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the NOCD Community

Hi!! Someone has obsessions related to wide open spaces and inmensity?

My anxiety/OCD got SO bad that I had a derealization episode. Scariest thing that has ever ever ever happened to me. If anyone has ever been there, please let me know. I have no idea what to do and am scared I’m losing my sanity :-(

I have really bad HOCD. It’s the only intrusive thought I’ve ever experienced. My therapist is 100% convinced it’s HOCD. I’ve had short relationships with boys and my feelings for them have been so strong. For the last 2 or 3 years I didn’t have these thoughts and I never had the desire to be in a relationship with a girl. But now my OCD is tricking me into thinking I did. I used to have girl crushes or be curious about things but for as long as I can remember since I was a little girl my dream was to always marry a boy. I know it’s going to take time and I’m not looking to get over it straight away but I’m just looking for advice on how to accept that this is just OCD? For some reason every time I try tell myself it isn’t real it’s just an intrusive thought my brain goes no you are just in denial. These thoughts are making me feel really ill any advice on how I can accept its OCD???

Does anyone else suffer from trichotillomania?

Why is it scary to be gay? Is it religious? A fear of not knowing who you really are? I am genuinely curious. I feel like this is one of the few types of ocd that I don’t deal with so I don’t really understand it.

So, I can’t stop pulling out my hair. I told my dad and he is worried, but my mom just said, “well if it makes you feel better then that’s fine. You have so much hair, you’ll never go bald” it does help me feel more relaxed, but I really regret it. I actually can’t stop. I know that trichotillomania is a big deal... H E L P!!! I’m only 13 btw

does anyone else get obsessive thoughts about their ex while they’re with their current partner? i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 4 years (also my first relationship EVER) and i definitely have PTSD from a lot of it. he broke up with me and i’m so glad that he did, because i don’t know how much longer i would have continued to be in that relationship. the thing is, even though he’s done a lot of fucked up things to me, i don’t have hate for him in my heart. i have these thoughts like “oh if you don’t hate him you must still be in love with him” and they make me panic. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 years. i love him so much, he’s so supportive of me and great. i get these awful thoughts that my ex was “the one” for me, i will never feel the way i did about my ex with my current boyfriend, constantly comparing them, etc. i’ve been to therapy for years now, and have come to the realization that i am self-sabotaging. i’m lost, depressed, and scared. any advice would be appreciated ❤️

My OCD is spiking in the form of pOCD today. This particular type seems really scary to me because this type is the one that has led me to more severe panic attacks and this is the one that led me to discover that I really needed help. It feels like I let this go too far and went untreated for too long, and now my brain just makes the association whenever I'm exposed to a trigger, which leads straight to terrifying and horrendous thoughts instead of the usual tests to prove I'm not a pedophile. For anyone who has wrestled with pOCD: how do you sit with these thoughts? I understand that with OCD, you often times (or maybe always, I'm a bit new to this) need to learn to accept your thoughts as they are. When your thoughts are so horrendous and difficult to have, how do you accept them?

Why is my OCD mainly based around thoughts of hurting those that I love most in this world?! It distressed me to no end and I don’t understand

Is exposure making you better or worse? I am a bit confused. Like when I am at a high floor and my obsession is rushing towards the window and jumping off. How is the response prevention message helping by saying “yes, you may jump off the building?”

I'm scared to post this on here, but I haven't seen anyone else talk about it, so I'm wondering if anyone else on here suffers from POCD? I really need to know I'm not alone. If anyone has good tips/resources for coping that'd be great. I don't have an OCD specialist anywhere near where I live. I do see a therapist who has been helping, but I still feel incredibly alone.

I am struggling a bit with school lately. I end up studying until everywhere between 6 and 9 pm most days, and it is making me miserable. I am considering doing school part time, as that is an option available in my country, but I am afraid of “giving up”. I am also scared I’ll end up with too much time on my hands. What do you guys think? By doing it part time I’d be able to rest more and probably work more on my mental health. However, I would have to spend more time in school, and I feel like I would be a failure. Also, all my friends would graduate before me.

Does anyone else not know how to tell their (new) therapist I have distressing intrusive thoughts? No, they aren’t an OCD specialist and those aren’t really available in my area. I’m seeing a CBT specialist (soon) who typically treats anxiety and depression, who said they’d feel confident treating OCD.

I’m scared of everything. I’ve been diagnosed with severe OCD, GAD, MDD, panic disorder, BPD, PTSD and OCPD. I get really upset when people say “I’m so OCD”. I start feeling bad because here I am stuck in bed while people who are just neatfreaks glorify this illness. I’ve been hospitalized several times, took meds, have seen multiple therapists including the ERP specialist, and have tried different types of therapy including the ERP, talk therapy, DBT, ACT and some other thing my insurance recommended me. At first I was getting better but now I’m stuck in bed again. I have difficulty with a lot of things such as contamination fear and fear of losing, forgetting, dropping things. Even as I write this I’m scared I’m forgetting to write something. At one point I had to write down everything that was said to me. At one point I didn’t trust myself enough to do things like cleaning that I had to record myself. At one point I had to shower after using the bathroom every time. Those are under control...for now but now I have to face new obsessions. I’m scared of stupid things like chocolate and crying. I know what’s garbage but hard to throw out because what if there’s something important inside the folds of the plastic/paper bags. There’s always something that triggers my anxiety. Getting out of bed has gotten easier but getting back into my bed is exhausting with my rituals. I’ve tried leaving the apartment and on good days I would just feel nausea but push through. On a bad day I would get really sick with nausea. And on a really bad day I won’t feel anything and go through with getting ready, about to leave my bedroom heading towards the door and I have a complete melt down. I can’t even sleep without having to do my compulsion of writing down my dreams. On a good night I do this three times. So I’m always tired. I’ve tried to stop and have succeeded when I was working with the ERP specialist. My insurance has expired, I can’t get a job let alone leave my bed to go get any assistance, I’ve tried work from home but everything is difficult. I was a bridal consultant, artist/designer. I’ve also tutored Japanese online but it’s not enough to get the “residential level care” that the ERP therapist had told me I need. The insurance won’t pay for additional treatments with the specialist so I’m stuck. And what sucks is that my PTSD has become stronger which makes doing everyday tasks even more difficult (if that makes sense). What makes everything even more difficult is that I can’t do anything to help animals in need. I’m an advocate-have volunteered, rescued, spread awareness, sign petitions etc and all of these add up to my feeling of guilt and shame that I can’t put my passion of wanting to help animals before my OCD fear. I have a dream. I have a goal. I want to have my catcafe and work with high risk shelters to eliminate euthanasia while I save to start my own animal sanctuary. I’m sorry this has become a long post but I needed to vent to people who would understand and not have to explain why OCD is more than just “get over it” or “just stop your compulsions”.

My OCD: Me: It's not clean enough. It doesn't look good! I've tried everything I can think of. What do you suggest? Friend, who is literally a professional housekeeper: That is as clean as it can possibly get. You did it better than I would have. Me: It's not clean enough. *has a complete meltdown for 2 hours over it*

Ah I’m really panicking right now and I knew you guys always provide fantastic advice. So since I’m in hospital, I’ve had my medication plan reviewed and adjusted. I’m already taking Clomipramine, which is a drug used for OCD when SSRI’s have failed (in Australia at least!). I also used to take quetiapine (an antipsychotic) as an augmentation strategy. However, My psychiatrist has decided to switch my quetiapine to olanzapine. One of my biggest obsessions is preventing weight gain. I restrict my food intake and also purge frequently. Anyway, olanzapine is associated with significant weight gain. I’ve taken it the last two nights and I’ve experienced this insatiable hunger, which is severely distressing. Is this a reasonable reason to ask my psychiatrist for a different augmenting drug? I can’t bring myself to take another dose ? d a i s y

I’m so convinced I have borderline personality disorder cause of all the intrusive thoughts and the fact it’s makes me wanna do them( my intrusive thoughts is telling me to) I’ve been taking quizzes all day on line tomsee if I have any other mental Illnesses that serial killers might have. I get very annoyed easily and mad which is a symptom of BPD, I’m so scared :((((

Hey guys I just wanna share what I have been going through. Haven’t been here for a while because some posts trigger me. I’ve been suffering from HARM ocd since September 13,2017 and have attempted to go the therapist multiple Times but quit because they didn’t specialize in ERP. But College started and I never had time. Some Days the thought are super hard and other days they’re controllable. These past few days I’ve been having constant headaches and I feel I’m Going insane and bouta go To mental. I’m not depressed or anything cause I still eat and go to class but lately my head always hurts I always get horrible dreams and I feel insane. I don’t even get anxious I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I feel like one day imma lose control and I have the same mindset or a serial Killer. I feel so deattached and spaced out. I can’t travel anywhere without being scared or having this creepy feeling again. I went to panera and it was 30 mins away from my house but I felt so dark and evil. I feel lost! And days where I don’t get intrusive thoughts I feel so nasty and my head pounds and i really like i want to go mental and do crazy things and want to scream on the top of my lungs and lose control. Is this Normal? Please someone help. I wanna give up. ( dw I won’t harm myself so don’t report this post) please share tips!

My OCD is a little odd. I have intrusive thoughts about my loved ones getting hurt, mostly my girlfriend being raped. She’s in the army and you hear such horrible stories and I’ll be at my internship (we have a lot of people who have been sexually abused there) and I’m worried that since the people who need to share their stories make me spiral and spend twenty minutes trying to convince myself she’s not being by one of her fellow soldiers, that I’m not cut out to be a psychologist. They always get graphic and I end up convinced it’s actually happening. We’ve talked about it and she said she takes precautions and she’s mostly around women (only comforted me a little. I’ve been sexually abused by a woman) and that she’ll be fine and that if something does happen she’ll tell me, but still. It scares me so much. Like, how do you deal with graphic intrusive thoughts of someone you love with all your heart- someone you may want to marry down the road- being penetrated against her will? It’s so terrifying and I think it might be interfering with my work.

Anyone have a scientific explanation for the OCD? I don’t mean why some people get it, I know that’s unknown, but I mean as in what happens to the brain during an attack or why we get stuck on obsessions and can’t react logically like most people would?