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hi! i am not doing well, and i need some support.

I obsess over this literally every single moment of my day. It never goes away no matter what I tell myself. There's like, one big memory that keeps popping in, with a bunch of other "what ifs". All involving my nephew. The big memory in question is, at one point, my mom was forcing me to clean my nephew because she was busy, and I normally refuse to clean up children. I wasn't able to touch him to actually clean him, so I ended up putting him in the shower to try and spray him off in a panic, which didn't work either. I broke down and cried in the bathroom. But now I keep convincing myself that I did something bad to him. Accidentally or not. I keep getting an intrusive image of me touching him badly that I don't think is real, but I can't prove it. In addition to this, my mind just keeps asking "what ifs" "What if you enjoyed it when he'd climb all over you when he was a baby?" "What if those accidental touches and brushes weren't accidents?" "What if you're looking at him inappropriately on purpose?" My mind has pretty much turned every memory involving him into a POCD soup. I legitimately cannot tell you what the truth is. The truth I WANT is that I'm just overreacting, that I hadn't actually enjoyed or wanted any of these things. But my mind has so thoroughly convinced me I'm a monster that I can't calm myself down. What makes everything more confusing is that my nephew loves me, and my family doesn't see me as a threat to him, hell, they've even said I'd make a great dad, if I ever wanted kids. (Which I don't, regardless of POCD.) So now I feel as though I'm "lying" somehow. That I've put on a front to make everyone think I'm safe so I can do more wrong. Even though that's... Not what I want at all. I don't want any of this to be real. I just don't know what's real anymore. I don't think I had done anything wrong, but my brain keeps telling me that I'm lying to myself. Any time someone tells me I didn't do anything wrong I end up telling myself that they're lying.

I'm a teacher off for summer. When I have unstructured time I obsess about what to do with my time, meaningful activities, connecting. I was terrified of being alone this summer with my thoughts trying to fix this. Then my husband was able to get off work and we were able to go to Maine for a few weeks. I was afraid I would get in a loop while here. First week parents were here and things were novel, 2nd week just me and my husband what do we do? Ugh. My sister has been here this week. She leaves tomorrow and we leave Sunday. I'm ready to go home. I have 2 more weeks before I go back to work one week with husband and one week by myself. Keep thinking about what will I do to connect and have meaningful activities when I go home. My husband and I just watch TV in different rooms, take naps and go to brewery. We always talk about how when we are retire we will go north for summer to get out of heat in Florida. My sister says I'm not happy anywhere, home on vacation at work. I tell her I have ocd which I feel makes me sound like a victim and making excuses. I think she's right. What's wrong with me?I'm reviewing the past lack of meaning and connection and worried about the future when I get home lack of meaning and connection. Ocd tells me if I can just think about it and plan all the right activities and make some friends it will be ok. Even though I'm afraid of relationships because I think people don't like me and don't want to be my friend I can fix it. Ironically by staying in the loop in my mind I'm missing out on meaning and connection right now because Im not present and I'm not solving the problem. I don't know how to stop. I'm telling myself I don't have to solve the problem and what's one thing I can see and hear. I'm afraid I'm not going to get better. Feeling sad. Worried I didn't explain this just right in this post

Life was really rough when I first started with NOCD. My OCD was at its highest and I had little hope and was discouraged so my original therapist recommended a higher level of care but I couldn’t find it and was left without any OCD treatment. But starting in 2026, it slowly got really better and I was able to come back in April or May with a new therapist and try again; my OCD score was already down to a 19 at that point. I did a lot of hard work and progressed with my therapist then it went down to a 9, then back up to an 11, then down to a 5! I highly recommend this app to anyone battling OCD. Everyone’s treatment will look different but you all have what it takes to overcome OCD and I still have more work to do but I’m excited for the future. Thankyou to my therapist and thankyou to NOCD!❤️

when other christians say "give it to God" it breaks my heart because i dont even know if i have God or am capable of doing that because i dont know if i have any faith. my mind has blotted out my ability to assess my own faith out of self preservation or just because i felt like i was driving myself crazy constantly assessing if i had faith or not so i can't know if i have faith because my mind wont let me go there. i wish i could "give it to God" but i dont even know if i can. my brain is such a mess i cry so much over Him

Hi there everybody. My life has been pretty rough lately. I can’t put into words how incredibly overwhelmed I am. Everything feels heavy, everything feels difficult, everything feels too much. I’ve been trying to stay positive, I’ve managed to stop looking for reassurance, I’ve managed to reduce compulsions: but it never goes away. It’s always there in the back of my mind, reminding me all the things I did as a young teenager and some things that happened perhaps 2-1 years ago. I know everybody regrets something they’ve done in the past, but I feel like my case is far worse. Not because I like to say it, but because it really feels like it. It feels like I’m drowning. Every single day. I’d say the major trigger happened when I experienced yet another heartbreak, which pushed me into thinking that I deserve to be alone. I’ve finally managed to access therapy, but I’m not on a regular treatment yet and my first session didn’t happen yet. Please, any tips, any experiences, anything will help. Thanks <3

Hey guys I need help… I keep seeing numbers and thinking they’re angel numbers and that it’s the universe sending me a message. If it’s a good number I feel better if it’s a bad number I freak out. I also have been obsessed with tarot watching it 24/7 trying to feel at ease over my breakup. I feel like I’ve become insane when it comes to “intuition” and have dived head into spirituality. I keep reading people’s energy and feeling it really deeply. I also keep worrying people are out to expose or get me (but then I’m confused because the people I’m worried about exposing me and getting me is someone who has assaulted me) I feel like I’m going insane. I am obsessed with “healing my inner child” and have genuinely been obsessed with my birth chart because it has shown that I have ocd and all the things I struggle with and it genuinely is so accurate that it’s made me spiral? I’m not hearing voices but i genuinely feel like I’m going insane? Help

Hi! ☀️ Okay I’m looking for some community support and hoping I’m not alone in this! Trigger warning for my contamination OCD friends! Is anyone else feeling insanely triggered by the world right now between the parasite outbreak affecting produce and then now the Canada wildfire smoke affecting the air quality on top of that? 🥲 I’m terrified to eat any fruits or veggies even though I know they say it’s okay if you wash it really well or cook it I don’t know I’m just terrified to get sick. And then now where I live the air quality is terrible the last two days from the wildfires like it’s all smoky outside and this morning there’s literally ash falling. 🙃 I’m just feeling like everything is unsafe and it’s such an icky feeling! I was so late to work today because I didn’t want to leave the house and then once I got in my car it took a long time to get out again to go in the building. I just wanted to share! I hope everyone is doing okay! 🩷

For the past 4 years I been obsessing with the idea of Alien and UFO disclosure. As a devout Catholic, I have heard a lot of opinions about the topic that just makes me confused. In the past—which is not the case anymore— I would Google 'Alien' or 'UFO' and sort through the news to see if there were any new ground breaking stories at least 25 times a day. I find that my OCD shifts when I get compulsions under control. Lately, it has been been looking at prediction markets to see if what other people think to just looking at the news but with the idea of potentially finding any ground breaking news. It sucks because this topic has been hot in the media for the past couple of years so it is so hard to run from it.

I grew up too quickly, and I was too passive so that led to easy access of being taken advantage of by other individuals my age. But also made me hurt others and make bad decisions due to the fact I was too scared to say "no." Due to the hypersexuality at a young age and what others perceived of me, my perspective of my sexuality and identity was a blur.. and now that I'm aware of who I am, it doesn't feel any better since I still don't feel in touch with my femininity or my sexuality due to my past. I even cut my hair off recently and I've felt pretty, but my mind tells me I'm even less of a girl now. (Flashbacks to past events because of that as well.) I hate how I used to act during certain stages, how edgy, how vulgar but so vulnerable all at the same time, how I've said some problematic things without understanding the gravity of it, my younger self is DEAD to me that even when I thrive to be so kind and love myself it feels such a lie? I feel unlovable and I sob every week because of it. I feel so jealous when everyone around me talks about their nerdy and awkward childhoods while I can't talk about mind since it was all vulgar and mature. It feels more painful when they either already know or if it's people/family who assume I was just a childish and hyper girl. & It's worse knowing I have a healthy family environment with older figures who have had conversations of safety and in topics related, and I just agreed while breaking every single rule of it. They all see me as an innocent person as well which in a way, hurts more knowing that I'm not. Same sentiment goes with others saying that I'm "sweet, smart, put together, etc.." It doesn't flatter me since I instead see myself as a monster. Now my OCD and it's subtypes all feel like a cycle of punishment. And I'm just supposed to "move on"? I can't even move on, and it'll be reminded again when school starts again and I see certain faces.. thank goodness it's the last year and I hope that I never see the building nor anyone there again after it. Is that too harsh? I feel awful for saying that.

This has always been very hard for me to articulate, so please bear with me! Ever since I was a kid, there would be times that I would all of a sudden become hyperaware of my breathing. This occurrence would always come along with an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I can’t for the life of me describe this feeling, but I’ve always hated it. Once I feel it I can’t stop feeling it. To try to stop this feeling, I would try to breathe differently or move my stomach in different ways. This would never work it just made the feeling more noticeable and if anything I would start getting anxious. It bothered me a lot as a kid, but over time I would become distracted with something and forget it. I realized that the only way to make the feeling go away is to usually focus on what I’m doing in the present moment. I have heard of sensorimotor ocd, and don’t know if this qualifies as that. Well, I woke up in the middle of the night, and as I’m trying to fall back to sleep, I’m following meditations. These meditations always require you to focus on your breath, and the feeling has come back. Instead of getting to sleep, I have focused on this feeling for like an hour and have been researching “how to breathe properly”. I feel like I’m in a sticky situation because the only thing that helps me is distraction, but I don’t want to distract myself with anything that will keep me up any longer. Do you guys have any experience with this and do you have tips on how to help it? Also, anyone have any good tips to get you to sleep?

Sometimes the OCD tells me that if I mention my fears it will make them more real. It makes me scared even thinking about telling someone. Especially in the heightened state of my fears. When I’m truly scared about it and I want to explain why I’m off, even to someone who knows about the OCD thing it makes me afraid it will come true. Especially if it’s sickness or religion related. Multiple times I’ve typed messages and then deleted them because it makes me more anxious to speak up. I also feel guilt because of it being an excuse to why I’m not somewhere. But sometimes I feel the need to confess and when I do I feel like it’s gonna make it all happen idk it makes it hard to even say anything on here sometimes. Anyone else do this?

What helps when you feel your OCD flaring up, especially with intrusive thoughts?

for the last past 5+ years been dealing with intrusive thoughts, contiment ocd and sexuality i some how got over those except the feeling of being a psychopath and it scares me it’s been 3+ years and this is my first time starting therapy i some how managed but it has gotten worst always thinking testing myself to thoughts seeking nonstop reassurance from reading reddit, talking to chatgpt 2-3 hours each day and the worst is i feel like im lying to myself, but i want to feel happy i feel like i lost myself i dont feel happy so i am stepping up and doing this i want my old self back.

I’m turning insane. I’ve just seen a video of a woman sharing her experience with coming out late in life and realising that she’s a lesbian in her 30’s. I started spiralling and kept on watching her videos until my whole algorithm was full of realisation/ coming out videos from lesbians. I’ve been in a (very loving) heterosexual relationship for 2 years now and I would label myself as heterosexual but I for example watched lesbian corn. Those coming out videos latch onto my memories and tell me that I’m secretly gay and it suffocates me. Especially if the videos are about coming out in marriages that went on for a long time. I have an incredible fear of missing out on signs that I deep down belong to another sexual orientation that I assumed to be. How do I deal with that?

- Intentionally think only sexual thoughts about my sister I sent to move on and not care sometimes, but try to make it about everyone to make it less weird?? - When I an just thinking normally - I come up with like different thoughts or scenarios to be told I’m a good person and that there is no limit - Need reassurance a lot - I think a thought and will be like when I admit thins I will be told I’m good so it’s okay - when I get health anxiety or get worried I get bad thoughts about people with cancer - intentionally bring up blasphemous thoughts as well and then ignore them Sometimes I feel guilty, remorseful, weirded out etc and sometimes I don’t It’s like I don’t want to think but I think it intentionally anyway This and this and this and I’ll be fine and I won’t be told I’m bad

Hey guys. This really isn’t an ocd related topic, but I do think it will come into play for what I’m seeking advice for. So I am extremely afraid of driving. Just to preface, I’ve been in parking lots and driven on backroads. But the idea of being on a main road or highway is terrifying to me. I do live in a heavily populated city and people cannot drive well on the roads here. Every time I get behind the wheel, I’m still very tense and anticipating something bad to happen. It doesn’t help that I’m driving my mom or dad’s car and they are in it with me. I believe my fear is that if I make a mistake, it would put me and my family in danger. It also doesn’t help that driving lessons where I live are hundreds of dollars, and I’ve passed the age limit for free driving resources. This is truly such a huge hurdle in my life that I have not been able to get over for years, and it’s really hurting my confidence knowing all of my friends and peers have cars and drive freely—except me. I’ve tried countless times to make an effort that is still ongoing. But I don’t think my strategies are helping. If anyone has suggestions or advice, I’ll gladly listen. I really want to have my license by the end of this year or early next year. :(

Does anyone else's ROCD make it seem like small problems are huge? I'm someone who likes flirting with him while we are out, but he doesn't really like it and thinks things like that should be more private. Now surely if we can find a middle ground where both of us are comfortable it will be fine because realistically it's not a big issue. But then my OCD strikes and starts asking " are you sure you want a relationship like this?" " What if he's embarrassed of me?" " Is he right for me if we are slightly different?" It's so so loud for me at the moment and it's making me feel really really anxious! It's the first issue we've had and we've been together for nearly two months and have known eachother for more than two years. How does anyone stop themselves from engaging with the thoughts like you're meant to and carrying on without making things a big deal - like not sweating the small stuff as people say?

I feel like I always hear people say “it gets easier to cope with and you just learn to ignore the thoughts” but I don’t want the thoughts anymore it’s driving me crazy I’ve lost my entire sense of self I don’t feel joy anymore nothing is good anymore, my mind will not shut off it’s constantly glued to the thought and it makes me doubt my true intentions and desires i just miss having a silent mind and being care free it just seems that it will never get better and I don’t want to just accept those thoughts and learn to ignore them when it’s all my thoughts are and it’s impossible to think of anything else other than them because it affects everything in my life I just don’t see a point in trying anymore I would much rather not have to deal with this anymore. If anyone has any advice please share!! (And I don’t mean to be harsh I just don’t know what to do anymore)

I have OCD about intrusive groinal sensations that I get in ‘inappropriate situations.’ At one point a narrative built in my mind that if I accidentally thought of these sensations when I was around children, I was terrified it would make me a paedofile. Clearly not. After therapy years ago all of my ocd disappeared and I accepted myself/ learned about how my brain works. But now the ocd sensations have come back and it has some fear to latch onto as I am a Dad. So it has felt really intrusive. And I kind of forgot how to deal with it. Getting help for this only works with OCD experts. I had a great therapist before as my obsessions have shifted around different moral issues, but it has been a long time. Obsessing about obsessions becomes a problem for me. I need to find a balance of ‘not caring’ while letting the sensations happen and removing the fear, while not obsessing about the obsession itself. I think I have to try and just let my ocd sensations happen and tell myself it doesn’t matter what it means either way. But I’m pretty sad and lonely in this, we are new parents so I’m managing this while adapting to being a new Dad. I love my daughter so much, I think that’s why the OCD came up again.