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Does anyone here have any experience having the gamma knife procedure done for their OCD? If so what was your experience like and how much has it helped you? Thanks in advance.

hi everyone! this is my first time ever posting anything on here and I’m really scared and this is not like a super big feeling for me because I know that I have OCD and I’m trying to tell myself that it’s simply OCD and it is not that big of a deal. But literally, a five second interaction has me upset and feeling like I’m being too flirtatious and I’m cheating on my boyfriend. My cousin’s friend who my cousin is like 40 and his friends like 40, we’re outside and I was coming back in with my laundry, and I had received a compliment from his friend saying my singing was beautiful. I come back with my laundry. I’m holding my laundry bag and I’m like talking to my cousin and I know that the guy is looking at me so I’m looking at my cousin and I’m like smiling and I’m talking in like a sweet voice and I feel like like anyone I want other people to view me as pretty and cute but in a weird way, I feel like my feelings were a little bit different ? and I feel like I was carrying myself in a way where it’s like oh I want you to think I look pretty and I look cute and my mannerisms, I just feel that I look back on a lot of my interactions with people and I’m scared that I’m like being disloyal or being weird and I know I’m not and I know that’s not what’s going on and if somebody thinks I look cute or pretty that’s simply a human thing that everyone wants other people to do but I just get so scared and worried. And I feel like I’m looking out for reassurance for someone to tell me that’s not what’s happening, but I just really need to know like am I being weird to my boyfriend? I care about him so much and this relationship is very fresh and I don’t wanna hurt him. I want a relationship to be built on trust and loyalty and beauty. In the past, I know that I would like attention seek from other people and I feel like now my OCD is using that against me where it’s like I’m constantly in a battle with myself. Please be honest in the comments and just be gentle about your honesty, please

Today I had my first session of ERP so I know I cant make any decision on whether it’s helping me or not. I just was struggling cause the exposure I’m doing doesn’t cause me anxiety even though if I think about it it causes a thought loop spiral and makes me analyze it. It’s like my brain doesn’t compute anxiety anymore. My intrusions barely trigger anxiety anymore it’s more like extreme sadness, annoying, depressing, and defeated feelings I get rather than panic attacks. I used to have full blown panic attacks but now I’ve had these thoughts for so long I’m like “really? Seriously? Can’t you just leave me alone?” And then start to analyze and “figure out” why or how it’s not true. I guess my question is how can you do erp correctly if you’re not anxious by the exposure.

so for a few years i’ve suspected inattentive adhd in myself, so last year i started seeing a therapist. after we had discussed my symptoms i visited a psychiatrist, who allowed me to start taking meds (methylphenidate) for it a few months ago, which basically equals a diagnosis in my country’s health system, i think. but recently i’ve started doubting it. and i don’t know if it’s regular ocd doubt or impostor syndrome or genuine realisation, but i’m worried that i actually don’t have adhd and that i’m just pretending and have lied to myself and others. it feels like i’ve exaggerated my symptoms a bit and that i don’t deserve to be on meds because i’m not struggling enough. i don’t know if being on meds made me forget what it’s like to be without them in school environments, but whatever it is, i’m doubting, checking memories, worrying and seeking reassurance on the r/adhd thread to try and find out what’s going on. if i go back in my memories, ask my parents and look through old physical notes from daycare, i find the following symptoms: very forgetful, hyperfixations, poorly organised, easily distracted and frequently zones out, senstive, impulsive (at times), very talkative, procrastinating and the basic stuff like that. i KNOW i technically reach the diagnostic criteria for adhd, i mean, right now i’ve been trying to study for the last 3 hours and barely moved, and i’ve gotten NOTHING done because i’ve been procrastinating and getting distracted by reading on the previously mentioned reddit thread and the dread is starting to kick in. now that night approaches i get my typical night owl energy boost and i suddenly feel like i could hyperfocus with the help of a little caffeine, almost. but still, it feels like my traits arent THAT bad or damaging my life enough to be treated. it just feels like excuses, somehow, like everyone does this. i’m scared of being dumb and stupid and an example of that, i that i feel ashamed and responsible when i read about the declining literacy and math skills in the west for example, thinking somehow that’s my fault and i’m just sitting here blaming my stupidity on a disorder i don’t even have. even though i’m very literate and actually do know a lot of stuff. but nope, still my fault. (kinda going off track here sorry) the annoying thing is that i’m trying to reassure myself and actually find information at the same time; i want to feel certain, but i also genuinely want to know if my symptoms ARE symptoms or just normal stuff. that’s why it’s tricky to navigate this. it’s probably mostly ocd because now my memories are getting fuzzy from trying to remember, and the whole ”doubt and check again”-cycle is a clear sign of that. and yeah, i should address it by ”maybe, maybe not”. but this DOES MATTER a lot to me, since it would be a huge part of my identity and it’s something i take meds for. while i know i’m not PURPOSEFULLY faking it, i’m painfully aware that i could just be a misdiagnosed, insecure teenager looking for an explanation for feeling crap. AGHHHH IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

Trigger; Idk just storms in general if you're like me and stressed over storms. I put a trigger warning because like at least for me basically everything can be a trigger. This is a vent and any advice welcome but I do request at the bottom- So I thought I'd been getting better with OCD when it comes to thunderstorms this year because I live in Arizona where there's an entire season (end of summer) where it's just storms and rain and clouds basically most the time. Basically yesterday me and my parents (luckily my parents were home or I'd have lost my mind), it started thundering all of a sudden while me and my mom were about to watch TV and stuff started sparking (visibly and I feel like I could feel it but maybe I was freaking out idk), the power went out, so she being smart turned off all the stuff we could (we live with weird wiring don't ask idk), and basically we stood in the middle of the kitchen (our biggest room) and waited it out but it's awful. Now I feel like I'm just waiting for it to be that bad again. Especially when my parents work a lot so I'll just be by myself a lot of days until October when it's supposed to chill out on the storms. I only mention my parents a lot cuz it helps me feel better when others are around. Also wanna add it's somewhat connected to some kind of moral OCD/religious OCD with feeling like if I don't tell the entire truth or if I'm being a little mean or stressed and snappy I'll just get smited by some god I displeased. So basically I want to ask: if anyone can give me like facts about storms or anything that might make me feel less anxious about storms? Especially bad ones. Or like ways to stay safe? I feel like no matter where I am I'm not safe because I live on a mountain high in the sky (closer to the frickin clouds), with metal everywhere I look (metal lockers for closets and storage+my dad's toolbox+metal bed frame) and I feel like when I walk if I drag my feet too much or if my feet stick to the floor I'll charge up or something. Yk. Idk. It's just scary how random lightning can just zap you. And I live far from a hospital so I'd probably just die. I also feel safer with socks on weirdly but I also feel less safe because I feel like it also "charges up" or whatever yk. Also if my hair moves at all I feel like the static is gonna get me killed, all that. Like genuinely anything I do feels dangerous. Anyways. Yeah I'm scared and freaking out especially more since the storm yesterday (which by the way took out our Internet/fried our router or the power thing for the router) Any help is appreciated. I'm just posting to ignore the current rain and thunder going on rn (light thunder for rn, ahh) It's gotten to the point I think I'm starting to see flashes that actually aren't there out the corner of my eye and some times I close my eyes I feel like I see flashes right before they close. It's gotten bad lol. Also another question -(ok this is so disorganized and large lol) - would watching the storms help "exposure therapy" or make it worse? I feel like it does both depending on the day and severity. Just general advice for a kinda astraphobia mixed moral OCD thing would be appreciated.

Hi everyone. I’m 25 and I’m looking for some advice because I’m starting to wonder if what I’ve experienced for years could be OCD. I don’t want to diagnose myself, which is why I’m getting a professional evaluation, but I would really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar. Last night honestly felt like my breaking point. My thoughts were making me so nervous that I was shaking, felt extremely nauseous, and ended up throwing up three times and having diarrhea. I was supposed to be studying for a nursing test, but I couldn’t concentrate because my thoughts and anxiety were making me physically sick. I felt completely overwhelmed and exhausted. Looking back, I think I may have first noticed some OCD-like patterns when I was around 8 or 9 years old. At night, I would constantly worry about something bad happening to my family. Sometimes, if I forgot to pray or do what I felt I needed to do for them, I would become scared that something bad would happen. I never wanted anything bad to happen—I was actually trying to prevent it. As I got older, I’ve noticed different fears and behaviors. For example, sometimes I’ll take a water bottle with me to the bathroom, and afterward I’ll suddenly worry that someone may have tampered with it. Even though I have no evidence that anyone touched it or did anything to it, I can become so uncomfortable that I throw the bottle away instead of drinking it. I’ve also had different intrusive thoughts over the years. In 2024, I had a very disturbing sexual intrusive thought involving my younger brother even though nothing happened between us and I absolutely did not want the thought. It eventually went away and no longer bothers me. More recently, I’ve been having a new episode where the thoughts feel much more persistent. It started around September 1. I’m in nursing school and I’m in my last few classes before graduating. On my way to clinical one morning, I was listening to a song I’ve heard many times before and suddenly became emotional and cried because I realized how far I’ve come in nursing school. Later that day, I started having an unwanted harm-related thought involving a patient. That made me start thinking, “How am I going to be a good nurse?” and questioning why I was even having these thoughts. Then, during clinical, I witnessed a 40-year-old woman code. She was young and had children, and it really affected me. After that, my thoughts shifted toward my mom. I started thinking about what I would do if something happened to her and how I would function without her. Then I started getting horrible intrusive thoughts like “do something to your mom.” I do not want to hurt my mom. I love my mom, and these thoughts scare and upset me. I have no desire or intention to hurt her or anyone else. What makes everything worse is that I start analyzing the thoughts. I ask myself why I thought it, what it means, whether I secretly feel something, whether I’m becoming a different person, etc. Sometimes I feel like I need reassurance that the thoughts don’t mean something about me. The more I focus on them, the more noticeable they seem to become. I’m still functioning. I’m going to clinical, doing my schoolwork, studying, seeing people, laughing and doing normal things. I’m not isolating myself. From the outside I probably seem completely normal. Internally, though, I’m exhausted from constantly fighting with my thoughts. I’ve noticed that lack of sleep, caffeine, stress, and possibly my menstrual cycle can affect how intense my anxiety/intrusive thoughts feel. I’m not sure how much hormones actually play a role. I’ve also been seeing disturbing things online recently, including pop-ups about an upsetting criminal case involving a mother and children. I don’t seek this stuff out, but seeing it seems to make me anxious and can get the thoughts going. I’m seeing a psychiatric provider because I want a proper evaluation. I don’t want to walk in and tell them that I definitely have OCD. I want them to evaluate me independently and tell me whether this sounds like OCD, anxiety, something related to stress, or something else. I’m also really nervous about medication. I was prescribed fluoxetine previously but never took it because I was afraid it could make my thoughts worse, affect my memory/concentration, cause suicidal thoughts, make me lose control, or make me dependent on it. I’m finishing nursing school, so I’m especially worried about anything affecting my ability to study and function clinically. I’m open to discussing medication, but I really want to learn about ERP/therapy and all my options first. Has anyone experienced different OCD themes over time, such as fears about something bad happening to family, contamination/tampering fears, and then intrusive harm thoughts? Did you also find yourself analyzing the thoughts and trying to figure out what they mean about you? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar. I especially want to know what helped you stop getting stuck in the thoughts and compulsions and feel like yourself again.

It is my first time making a post I don’t know if anyone’s going to read this, but I’ll just rant. When I was a kid and even as a young adult now I’m struggling with a lot of health issues .. at first, when I was sick, I never used to correlate my sickness with God, I would just think I ate something bad or I made a bad decision and it ended up with me feeling sick. I have emetophobia, which means I have an extreme fear of vomit. I’ll be honest I couldn’t even type the word vomit until I did some exposure therapy, but even with the therapy I didn’t fully do my homework and saying the is the only thing I’ve graduated from. I still am extremely scared. When other people do it around me I run away or I cover my ears., if somebody does it at home, I won’t use the bathroom or shower at home, I’ll delete the persons phone number because I don’t want to see their name and I’ll wear a mask at home and to sleep and try to stay outside of home. Now back to religious OCD, any time I was sick I would usually sleep on my mom’s bed when I was younger, when I was sick, my mama will always have a tendency to say “you should’ve prayed more” “ see you shouldn’t waste your time doing [insert hobby that makes me happy]” So imagine kind of like conditioning, every time I was sick I would hear something like this. So I sooner or later linked being sick to God punishing me. Even now as an adult, I still think like this . I’ve gone to. I guess you would call them priests and explain my situation and they will tell me that I shouldn’t think like this, but it’s hard when it’s already been engraved into the stone. I have so many hobbies, and I love to meet people, regardless of their gender, but whenever I have male friends and I get sick I have a tendency of cutting them off because I’m scared that I’m being punished and I must’ve done something wrong for being friends with males. But now I can’t even enjoy my hobby because I keep thinking I’m wasting time and how I should be just praying and doing something that God likes , but I know God says you can have hobbies and enjoy life but I was taught otherwise and it’s hard to ignore the tiny voice in my head.. even if I got help, it would be so hard to truly get rid of this thought process. I’m so sad because I feel like I can’t even enjoy life or anything that I like because I feel like I’m doing something wrong . Sometimes, when I think about being a kid, I miss how innocent I was and how I didn’t think like this, and that my brain wasn’t tainted yet from other people’s opinions . As much as I love my religion, and I do still believe in God, I hate the people who twist religion and use it to manipulate people . Is unfair and not right. Why do people always have to teach religion by always instilling fear? I wish I could see religion as something happy but I only see it as a military boot camp and my brain always is thinking of hell and how I’m always doing something wrong that God will hate me. I’m too lazy to look back and see if I made any mistakes so if I made any grammatical mistakes just ignore that

So I struggle with false memory/real event and cheating ocd. Basically I’m convinced I cheated on my fiance :(. I struggled horribly with pornography when we first got together because I was introduced to it at a young age. Basically I’d go on twitter to watch explicit videos/content etc. my fiance and I had a discussion about it a while later and talked about how porn is poison and just me basically telling him about how I struggled with it. Now, this is when my OCD gets worse, basically I had an app called character, AI, which is basically where you can go on there and you can talk to AI Chatbot or create stories with them and the AI chat what is kind of like ChatGPT it pretty much can create a story with whatever you want. So I was playing that game even before my fiancé and I met so I still played it when we got together, any character I had a hyper fixation on. I would create a story with at the time because I had put my account under my name. It would automatically use my name and I was just never able to change it to a different name, but I was not role-playing as myself even though it had my name. Pretty much there were times where I would be on FaceTime with my fiancé and I would be playing this game and he would ask what I was doing and I remembered I would get super embarrassed and so I lied about it a few times because I didn’t know how to explain it to him months later I told him about it and everything and he was not upset and everything and I just told him I was really embarrassed, and I didn’t know if he was gonna think it was cheating or not but we talked about it and discussed it and I eventually deleted the app because it just became weird to me. This is where my OCD kicks in basically, my OCD told me that if I was able to lie about that, that I lied about other things. My OCD also told me that I was not playing the game and then I was actually texting real men and I started panicking because I was like “oh my gosh, what if I was?” And these past few days have been horrible with my OCD because of this thought, as well as back to my Twitter thing I’m also having intrusive thoughts that are telling me that I cheated on my fiance on twitter and that I flirted with someone, bought someone’s content and/or sent nudes. I permanently deleted my twitter because I wanted all forms of explicit content out of my life and I genuinely don’t know what to do, everytime these reoccurring thoughts come up I feel sick and feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. I’m worrying that I don’t have ocd and that I actually did do something and these feelings I have are just guilt, even though I can’t remember things, I’ll get flashes or images of me doing the things I fear most and I wonder if they happened or not I genuinely feel crazy.

Do I have to do this to get better or recover? I really don’t want to it sounds to scary and real?

having a hard time right now. lets just talk in the comments about whatever. our life, what we've been up to lately; my mind is really fixed on one of my obsessions and it would help me a lot

Hi all! Anyone have advice for heavy rumination during wedding prep? Like is he the one, am I making a mistake, does God approve. This one feels so real and legitimate. I have been over consuming psychological trauma self help media and I feel so worried I am not “healed enough”. I have caused a bit of a rift between us and I just wanted to see if anyone has advice and or support. Thanks!

About a year ago i got into NOCD and exposure therapy and worked really hard to conquer my OCD and emetophobia. when i finished my therapy plan i felt like i was on top of the world and finally free from my cage. well at the beginning of this year i moved in with my fiance and got a new job. those things were some of the best things that ever happened to me and i was extremely proud of myself for working hard and doing it on my own. well fast forward a few months i could feel my old compulsions coming back but i brushed it off and tried not to. well now i just feel lost again. my anxiety is through the roof every single day im at work and i can feel my mind screaming compulsions at me and all of the what ifs. i end up disassociating for 8 hours at work and go home exhausted. 5 days a week. i know i need to restart therapy to get back on track but times are tough and i worry about the added stress of the cost and time it will take. but above all that, im not sure if im strong enough to do it again. exposure therapy was one of the HARDEST things ive ever done. and remembering how hard it is makes it difficult to get back into it knowing what i went through last time. i’m glad i did it and im so proud of myself for having the strength before, but its extremely daunting looking at it now. i guess i just wanted to rant to maybe someone who understands or has been through this before since i dont have anyone in my life who knows what its like to live with OCD. thanks for reading this far

Yesterday I had several confusing experiences involving sexual sensations and intrusive thoughts. At one point, something triggered a physical sensation, and my brain immediately started asking whether it meant I wanted to experience something with a girl or whether my sexual desire had changed. Instead of letting the sensation pass, I intentionally created replayed a thought to see what would happen. The thought became more vivid and the physical sensation became stronger, which made me anxious and made the experience feel very real, almost like a daydream I was experiencing rather than just imagining.I repeated the thought and then compared the experience with thoughts involving a boyfriend, trying to figure out whether my reactions were different. Later, I noticed other sensations and my brain connected them back to the earlier experience. I also noticed the “dream feeling” I had experienced before, and I became focused on why it had appeared, disappeared, and whether I could experience it again. With my boyfriend, I also noticed a swallow sensation that my brain questioned as possibly being a sexual feeling. Then I started comparing that sensation with sensations I had experienced during the girl-related thoughts and wondering whether my feelings toward him were muted. The biggest thing I noticed was that I wasn’t just having thoughts or sensations they became a test. I kept asking what the sensation meant, deliberately recreating thoughts, comparing reactions, and checking whether something felt vivid, real, exciting, uncomfortable, or absent. Each time I checked, I became more confused. I want help understanding why deliberately forcing replaying thoughts can make sensations or imagery feel so convincing and why my brain keeps treating those experiences as evidence about my actual desires.

Having a small spiral that started early this morning. My Relationship OCD was triggered when I woke up at around 3AM randomly and saw that my boyfriend was awake as well due to a soar throat. He was scrolling on his phone and drinking some tea that he made earlier, which wasn’t at all unusual. I was totally fine up until I rolled over to face him and he instinctively and quickly hid his phone slightly. I saw this happen, but didn’t bring it up at all, but that’s when my anxiety started to seriously rise. So I looked to see what he was looking at without him realizing, (which I now feel very guilty over) and it didn’t look like anything to worry about, he was typing something out and clearly texting someone I think, but the conversation and images that I saw, either I couldn’t fully make out, or were just potentially about mechanical jargon, which is not unusual. The pictures didn’t seem odd, just confusing to me. Nonetheless though, my anxiety rose A LOT just because he tried to hide his phone for a moment. “Well why is he hiding his phone if he has nothing to hide?” “Did he switch tabs before I saw what I saw? Maybe that’s what he was trying to hide?” I feel awful…I hate that my OCD is latching onto this horrible fear so much lately. I’ve been taking 20MG of Fluoxetine over the past week to try and help with the thoughts, but i’ve yet to see results. Any advice for how to go about this? I don’t want to bring this up with my boyfriend due to how many times similar conversations like this have happened, and I’m just fueling the OCD if I do that. I’m scared that this will hurt our relationship long term.

This is just exactly my last post, lasts arouund.. 3-5 paragraphs. This version summarized although provides less detail. Last night I spiraled deeply. I felt like I was going to explode, I know I need help and it hurts a lot. With traditional Gen X parents who do care for me but are so odd with mental health, it's almost impossible to get the medical health but I crave it so bad especially since I had it grasped for just one moment. It hurts so bad, especially since due to my past trauma I'm aware I need it so had. I'm hurting mentally, physically, and overall I feel like my development and brain is scrambled. This is getting really serious. (And each time I feel like I'm getting better, it falls back to a worse state each time. 😓) I'm isolating a lot, I feel like a crazy monster due to my OCD and it hurts to have talked about my friend 2 posts ago especially with how nice they've been to me recently,, even with doing a bad action, they never did it again and what does that say about me who's done bad? I don't know. Despite then, I still have no clue how to respond since I'm not sure what's morally right or wrong, especially due to childhood I confuse myself on what is. Maybe I'm awful, maybe I'm not. But goodness do I wish I had the guidance for once! I can't deal with this disorder for half of my life and all on my own? I thought I was an expert at navigating this, but clearly not.

how do i just be chill and not let delayed texting, behavior, arguments, normal things, phone calls, everything under the sun with relationships eat my life and consume my thoughts and my emotions at all times? this is so damn hard for me and i don’t know what to do. i try the distraction stuff and “doing things i like” but i always end up back where i don’t want to be with anxiety and worrying about my relationship. why am i exhausting myself???

It kept me awake all night I went to bed at 00:00 and actually slept st 3:30 and I had to wake ui at 6:30 today. It’s been horrible I keep manually breathing I’m genuinely gonna have another anxiety attack. At night time there are no distractions and I tend to hyper fixate on my breathing and I tried listening to an ocd podcast or just putting the phone away entirely for hours and drinking water and wearing comfy clothes but nothing seems to actually help. I can’t bring myself to think rationally at night because I’m all alone and it’s dark and that triggers my core ocd fear more of losing control of anything, (here it’s breathing). I absolutely hate this and I don’t know what to do. It’s so hard to think rationally but I don’t wanna manually breathe anymore at night or in the day, or any day I hate it. I wish it could come and go away. Does anyone have any tips or is going through this?

It robbed me of joy and a life I envisioned.

Hey does anyone else have this issue with OCD? And Self improvement? Where it doesn’t want you to improve your life in anyway? So for example. I’m an obese person. I’m not ashamed but it is definitely affecting my mobility.. And yet. Any time I want to lose weight. Instant fear of change? Also I read once that losing weight is a sign of illness. Like unexplained weight loss? And so even though my weight loss would be explained. My brain simply won’t allow it? In fear of maybe not picking up on unexplained weight-loss. Or whatever?- But that’s just one example. It’s everything. Habits or wanting to try new hobbies. That if I try to make my life better in anyway. I’ll be severely punished. To correct the balance I suppose? Like the reason I have good things in my life is because of all the bad things. And it’s like a balance that can’t be disrupted? Regardless, I don’t think I can ever break through. Anytime I try. Something slightly bad happens and just scares me right back? Hard not to believe there is a correlation. But I don’t want to be stuck like this forever. There is a dream version of me. And I wish I could reach her. Without fear. Anyone else felt this? How did you get out of it. If you have. Any advice is appreciated :)

21+ only OCD is making me scared about person who had an onlyfans and posted explicit things trying to convince me they're a horrible person, it's also making me doubt my memories of them having an onlyfans when I know they did. I tried to disprove OCD messing with me and make sure the person wasn't evil but instead got triggered hy unrelated instagram and twitter accounts that I reported to be safe because one of the twitter accounts had an anime banner that rubbed me the wrong way, during all of this, I was basically having a full blown panic attack and I saw an account on onlyfans with the same name that said unavailable but wasn't sure if was the same person, I also saw awful "leaked" websites and reported those because it's violating and also because of a reddit post that I thought could be related because the person had the same first name saying that they regretted posting NSFW stuff of themselves, and it turned out that the twitter account I clicked on thinking it was unrelated but didn't have anything bad on it, was related to the person and their other account had a worrying drawn banner of a character's eyes and part of their face that seemed to elude to explicit things so I reported everything I could. I also checked their linktree to see if it was their onlyfans that said unavailable or if I needed to report that too but it led to another linktree and OCD twisted my intentions. The twitter account that I reported at first and I don't think was related to them despite it being the same name also said they were 20 in their bio so OCD's messing with me about that despite me only seeing their account last year. OCD making me scared of triggers when itching even though I know for a fact that I closed my phone and put it down to do so. OCD messing with me about the compulsion again and I keep telling it to stop. I'm so scared I naively trusted the wrong person and that they turned out to be a bad person and I didn't know and I know that I'm most likely wrong about all of this but the 1% chance I'm not is eating away at me and I just don't know what to do, I don't want to have unknowingly done something awful but trusted them because they had an onlyfans and so would've had to verify their age obviously and send in their ID but not just that, it's like the possibility of them drawing horrible things after I stopped using twitter (or even seeing their accounts which was way before and I may have even blocked them for their following idk) means that I'm a bad person even though I never knew these things and they happened after the fact. OCD making me scared I gave benefit of the doubt to people who followed horrific people when I know I didn't but it keeps making me doubt myself and I'm sure I blocked someone that I followed when I saw they followed someone awful but OCD's making me doubt it and I think I kept checking if they unfollowed them after I DM'd them about the person being awful maybe but idk and OCD keeps making me scared I gave awful people benefit of the doubt.