fruit of the spirit? I just need some advice and I’m really freaking out anything you guys say would really help I am a Christian so please don’t go against my religious values and beliefs.

My ocd kicks in so strong this tine of year. My teaching job ends for two months and my ocd moves in to make me miserable. I can and will get through this but it sucks so bad right now! In therapy but still it’s kicking my ass. Any thing besides just sitting with it??? It’s definitely in the drivers seat and I don’t like the way it’s driving! Also it’s exhausting

I uninstalled this app for a while bc i was posting very much, but my compulsions continued. I went to a festival with my boyfriend and my friends, i waited one year for this moment and , it was like hell bc of my thoughts. It made me act so bad, i had so many mood swings, i was crying randomly bc i was thinking i am not in love anymore. even in the last day of the festival, in the middle of frikng Ken Carsons show, i had thoughts about me not loving my boyfriend, that the annoys me and it just felt so real. It felt and it feels straight up like it is real this time and i dont know what to do. Maybe this is not ocd and i just found an excuse all this time. Im avoiding intimacy, im not saying i love you, i feel repulsed by him for no reason, all off this is like proof to me but it feels so bad. So so bad. I ruined the moment i was waiting for so much, and not only for me, but for him, someone here told me i feel out of love. Im scared that this is not ocd. that im just a good person who does not accept the truth, and that dosent want to hurt him. I feel like i have changed and have no feelings. He tells me that im not supposed to feel love everytime but why dont i feel it al all. im scared and tierd. Im scared that i do t have ocd. i have been lime this for so long, (2 years) that i started to think i never loved him and i just want the ideea of me to love him, and maybe im crying rn not because i want to love him but because im tierd of feeling like this. please someone help me. i dont know what is happening. i cant even kiss him or be intimate and im thinking “LOOK IS PROOF I DONT LOVE HIM” . PLUS im so rude to him and im acting badly and when he tells me he dosent feel loved i feel so numb. like i do t care???? is this real??? it feels real this time??? maybe this is not rocd, i cant enjoy anything and it somehow makes sense that i only want the ideea of liking him please i told my mom i dont feel live and she told me “Why are you struggling? Are you staying with him out of pity or out of compromise? Have you been like this for 2 years? How long will you last?” im hurting myslef and him

I feel like I wasted my life.I am almost 20 years old I feel like I did some mistakes that are too horrible to be forgiven.I didnt help a kid who needed help..Who was in danger ..Who was hurt.This made me think I am dangerous and can't be trusted.I started to have these terrible terrible thoughts(pocd) and I feel like I changes since then.Like I am not a ,,pure" person.That I can't be like I was before.I hope it was a compulsion..I used to also stare at kids years ago.I know is so disgusting and I will never act like that again.I feel like I did something too terrible.I am scared this is all proof I am a p..I don't wanna be that.I will never do something but I am so disgusted by my thoughts.I know I shoulf not seek reassurance and all but I don't know if anyone will want to be near me if they knew.I feel like an impostor.And I am scared to tell a therapist..what if they told me that I really am?! Ped******a is one of the things that disgust me the most ..(I think for everyone is like that).I feel like I am too terrible to do something in life.After all of this idk if I deserve anything.Maybe there was a chance if I didn't start to have these thoughts..but now..I want to became a psychologist, to travel the world.I feel like I wasted my life .And I feel like I have too many things to do and have a lot of places to go.Some people are sick and can't do the things I CAN do.And I feel guilty because of that.And I am also scared I will get sick( as I write this, I am scared I will manifest it).I am going to a therapist but idk if I have the courage to tell abt my pocd

How can I overcome my fear of hell and the one sin that can’t be forgiven with erp erp is obviously to expose those fears and sit in uncertainty but I can’t be uncertain about eternal life even tho I feel uncertain all the time

Hello. I joined this app because I realised my experiences might be due to OCD. I often have these really disgusting and terrible pictures of me becoming someone horrible, doing horrible things to others. These ideas really disturb me, and often in my mind, and physically sometimes, I literally scream quitely to myself, "Shut up!" Over and over until the image goes away, but unless I distract myself with something else immediately after, it comes back and gets worse. I also end up looking back on these thoughts, and being terrified that maybe I am thinking of this because it is what I truly want, so I end up desperately trying to filter my thoughts, and this ends up carrying into something like SO-OCD, even though I am confident that I am a straight male, and there is no evidence that I am not, I keep trying to prove to myself that I am straight to make the thought go away. I also get the fear that after I maybe do something and say something I know I maybe shouldn't have to someone, that when they leave, or I can't find them for a bit, they have gone to commit suicide. Likewise, I also get intrusive thoughts of me killing myself, even though I have no desire to, and this scares me a lot as well. I used to occasionally get these thoughts in chunks like maybe for 2 weeks and then I wouldn't for another few weeks, but they have gotten worse and more frequent this past semester. They are still not bad enough to actively effect my daily life and routine, but they definitely come frequently enough to distract me, disrupt what I'm doing and make me take a break, and it has dramatically effected my mood and mental state lately. Do you guys recommend any ways to deal with this, is this really severe enough to even call OCD? Would love to hear, thanks! ❤️

Have you ever tested yourself by s€x stimulating physically yourself to those thoughts? I did and then it seemed to me that I could continue, and if I didn't, and now it comes back to me as something that I could do, I never once felt that it was repulsive to me... and that paralyzes me... i have incst ocd...thanks and sorry for being so direct...

Hello. I took my first Buspar last night before bed to try and see how it affected my body. During the night I had a really really bad dream. AWFUL. I’ve only ever experienced ROCD and anything concerning me and my relationship. But in this dream I was doing sexual things with a CHILD. I’ve never ever ever had these images and I had a gronial response to it. I’ve never experienced this or anything to do with children. Why did I basically finish to a child in my dream? I feel like I need to turn myself into the cops. It wasn’t a child I knew I couldn’t even see the face of the child. But I’ve never experienced this and I’m scared. I’m so scared. I don’t want children at all. I work at a preschool for Christ sake. Please someone help please I’ve never experienced this. Ik reassurance isn’t what I need but i desperately need something

I'm just venting, but everything is feeling so overwhelming lately. Every day, I still find myself checking on my ex. I know it sounds obsessive, but it’s not coming from a weird or stalkerish place. It just feels like I never got closure, and I’m stuck in this loop. I read that “closure is a choice, not a conversation,” and I try to believe that—but part of me still needs to know what he’s doing, like it gives me some weird sense of closure, even if it’s just temporary. And I hate that I’m like this. On top of that, I’ve been wanting to see my Pap, who is in the hospital in pretty severe condition but I never have time because I’m always working. My job is stressful. I try so hard, but my grooms don’t turn out the way I want, and I just feel like I’m failing. Then there's my financial situation—my car payment is $713 a month, plus insurance and other bills. I can’t save at all. Thankfully my mom pays the rent, but she constantly holds it over me and threatens to kick me out. It’s never felt stable at home, and now it’s worse. Lately, my childhood trauma is resurfacing, and it’s affecting everything—my friendships, any chance of a relationship, even my bond with my pets. I feel like I’m falling apart, and when I finally get in bed at night, I just feel hopeless. I look around and see people I went to school with thriving, and I feel so far behind. I used to feel ahead because I was already handling adult responsibilities, but now it feels like I’m stuck while everyone else is moving forward. I’m losing control of my emotions—randomly lashing out, struggling with anger—and I can’t afford therapy or even regular doctor visits. Sometimes I can’t even afford groceries, and it’s frustrating because I work hard and still feel like I’m drowning. I just want a simple, peaceful life: a modest home, a normal car, a stable routine. I want a support system. I want to feel connected like my friends Jessica and Ashley, but I don’t. It’s just me, but it’s still lonely. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t get anything right. Like I’m always doing something wrong in someone’s eyes, and I have no one to turn to for help.

hi! how did you guys get your ocd diagnosis? what was that process like? did it take a while? do some of you not have a diagnosis but just know you have ocd?

What if I just committed blasphemy? In my mind, I was doing compulsions and I accidentally said the Holy Spirit is not of God but of the you know who I don’t even wanna type that on there because I know it’s not true and I’m worried that I committed blasphemy and I’m worried that if I type it, I’ll commit blasphemy I don’t wanna do this I don’t know what to do. I really don’t mean that.

I'm 13, and was screen broadcasting to my boyfriend because we where bored and curiously and we searched up..... Like porn. On the internet. Idk why... Anyway we came across smth that looked like a MINOR.(it was anime porn) and we couldn't tell for sure so now I'm spiraling and have CRAZY confession compulsions to my mum and I really do not wanna tell her. Please what do I do.

I'm 13, and was screen broadcasting to my boyfriend because we where bored and curiously and we searched up..... Like porn. On the internet. Idk why... Anyway we came across smth that looked like a MINOR.(it was anime porn) and we couldn't tell for sure so now I'm spiraling and have CRAZY confession compulsions to my mum and I really do not wanna tell her. Please what do I do.