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I could really use someone to talk to rn. It’s been a horrible day

I have recently switched themes and now I have like 6 emails 4 old ones and 2 new I created to keep everything organized because one of the emails started getting a lot of adult content spam and I felt gross and that made me feel like that email is messed up now so I need to transfer everything over and delete unused accounts and separate emails for shopping and social media and then when I forget and use the wrong account for social media I want to start over all over again and create another email because what if that email gets sold and gets gross spam.Also when I have a image pop up in my head I don’t like I think to take a shower to reset or clean to reset the area I’m in.Are all of these things ocd?please help.Im out of therapy atm and I don’t know what any of this means.

Tbh I don’t really remember exactly what/when I saw or read that first triggered my potential ocd (not officially diagnosed yet), not sure if it was a thought that led to research or research that led to thought. Is this normal? And can ocd first be triggered by something you read or is it like you read something + getting a thought?

Ok, I’m 23 years old guy and I’ve never had a girlfriend or anything intimate with a female. There’s reasons for it I think growing up I was awkward, shy, and at times out of shape. But now I take good care of myself and though I struggle a lot with my mental health I think I could bring a lot to the table but I’ve just never been able to find somebody. I put myself out there on apps(no success) or just being out in the world hoping to meet someone naturally just nothing. I was pretty fine with this fact of waiting for the right person and taking more time than others to find love for most of my life..but everyday I get older it gets more embarrassing. Seeing friends and peers in relationships and talk about intimacy feels like I’m missing out on such a core fundamental part of the human experience. I try not to compare myself to others and have my own journey but I feel kind of pathetic honestly. I’ve been a hopeless romantic for my whole life I think it’s such a beautiful part of life and I’ve been dreaming of the day..that might be a problem honestly because I have such a romanization of it and idea of what it should be that the few chances I might’ve had I overthought or dropped because it didn’t fit that image I had…love at first sight, sparks flying etc..maybe I should be more open..And on top of all of that I do struggle with the fear I’m far to broken or far gone mentally to ever be able to maintain a relationship which hurts because as I’ve expressed it’s what I want most in life. Thank you for reading it might not be 100 percent ocd related but I needed to express this somewhere and I love this community helps me a lot, if anyone in my age group struggles with something similar feel free to share.

Love you guys. All I gotta say is healing is NOT linear. So I may have achieved some level according to the DOCS tests but what I have learned is how to live and manage the disorder. If anyone ever needs any advice I am here to help:) Finding peace is identifying your compulsions and cutting them out of your life as best as you can🩷

Im having issues with seeing my girlfriend as a good person, good girlfriend to me, idk. To be fair I do love her, but it feels like she's just so irresponsible. Which is ironic because she's older than me (1 year). She's just such a slob. I feel terrible for saying that but she's been so depressed and all and is ALWAYS finding a way to procrastinate cleaning her room, there are bugs and food and clothes everywhere it's an absolute mess and I pretend not to care but it grosses me the fuck out. It's been worse lately because she was given too much estrogen (she's transgender) and it can cause relapses in depression if the dose is too high, which is was the past month but she's tapering off now. I know I'm only 17 but I think about what it'd be like to date other women post college as an adult, cisgender women, black and brown women, non autistic women and more femme women. Women who got their shit together if that makes sense. I feel awful for saying all of thay because I still love her. I want to go to university, mostly online to finish my ITP and get my asl interpreting license (woohoo!) But she's doesn't even try in school. She's ALWAYS. Been like that. She wants to go to community College for business and marketing but refuses to get her shit together. I've talked about this dozens, hundreds of times this summer because she's a senior now. It's not just depression anymore I feel like. All she does is talk about weed, watch South park, and watch porn. Listen, nobody's perfect, but I never knew she would turn into this. I don't want to break up with her because I have genuine hope she can change or mature as she tapers off estrogen, but I'm still not sure. I love her, I want her to grow into the beautiful, amazing young woman she's destined to be, but if she's not even gonna try then it's useless to hope. I don't know. I'm so confused. Someone please give advice- we've dated for almost 2 years now with minimal problems, I feel so guilty for even thinking about this

How have you all seen caffeine or your level of stimulation impact your ocd? For myself I’ve noticed in general that caffeine reduces my ocd symptoms, but if I take in more than 70 mg at a time I feel anxious and jittery. I’ve also noticed that combining caffeine or stimulation, and a calming exercise at the same time reduces my ocd symptoms a lot while minimizing the anxiety. 2 of these activities for me are what I call 1) sword & Metal and 2) walking while doing mindfulness or breathing simultaneously. Sword and metal is a thing I started doing that stacks lots of skills on top of each other. I wield a sword while blasting heavy metal and stand up really tall and focus on breath and meditation. Sometimes it almost feels like different parts of my brain are going at different speeds when I experience OCD symptoms. Then I remembered that with ADHD different parts of the brain are actually going at different speeds. The frontal cortex is going slower namely. With the experiences I shared above and remembering the brain speed thing, I looked into if it’s a thing for OCD and apparently there’s research around it too, with different parts of the brain of course. Apparently, transcranial stimulation used to be used to address OCD. Anyhow, so my hypothesis based on all this is that if you can speed up the decision making centers of your brain while also calming your nervous system you can rebalance this inconsistent speed issue. Of course ERP is amazing, and I’m not bringing this up as a thought of comparison or replacement. It’s just a guess too. What do yall think?

I feel like whenever I'm at church I'm not doing good enough or my praying isn't enough. I'm also disabled and half the time am unable to stand for long periods of time. My ocd keeps telling me that I'm not worshiping good enough because I'm sitting down or because I can't sing that hymn. It makes me feel so alone when I'm at church like god doesn't love me because I am not worshiping correctly.

obviously, not over here actually looking for a genuine answer lol. but ik they go together alot im autistic and have had compulsions my entire life. like its just an everyday part of my existence since … middle? ish school. so 10 years. tho looking into it i dont think its just autism, and my therapist told me she suspects OCD but i wanna get fully tested before slapping a label on it (again. like already got CPTSD BPD MDD and GAD) does any one here also have the tism and ocd and tips on how they happen to juggle the two? not asking professional advice lol. just some solidarity. i’m a lesbian and i think i may have SO-OCD which is so annoying

What are mistakes? I have a set of values. My speech or actions contradict those values. I feel deep remorse and disappointment in myself afterwards. Logically, it would make sense to truly feel the remorse, let it impact you, and say, “I wish I didn’t do that. I wish it didn’t happen. Not because it would relieve the guilt I feel now, but because it was genuinely wrong.” Where people go wrong is forgetting the “I”. After stating this, they’ll go back to feeling that remorse, and beat themselves up because they identify with the version of them that’s actively making the mistake. But the very fact those sentences exist from the mouth of that person shows that who they are in this moment isn’t who they were then. The “I” in the statement. Who is that referring to? Certainly not the person before the mistake. If it was, the mistake wouldn’t have happened. So, if you’re now someone else, that wouldn’t do those things, why are you putting yourself down as if you’re still that person? Are those “I”s in the statement nobody? But maybe you knew it was wrong when you were doing it! If you knew the extent to which it was actually harmful, you still wouldn’t have done it. You had the knowledge of it being wrong, but there wasn’t emotion involved. Remorse associates feeling with that knowledge. You begin to feel empathetic for whoever you harmed. This empathy, when felt healthily, and not ignored- is a tool. It’s so that next time you’re in that situation you can feel the effect you’ll have on the person and not do it. Empathy creates the opportunity for you to learn and become more emotionally intelligent, sensitive, and moral. I’ve used this tool all wrong. Feeling bad for what you’ve done is an opportunity. It allows you to grow and become more empathetic. It allows you to change who you are by saying “I…” Imagine if you didn’t feel remorse. How would you ever learn? That would be worse. Thank God for remorse Remorse should be used wisely. To allow for genuine moments of growth, to come back when placed in the same situation again. When the lesson is learnt, remorse has served its purpose. Any further berating serves no positive cause. It can only be used as an excuse. “I’m so bad, there’s no hope for me to be good”. I learnt this idea from Rabbi Akiva T. Maybe there’s a chemical imbalance which causes you to ruminate on your mistakes. Whatever it is, guilt is not meant to be a punishment. It’s a tool. When you regret what you’ve done, you literally become a different person. The you that understands what you understand now simply wouldn’t have made that mistake. Tests are your desire to do something v.s your knowledge that it’s wrong. Remorse allows you to empower the latter for future situations. Sometimes we cling to self deprecation. That's all we know. You can’t just rip it out. It’ll show itself from time to time. Just know that’s a force of habit. Your true essence is still good. The truths are still true. You’re. Not. A. Bad. Person. All I know is that the “me” right now does the right thing. Don’t let remorse hold you back from changing the world. Use it like the tool it is, then let it go. If it comes back, wave at it. Smile. “You helped me, you’ve served your purpose.” Don’t let the growth go unused. Don’t let it be for nothing. Use the new, sensitive you to bring good to those around you. Don’t let the remorse hold back the good that came from it. You’re free. You’re weightless. You can change the world for the better. So do it :)

I'm pretty sure I have POCD but don't have access to a therapist, so I'm struggling on my own. From the moment it started, it's been in my head 24/7, and I'm not exaggerating. I'm not thinking about something specific, but the theme is just there, ALWAYS and I don't know how to make it leave. It's literally there no matter what, the moment I wake up I think about it and it stays until I go to sleep.

So i didnt post for sometime cause ive been going through a lot so im 16 and im a girl still figuring out my sexuality, anyway my worst ocd theme is POCD and i developed it after i started watching porn and it made me look at people woman especially in a sexual way which i hate cause i feel awful and even before when i was 14 until now i was exposed to a lot of those dark stuff and i read a lot of them, anyway POCD i keep looking at people sexually especially when its girl and then after i saw like when thise crime stories pop up on my tiktok like people catching pdf files and im like imagining what they feel towards their victims or like them explaing what they feel and me like yk when i look at someone i feel that immediately but i cant figure out what it is cause i keep looking at them in that way but not like when i see them immediately but more when i think about it and i just i dunno like especially how porn made me sexualized everything so i wanted to stop and i just feel awful, but what i find funny was before i developed pocd after i first found out about i laughed and i was like oh i dont have that deffibtly so i dont have to worry about it and now im just like

Thinking of getting a diagnosis/diagnostic assessment through NOCD, but I’m quite worried/afraid about getting misdiagnosed or calling with someone who’s like not qualified or knowledgeable enough to diagnose. On Reddit it seems that people experiences depend on which NOCD therapist they get assigned with or something, but the diagnostic assessment will be the same no matter the therapist right? Like the questions they ask and stuff? And is it an officially diagnosis? Any advice?

Hi, I'm new here, I'm about to go into my second year of college, and I've been reflecting quite a bit on my relationships over the summer. I get these really loud intrusive thoughts all the time that I'm exploiting my friends/partner and that if I don't mask my "true intentions" they will abandon me. I feel like I never do enough for them and when I do try I just end up messing up or just making the situation worse. I just want to know if anyone else experiences this? If so, any advice? I'm thinking about seeking advice from my psychiatrist and psychologist about more thoughts I will not get into on here. Thanks!

OCD has done a lot of damage in my life. It made my high school experience miserable, it made things rough for my freshman year of college and it negatively affected my first relationship recently. I have gotten better with finding better copping mechanisms and I thought I had everything handled entering my first relationship in February. However after a month in, I kept overthinking stuff. I kept having “what if’s” pop into my head and I would try to fight it but it didn’t make things better. I kept worrying about stuff with my ex, even overthinking her bad days when she was more reserved. I went to her friends for advice on handling things and trying to understand her. I have talked to her about my OCD and she was supportive of me and understanding. I just didn’t want to annoy her when she was dealing with a lot her freshman year of college. I knew her friends wanted the best for us and became closer to me, but in the times I was panicked, I over shared stuff about our relationship. My ex found out about it over the summer. I told her months prior that I’ve gone to her friends once before just for advice on things and she had no issues with that. Regardless, I handled things poorly even with good intentions. I went to her friends for advice a good few times and the reassurance didn’t make things better. It was like a drug that helped me in the moment. Communication issues caused things to go downhill with my ex and I and it sucks. I kept feeling like I had to be perfect for her and I can’t make a single mistake or she would end things, but she loved me for everything I am, even my flaws. I just put so much pressure on myself. We both hope to be with each other in the future and know we can come back together stronger. I just feel guilt and shame for my mistakes and I don’t want to make them again and feel better about being with her. She didn’t do anything to make me feel pressure. She’s a very no bs type of person as her first relationship didn’t go well as she was badly mistreated.

“TEACH YOUR CHILDREN SCRIPTURES EARLY AND THEY WILL BE ABLE TO ACCESS ARMOR THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD.” For me, I am always blessed and HIGHLY FAVORED. You don't have to be a strong religious Bible thumper to understand. You don't have to believe in someone's GOD. Just believe in something greater then you. So, what does this mean for you. There is not perfectly right or wrong answer. Grounded

I met my current boyfriend after ending things with my ex a month earlier. By coincidence, my current boyfriend and I had a class together, we became friends, and of course I started liking him. By May 2021, two months later, my feelings for him grew stronger and stronger. At that time, I wasn’t really going through a depression over my ex. In fact, little by little, we had stopped talking since January 2021, and by the end of March I told him I needed my personal space because I was dealing with another type of OCD. Looking back, during all that time I was open to getting to know this new guy (my current boyfriend). Finally, in July everything was going well between us, and we decided to stop giving each other space. Meanwhile, my ex was stalking me on social media. I was very happy to be getting to know my boyfriend at that time. In August, we had our first kiss and then, as I mentioned earlier, we stopped dating for a while. In September, we ended things, which hurt me a lot, but in November we tried again. During all that time, I didn’t have OCD. Later, in January, when my boyfriend and I made our relationship official, the doubts started: “Am I still in love with my ex?” “Am I using my boyfriend to forget my ex?” “Am I really over my ex?” The memories, physical sensations, all of that. So, my question is: does OCD with thoughts about an ex only happen to people who just broke up and are still grieving, or can it also show up later on, even if you’re already in a new relationship? I ask this because I’m afraid I might not have gotten over my ex and that these intrusive thoughts mean something else, since I’ve read that some people develop OCD right after a breakup and get stuck there. But in my case, I just moved on, and then the intrusive thoughts showed up later.

Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?

What is it about getting a groinal réaction, feeling like you are into it with the not-prefered gender and not getting any with you partner and prefered gender? As i am not fzeling anxiety it really confuses me like do i want to have a girl not a boy

My 12 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with OCD. How can we best support her?