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Today has been one of the biggest battles with suicidal OCD for me. I spent the entire day in bed frightened that I really want to do what my thoughts are telling me to do. There has been a very strong urge and I haven’t been able to distract myself or do anything to calm me down. I can’t stop thinking what I could have done wrong to deserve this. I really want to get better, I want to want life and to exist. Why are my thoughts and feelings attacking me making me think otherwise? Why can’t I get better? The pain is unbearable and the urge is frightening me.

Honestly I don't want to discourage anyone but contemplating that OCD is described as highly treatable I am missing at least some success stories here.

Im so lost, So confused about who i am I sit there and watch videos on YouTube, gay tests, It just doesn’t resonate with me, but i look at my childhood or try to at least and cant find relief, and just want to know already, I feel like when i was a kid (8-13) that if i thought someone was good looking that was an indicator and I’m losing my mind, i can’t smile, I’ve been in bed all day, like i feel Im in an other reality, anybody want to talk? I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, i just want the thoughts to stop so i Can enjoy my life

how do i get past something i did and forgive myself? everyone tells me that it’s fine and not bad at all but i still don’t forgive myself

I'm afraid that I'm a racist all over again because of the fact that I was on Indeed applying for jobs and housekeeping came up. I applied for it. But then my brain went this job is for Hispanics. That is a stereotype and harmful. I hate my brain. Now I'm afraid beforehand that the reason I didn't apply for housekeeping jobs is because I'm racist. :(

A few of us have mentioned being fearful of sharing some of our darkest OCD thoughts with our therapist. For those that have shared with their therapist, what made you feel OK enough to do that? It could be helpful to the rest of us.

This is gonna be a mini rant because I just feel as though this needs to be said. Thoughts that don’t fit the typical subtypes need to be normalised. For me, my thoughts don’t fit any subtypes and are completely personal to me, but I’m so fearful of getting help in case people just view my thoughts as silly or as unimportant. I’m sure this is true for so many others too. I genuinely can’t stop thinking “you don’t deserve to get help because your topic of thoughts aren’t as bad as others”. Yes my thoughts aren’t violent or sexual in nature, but I can’t stop obsessing over them and they’re ruining my life. But I’m still so scared of getting help because I fear a therapist or a doctor or a psychiatrist will just perceive me as being silly. I have even been called silly on here before because of my thoughts which made me even worse because I already can’t stop worrying over the fact I’m probably being silly so for someone to say that to me it made me worse. To be called silly on an app where I thought people would understand that OCD and intrusive thoughts can manifest into anything was just horrible. I’ve had so much support on this app and I’m so grateful, loads of people have told me I’m not silly and that my feelings are valid, but because of the state I’m in I can’t stop thinking of that one comment on here calling me silly. If this applies to you, please you need to realise that it doesn’t matter whether your thoughts don’t fit a subtype. Intrusive thoughts are still intrusive thoughts and need to be treated the same, whether they’re part of a subtype or not. Please dont think you’re being silly, it’s easier said than done I know because I can’t stop thinking that I’m just being silly, but your feelings are completely valid. If these thoughts are taking over your life, making you miserable and you feel as though you can’t deal with them, please talk to someone❤️❤️❤️

guys ik this is seeking for reassurance but gay thoughts don’t disgust me anymore and they haven’t for a long time and whenever i read about people who do get disgusting by the thoughts i just want to cry i don’t want to be gay but my brain is telling me i do i’m freaking out and does anyone else’s false attractions and groinals feel so real?i feels like real denial

I need serious advice if anyone can give me some it would be greatly appreciated ever since my cousin passed due to suicide from paranoid schizophrenia and then my dad passed right after I get thoughts of what if I got schizophrenia and I get paranoid thoughts about paranoid thoughts it’s so weird it’s been hard to be around family and friends I’ve only been diagnosed with ocd anxiety and depression please any advice would help I’m sorry if I’m doing to much I’m just not feeling well

I hate that I no longer have motivation to do the things I once loved..these things helped me distract myself but now It feels like nothing works anymore...

I am always thinking about my past. I keep notes of every single detail. I keep calendar. I always try to have a clear image of everything from the last days, months, years. I am overthinking all the time and this ruins my life. If i lose control of what happened the last days my mind somehow dont function and i get really depressed. Is this ocd? Anybody else with same problem?

Can intrusive thoughts come with feelings? My intrusive thoughts affect my love for this music group who I love so much, they question whether I truly love them. These thoughts make me feel as though I actually don’t like them and I sometimes get feelings of irritation or being annoyed by the group which is so horrible?

Y’all, I am asking for some help. The media uproar going on about race right now is REALLY triggering my OCD. It feels like the entire white population is being labeled a bully. I am trying to do better in areas where I feel like I have given into stigmas, but I know over all I love EVERYONE. It’s just overwhelming to have everybody yelling at you from their Instagram posts all at once. Plus a loved one is dying. Please help. I feel like I am spiraling & I am so confused in this battle.

I need to get this off my chest. I’m losing a friend. She has become a very hateful person. She’s racist and homophobic and transphobic and just this and that. The list goes on and on. She doesn’t respect me. She’s hurt me so many times in the past and not once said a meaningful sorry if she ever said sorry at all. And she will not see she’s getting worse with her paranoia and refuses to get help. Instead tries to tell you your own faults. I feel like a terrible person for being friends with her for so long bc I heard all the hateful things she said and I was always too scared to ever say or do anything. Another mutual friend just cut her off after we found out stuff she both did to us. Now I’m trying to cut her off. I just feel like I’m a terrible person because I was even friends with her for so long. I feel horrible and it makes me wanna isolate again.

I am freaking out over if I have rabies or not. My dog missed his shot by two weeks, and in the span of that time he got into a fight with a cat. It's been another two weeks and we're trying to get him vaccinated but it's been hard trying to schedule during corona, and I keep obsessing over if he bit me or not. I feel like I'm going to die and I cant stop panicking over it and my family thinks im stupid for worrying and are just making fun of me.

huge ocd spike during a make out. The thought I had while I was turned on felt gay and now I’m crying again. When does this end

Hey I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Before I get to the main point I'm gonna give some background info: I'm going into my third year of University and it took years of constant denial to get treatment . I originally came in for my skin picking but after multiple appointments I was told I have OCD. I never thought I perfectly fit into having it because I was never organized nor am I a "germaphobe". I later learned everything made sens From being afraid to interact with little children (afraid I would assault them just from staring too long), all the way to staying up all night convinced someone would kill me if I didn't hide all the knives in the house. It took me just one month ago to sleep in my bed alone (after I stopped my rituals with my stuffed animals as a kid I was convinced they will harm me when I least expect it, and sleep beside my mother). It even explained why I had somatic rituals when I was a child (constantly balancing the right and left side of my body with repetitive touching until it felt right). Finally, after switching from cipralex (did not help) to Zoloft (currently on 150mg) I feel as thought my life is coming back. The reason I'm feeling distressed is that my main psychiatrist referred me to a CBT waitlist in a hospital. Well I just had a virtual meeting with him today... And he basically asked if I have cleaning rituals. I said no, I told him about my previous compulsions the first time I talked to him and told him the medication has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my anxiety and compulsions that I only do two rituals a day (~3 hours). At the end of the appointment he told me that I DON'T HAVE OCD or anxiety and suggested I go off my meds. Now I'm doubting if I have OCD to begin with, even though I fully know I do as my main psychiatrist has been so caring and making sure I recover. It really sucks because I feel pretty invalidated?? Am I overreacting or in the wrong? I don't know how to feel right now. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

I have a question. How are you guys been feeling with whats happening in the united states? I have been very very sad, i ve been crying a lot and i feel powerless. I am fr Mexico and there are things i think i can do to help (like open up conversarion groups with friends about the racism Mexico has) but i am afraid of people’s responds. I dont like to read negative comments they really affect me even though i don’t want them to.

As the anxiety goes down is the attraction supposed to go down too? My anxiety has been reduced but my attraction to the same gender is still there which still bothers me and makes things more scary.

i really don’t wanna go on medication but i’ve been in therapy for 2 months and i don’t seem to be getting better. i don’t know if it will get better with time or if i’m going to need to go on meds. i’m scared i’ll become suicidal, worse, or even become dependent on them. does anyone know if my intrusive thoughts can possibly go away with time if i really try or does that require meds? the thoughts are present all day long over basically everything i do. also for anyone who’s on meds how has it changed you with your ocd?