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working to conquer OCD
Do you ever get stuck trying to figure out whether your thinking is a compulsion,obsession or normal thinking. Im stuck for the last 3 hours. The question keeps posing itself. Question is how do i do erp for this?
It feels like I will never get better and be like this forever. It’s so hard to shake this feeling. I have never been so depressed and scared. I have POCD and have seen many therapist about it and have been told it’s a chemical imbalance or I need to start dating before I loose control also been told it’s my inner child that is hurting and needs to heal. All of these explanations have made me worse and have gotten to this point where I am feeling suicidal consistently comparing myself to others thinking they have such better lives and have never experienced this I feel so alone. I am on medication that worked for awhile the thoughts were there but not so intense. I feel the thoughts still effected my day to day relationships as I avoided relationships due to fear and the what ifs I was attracted to children. This just makes life not worth living. I see my siblings and friends in happy relationships and I’m stuck in this mind set. I started with an OCD specialist two weeks ago and for the first time someone understands what I’m really going through. It just feels like it’s too late.
My new boss has a toddler that he brings into work sometimes, and I know for the past week (it’s a very new job) I haven’t wanted to have sex because I know my brain will want to start something funny. My brain has already been flashing the toddler’s face when I’m randomly eating lunch or working, so I know it’ll do the same when I’m having sex with my husband. Then (not completely sure why) the toddler’s mom changed him when we were all eating lunch together a day ago, so now I have that image in my head— plus the smell of a poopy diaper. Any advice? Do I just push through with sex even though this is happening?
Idk...what just happened but...I just got a groinal from...a female child. What the fuck?? First I got hocd and now pocd too? God no...
Today has been so hard. My mind feels like it’s going at 100 miles an hour. HOCD is slowly ruining my life. Some days I feel like I’m attracted to no one. Some days I feel like I’m attracted to everyone and some days I feel like I’m attracted to just girls and some days I feel ok and that I appreciate the beauty of a women whilst being able to enjoy romanticising about men. My OCD moves at 100 miles an hour and I’m trying SO hard to accept these feelings and remember they are just thoughts. The hardest part is trying to remember it’s a conditioner, I constantly worry I’m in denial and I’m either bi or gay. IM SO DONE. I start therapy on Monday but I’m worried my therapist won’t understand and will conclude that I’m in denial. I’m terrified. I just want to enjoy being heterosexual and accept that yeah maybe I’m sexually attracted to girls and that’s ok but doesn’t dictate my sexuality - but today I can’t and today I feel numb. Just need somewhere to vent today
Forgive the venting, super long post, unabashedly looking for empathy about this horrible disorder: I developed HOCD at 12, almost 13. I didn’t get treatment until 23 and I didn’t manage to quit that particular theme until I was 27. It ruined my life; I couldn’t look anyone in the eye until I was 19, I was overcome with graphic intrusive thoughts and obsessed all the time. I couldn’t touch anyone for 8 of the 10 years I had it without treatment and when I did touch people it was terrifying. The impact made me so anxious around sex and dating it robbed me almost completely of the ability to feel attraction, so I rarely tried dating. It ruined the only almost-relationship I’ve ever had, first because I couldn’t touch him and then I couldn’t look at him. After I got treatment I tried app dating, but because I didn’t fully embrace ERP it was a nightmare. It was like the light was on, but the lamp wasn’t plugged in—I so rarely found anyone attractive at all that I couldn’t date anyone. As we know, all of this happened to me because OCD knew dating was what I wanted more than anything else. Last summer, after grueling months of exposures, it worked—I beat HOCD. It stopped bothering me completely. I was free. My ability to feel attraction returned. I felt like I was alive. I told my two best friends, who had been there for me through all of it. I started developing feelings for a friend of a friend, encouraged by my best friend (relevant: also has OCD but isn’t treated for it). She told me initially that it sounded like I liked him, so I should go for it, and encouraged me when I talked to her about him. She has been there for me through the OCD discovery: I have told her things about it that I told only a handful of people, including how it impacted my sexuality. She was there for a lot of conversations about it and through the disastrous app dating experiences. But the guy I was into hit on my best friend. I tried to explain that I wouldn’t mind if she dated him at some point in the future but then I got really upset and tried to explain that it bothered me so much because of all the time I’d spent trying to feel anything like this, and that this feeling itself was the culmination of all that work, and I thought she understood that the feeling meant a lot to me and it would hurt if she dated him. But it turned out she had serious feelings for him and then she started dating him. To be clear, I didn’t think I deserved to date him because of what happened to me—I just thought she understood how I felt and how the disorder impacted me and she didn’t. It unraveled me. Sad and disappointed doesn’t cover it; I was so crushed and furious and miserable I didn’t recognize myself. None of my friends understood why I was so upset, and it turned out most of them valued her more than me. I ended up losing two really important friendships because our mutual best friend/my roommate—who I also confided in about my OCD—supported her. I’m not interested in who’s right or wrong or if she should have dated him or not. It wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much if he had dated someone else, but that the person I confided in about the worst aspect of my disorder dated the first person I was able to have uncomplicated feelings for in my life broke my heart. That she and my roommate will never understand the impact it had on me—that they think I overreacted and it ruined our friendships and why can’t I get over it so we can all hang out again—breaks my heart too. I don’t have a reason to post this story here except to hope someone on this app would empathize with how absolutely devastating it was to hear the people I trusted with how the various personal bullshit ways this disorder affected me so completely not understand. TLDR: after 15 years of HOCD making me so numb that I lost even the potential for any romantic or sexual experiences, I beat it. My best friend, who I told about how it impacted me, started dating the first person I had any feelings for that weren’t warped by HOCD. I got angry. My other best friend/roommate took her side. I am devastated. OCD sucks.
The thoughts I get aren’t part of a subtype and it makes me feel quite alone :( Nobody seems to have the intrusive thoughts that bother me
hocd doesn't feel like hocd. Initially when I got it, I was sure I had hocd. But now...I feel like I don't wanna be straight anymore. I have no attraction to guys, no imagination and after hocd I can't imagine or think of a guy's face or body anymore!!! This last thing bothers me so much. I feel like I've forced myself to like guys. I used to love speaking about guys, marriage, bf etc. But now whenever I talk about it I feel like I'm in comouslory heterosexuality because I don't get the same emotions and feelings I used to have before hocd. My mom showed me this guy and I said he was hot but when I came back to my room, I felt gay...very gay. This is scaring me so much that Ive become gay.
I have a question not necessarily about OCD but about something I’ve noticed in regard to mental health and trying to get help from a parent(s). I’ve heard it happen many times with other people’s experiences and seen it depicted in media where someone is dealing with depression, mental health issues, is actually suicidal, etc whatever the reason, and they decide to go to a parent and reveal what is troubling them, and instead of helping and hearing them out, it’s usually met with a “you’re fine” “don’t talk like that nothing’s wrong with you” “it’s all in your head” “get over it” etc. I honestly don’t understand those responses. I assume parents want the best for their kids and to help them in any way they can, but when the issue is mental health related all of a sudden it’s not real and you’re fine. Why would you risk your child’s life and wellbeing and not at least have them see a professional or just sit and talk with them? Is it because of fear? Do they really just not care? Even if you don’t personally believe in care for mental health, your child has built up the courage to seek help from you and you won’t even try to help? Any explanations? I see it far too frequently
Has anyone tried psychedelics? How has it affected your ocd?
I was watching modern family with my mom and it was at a point where the father was talking about his son coming out and how it was hard for him. It made me feel really uncomfortable and in my head it was like “don’t act weird you’re in front of your mom” “what if she thinks you’re lesbian” “what if you need to come out to her” but I’m not lesbian!! I have a loving boyfriend that I am so in love with and I can’t imagine myself getting old with a woman. I want to marry a man. I hate when this happens, I was getting anxiety when that scene came on but when I watch it alone it doesn’t affect me that much. Does anybody else get anything like this??
Can I please talk to someone? I'm anxious about so much stuff!! I'm having multiple thoughts and obsessions :(. The thing is after hocd I realized that I've always shown symptoms of OCD. And I kind of analyzed my past self and saw a few obsessive behaviours. But today my therapist told me I might have OCD or I might be overthinking. That's scaring me that I have faked my memories and I'm faking my current obsessions too
Anyone else with ROCD experience extreme guilt about things they did before the ROCD really kicked in?
I am taking doxycycline for an ear infection and have bad OCD and anxiety about it. I google and read reviews about the worst case scenarios and am now worry about this condition I’ve read about called indiopathic intracranial hypertension which affects the pressure in your brain and gives you bad headaches and vision. It’s rare apparently but some people who have taken doxycycline have gotten it . My ocd has convinced me it’s going to happen to me. :(
Hi does anyone else have the pure o, I’m 61 and have had ocd since I was about 13 and on the whole I’ve delt with this dreadful disorder fairly well. Does anybody have any advice or tips when I do struggle as with this lockdown it’s not helping as I’m sure other people are to......difficult times. Cheers kevin
Anyone here with religious ocd?
I just saw a video on YouTube about how people with schizophrenia see things . I got really triggered . And the worst part is that there was a comment on the video which said that it starts with thoughts . And after sometime people start to see things . And it really scared me. Because from the day I came to know about schizophrenia. I think I have it. I know I don't have it but my mind tells me maybe . So whenever I do something a fear comes into my mind . What if iam schizophrenic . It can morph onto anything . I started doing erp and it relly helped. But today I got triggered due to that video and that comment. Please help me !!.
Help..it feels so irresponsible to ignore scary "what if " thoughts!
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